


Amongst These Broken Things

by NoRs



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Minor Dorian Pavus/Cullen Rutherford, Minor Fenris/Hawke, Post Tresspasser DLC, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-30 01:23:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 60
Words: 93,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6402742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoRs/pseuds/NoRs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Athena Adaar, a bookish and talented young mercenary ends up the reluctant leader of the Inquisition. Taking whatever help is offered, she finds herself out of her depth and falling for a Qunari spy while every instinct she has tells her otherwise. A fair amount of fluff, some smut, and references to trauma and the various ways people may deal with it. Also, many ramblings.</p><p>**Edit: This is a completed fiction to which I have added some minor edits and formatting. Also built up the DorianxCullen aspect of the story. Would love to know your thoughts**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The boat creaked and lurched as waves pounded the deck. Men shouted orders at one another and attempted to tie down the sails and secure rigging. The rain seemed to be coming from all directions, icy and biting on Athena’s face. 

“Humans,” spat Hissra, “too proud to ask for help when I could do the job of three of them.” 

“They probably worry we’ll declare them Baslat and kill them in their sleep,” Tarlok muttered as he grabbed a barrel rolling by and secured it with a deft sailors knot. Athena wondered where he had learned that skill and realized there was so much she did not know about her Kith. They all had stories and pasts they didn't talk about just as she did. 

Ashaad One joined them on the deck. Pointing to the horizon, “We are close. There is the coastline, and to the southeast the Frostbacks. Two days hard ride to this Conclave.” 

They all nodded and went below deck. Athena felt ill at the stench of the sailors and her unwashed Kith. The trip had been short but plagued with foul weather, and she knew she would be forced to travel ahead of the others with Tarlok, Katoh, and Ashaad Two. They would act as emissaries for Shokrakar and finalize the contract with the humans. Well, Tarlok would finalize the contract, she would be there to make sure Katoh didn't murder anyone she wasn't paid to kill, and Ashaad Two was remarkably quiet and deft for someone the size of a house. He would provide recon to Shokrakar who would be a day's ride behind with the others. 

The coastline came into view and Athena marveled at the number of people openly staring at the horned giants with their rucksacks and weapons. “You'd think they'd never seen a Vashoth Mercenary before,” she said. 

Shokrakar clapped her on the back, “Welcome to Ferelden. They will call you Qunari, because they don't understand. The dog lords don't know anything.” 

Athena nodded. She was used to being misunderstood and judged because of her horns and grey skin. It would make her father sad, to think of his daughter’s anger and bitterness. He believed in opportunity. She was glad he was not alive to see his only child working as a mercenary. “We are more than that, more than a worker or weapon. That is why we left the Qun.” Athena snorted at the memory as she sheathed the daggers on her back. _Well, that is all they see, Papa._

 

The ride to Haven was uneventful. Ashaad Two scouted ahead and allowed them to avoid most of the bandits and wild animals. Katoh and Athena rode with two chantry sisters who had come from the Free Marches to the conclave. Ostwick and somewhere else. Not Kirkwall, that was the reason the who world has come undone; why they were babysitting chantry sisters and acting as “neutral parties.” Katoh didn't like it. Shokrakar agreed, but there was good money in this. And an easy well paying job was not so bad every now and again, Tarlok assured them. 

The area surrounding Haven was filled with tents. A makeshift shed and barn had been repurposed as stables and a smithy. The shouts of soldiers training rose above the din as mercenary groups like her Kith set up camp by the front gates, between the mages and Templars. The Divine had arrived the night before, and the first of the talks would begin in the morning. Tarlok had volunteered Athena to be part of the Divine’s escort up the mountain. The rest of the group would stay at Haven and assure no fights broke out between the Templars and apostate mages. 

 

And then the sky tore open. 

And her hand was on fire. 

She screamed and tried to open her eyes but she could not see. She was burning, the fire was consuming her. 

She heard elven words and felt cool dry hands on her forehead. The burning subsided, but the pain continued to pulse from her palm to her shoulder. 

She was going to die. 

======================

She awoke in shackles, the dark room lit by an eerie green light. It did not take her long to notice that it was her hand that cast the glow. It pulsed and crackled and she gasped in pain. Athena flexed her fingers. A severe looking woman with short dark hair burst through the door, drawing her blade. The sharp one, Shrokakar had called her. Athena swallowed. She wanted her father. 

The angry woman with the Nevaaran accent was named Seeker Casandra. She thought Athena had murdered the Divine. It had taken all of her willpower not to tell this Seeker that all humans look the same with that stupid white hat on, and she would not have been able to pick out Divine Justinia if her life had depended on it. But the Seeker was not bloodthirsty and short-sighted like most humans. She had promised a trial, which was more than Athena thought she might get. The cries of “ox girl” and “savage” that cried out as she walked past soldiers did not faze her. She had heard worse. 

The elf named Solas used her hand to close a rift. It felt strange for magic to flow through her fingers and wondered if this was what it felt like when her father had cast spells. The dwarf introduced himself as Varric seemed a likable enough fellow, and at least attempted to not be intimidated by her. Though he was also a prisoner of the Seeker. “Or at least now, an unwelcome tag along.” He smiled. But he could hold his own in a fight, and the Seeker fought with an intensity that made Athena nervous. This was a woman who had lost her purpose. 

Halfway up the mountain a chantry brother ordered her arrest and was summarily dismissed by the Seeker and a red head who Varric explained was the Left Hand of the Divine. Athena asked how the Divine wiped herself if her hands were running around Thedas, and he fell over laughing. 

“Oh, I like you,” he said, “but I wouldn't say that near Nightingale.”  
Athena did not have time to ask who that was before they were asking her (her?!) whether they should take the mountain pass or push with the Army. Strategy was never her strong suit. She chose to push through with the army. Why lose more men? Besides Cassandra wanted to go that route, and the longer she was around the prickly Nevaaran the longer Athena figured she might survive. 

===================

She was not prepared for what she saw when she reached the breach. There were bodies strewn about, burned alive, faces and limbs contorted in pain and terror. The smell of burnt flesh made her ill. And then as they approached the center, a voice rang out. 

“Somebody, help me!” 

"Most Holy!” Cassandra’s anguished cry echoed through the canyons as she ran toward the source. 

“Cassandra, wait!” 

“Prepare the sacrifice—“ 

Cassandra stood in a battle stance, frantically searching for the source of the voices. 

And then Athena heard her own voice ring out. “What's going on here?!” 

“Most Holy cried out to you,” Athena was worried the Seeker would faint. “Who was there? What happened?” 

“I-I don't remember.” 

“It is but an echo” Solas said, quietly. “We must reopen this rift to seal it correctly. It will likely attract attention. Be prepared.” 

Athena concentrated and felt the energy flow from her hand to the rift. She wasn't sure but she swore she heard a strange humming noise as it snapped open and closed. She also heard the voice of the hulking Pride Demon in her head as it fought the assembled Inquisition forces. The pain in her hand was agonizing but as the rift healed and stabilized it became more of a dull throbbing. Then she passed out. 

=========================

She awoke to the shriek of a small elven servant who kept apologizing and that The Seeker Cassandra would want to see her “at once” she practically squeaked as she ran out of the room. The only think Athena had learned from the conversation was that she had been asleep for three days, that Seeker Cassandra wanted to see her in the chantry at once, and that she was no longer a prisoner. Well, to be honest she had figured that out on her own, since she awoke in a bed and not a cell. 

She wondered about her Kith, how many had died in the explosion. If one of those contorted bodies had been Shokrakar. Athena wondered if she'd be allowed to search for their bodies. Steeling herself, she stepped out of her cabin and looked around. There was a crowd around her as she walked towards the large stone building up the hill. Athena was prepared for insults, rocks, or rotten fruit. Not for whispers of “your worship” and “Herald of Andraste.” Athena shook her head. Humans were strange. She needed a drink. Maybe Varric would join her. He didn't seem to hold her race against her. 

Once inside the Chantry she was ushered into a back room with a large map of Thedas laid out on a table. Markers were strewn about the map as a young woman in a ruffled silk blouse read from a ledger and a tall blonde man moved markers around the map. The young ruffled woman was an Antivan named Josephine, the ambassador, and the blonde man—Cullen—was the commander of the army. Athena was unsure of what was going on, only that Cassandra believed she did not murder the Divine, and her hand was the only means of sealing the gigantic hole in the sky—they were calling it the Breach. 

“Well, you all seem to have this under control,” she said, taking a few steps back towards the door. “I will help out as best I can.” 

“There is one thing you can do,” Leliana began. 

And just like that, Athena was packing her bags for the Hinterlands to babysit another sister (or mother? These titles!) from the Chantry. Cassandra, Varric, and Solas would join. Before she left Athena mentioned her Kith to Leliana, the spymaster, who said she would look into it.


	2. Chapter 2

The Hinterlands provided more work than any of them expected. Rogue Templars and Apostate mages were in open warfare, while numerous rifts meant demons at every turn. Mother Giselle was easy enough to pack up and send to Haven (that order had garnered her a groan from Cassandra and a snigger from Varric, with even stoic Solas smirking a bit). But there were refugees without food or shelter, and Athena said she would like to stay an extra week to help Harding and the other Inquisition scouts secure the area. They all agreed. No argument. It unnerved her. 

At night they would set up camp. Solas would retreat to his tent to meditate. Varric would tell Athena stories by the fire or maintain his correspondences, openly complaining about the Merchants Guild. Cassandra would also write reports back to Haven, or would polish her armor after supper. Athena had no one to write or report to, her armor required little maintenance, so if Varric had work to do, she would read. 

It was something that she was always teased about when she was part of the Valo-kas. Books took up precious cargo space, but Athena would not part with her father’s gifts. The books were mostly histories, though Athena had a soft spot for romance, and knew the story of the hero of Ferelden by heart. A woman who had captured the heart of a reluctant prince, killed an Archdemon, and become Queen of Ferelden. Varric had graciously signed her copy of Tales of the Champion, and told her stories of his time in Kirkwall. Though he smiled and joked around, she could tell he worried about Hawke. When she was younger she had heard about the Champion’s defeat of the Arishok because she would not give away her friend to the Qunari. Athena remembered her father promising her one day she too would have friends as loyal as Hawke. She believed him. The next day a farmer's son called her a ugly giant and threw a rock at her. She shook her head, trying to clear the memory. 

Luckily, there was a small library at Haven, and as such she was halfway through Brother Genitivi’s Thedas: Myths and Legends. It was refreshing to read something new. It took her a few moments before she noticed an Inquisition scout standing over her. 

“Can I help you?” She asked. 

“Sorry to disturb you, Herald-“ 

“You really don't need to—“ 

“Sister Leliana’s orders. A message for you.” The scout handed Athena a stack of paper. Athena accepted them and just stared at the papers as the scout saluted and walked off. She had never gotten letters before. She eagerly opened the seal on the first letter. It was a report from Cullen requesting her approval to construct watch posts around the Hinterlands. The second was something from Josephine reporting Mother Giselle’s safe arrival and request for more supplies. The third was from Leliana. Athena’s heart leapt to her throat as she read the fate of her Kith. 

 

_Adaar,_

_I heard you were dead, and then a prisoner, and then maybe you fell out of the Fade and landed on your head and forgot who you were. Seriously, stop that. We still haven't been paid._

_Some of our Kith made it out of that giant shit hole full of demons after the explosion. The rest are dead or missing. I don't know how many were rounded up by angry humans. If you're not dead and you remember who you are, help me find our brothers and sisters._

_Shokrakar_

_P.S. If you forgot who you are, I'll remind you: Your name is Adaar. You're Vashoth. You didn't get paid for being blown up._

_P.P.S. If you are dead, disregard this message._

 

Athena smiled. They were alive. 

“You look like you got good news,” Varric observed over his reading glasses, his lap filled with parchments. 

“My Kith—the mercenary group I belonged to before,” she gestured around her, “this happened. They're alive.” 

“Good news is hard to come by,” he smiled. "So what's wrong?” 

Athena frowned. “They didn't get paid. They think I can do something about that. Shrokakar is worse than a Dwarf when it comes to money—“ she clapped her hands over her mouth, horrified. “Oh Varric I am so—“ 

But the dwarf laughed as he took the letter from Athena's hands. Her mouth quirked into a half smile. “You're not offended?” 

Varric shook his head. “It would be like you getting offended for me saying Qunari are tall.” He handed the letter back to Athena. “Talk to Ruffles, she can sort it out for you. I'd like to meet this lady, one day.” 

“We are good. Or we were…I don't even know what tense to use.” Athena wiggled her marked hand, green light crackled through her fingers. “Things will be alright, won't they, Varric?” 

Varric offered her a forlorn smile. “Look kid, I'm just a storyteller. But these kinds of stories...they aren't usually the ones with happy endings for the Hero.” 

“Hawke lived, though.” Athena felt desperate. I don’t want to be the hero, she thought. 

“Well, yes. But surviving and happy endings aren't the same thing.” Varric’s face looked pained. She a felt her eyes burning. She blinked rapidly and stood up. “I'm going to bed now,” she told no one in particular. Varric grunted, staring into the fire. 

==================

Two weeks of wandering the Hinterlands had proved successful. Many of the rogue Mage and Templar factions had been run off, most of the rifts had been closed, and horse master Dennet had agreed to travel to Haven and man the stables. Cassandra had managed that last accomplishment. She could lay the guilt on thicker than anyone. 

Athena had also found what by all accounts may have been the last Grey Warden in Ferelden. Blackwall blocked an arrow to her head within the first few minutes of their introduction, and had a tendency to say “Makers Balls,” which always earned a groan from Cassandra. But he was kind and earnest, and something about him felt like home to her. They arrived in Haven with enough time to bathe and gather up supplies before they were off to Val Royeaux. 

Athena had never been to the big city, and found it beautiful. Even if they were told by almost every vendor that they did not “serve her kind.” Athena had to practically carry Cassandra away from one vendor who told her to take her “smelly ox” somewhere else. Varric simply looked as though he had been eating lemons. Solas was unfazed, but as an apostate Elf Athena guessed he did not even bother interacting with most humans. Or, based on his general demeanor, he did not interact with most people. But she survived Val Royeaux, there was nothing shouted at her that she had not heard before, and she did let Cassandra punch a man who threw an apple at them. Athena had managed to catch and took a bite. 

“Happened a lot as a kid,” she explained to Varric, “especially after Kirkwall.” 

“You seem to take these human’s contempt and bigotry in stride,” Solas observed. 

Athena shrugged. “I've heard worse.” 

Solas nodded. “There are layers to you I admit I did not expect to find. It is refreshing to be surprised after so long.” 

“Oh,” Athena was not sure what to make of his comment, but she chose to take it as a compliment. 

 

Over the course of their time in the city they were joined by an elven archer named Sera but also Red Jenny, and while she was unhinged Athena remembered stories of the Hero of Ferelden, who allowed her own attempted assassin to fight alongside her. 

“If people want to help,” she explained to the others, “who am I to say no?” 

Josephine was much more enthusiastic about Athena recruiting Madame De Fer, who promised both her considerable talent and her political connections. Vivienne and Josephine almost immediately began to discuss improving the décor and Athena’s “potential,” which made her very afraid she would end up in a dress if she stayed around either of them too long. Excusing herself Athena ran towards the tavern, colliding with a soldier in unfamiliar armor. 

“Excuse me,” he saluted. “I've got a message for the Inquisition, but I'm having a hard time getting anyone to talk to me.” 

“Who are you, soldier?” 

“Cremissius Acclasi with The Bull’s Chargers Mercenary Company. We mostly work out of Orlais and Nevarra. We got word of some Tevinter mercenaries gathering out on the Storm Coast. My company commander, Iron Bull, offers this information free of charge. If you'd like to see why the Bull’s Chargers can do for the Inquisition meet us there and watch us work.” 

The Chargers? The name sounded familiar to her. “I think I've heard of your Kith, what should I know about your commander?” 

“Iron Bull? He's one of those Qunari. The big guys with the horns?” 

“I'm familiar with them.” 

The soldier cleared his throat. “Ah, right. Well, he leads from the front, he pays well, and he's a lot smarter than the last bastard I worked for. Best of all, he's professional. We accept contracts with whoever makes the first real offer. You're the first time he's gone out of his way to pick a side.” 

Athena studied the soldier in front of her. He knew all the right things to say, and his commander was smart enough to send a human to negotiate, considering how twitchy they are around Qunari. She was intrigued. 

“We’ll consider your offer.” 

“I'd appreciate it,” the soldier puffed his chest out a bit. “We're the best you'll find. Come to the Storm Coast, and you can see us in action.” Athena nodded and the soldier walked off, lost in the crowds and clangs of soldiers practicing outside the gates. 

Athena spent a few days in Haven, mostly inside the tavern when she was not being pulled into meetings and being asked to make decisions about things she felt she had no business deciding. Sera was sympathetic enough to Athena’s griping, especially when she did not have to pay for drinks, but the following morning Athena was presented with a heavily graffitied letter requesting Inquisition resources be used to locate the recipe for a grenade that launched bees at an enemy. Everyone wanted something from her. Frustrated, Athena stomped off into the woods in search of elfroot. She would often go off in search of herbs for her father, and found the simple act of pulling the plant tight and slicing it lose with a dagger calmed her nerves. 

The cold did not bother her. It never had. Her father had told her it was because they were from the North, where it was warmer. Athena figured that would make her more sensitive to the cold, but she watched her hands steaming slightly as she held it in front of her; the faint hum of the mark seemed louder in the stillness of the forest. She felt so tired, and the thought of having a mercenary company of her own, would it be one more things she wasn't ready to manage? But Athena knew the life, and the thought of having a group of soldiers like her around felt comforting. She'd go to the Storm Coast. Blackwall had expressed a desire to search that area for Grey Warden artifacts, and she was tired of telling people what to do.


	3. Chapter 3

The Storm Coast lived up to its name. The rain seemed to come from every direction, varying from a light mist to thick heavy drops that felt like razors when the wind picked up. Varric grumbled and kept to his tent, complaining of the weather and terrain. Blackwall seemed as oblivious to the elements as Solas had been despite the fact that his hair hung in his eyes. Vivienne, to her credit, did not complain about the weather or the conditions of the camp site, though she and Blackwall clearly did not get along. Athena realized that she would need to be more strategic about who she brought with her, as endless bickering would become tedious quickly. She was grateful when they reached the scout camp. It meant she could at least make an excuse to find the Chargers and not listen to Vivienne’s suggestions for vestments “suitable” for the Herald of Andraste. While Athena was glad that the Grand Enchanter did not see her as an animal, the endless talk of her 'potential' made her uneasy, unsure of the endgame. It reeked of politics, and Athena had already discovered that she hated politics. 

She walked alone down the shore nearby with two long daggers strapped to her back. Off in the distance she heard the clash of swords and the shouts of soldiers. She watched the Chargers engage the Tevinter soldiers. They were a motley crew: several humans and a few elves, and Athena swore she saw a dwarf throw a grenade at a group of mages, who exploded into flames. 

What Athena had not been prepared for was The Iron Bull. He was large, even by Qunari standards. His grey skin, soaked in the pelting rain, glistened and shone as he swung an enormous axe over his head and tore through a group of men. He wore armored breeches and a leather harness that covered one shoulder but wore no helmet nor chest plate. He was all muscle and mass, fighting with a disciplined madness that she had never seen before. Then again, she had never seen a Qunari trained fighter. The fighters in her Kith had been like her, a combination of self-taught and human-trained. Bull swung around and saw Athena, his face registering not shock but mild surprise, and perhaps pleasure? She was unsure if she saw a smile on the one-eyed warriors face. He lowered his axe and Athena saw, out of the corner of her eye, the glint of a blade behind him. 

“Behind you!” She cried and pointed to a cloaked rogue. Bull spun around with surprising grace and agility, but the Tevinter fell dead at his feet, Athena's dagger buried in his throat. She had not remembered pulling it from her boot and hurling it across the beach. And she was grateful that she had hit her target. She normally had terrible aim. 

The Iron Bull caught his breath and whooped. 

“Krem!” He called out, “how’d we do?” 

“Five or six wounded Chief, no dead.” Called out the soldier Athena had met back in Haven. 

“That's what I like to hear,” he roared. “Let the throat cutters finished their job and then break open the casks.” 

He slung his axe over his shoulder and it clicked onto the leather harness. He pulled the dagger out of the dead rogue’s throat and handed it back to Athena. 

“Haha,” he laughed. “So it is true. Oh the Chantry must love you. a Qunari mercenary is the Herald of Andraste, who’d a thought.” 

His quick smile and familiarity threw Athena off balance. He was true Qunari from Par Vollen, but he did not fit any of the stories of the stoic warriors her parents or her books had mentioned. 

“Shenaden, Sten.” She said, awkwardly. Realizing, immediately, it was the wrong thing to say. Bull’s smile faded. 

“Yeah, let's keep that to a minimum. Makes the boys twitchy.” He sat down on a log and gestured for Athena to join him. She had been around other warriors, but even Cullen seemed small and weak compared to Bull. His torso was covered in scars: silver lines that crisscrossed his chest and back, and told the story of every fight he has seen. His missing eye was covered by an eyepatch held with leather straps that wrapped around his head and horns. He was still breathing heavily from the fight and radiated a heat she could feel from where she sat. Athena felt an overwhelming urge to touch him. 

“I assume you remember Cremessius Acclassi, my lieutenant.” 

Krem saluted. “Good to see you again. Throat cutters are done, Chief.” 

“Already? Have them check again. Don't want any of those Tevinter bastards getting away. No offense, Krem.” 

“None taken, at least a bastard knows who it's mother is. Puts them one up on you Qunari, right?” Krem walked off. 

“So, Bull began, "you've seen us fight. We're expensive but worth it, and I'm sure the Inquisition can afford us.” 

“How much is this going to cost me, exactly?” 

“Wouldn't cost you anything personally, unless you wanted to buy drinks later. You're ambassador—what's her name—Josephine? We’ll go through her and get the payments set up. Gold will take care of itself, don't worry about that. All that matters is we’re worth it. But you're not just getting the Chargers. You're also getting me.” There was an intensity in his gaze that caused heat to rise up Athena’s throat. She wondered if she was blushing. She realized Bull was still talking, “I'm your man, whatever it is: demons, dragons, the bigger the better.” 

Bull stood and walked a few paces towards the water. “There's one other thing, may be useful, may piss you off. You ever heard of the Ben-Hassrath?” 

Athena frowned and looked out toward the sea. “I learned of the Ben-Hassrath from my parents. They are the enforcers of the Qunari. And the spies.” 

“Yeah,” he said slowly, leveling his gaze on her. “That's them. Or…us.” 

Athena was afraid she would vomit. She knew the blood was draining from her face as she stood in front of him. She kept her gaze to the horizon. Bull continued to talk. 

“The Ben-Hassrath are concerned about the breach. Magic out of control like that could cause trouble everywhere. I've been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and send reports on what's happening. But I also get reports from Ben-Hassrath agents all over Orlais. You sign me on, I'll share them with your people.” 

Athena finally looked at Iron Bull. “You're a Qunari spy, and you just…told me?” She could not make sense of this man before her, so different from the Ben-Hassrath she had run into in the Free Marches.

“Whatever happened at that Conclave thing, it's bad. We need to get that breach closed. So whatever I am,” he opened his arms as if to embrace her. “I'm on your side.” 

He assured her that nothing he sent would compromise her “operation.” As if she was the mastermind behind it all and not just an unlucky bystander with a new magical hand. He also not so subtly hinted that he was perhaps the only one who could keep the Qunari from invading. Spy or no spy, no one needed that. 

“Alright, you're in.” She said, focusing on the big picture. Putting her own feelings aside. 

“Excellent,” The Iron Bull growled. “Krem!” He shouted, “tell the men to finish drinking on their own. The Chargers just got hired!” 

“Aw, what about the casks, Chief?” Yelled Krem from across the beach. “We just opened them up. With axes.” 

Athena giggled. Shokrakar often tried to make them look more disciplined in front of new or prospective employers as well. She was confused about the Bull and his intentions, but she liked Krem. It was something she and Katoh would have done.

“Find some way to seal ‘em,” Bull grumbled.”You're Tevinter, right? Try blood magic.” And he followed Athena up the beach. She did not talk, and was acutely aware of his gaze following and assessing her every movement. She pointed out the Inquisition campsite up the hill, and he nodded. “We'll meet you back at Haven.” 

======================

Two more weeks of following the coastline and even the unflappable Vivienne was beginning to show signs of fatigue from the endless damp weather. They were running low on supplies and Athena was desperate for a hot bath. When she announced she thought they should return to Haven she laughed at how quickly her companions not only agreed but were ready to depart. They made good time back up the Frostbacks thanks to Ashaad Two’s shortcuts, and Athena was grateful to see the tents and hear the din of the Inquisition’s forces training. Cullen was monitoring his men, Cassandra was eviscerating a practice dummy, and Sera—much to Athena's surprise—was utilizing the archery targets. She wondered if they were sore about being left behind and resolved to bring a larger company with her next time she traveled. 

Josephine arranged for a bath before a meeting at the War Table. It seemed it was time to travel to Redcliffe and meet with Grand Enchanter Fiona. But they had a few days to gather supplies and Athena spent them with Cassandra and Blackwall. The two enjoyed sparring in the morning, and Athena had never had any formal shield training. Her agility and speed meant she was perfectly suited for daggers and knives, but her size and strength meant she could handle a heavy single or two handed weapon. Blackwall in particular was a patient and skilled teacher and said she could benefit from improving her sword work. 

=========================

When she wasn't being dragged to meetings with the advisors (she didn't dare refer to them as her advisors, though her word seemed to be the final one) or training with Blackwall, Cassandra, and the other Inquisition soldiers, she was in the tavern. Sera had taken up residency at (sometimes under) one of the tables and Athena would often come after supper to find Sera, Varric, and Blackwall sitting together. The evening before heading out to Redcliffe she found a fourth person had joined them: The Iron Bull. 

Athena had not spoken to him since their initial encounter on the Storm Coast because he made her nervous. She wished she could just hate him for being Ben-Hassrath, but his easy smile and the freedom with which he shared information left her unwilling to burden him with old hatreds. His smile also unnerved her, as it did when he caught sight of her. 

“Please,” he gestured with his large hands, “join us, mighty Herald.” 

Athena rolled her eyes and slid down next to him, the only spot on the bench. “I see you've made yourself at home.” 

“You've got a good thing going here,” he said, his good eye always darting around the room, measuring, evaluating. He noticed everything. “Though you could use a better selection of drinks.” 

“You'll have to submit a formal requisition form, though most of our energies have been on outfitting the soldiers and scouts and—“ she noticed his grin had widened. ”You were joking, weren't you?” 

“Well, it was a joke,” he said, and then looked pensive for a moment. “But now I'm wondering what else you can get shipped here if I get you to sign off on a requisition form.” 

“Whose tha?” Sera brooke in. She and Varric had been talking about how her “friends” could help secure some of Varric’s “legitimate” shipments. She had clearly been drinking all afternoon. 

“Another round?” Bull signaled to the serving girl passing their table. Sera had already fallen asleep at the table. Varric excused himself. Bull shrugged. “Well, Herald, you drinking? I'm buying.” 

Athena shook her head. “We've got to get up in the morning for Redcliffe at daybreak.” 

“We,” Bull said, never missing a detail. Athena studied her hands and nodded. “Well, then I guess we'd both get to bed.” He stood and swayed slightly. Athena reached out to steady him. He looked at her and smiled. He was warm to her touch, and his scars looked almost silver in the dim light of the tavern. Athena suddenly felt dizzy and pulled her hands away. 

“Yes, bed.” She stuttered. “Goodnight, Bull.” 

“I didn't mean—“ but she was running out of the room and didn't turn around. Though she thought she heard him swearing from behind the closed doors.


	4. Chapter 4

Redcliffe added more complications to Athena's day. Tevinter magisters, then time magic. She met with Alexius and immediately had a raven sent back to Haven to inform the advisors. Cassandra and Bull did not trust the Tevinter mage Dorian, but Athena believed he was honest. 

“He is willing to help. Who am I to say no to help offered?” She had been using that line a lot of late, accepting anyone from smugglers to snooty merchants. But she also found some Tranquil mages who had no protection. She accepted them into the Inquisition as readily as the able-bodied soldiers who volunteered daily. Back at Haven it was decided that she would take bait to Alexius’ obvious trap and go to the castle at Redcliffe, despite Cullen’s assertions that the Templars could help seal the breach. 

“Yeah, well, I’m not going to Templars, okay?” She finally snapped at him during a long meeting. 

“I am merely saying they could suppress the magic of—“ 

“Oh, I am _well aware _of their ability to suppress magic, Commander. I grew up near Kirkwall. Fuck the Templars.”__

Cullen’s mouth flapped open like a fish’s for a moment or two before he took a deep breath and sighed. _He knows when to retreat from a fight, so there’s that,_ she thought.

=========================

She brought Cassandra and Bull to Redcliffe Castle to meet with Alexius. Bull grumbled about trusting the ‘Vint and the magic clearly made him uncomfortable, but he was her bodyguard and that was his job. She grew up around magic, but even she was unprepared for a glimpse into the future should she fail. The readiness with which her companions gave their lives in the hope that she would undo the horrors unleashed upon the world by this “Elder One” was terrifying. 

“We are dead already.” Cassandra had said. 

But Bull. Before he walked out to fight he looked at her and held her chin gently, running his thumb across her lips. Her knees felt weak. 

“Maybe, in another life,” he smiled and walked out the door. She could hear his battle cry from outside the door. When they flew open she half expected him to walk through. But his body was flung to the ground as demons swarmed Leliana. Athena screamed, Dorian grabbed her arm and pulled her through the vortex. And then suddenly she was in Redcliffe Castle and Bull and Cassandra were alive. Her head felt foggy. 

=======================

_Leliana,_

_The Herald has secured mages for the Inquisition. Despite my protests, she allowed them to join as allies. I suggest you inform Cullen so that he is not surprised by the news. The Tevinter Mage has related some of this future he and the Herald witnessed. Empress Celine was murdered and this “Elder One” led an army of demons across Thedas. We must look into these allegations._

_This ordeal has clearly drained the Herald. She has not spoken of what she witnessed, but continues to observe both myself and The Iron Bull when we make camp. The Tevinter Magister Alexius surrendered without protest and will arrive with us within two days._

_Maker watch over us all,_

_Cassandra_


	5. Chapter 5

Her first night back in Haven Athena got drunk. Good and proper drunk. She was joined by Dorian, Sera, and Varric. Sera had already fallen asleep under the table while Varric nursed his second mug of ale. Dorian complained bitterly about the lack of good wine and promised Athena he would secure a decent bottle of something to celebrate closing the breach, which he assured her would happen soon and they could all put this ugly matter behind them. 

“Maybe some Antivan Brandy,” he mused aloud. 

The tavern was quiet yet she still did not hear the door open nor any footsteps behind her. But she suddenly felt the bench next to her shift as Bull sat down. 

“So,” he started, “that Tevinter Magister sent you into the future.” 

“I saw what is at stake if we fail.” She spoke quietly into her glass. “And now mages are arriving in droves from all over and Cullen and Vivienne both lectured me on my decision, that I've made a huge mistake. Cullen said we should parlay with the Templars,” she made a face, “no way.” Bull let her talk, slowly sipping his ale and refilled her glass. “But there are children, elderly, I cannot abandon those who need protection. Isn’t that what this Inquisition is about? But I'm being asked to decide and then told those decisions are wrong.” 

_When had Dorian and Varric left?_

“And yet in the future I saw people give their lives so willingly because I said I could change it.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I saw you die.” 

“But here I am,” he said gently. “You kept your word.” 

“But how am I supposed to fight magic so strong it can alter time? Or tear a hole in the sky?” 

“Time magic,” he grumbled. Magic really did make him uncomfortable. 

“Don't worry, I’ll protect you.” She smiled and wiped the tears from her eyes. 

“I don't know,” he smiled. “My axe has blood grooves.” Athena laughed and leaned her head against his large shoulder. It felt softer than she had imagined, and she wondered what his lips tasted like. She closed her eyes. 

“Come on, Boss. Let's get you to bed.” And he gently lifted her up as if she weighed nothing and carried her back to her tent. 

======================

They all traveled south towards the Fallow Mire, but it was slow going as they trudged through the southern forests of the Hinterlands. They were a day’s ride from the last Inquisition campsite when dusk arrived and Cassandra suggested they stop for the night. 

Within a few minutes Bull and Blackwall had set up their tents and were arranging the campfire to cook dinner. Bull carried a set of cooking knives he kept carefully wrapped in a leather case and immediately began skinning a large ram they had caught that day. After a few days of her cajoling he began to allow Sera to use one of the smaller paring knives to peel potatoes or chop vegetables. Athena had been helping Dorian with his tent for the better part of a week but he finally seemed to have hang of it. 

“Why can't we just stay at an inn?” he whined over supper that evening. 

Bull shook his head. “Too dangerous.” 

“I agree,” Cassandra added. 

“How would sleeping in a proper bed be too dangerous?” 

“Aww come on, Sparkles, it builds character!” 

“Too many people to see us, they'd know where we were going, where we were sleeping. Frankly, I'd rather avoid an assassination attempt altogether.” 

Athena looked up, bewildered. “Assassination? Who would they want to…” She quieted as realization clicked in. She was not used to this Herald business. 

“Fasta vas,” Dorian grumbled. “Well when you put it that way...” 

They ate the rest of the meal in relative silence. Athena's appetite disappeared. She looked over to the dense forest to the west and wondered if she could get lost. Not forever, just a few hours. She used to wander the woods in the Free Marches. Foraging herbs, mushrooms, and sometimes fruit. 

“It is getting dark,” Cassandra observed. “I shall take first watch.” 

They agreed on the order for watch and dispersed to their tents. Athena tossed and turned on her bedroll. Giving up on sleep, she stuck her head out of the tent. Cassandra sat by the fire, answering letters from everyone back at Haven. Athena grabbed Shrokakar's dagger and slid it into her boot. She snuck away from the campsite as silently as she could. 

The woods were dense and filled with lightning bugs and a thick, heavy silence that simultaneously soothed and unnerved her. Her eyes quickly adjusted to the dim light and she spied a collection of deep mushrooms near a rotted log and began filling a pouch she kept tied to her belt. She walked on, pulling mushrooms and cutting rashvine. She longed for a garden. To smell damp soil and the spicy tang of elfroot. To be able to cultivate rarer specimens for potions and poultices, like her father had done in her youth. 

She walked and foraged and lost track of time. She soon heard men’s voices off in the distance and glimpsed a fire flickering in a clearing. She could not see the stars, but knew the voices did not belong to Bull, Blackwall, or Varric. She leaned against a large oak tree and listened for a few moments. She peaked out and spied a shield leaning against one of the tents: a sword, surrounded by flames. Templars. 

Her heart hammered as an old hatred spilled out of a wound that had never healed. She wished she had brought her daggers and not just the small knife in her boot. She silently scrambled up the nearest tree and laid down on a branch a good twelve feet in the air. 

From her new vantage point she could get a better picture of the three men. One was older, maybe mid forties, while the other two were likely barely done with their training. Perhaps they were off to Therinfal Redoubt to join Seeker Lucius. She took a deep, cleansing breath. Not all Templars were bad, she reminded herself. It was then that she noticed a fourth person in their entourage. She was small, an elf, likely no more than twenty. Her robes were dirty and torn. There was something about her movements that struck Athena as odd, until the girl turned and revealed the mark on her forehead. 

She was tranquil. 

There were only two tents, which meant that the best case scenario was that someone was sleeping outside by the fire, but given the marks on the girls neck and arms Athena doubted it. She clenched her teeth and let out a low hiss. 

Suddenly she heard a twig snap below her. She looked down. 

“Kafass,” Dorian hissed. 

“What are you doing here!?” Athena whispered. 

“Looking for you, what do you think?” Dorian whispered back. 

“Go away!” 

Dorian crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Not without you.” 

“Shh!” 

“Don't shush me!” Dorian took a step towards her and stepped on another twig. Athena froze. The Templar’s conversation ceased. They heard him. 

“Templars!” Athena mouthed. Dorian froze. “Run!” 

But before he could turn around he was surrounded. 

“Well, now, what have we here?” The older man leered at Dorian, his sword drawn and pointed at his chest. 

“Looks like an apostate, sir.” One of the younger ones answered. 

“That’s an awfully expensive looking outfit for a circle Mage,” the other young man observed, running his hand along Dorian’s arm. The old Templar nodded. 

“That is because I am not some simpering Southern Circle Mage, you oaf,” Dorian responded. Athena held back a scream as the hilt of the old Templar's sword made contact with Dorian’s sternum, knocking the air out of his lungs. “Kafass,” he wheezed. 

“No one asked you, Mage.” 

“Sir, is he speaking Tevene?” 

“I believe he is. Looks like we got ourselves a Magister.” 

Dorian’s eyes flashed with anger. He attempted a mind blast spell which was quickly canceled by one of the Templars. There was a crack as one of the younger men’s fists made contact with his jaw. 

“Pretty boy Magister. I hear Magisters are rich, sir. Maybe his family will pay a ransom for his safe return.” 

“He’s probably a blood Mage, sir. Most all Tevinters are blood mages.” 

“You southerners are so barbaric—“ 

Crack. Dorian’s head snapped forward as the man behind him punched the back of his head. Dorian stumbled for a moment before he regained his footing. 

“No one said you could speak. Mage.” The old man said. He considered for a moment. “We could ransom him, but a rich Magister doesn't just wander the woods of Orlais alone.” 

“Would be worth a try, sir.” 

“But if he is a blood Mage? Can't he control our minds?” 

Dorian made a frustrated noise. Athena calculated how quickly she could take one of the men out. She wasn't sure if she could take on three fully armored Templars with her bare hands, but she couldn't wait much longer. She didn't know Dorian well, but she knew he was bound to say something that could get him killed. 

“Well, we know what the punishment is for blood magic, don't we.” The old man mused. 

“And he is awfully pretty,” the second Templar prodded. 

“If his family won't pay…” the third one added.

“Forget the family,” the older man waved his hand. The other two suddenly grabbed Dorian at each arm. “I know where we will fetch a good price for him.” 

“You will do no such thing! I am a Magister and I am not traveling alone!! My bodyguards will be here any minute.” Despite his fear Dorian managed to keep his chin aloft. 

The old Templar laughed. “Too late for you, Magister.” He turned and shouted behind him. “Bring me the brand!” 

_No, oh no. ___

Dorian’s eyes went wide and the color drained from his cheeks. He began to fight against the men who held him. 

____

“No, you cannot, you have no authority—“ 

____

She put two fingers in her mouth and whistled as loud as she could. Shrokakar had used it to get the Kith’s attention. Athena just hoped it would bring some of their companions. 

____

All four men looked up at her. 

____

“What are you doing?!?” Dorian demanded. 

____

“Saving your ass, I suppose.” Athena shrugged. 

____

“Maker’s breath, what is that thing!?” One of the younger men shouted. 

____

Athena leaped off the branch and tackled one of the young Templars. She felt several ribs crack as she came into contact with his plate mail. He had the good sense to release Dorian, who swung around and punched the other Templar in the temple. Athena quickly picked herself up and pulled Dorian behind her. 

____

“Is this your bodyguard?” The old Templar sneered, “or your whore?” 

____

She stood facing those three men and suddenly felt an old hatred rise to the surface. 

____

“Here's the deal,” she started, and then spat some blood. _That's not good_. “You are going to let the three of us go, and no one gets hurt.” 

____

“Three?” Dorian and the young Templar asked simultaneously. 

____

“Me, my friend here, and that Tranquil you've been abusing.” 

____

The old Templar glared at her. 

____

“Or, we brand him, and sell you both?” He stepped close to Athena, pressing his armored chest against hers. “Don't worry, love. You'll fetch a good price. You aren't half bad for an ox girl, and I'll make sure you are plenty broken in by the time we ship you off.” 

____

Athena went for her dagger but he grabbed her wrist and squeezed, hard. She gasped in pain and the mark suddenly flared. He glared at her. 

____

“What kind of magic is this?!” He demanded. Athena answered him with a head butt. 

____

He staggered back and she dropped down and swung her leg under him. He tripped and fell back into the two other men. 

____

She jumped up, suddenly woozy. 

____

“Run!” She pushed Dorian. She took a breath and felt like her chest was on fire. She coughed and blood splattered the ground. She turned and saw the tranquil elf standing, silently, holding the brand. Following orders. 

____

 

____

They stumbled forward a few steps. She could hear the heavy footsteps close behind her. 

____

“Whatever happens, don't stop.” She whispered. She felt two strong hands on her shoulders and the sting of a blade against her back. They forced her to her knees. This was it. She felt a blade against her neck. 

____

“I told you I wanted to break you in.” A hand traveled down her shirt and squeezed her breast. 

____

“I wouldn't do that,” Dorian warned. 

____

“What will you do, Mage?” 

____

An arrow flew past her ear and sank into a nearby tree. 

____

“Wrong answer,” Varric’s voice filled Athena with hope. 

____

“What in the—“ 

____

But all words were lost as Blackwall, Bull, and Cassandra charged in. Athena heard the sound of arrows and Sera’s curses. Soon Solas’ cool hands were gently probing her side. 

____

“Ow.” 

____

Solas frowned. He looked over at Blackwall and Bull, who were helping Cassandra bind the hands and feet of the now unconscious Templars. “I will need my supplies from the camp and the Herald cannot walk with broken ribs.” 

____

“I got her.” Bull volunteered. 

____

Cassandra shook her head. “You need to help carry these…these…” 

____

“Pieces of nug shit?” Varric offered. 

____

“Arse wipes?” Sera added. 

____

“…men, back to camp.” 

____

“I'll take her,” Blackwall knelt down and smiled gently at her. “Come, child.” He lifted her gently off the ground and walked back to the road. She had not travelled too far from the campsite, maybe half a mile. He did not complain once. 

____

The stars overhead were beginning to fade as she sat by the campfire. Solas and Vivenne busied themselves with making bandages and healing her wounds. Dorian warmed some wine and handed her a mug. 

____

“How are you doing?” She asked. 

____

“I—I will admit that there was a moment where I was more terrified than I have ever been in my life.” 

____

“Why did you follow me?” 

____

He shrugged. “I worried you might run away. And frankly, I don't believe our companions trust me the way you do.” 

____

“Aww, Dorian, you'd miss me?” She punched his shoulder playfully. He studied his mug. 

____

“I don't have many friends. I would hate to lose one so quickly.” 

____

“I appreciate your loyalty, Dorian.” 

____

“Even if I almost got us both killed. Kafass, this is why I hate the wilderness.” 

____

Bull dropped two of the Templars near the fire. Cassandra dragged the third man. Varric walked the elven Tranquil and sat her down by the fire. 

____

Bull knelt by Athena. “How are you doing, Boss?” 

____

“I'm okay.” 

____

“She is decidedly NOT alright,” Vivienne scowled at Athena as she helped lift her shirt over her head. Her torso was covered in bruises. Bull let out a low whistle at the site of her injury. 

____

“The nature of her injuries are consistent with high speed contact against a hard surface. In this context it would be the result of her fall onto the plate armor, which was an ill advised method of breaking one's fall. A compound of royal elfroot and rashvine would be most effective in combating swelling and bruising.” 

____

They all looked over at the Tranquil. 

____

“You are correct, my dear,” Vivienne stood. “Would you kindly examine the patient for me?” 

____

The Tranquil walked over and began to gently prod Athena’s left side. 

____

“You will likely experience some pain as I make contact with your injuries.” 

____

“Thanks for the warning.” 

____

They sat quietly, watching the girl assess Athena. 

____

“She does have a point, Boss.” 

____

“What?” 

____

“Leaping ten feet out of a tree onto a man in full plate armor is pretty ill advised.” 

____

Varric and Sera sniggered. 

____

“Laugh it up, I had limited options.” 

____

“Which you had only because you snuck off.” 

____

“I just wanted to go for a walk.” 

____

“You can't do that, not alone.” 

____

“I wasn’t alone. Dorian came with me.” 

____

Cassandra groaned. Varric chuckled. 

____

“Yeah, and how'd that work out for you, Boss?” 

____

Solas handed the Tranquil a paste and she began to slather it across Athena’s ribs. One of the Templars stirred. 

____

“He was worried about you, weren't you, big guy,” Sera winked at Athena. 

____

“Of course I was, it's my job to protect her.” 

____

The Tranquil began to wrap a heavy bandage around Athena's waist. 

____

“I don't know, Tiny, you seemed real freaked out when we found her tent was empty.” 

____

Athena felt her cheeks grow hot. 

____

Bull squeezed her knee. 

____

“You guys got me. I don't want my employer to end up dead.” 

____

“Sure that’s all it is.” Sera made a gesture with her hand and tongue that Athena didn't understand. 

____

“Must you be so vulgar!?” Vivienne complained. 

____

“Bite me.” 

____

“Come on, Sera, that's enough. Let's try to get some shut-eye before the sun comes up.” Blackwall grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away. 

____

“Lovely young lady. I do wonder about your choice of friends, my dear.” 

____

“Not now, Vivienne, please.” 

____

Vivienne huffed a bit but quieted. She offered a hand to the Tranquil. “Come my dear. Let us get you cleaned up. I am sure we can find something more suitable for you to wear.” 

____

They went off into Vivienne's tent. 

____

Dorian shuddered. 

____

“Does the Tranquil make you uncomfortable, Dorian?” Cassandra was securing a note to a raven. Her face was shadowed by the flickering firelight. 

____

“Is that so strange?” 

____

“Not at all.” 

____

“What will become of her, Seeker?” Solas asked. 

____

“She'll come back with us, of course.” Athena blurted. She blushed as she felt all eyes on her. “I mean, we have to, who is going to take care of her?” 

____

“I suppose she will travel back to Haven with us, Solas.” Cassandra smiled. 

____

Dorian yawned. “I am afraid all this excitement has worn me out. Wake me for lunch. And do try not to run off again.” 

____

Athena grabbed his hand as he walked past. “Thank you, Dorian, for following. You know I was not going to let them make—let them do that to you.” 

____

“Venhedis, woman, I despise sentiment,” he complained, but his eyes betrayed his affection. 

____

“Yeah, well considering how it went maybe you two shouldn't wander off together without extra muscle.” Bull counseled. 

____

“Or a small army,” Varric added. 

____

Dorian, Solas, and Cassandra went to their tents. Athena stifled a yawn. 

____

“Bedtime, Boss. Varric and I got watch.” He offered her his hands and helped her stand. 

____

“What are we doing with them?” Athena gestured at the semi-conscious Templars. 

____

Bull shrugged. “They'll be Cullen’s problem. Gonna have scouts here in the morning to haul them out.” 

____

“Good. If they stayed much longer I'd probably kill them myself.” 

____

“Ditto.” 

____

She looked up at Bull and was suddenly aware they were holding hands. She felt her face get hot. Varric coughed softly. 

____

“Should I leave?” 

____

Bull ignored him. 

____

“They wanted to hurt you. No one does that. Not ever. Just, don't run off like that again, okay?” 

____

“I didn't run off—“ 

____

He placed one finger on her mouth. Athena’s heart started pounding . “Things are different now, _Herald_. You gotta adjust. Now, go to sleep.” 

____

He helped her into her tent and walked back to the fire. Soon, despite the pain, she fell asleep. 

____

 

____

The next morning the Templars were gone. Bull and Cassandra had left as well to provide extra insurance. 

____

“One of the young men made a colorful statement about you and Bull seemed to take it personally.” Dorian sniggered. 

____

“He also broke that stick of theirs' over his knee. Ooh their faces,” Sera cackled. 

____

“I thought you didn't like mages,” Athena nudged Sera in the ribs. 

____

“I don't. Also don't like arseholes who take advantage of those who can't defend themselves. Red Jenny, remember?” She pointed at herself. “Besides, Dorian is good people.” 

____

“Am I?” 

____

Sera shrugged. “You want to help, and it was you that followed our Herald into the woods to keep her safe.” 

____

“So Bull broke the brand?” 

____

Sera nodded. Dorian sighed. 

____

“You know, I feel a bit safer with one less of those in this world.” 

____

Solas examined Athena's ribs while she ate. Blackwall joined them by the fire. 

____

“Feeling better, I hope?” 

____

She nodded. 

____

“Good. When we get back to Haven I want to work with you.” 

____

“Oh?” 

____

“You have a lot of potential, but your technique is all over the place. You are strong, fast, and good with knives and daggers. But you are reckless and overestimate your strength and stamina. I don't think it would hurt to learn some proper sword work, and maybe improve your agility.” 

____

Athena groaned. “Fine. But it seems to work. I'm not dead yet.” 

____

“Humor an old man. Besides, if you like to climb so much, I can work with that.” 

____

Athena perked up. Haven might not be so bad after all. But they would need to wait for Bull and Cassandra to return before they continued South. But from that day on, Athena and Dorian were nearly inseparable.

____


	6. Chapter 6

_Leliana,_

_I'm not sure what you want to know in these reports so I stole some of Harding’s to get a sense. So that’s why they’re late. She, Cassandra, and Varric have been sent back to Haven with the Inquisition soldiers we rescued from the Avaar. I’m glad to have good news to share. I did have to fight an Avaar chief and as such we may have some diplomatic issues to address, but I'm sure that Josephine can manage._

_I am pretty sure we have gotten everything out of this swamp that we could. Dorian has caught a cold and has been miserable. I don't blame him, who likes being damp all the time?_

_Cullen reported that we may be ready to attempt to seal the breach. We will be back in a few days time and can look into it further._

_Also, thank you for your concern, but I am healed. Having several Mages in my company does have its perks. I am also glad to hear that Vivienne and the Tranquil we picked up a few weeks ago made it back safely._

_Adaar_

 

Athena attached her letter to the raven and it flew off. Blackwall had managed to keep the fire going without Dorian’s help. The mage was sitting with a blanket over his head and sniffling. Bull was stirring the stew and by the aroma it was ready. Sera and Blackwall returned with firewood. 

“Right,” Sera announced, “I'm starving.” 

“Sera,” Blackwall tsked, “the point of kindling is that the wood is dry.” 

Sera blew a raspberry at him. 

“It's ready.” Bull announced, ladling the thick brown stew into dented bowls. 

They ate quietly, and soon after dinner Dorian retired to his tent. Sera sat with Blackwall as he fixed a new handle onto her bow. Athena watched them quietly from across the fire. Suddenly she noticed she was no longer being rained on. She looked up to see Bull had strung a tarp over her, blocking the rain and keeping some of the fire’s warmth close by. They had spent the past few nights talking. He answered her questions patiently and she learned more about the world her parents left behind. 

“So how did you get the name, Iron Bull?” 

“I picked it. You know how it is, even growing up Tal Vashoth your parents had to tell you about some of it, right? No names. I figured your parents chose yours the same way. Nice going on Adaar, by the way. Weapon. I like that.” 

“I picked it when I joined up with the Valo-Klas, I was angry. Shrokakar had trained me with knives and daggers, forging me into a weapon. I was young.” 

“You're still young,” Bull looked ahead. He sat to her right and she could not read his expression. It was easier when she looked into his good eye. She figured it was deliberate on his part but she was unsure of his reasoning. 

“I guess so, I joined young. Not by choice. Shokrakar kept me training for a few years. I think she felt responsible for me. She knew my father.” Bull said nothing. “He was a Mage—an apostate. We traveled around the Free Marches. He was a healer. He was such a gentle man. We traveled with the Valo-Klas for a few years off and on. My father would tend to the wounded and in exchange I was trained and we were both protected. He didn't want me to fight.” 

“He gave you those books you carry around.” 

“Not all of them, but yes. He would buy them from traveling merchants and carry them himself. I think he hoped I would go into something safer than being a hired thug. But people see us, and they don't see a girl who likes books and history and romance. There are few here who know what it means to be Qunari.” 

“You’re not Qunari, you’re Vasoth, a world of difference.” 

“I still grew up looking like this in a world of mostly humans.” Athena shot back, stung by his words. 

“Yeah, fair enough,” he conceded. 

“I think he got tired of watching me get harassed by the other children in the markets as we traveled. So we settled down eventually. Humans who were desperate came to him for help, and then kept coming because he was gifted. After I lost him, Shokrakar took me in, trained me, and eventually allowed me to fight with the rest of the Valo-Klas. I think she was sweet on Papa, she was as blood thirsty as I was after he got killed.” 

Bull turned and studied her face. Again, she felt the urge to touch him and wondered when her infatuation with him would pass. Then she remembered he was Ben-Hassrath and her heart sank. 

“Are you reporting back all of this?” 

“What?” 

“The Ben-Hassrath, they want to know everything about the Inquisition, about me. How much gets reported back?” 

Bull put his bowl down and turned to her. “Okay, say it.” 

Athena’s temper flared. “Say what?!” 

“Say you don’t trust me.” 

“That’s not—I—it’s just…complicated. My history with the Ben-Hassrath is not pretty. I don’t NOT trust you.” 

It was Bull’s turn to look surprised. “You have a history with the Ben-Hassrath?” 

“Uh, yeah, maybe don’t put that in your reports.” 

“Look, Boss, if you want to see my reports before I send them out, I’d—“ 

Athena held up her hand and cut him off. “No, Bull. I need to work on trusting you more fully. If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t fight by your side. But the Beh-Hassrath thing just makes me a little…twitchy. I’m working on it. Just give me some time.” She smiled weakly. 

“Sure thing, Boss, take as much time as you need. I don’t mind waiting.” 

===================

Upon their return from the Fallow Mire Athena spent hours in consultation with Solas, Cullen, Cassandra and other advisors. Athena also invited Vivienne and Grand Enchanter Fiona to discuss the mages’ readiness. Athena was glad to hear there had been no incidents with the mages, and some of the Templars who had joined were helping as best they could. Everyone was in agreement that theoretically she could seal the breach with enough magic. Provided it didn't kill her. Or make things worse. Sick of debating, Athena announced she would take a team up with the mages and make a go of it. 

So she found herself in the tavern that evening toasting everyone who has fought. Cassandra joined for a time and Varric tried to teach the both of them Wicked Grace. Sera and Blackwall were leading the bar in some Orlesian folk song. Dorian’s cold had improved and he had insisted that a “strict diet of wine and brandy” would improve his health further. Cullen even joined and had an ale with some of the soldiers. The atmosphere was festive but tense. Everyone knew what was at stake. 

After a while Athena couldn't take the noise and the heat. She walked along the barracks to where the Chargers were camped. They were drinking around a fire but Bull was not with them. He was not at the blacksmith or herbalist’s cabin. Athena even checked the Chantry. Then, in the distance she saw him walking out of a tent that wasn't his. 

She couldn't describe the feeling. The pain was worse than any blade that had ever cut her. She felt jealous, possessive, enraged…crazy. He didn't belong to her. She was unsure of what she even wanted from him. If she wanted him. But there was a very real part of her that had wanted Bull to want her on tonight of all nights. 

She had overheard the chattering of the healers and other serving girls around Haven. Doing their part for diplomatic relations. She wanted to cry. On any other night she would have retreated to her tent and buried the feeling like so many times before. But there was nothing like a huge hole in the sky to make one live for the moment. So she followed him back to his tent. He was sitting stoking the fire outside of it when she sat down across from him. “Can I ask you something?” 

“Why, you writing a book?” 

She scowled at him. She hadn't seen him in a bad mood before. He started unbuckling the straps to his ankle brace. 

She took a breath and asked,“I’ve heard there’s no marriage among the Qunari?” 

His eyes snapped up at her and for a moment she saw, was it guilt? And then it was gone, his face a mask of amiable neutrality. 

“Yeah, that’s true. Qunari love our friends just like anyone does. We just don't have sex with them.” 

“Qunari don't have sex?” Her lip quirked slightly. Bull laughed. 

“Oh, we definitely have sex. There are Tamassarans who’ll pop you’re cork whenever you need it.” 

“Seriously?” 

“Yes. It’s not as big a deal as it is here. It’s like…I don’t know…going to see a healer. Sometimes it's this long, involved thing that takes all day and leaves you walking funny. Other times you’re in and out in five minutes,” he snapped his fingers. “‘Thank you, see you next week.’” 

Athena pushed on, watching as Bull unbuckled the weapon's harness on his shoulder. “So you've never really made love, connected with someone in body and soul.” 

“I don’t know. One time they used this thing call a Sato-nerapan. It’s a leather wrapped rod on a harness. That wasn’t really my soul, though. Also there were more than two people” 

Athena bit her lip and flushed. She must look so foolish, twenty-four and hardly been kissed. She didn't count the time Kaaris got drunk, recited a sonnet she had “inspired” and kissed her on the mouth without her permission. She had been saved the issue of punching him in the face by Shokrakar, who knocked him out cold. Here was this Qunari spy who had lived, loved, and lost for years. Why would he want her? Why had she come? 

Bull leaned towards her, he smelled of musk, leather, and sweat. “Do you _connect body and soul_?” He fixed her with his good eye and she looked up at him and then looked over into the fire. 

“I don't know.” She felt heat creeping across her body and found herself fiddling with one of her daggers to distract herself from the half naked man inches from her. “I think it's possible…to connect…like that.” 

“You've never had a lover.” Bull stated this as fact, not a question. He sounded surprised, and Athena was grateful for that at least. She nodded her head, slightly, in the affirmative. 

Bull stood her up and held her chin so they looked into each other's eyes just as he had in Redcliffe in that terrible future they were trying to prevent. And then he ran his calloused thumb across her lips. Athena closed her eyes, her heart pounding. She felt Bull’s hands, rough from work but still so tender, cup her face. Athena looked up at him. She wanted so much from him in that moment and did not know how to ask. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to hers. He pulled away slowly and smiled. Athena's face was flushed. 

“For good luck tomorrow.” He said. And went into his tent.


	7. Chapter 7

They did it. They sealed the breach. 

The celebration was in full swing by the time she came down the mountain. Music was playing and the Charges had again opened up the casks of ale with axes. Athena stood with Cassandra and scanned the crowd for Bull. She wondered what would happen now. She still needed to close rifts that had opened up across Thedas, but she did not know if her companions would stick around. She wondered if Bull would stay now that the threat was gone. Would he stay if she asked? 

And then bells started tolling and she saw firelight flicker in the distance. 

As if moving. 

As if a large number of torches were moving. 

She saw panic grip Cassandra’s face and they both ran down the hill to the gate. Cullen was already down there assembling his soldiers. “Forces approaching, to arms!” 

“Cullen,” Cassandra asked. 

“One watchguard reporting, a massive force. The bulk over the mountain.” 

“Under what banner?” Josephine asked. 

“None.” 

“None?!” Josephine had never met a situation that diplomacy could not solve. 

There was a pounding at the gates. 

A small voice called out “I can't help if you don't let me in!” 

Athena ran and pulled the heavy doors open. By then they had been joined by the rest of her companions, including Iron Bull and his Chargers. 

A Templar stood in front of her, massive in bulk. Cullen moved to stand in from of Athena, his shield drawn, as the hulking man dropped to his knees and fell over. Behind him stood a frail teenage boy, so pale his skin seemed translucent. He held two blades in his hands and he was surrounded by bodies in full Templar plate armor. 

“My name is Cole. I came to help. The Red Templars are coming to hurt you.” He paused. “You probably knew that.” 

“The Templars?” Cullen was outraged. “Is this the Order’s response to our alliance with the mages? Attacking blindly?” 

“The Red Templars went to the Elder one. The Elder One, he is angry,” Cole explained. “You took his mages.” 

Athena followed the pale boy’s fingers and saw a middle aged man in armor, a giant glowing red stone jutting from the breastplate. Behind him stood a creature so malformed it could not be human. 

“Maker’s breath,” Cullen muttered. “I know that man.” 

“Cullen,” Athena turned to her Commander. “Give me a plan, anything.” 

“Haven is no fortress. If we are to survive we must control the battle.” He pointed at the trebuchets. Athena looked to her companions. 

“Vivienne, I need you to help the mages, many of them know little to no battle magic.” 

“Of course” and off she clicked, her staff glowing against the falling snow. Blackwall and Sera were sent to add support to the Inquisition forces. Solas took the strange boy up to the Chantry to help the civilians. 

“Bull, I need you and the Chargers to protect the innocent, if they break through you'll be the only thing between these people and an army of monsters.” He didn't like her orders, he was a front line man, but he nodded and with a whistle from Krem they went back up the hill. 

She didn't have time to wonder if she would see him again. She drew her daggers and raised them over her head. Cassandra, Dorian, and Varric behind her. Cullen shouted orders to his forces. They ran into battle with Cullen’s words ringing in their ears: “With the Herald! For the Inquisition! For your lives!” 

=======================

Athena and Cassandra fought with their backs pressed against one another. Dorian brought lightning down upon the enemy forces and the bolts from Bianca sailed past their ears and found their targets in the endless stream of monsters that at some point were men. Some of them seemed to be made of solid rock. 

“It's red lyrium!!” Varric shouted in horror as Dorian’s barrier shielded them from splinters. Athena finally launched the second trebuchet and the enemy forces were buried. Shouts of joy were soon overcome with screams of terror as a dragon became visible in the distance. Within moments a ball of fire blasted Athena off her feet. 

“Fall back!” She yelled at the soldiers nearby. She made her way back to the gates, where Cullen was impatiently waiving them in. 

Athena caught her breath, her hands on her knees. 

“Cullen, they have a fucking dragon!” 

“The Chantry is the only building that might withstand that thing. At this point,” Cullen sighed, “just make them work for it.” 

As their soldiers retreated back up the hill Athena saw forces overwhelming the fence. She ran off to beat them back. Within moments she heard the roar of the dragon as it soared overhead. And then as if responding, she heard Bull give a war cry and heave his axe through two red Templars. 

“Bull,” she shouted, “the Chantry, get them to the Chantry!” 

“On it, Boss!” 

Cassandra pulled Segrit out of a burning hut while Athena pulled Flissa out of the tavern moments before the roof caved in. Dorian grabbed Minave while Athena and Cassandra helped Adan the alchemist escape the explosive containers. Athena dove in front of a group of mad Templars to save Threnn, earning a knife in the ribs for her efforts. But there were bodies strewn about. Soldiers. Scouts. One of Mother Giselle’s healers. Athena felt a tug on her arm. Dorian was pulling her towards the Chantry. 

As the doors closed behind her Athena looked around in the dim light. Solas and Vivienne were working with other mages and the healers, tending to soldiers. Somewhere in the back of the building she heard whimpering and the frightened whispers of people who had never fought before. Sera had a gash over one eye and Blackwall was staunching the bleeding on a leg wound that looked painful. Dorian went over to cast a healing spell. Cole helped Chancellor Rodrick into a chair. 

Cullen, for the most part, looked like he had made it through the battle unscathed. Athena became aware that her shoulder was burned, and winced as she probed the wound. Cassandra helped remove Athena’s shoulder pad and insisted a healer take a look. Athena waved her off. 

“We need to figure out what we are going to do.” 

“Herald,” Cullen pressed, “our position is not good. That dragon stole back any of the time you might have earned us.” 

“I’ve seen an archdemon before, I was in the Fade, but it looked like that.” The small boy murmured. 

“I don’t care what it looks like, it has cut a path for that army. They’ll kill everyone in Haven!” 

“The Elder One does not care about the village, he only wants the Herald.” 

Athena prodded her shoulder gently, the cut was deep. “If it will save these people, he can have me.” 

“It won’t. He wants to kill you. No one else matters but he’ll kill them anyway. I don’t like him.” 

Cullen looked exasperated. “You don’t like?" He sighed, "Herald, there are no tactics that make this survivable. The only thing that slowed them was the avalanche. We could turn the remaining trebuchets, cause one last avalanche.” 

Athena’s head snapped up. “But we’re overrun, to hit the enemy we’d bury Haven.” 

Cullen sighed, “We’re dying, but we can decide how. Many don’t get that choice.” 

No one spoke for a moment as the reality of their situation sank in. 

“Yes, that could work,” the strange pale boy said to Chancellor Rodrick. Who had said nothing. “Chancellor Roderick can help. He wants to say it before he dies.” 

The Chancellor sat up and coughed. “There is…a path…you wouldn’t know it unless you’d make the summer pilgrimage as I have. The people can escape. She must have shown me. Andraste must have shown me so I could tell you…” he wheezed. 

“What are you on about Roderick?” Athena asked, gently. 

“It was a whim that I walked the path,” he explained, his eyes glassy and staring at the ceiling. “I did not mean to start, it was overgrown. Now, with so many in the conclave dead, to be the only one who remembers…I don’t know, Herald. If this simple memory can save us, this could be more than mere accident. You could be more.” 

Athena cleaned off her daggers and wrapped a quick bandage around her arm and rib cage. “What about it, Cullen, will it work?” 

“Possibly, if he shows us the path. But what of your escape?” 

Athena did not respond. She had no plan of escape. 

“Perhaps you will surprise it, find a way.” Cullen’s voice was soft for a moment. He turned to the people in the Chantry. “Inquisition! Follow Chancellor Roderick through the Chantry. MOVE!” 

Soldiers began helping the injured up and slowly the crowd began to disappear into the Chantry. Several scouts ran outside. Cullen pulled Athena aside. 

“They’ll load the trebuchets. Keep the Elder One’s attention until we are above the treeline. If we are to have a chance--if you are to have a chance. Let that thing hear you.” 

Athena nodded and walked out. 

She brought Bull, Varric, and Cassandra out with her. Blackwall insisted he join but he nearly fainted when he stood up to join her. Dorian’s magic was better used helping the injured escape, though he protested loudly. “I promised I'd protect you!” 

“I need you to help the others make it out alive.” 

Dorian nodded, his eyes tearing. _Well, it was nice having a friend, even if it was just for a few weeks,_ she thought. 

They fought through more Red Templars to get back to the trebuchets. Once they reached and loaded the last trebuchet Athena ordered the three back up towards the Chantry. 

“I’ll wait for the signal and be right behind you,” she assured Varric and Cassandra. “Besides, Cullen won’t leave with everyone unless he sees some of us heading up the mountain, you know that.” 

Cassandra reluctantly agreed, and Varric holstered Bianca as they went back towards the gates. The snow started falling in earnest and Athena could hear the dragon screaming in the distance. The next wave of enemies were still far off. 

Athena looked at Bull. “Go.” 

He shook his head. “I can’t do that, Boss.” 

“It's an order, Bull.” 

He growled. “If that dragon shows up are you gonna to fight it on your own?” 

“Bull,” she softened her voice and stepped close to him. He was damp from sweat and melted snow, and his arm was bleeding from what looked like claw marks. “I don’t plan on fighting this dragon. What I plan to do is to wait for the signal, fire the trebuchets, and run up that mountain pass and join you.” She rested both her palms on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat. 

He brushed a loose strand of hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. “How are you going to outrun a damned avalanche?” 

Athena stood on her toes and kissed him, briefly, on the lips. “For luck,” she smiled. “Now, please, go.” 

He nodded, and walked back towards the gates. Athena stood by the trebuchet and waited. Her shoulder was still bleeding and burned, and she felt tired and bruised all over. She shivered. The snow and blood loss was getting to her. Then she felt a blast of hot air and she was knocked on the ground. In front of her stood a blighted dragon, its whole body warped and twisted. It reeked of rotten flesh and it’s eyes glowed with fire and hatred. And then that creature, the Elder One, walked forward. 

Athena stood and leaned against the trebuchet. _Come on, Cullen._ He was talking about Dumas and the Black City and was he really a Tevinter Magister who walked into the Fade? He told her the mark on her hand was from his orb and she was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

“Story of my life,” Athena muttered. 

And then he tried to remove the mark and she thought her flesh would rip off. She screamed in agony but the mark would not budge. It took all her strength to stand. Her blood had soaked through her undershirt and the snow clung to her eyelashes as she blinked back tears. And then the signal. Flairs from up the mountainside. She straightened herself and smiled. 

“You talk too much.”And she grabbed a sword, cut the rope, and the trebuchets fired. She turned and started to run down a slope when the ground gave way and she fell.


	8. Chapter 8

Cullen had stood vigil, trusting Leliana and the rest of the Herald’s companions to shepherd the refugees to safety. He saw Cassandra and Varric trudging through the snow and looked behind. No one. They were above the tree line and he watched the flares launch. He and Cassandra watched as the trebuchets launched and the mountain fell on Haven, burying it in snow. 

“Andraste preserve me.” Cassandra whispered. “I should not have left her.” 

“In the distance,” Cullen pointed. 

Through the heavy snowfall a large figure came into focus. 

“Bull,” Cassandra called, “Is the Herald with you?” 

He grunted and shook his head. His right hand was holding his left arm, blood seeped through his fingers and he stumbled. Cassandra caught him. “She said she was right behind me,” he gritted his teeth. “Didn’t want to leave…” 

“I know,” Cassandra said. 

“We will keep a lookout for her,” Cullen said, as he supported Bull’s weight and helped him up the mountain pass. “But we need to find shelter from the blizzard.” 

“Have the scouts leave fires so she can follow them. Only thing she’d be able to track in this weather,” Bull muttered, and then he fainted.

==========================================================================

Athena could never remember being so cold. The fall into the underground tunnels had likely broken some of her ribs. _Which had just healed, damnit_. She had difficulty breathing and could no longer move one arm and was quickly losing the feeling in her fingers and feet. She could see her breath and had slipped on the icy floor several times, ripping though the leather of her trousers and cutting one of her knees. She finally left the tunnel only to find herself in the middle of a blizzard. She fell onto all fours and took a few ragged breaths. She wiped her mouth only to notice blood on the back of her hand. She spat into the snow and saw streams of red. Standing slowly she did the only thing she could and walked in the direction that felt uphill. 

She passed several abandoned fire pits and assumed she was walking in the right direction. Her breath was shallow and she was shivering violently. The numbness had spread up her legs and snow clung to her soaked shirt. Her shoulder had stopped bleeding but the metallic taste in her mouth reminded her that she likely had internal damage. She had used the last of her healing potions at the second abandoned fire. She was now at the third, or was it fourth? This one felt as though it was still warm. She took a step and found herself waist deep in snow. A few more steps and she felt the wind cut by the surrounding stone. And there, in the distance, were those fires? She dropped to her knees. _Come on, not now._ But she was dizzy and her breath was shallow. She tried to call out for someone, but she could not muster the strength. 

“There she is!” She heard Cullen’s voice. 

“Thank the Maker,” shouted Cassandra. Athena felt warm hands and what may have been a cloak. 

“She’s freezing,” 

“That’s fresh blood—“  
“We need a healer—“ 

“Let me see her—“ 

“She’s badly injured—“ 

“Bull, your arm, you can’t—“ 

“Like hell I can’t.” 

Athena felt warm arms around her as she was lifted into the air like a child. She leaned her head against his massive chest as he carried her up to the camp. “I told you I’d be right behind.” She said, curling into the warmth of his embrace before falling in unconsciousness.


	9. Chapter 9

She had not had a moment alone with Bull since she awoke. First, she had to prove to both Mother Giselle and Dorian that she was well enough to walk, which took some work. Then she had to meet with Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine and listen to them bickering the next step. Then Solas requested a meeting and basically gave her directions to a huge abandoned fortress in the Frostbacks. During the trek she would often search the camp for Bull but was often unsuccessful. Varric continued to teach Cassandra Wicked Grace and Athena invited herself to the lessons, as she had not had much experience with the game. She also visited with the injured from Haven and thanked them for their service to the Inquisition. Everywhere she walked people asked about her health and requested a blessing.

She began to make a habit of sitting with the strange pale boy—Cole—who arrived before the Red Templars and reading. No one bothered her when he was around. She had begun to believe that Bull was avoiding her by the time they arrived at Skyhold.

And once at the fortress there was work to be done. Josephine and Cullen managed most of the renovation and restoration plans themselves, but Athena was consulted about stones, fabrics, lighting fixtures and other such aspects of the construction. In a quieter moment Cullen proclaimed his assurances that what happened at Haven would not happen again while Josephine was prone to bursting into tears. Athena finally asked Leliana to intervene to give her some space. 

Four weeks after she kissed Bull at Haven, they made her the Inquisitor. She had joked with Bull about her willingness to lead, but that was assuming a group of humans would not make a Qunari the leader of their entire organization. But she would not turn away from her duties now, as overwhelming as they felt. She had barely commanded a squad with the Valo-kas, and here she was with a whole army.

“It was a good speech,” Varric assured her later that night. He was not his usual acerbic self, and Athena wondered if Leliana’s hunch that he could contact Hawke was correct. In which case, yes, there was a very good chance that Cassandra would run him through. “Very inspiring.”

“Really? ‘Cause they handed me a big sword and I kind of blacked out.”

Varric laughed. “Well, the crowd loved you.”

Both Sera and Blackwall had recovered from their injuries. Dorian fussed over Athena, which both irritated and endeared her to the man. Vivienne discussed Skyhold and Athena within the same breath, again using the words “potential” quite frequently. Solas had warmed to her a bit, and told her stories of the Fade and Spirits he knew. It was as if all her friends, for that was what they were becoming quite quickly, filled a part of her that had been empty since she lost her parents. Her father, in particular. For the first time in many years she felt like she had a home. 

She finally found Bull outside a shabby building that would soon be the tavern. Despite Josephine's efforts to concentrate workers elsewhere it seemed as though it would be the first completed project. It will be good for morale, Blackwall had assured Josie on more than one occasion. As had Dorian, Varric, Sera, more than half of the Chargers, and most of the workmen. Bull told Athena he had already claimed a room in the tavern rather than in the barracks with the other soldiers and mercenaries. 

Bull seemed to focus on her new position as Inquisitor in all their conversations. He was eager to impart wisdom on running troops, even dressing her up as a scout so she could mingle with the new recruits one night. While the lessons were not lost on her, she wanted to talk about the events at Haven and after. She wanted to know how he felt about their kiss. 

Dorian and Cassandra had filled her in. Bull had actually been clawed by a Red Templar Behemoth near the end of the fight by the trebuchet and had almost bled out by the time he made it up to the tree line. If there hadn't been any Mage healers he might not have made it. Or, had he survived, he would have been unable to use his arm again.

When he woke up and was told the Herald had not returned he insisted he lead a team of men back down to Haven to dig through the snow and look for her. Cassandra recounted his fervor was “quite romantic.”

When Athena had caught up to the camp she was in bad shape. Cullen and Cassandra found her, and before they could arrange for anyone else to help Bull had lifted her off the ground and carried her back to Dorian’s tent, re-injuring his arm. She had hypothermia and needed her body temperature raised quickly. Bull held her under the furs until she was warm again.

“He seemed quite eager,” Dorian mused, playing with his mustache. Athena blushed.

“I didn't say anything, did I? I’ve been told I talk in my sleep.”

Dorian shook his head and patted her hand. Athena thanked him and was walking out of the room when she heard him chortle, “well, you did murmur his name a few times in your sleep in the most delightful way.”

She ran back to her quarters and hid there for the rest of the day until Leliana came and dragged her downstairs for a meeting at the War Table.

The meetings were always a welcome distraction. There were reports of Venatori activity out west and Red Templars to the south. Redcliffe was demanding reparations from damage caused by Fiona’s mages and Alexius. Athena figured they would not be the last to demand apologies and reparations after being helped. It left a sour taste in her mouth.

“We can't stop both the Venatori and Red Templars on our own. We need Orlesian support,” Athena complained.

“With Empress Celene embroiled in a civil war we cannot expect Orlais to assist,” Cullen observed.

“And we do not have the political clout to be taken seriously by the Empress.” Josephine added.

“Then we get the clout and end the war. I will go to the Dales and see what I can do. Maybe adding an Inquisition presence will stabilize the area and get us the attention we need. Leliana will have her scouts monitor the activity to the south and out west. That also gives time for Varric’s special guest to arrive. But let's try to keep the Champion’s presence here quiet.”

She waved off Josephine’s sputtering. “We all KNOW who it is. Varric can come back early and try to help her maintain a low profile.”

“Hawke keep a low profile?” Cullen laughed. “Not likely.”

So they set off for the Exalted Plains with supplies to last a few weeks of camping. Scout reports claimed the fighting had all but ceased, and that demons and the undead wandered the battlefields.


	10. Chapter 10

It took over two weeks hard riding to reach the Exalted Plains. Once there Athena organized her companions into smaller squads so that they could help establish more of a presence within the area. There were two areas that required forces: a bridge across the Enavuris, and a cave-in along a trade route. Athena dispatched a team to each site to help forces in overseeing the construction while she tackled the more arduous task of dealing with the undead along the front lines of what had been the front lines of the civil war.

After another week of slogging through trenches filled with rotting corpses, demons, and burning pyres that took Dorian a fair amount of magic to dispel, she was ready to head back to Skyhold. They could always return, and with the area more stable the trip may not take as long. The fields lay untended, and, as Solas had pointed out, the winter would be hard without a harvest this autumn.

Athena thought of the Skyhold garden and its potential for growing useful specimens for potions and alchemy. She thought of the drawings of the large bath that Josephine had shown her. She also noticed that the number of ravens that arrived for her and Cassandra and Bull increased by an alarming amount. It was time to go back, at least for the time being. They had dealt with the undead and saved what few forces remained for both Celene and Gaspard. They would likely need to return, perhaps after the winter, to sort out the Freemen of the Dales, who were rumored to be running south and setting up outposts in the Emerald Graves.

It had taken all of her willpower to wait for Bull. Every time he was not a part of her personal entourage he seemed frustrated, but would say nothing. He came back from his time at Ghilan’nain’s Grove referring to Vivienne as “ma’am” and attempting to convince Sera that if he just threw her _over_ their enemies she could generate more mayhem. For once, Sera was the more reasonable part of a conversation about fight tactics. And still he avoided Athena. 

__One evening after supper Athena studied the stack of parchments by the fire. She had become familiar with her advisors handwriting. Cullen's succinct, tightly packed words that grew ragged and sloppy near the end, when he was tired and likely fighting a headache. Josephine's large swooped Gs and Ls to Leliana's neat and efficient script. Bull’s handwriting was like him: clear, efficient and surprisingly neat and pleasing to look at. Varric’s was easy to read but prone to elaborate descriptions. And so on._ _

__Bull had been given his own group of parchments. Glancing at them from a distance she could usually tell if they were Ben-Hassrath reports or notes from Leliana. But sometimes he got other letters, which he would quickly look over before folding carefully and sliding them into his pocket. Most of the Ben-Hassrath reports would go into the fire after he committed them to memory._ _

__Rifling through the notes she noticed an unfamiliar wax seal. She slid her finger under the seal and opened the note._ _

____Adaar,__

_I know you're busy telling the hairy-eyes what to do. Humans need a lot of direction. That's fine._   
_We have a problem._   
_Kaariss took a squad out on a simple caravan escort and hasn't reported back. I sent Ashaad and Ashaad Two to look for him, and they never reported back._   
_I hope you can find them. We're running out of Ashaads. And we only had the one Kaariss, even if he is annoying. His squad's all right, though. I'd really like them back._

_Shokrakar_

__

She read the letter over and over, as if trying to change the words on the page.

“Hey, Boss!” Bull jabbed her shoulder and she looked up.

“I—yes— what?”

“You okay?”

She frowned and looked at the letter.

“A letter from Shrokakar.”

“What news?” Varric asked.

“A squad is missing. _My _squad is missing. Went on a caravan escort and never came back.”__

“That seems odd,” Cassandra said.

“Right? Seems off. And she can’t find them…”

“Seem atypical for them?” Varric asked.

She shook her head. “Kaariss is many things, but he's a decent fighter. And Hissra? She could probably destroy Corypheus in single combat. And Ashaad Two is the best tracker I've ever known…”

Bull looked thoughtful. “Kaariss? Huh, the poet?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“Red told me. He sends you stuff.”

“Occasionally I get a sonnet or two sent my way. It's easier to read then have to listen to him reciting it. ‘Your eyes glimmer with the light of a thousand stars, your lips are as full as a harvest moon, your hair’s as fine as silver thread that's lights my soul afire.’” She made a face, “Maker, it was annoying.”

“He wrote poems about you?”

She shook her head. “Not just me. Hissra and Katoh as well. Though Katoh liked the one he wrote for her. It was just a list of the different ways she had killed people. She kept it.”

“Do you have any of them?” Cassandra asked. Varric and Dorian both looked at her, eyebrows raised.

“Umm, yes. Give me a second.” Athena rummaged through a leather satchel where she kept her parchments, ink, and quills. She pulled out a stack of folded parchments and handed them over to Cassandra, who moved closer to the fire and started reading. Athena looked back at Bull and Varric.

“What?”

“She is like the moon, silent and silver a beauty like no other,” Cassandra read aloud. Varric sniggered.

“Cassandra!” Athena covered her ears.

“This is _so romantic._ ”

Varric snatched a parchment from Cassadra’s hands, “let me see!”

Athena groaned. She looked back at Bull. “ _What_?”

His voice was quiet. “I didn’t know you kept them.”

“Bull, I keep all the letters I get. Call me nostalgic.”

“So there isn’t anything?”

“Between me and Kaariss? No! I’m not saying he’s not interested. One can only write about my _pillowy bosoms_ so many times before you get a sense that he’s looking just a _little too_ closely at them.”  
“He also said they were satiny and life giving,” Varric added.

“Yes, thank you. Very helpful.”

“You know, some of this isn’t half bad,” Varric studied a few more pages. Cassandra was enraptured. “My publisher—“

“Oh, sweet Maker, no! No one needs to publish some fool ranting about my ass.”

“He wrote about her ass? I want to see that one,” Dorian grabbed a parchment from Varric’s hand and began reading.

“I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?” Athena asked no one in particular.

Blackwall laughed, “Just be thankful Sera hasn’t illustrated any of them.”

“Good idea, that,” Sera began to scribble in the margins of one of the poems.

“Then my publisher would _definitely_ be interested.”

Athena grumbled and began to scratch out a note to Leliana about her missing squad. A few moments into it she looked up and noticed Bull poking at the fire with a long stick. “ _What?_ ”

Bull shrugged.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say the Iron Bull is jealous of this poet admirer of yours,” Blackwall observed.

“I would be too,” Dorian replied. “ _To kiss her lips, so sweet and soft, ‘twould be a gift beyond all cost._ ” He feigned a swoon. “I don’t know how you let this one go.”

Bull stood up and walked away.

“Aww, come on Tiny!” Varric shouted after him, “we were only having a bit of fun!”  
“I found the bit about her ass!” Sera shouted.

“Let me see!” Dorian squealed.

Athena finished her letter to Leliana and stuffed her supplies back in her satchel. She threw it back in her tent as she followed Bull. He stood off in the distance, his silhouette visible in the moonlight.

“Bull?”

“Hey, Boss.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…”

“I’m gonna call bullshit on that.”

Bull smiled, “I’m alright.”

She placed a hand against his arm, on the scars he got in Haven. He looked down at her. “My Kith became my family after my father was killed. Kaariss is like a brother to me, and now he’s missing. Can’t I be worried about them?”

“Of course you can. What are you going to do?”

“I will have Leliana look into it. I’m sure she’ll find them. Then I’ll make Cullen punch his way through our enemies to rescue them.”

“If you want, I can have some of my Ben-Hassrath contacts look into it.”

“I…don’t think that would be such a good idea. Shrokakar has a bad history with them, and if Katoh is with her…yeah, that wouldn’t end well for anyone.”

“The commander of the Valo-Kas has a history with the Ben-Hassrath?”

Athena fidgeted with her braid and walked down towards the Evanuris. The moon was full and she could see a small dock not too far off. She took off her boots and dipped her toes in the water. Bull sat down next to her. He pulled out the knife she kept in her boot and studied it.

“This the same one you threw at that ‘Vint when we first met, isn’t it?”

She nodded.

“It's Qunari, made on Par Vollen.”

She nodded again. "It was Shrokakar’s. I…borrowed it. She let me keep it."

“Where did she get it?”

“The water isn’t so cold. Maybe I’ll go swimming.”

“Boss…”

“I haven’t been swimming in ages. The current doesn't look so strong over by those rocks.”

She felt Bull’s eyes on her back. They sat quietly for a few minutes. She untied her braid and began to comb through her hair with her fingers.

“She got it off of a Ben-Hassrath agent, didn’t she?”

Athena nodded, “Shrokakar’s a one-woman army waging a war against the Qunari.”

“Then why haven’t I heard anything about her?”

Athena stood up and walked to the end of the dock. The water swirled underneath, moonlight danced atop the soft rapids.  
“Probably because she doesn’t want you to.”

“If she’s walking around the Free Marches taking out Ben-Hassrath agents we’d know about it.”

Athena turned and smiled at Bull. He stood and held the knife between his hands.

“I don’t doubt that _you_ would have made her in no time.” Bull frowned. She shrugged. “My guess is that they can’t directly connect the disappearances and our movements. She only did it when it was convenient. But she and Hissra would always be on the lookout, just in case.”

Bull put the knife back in her boot. He stood and walked to the end of the dock. They stood, facing each other, not touching.

“You won’t tell, will you?”

Bull’s expression hardened. “She _kills_ agents. Now that I think about it _your_ Kith is probably half the reason why we don’t get any good intel out of Markham and Ostwick. Messages don’t get out. I have a duty to—“

“No, please. Bull, they’ll kill her. She’s careful but she isn’t hard to find. Not if they know who to look for.”

Bull growled.

“The Qun demands—“

Athena scowled at Bull, “That’s the fucking problem. The Qun demands a lot of shit that gets a lot of people hurt. She’s just trying to keep the scales balanced. Your people have a lot of blood on their hands.”

“ _My people_?!” Bull roared. “The commander of _your_ mercenary group runs around the Free Marches murdering Qunari agents and that’s okay?” 

“It's complicated, okay? She doesn’t just kill anyone.”

“I can’t believe I’m hearing you justify this shit.”

“I know it sounds bad, but—“

Bull shook his head and turned to walk away.

“Bull, wait—“ Athena went to grab his hand but he pulled it away, throwing her off balance. She took a step back to catch her footing, only to find air and then water.

Bull’s head snapped back when he heard the splash.

“Boss?!” He called out. He knelt down and looked into the water but saw nothing. “Shit, Athena!” He screamed. He quickly began to unfasten the brace around his ankle.

“What in the void are you two yelling about?” Dorian called from the beach, “I could hear you from the road.”

“No time!” Bull pulled his boots off, unbuckled his harness, and jumped into the water. “Shit, it's cold!!” The water came up to his chest and he took a few steps forward, feeling around in front of him.

“Bull, what are you doing?”

“She fell in.”

“She what? Fasta vaas, Bull. How?”

He waded out towards the end of the dock, the water came up to his neck and the current pulled him against the wooden beams.

“Vashaden, Dorian, can’t you help?”

He heard Dorian’s light footsteps above him and soon the Mage was leaning over the water, holding a makeshift torch.  
“Venhedis, Bull, I don’t see anything. You?”

Bull took a breath and swam under the dock. He groped blindly in the dark water. He resurfaced on the other side of the dock. The current was not so strong that a decent swimmer could make it to shore. He looked up at Dorian and shook his head.

“I don’t feel any rocks or anything she could have hit her head on. So she shouldn’t have just gone under.”

“Unless she got a lungful of water when she fell in.”

Bull’s usually calm demeanor was quickly unraveling as he splashed around in the water. Dorian was running up and down the beach calling her name. Within a few moments he was joined by Blackwall and Sera.

“Maker’s balls, man, get out of the water, you’ll freeze!”

“Can’t. Gotta find her.” He took another deep breath and swam a few feet further. The current was stronger, especially by his feet. If she had been deep enough she could have been swept down river before she could break the surface.

“Find her?!” Sera yelled.

“She fell in, Dorian explained. “I see a boat up there, Sera, come help me untie it.”

“Dorian, I can’t swim!” The young elf cried.

“Come on, Sera.”

Blackwall stood on the dock and fixed Bull with a hard stare.

“Is this your doing, Qunari?”

Bull leaned against a rock under the surface. “My doing? She fell.”

“If we don’t find her we are having words.”

Blackwall surveyed the water. He pulled his boots, shirt, and leather trousers off. Wearing nothing other than his linen breeches he dove into the water and with a few smooth strokes was next to Bull.

“How strong a swimmer are you?” Blackwall asked.

“I’m okay.”

Blackwall shook his head. “Get out. Go 100 feet downriver and wade out. I'll meet you there.”

Bull nodded and swam back to shore. Blackwall swam further down the river, fighting the current. Dorian and Sera had pushed out on the boat. Dorian rowed while Sera looked into the water with his torch. Bull sprinted down the beach, his trousers heavy with water. It had been too long. “If we find you and you come out of this okay, I swear I won’t report anything back to the Ben-Hassrath ever again. Please.” He looked up at the moon which seemed to fill the sky.

He waded back into the water. There was a large rock jutting out in the middle of the river. He was able to grab it and hoist himself up onto the slick black stone. He saw Blackwall diving further up river, while Dorian and Sera called out. Bull looked downriver. The Evanuris widened and slowed down, not far off, but it was too large an area to search, especially at night.

“Come on, come on…” Bull muttered to himself. Then, off in the distance he saw something in the water amongst a tangle of stones and a fallen tree branch. A green light.

“Blackwall!” He yelled.

“I see it!” The Warden called back. And with a few powerful strokes he was at the source of the light. Bull held his breath as he watched Blackwall dive under and resurface, twice. He took a deep breath and went under a third time. The light went out. Dorian rowed the boat over to where Blackwall had last been seen.

“What do you see?” Bull called out.

“Sera, try to push this branch out of the way with me on the count of three. One, two, three.”

They shoved and a large branch slipped off a rock and floated down river, a large amount of debris followed. Blackwall resurfaced, coughing.

“Dorian, here!” He called. He held something in his arms.

Blackwall grabbed a hold of the boat, but it was too small to fit another person.

“Start rowing!” Bull yelled.

“Vishante Kafaas, what do you think I’m doing?” Dorian yelled back.

Bull slid off the rock and swam upstream. “Not fast enough! Sera toss me that rope.” She tossed it towards him.

Bull grabbed the rope and wrapped it around his hand. It took all his strength to pull them across the river and back onto the shore. Blackwall walked out carrying Athena’s lifeless body. He laid her on the sand. She had a gash over one eye and her hair swirled around her like a halo.

“Is she breathing?” Dorian jumped out of the boat. Blackwall shook his head.

“Kafaas.”

Bull pushed Sera and Dorian out of the way and dropped to his knees. He felt her neck, he could not tell, but he thought he felt the slightest hint of a pulse. He tilted her head back, pinched her nose, and put his mouth over hers. He exhaled slowly and watched her chest rise as his breath filled her lungs. He laid one large hand over her chest and pressed down quickly. He counted each thrust and watched her face. He went back to her mouth and then resumed chest compressions.

“Bull,” Blackwall’s voice was soft, “it's too late, she was under for too long.”

“I'm not giving up on her,” Bull grunted. He breathed into her mouth again.

Sera dropped to her knees at Athena’s feet. “Come on, you can do it.”

Bull went back to compressions. Suddenly, Athena stirred and coughed. Blackwall rolled her onto her side as she vomited water. She sat up and he clapped her on the back a few times. She spluttered and looked at them, wide eyed.

“Thank the Maker,” Blackwall murmured.

“All right, yeah, Inky?”

Athena nodded and coughed again. She looked at Bull. “I don’t think swimming was such a good idea.”

“What happened?” Dorian asked.

“Current is a lot stronger than it looks. Got wedged between a rock and that branch and hit my head. Woke up and was underwater, panicked and the mark flared. That’s how you found me, isn’t it?” She asked.

Blackwall nodded and shivered. “How about we finish this conversation back at camp near the fire. Before we freeze to death.”

“Sera and I will fetch your things and bring them back to the campsite,” Dorian offered.

“I’ll carry you, if you want, Boss.” Bull offered her his hands. She nodded and he lifted her off the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned against his shoulder. “How's your head?” He asked as he trudged through an overgrown wheat field towards their camp.

“It will be fine. I don’t even know what happened. I am a good swimmer, I swear.” Her voice was hoarse and breathing hurt, she likely still had water in her lungs.

“Undertow. Seen it on Seheron. Deeper water moves faster, sucks you out. Add on a couple of knocks to the chest and head, and you won’t know which way is up. My guess is that by the time you broke the surface you were pinned in. Luckily you didn’t go under for a little while.”

“Thanks to you.”

“Nah, Blackwall gets the credit, that man swims like a fish. Had you out in no time once we spotted you.”

“I’m sorry, Bull.”

He huffed a bit with the incline. “What about?”

“What I asked you to do, it's not fair. It's just—“

“Andraste’s tits, what happened?!” Varric called out.

“Someone decided to go for a swim,” Blackwall trudged past them, his boots in one hand and his shirt slung over his shoulder.

“It was an accident,” she pouted.

“I think she may still have water in her lungs,” Bull mentioned to Solas.

Solas nodded. “Come, sit by the fire.”

Athena sat on a bench near the fire, Bull sat next to her and threw a blanket over her shoulders. He wrapped his arm around her and pressed his forehead against the side of her head.

“Look, Boss, you explain the Ben-Hassrath thing to me,” he whispered, “and maybe I don’t mention it in my reports.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

Dorian walked over and unceremoniously dumped Bull’s harness, boots, and ankle brace at his feet.  
“Yes, well the next time you two argue, just make sure it's not near a blighted river! Maker preserve me, Athena. You will give me a stroke.”

“Better worry you than mourn her, I say.” Blackwall sat across from them, his beard still dripped water. “I’m glad you’re alright, child.”

“Thank you for saving me.”

Varric handed Athena back the stack of poems. “You know, I’m beginning to think we should put bells on you, Violet. You seem to wander off and get into trouble. Don’t lose those. Your mercenary friend may have a future in writing.”

She took the stack of parchments and tucked some errant hair behind her ear. “That is the last thing I need,” she muttered. 

Solas cleaned the wound on her forehead and healed it. “Trouble seems to find you at every turn,” he spoke softly, a gentle chuckle leaving his body.

“Well, if she keeps climbing the battlements at Skyhold we won't need to worry about Corypheus finishing her off,” Blackwall muttered as he wrestled his shirt back on.

Athena stuck her tongue out at Blackwall, and then coughed up more water.

“You will be doing that for a while,” Bull rubbed her back. “You still want to cross the bridge in the morning see why the rest of Celene’s troops went silent?”

She nodded.

“Then you'd better rest up.”


	11. Chapter 11

As they headed back to Skyhold Athena finally arranged for the two of them to be on watch in the middle of the night. The supplies had dwindled and Dorian had run out of wine, which left him grumpy. And when Dorian was grumpy the rest of them soon followed. Solas seemed insistent on talking to Sera in Elvish, while Vivienne decided to help Cassandra cultivate her more “feminine side.” Athena was feeling more sympathetic towards Shrokakar as time ran on. Soon enough Athena was simply ordering everyone to bed in an attempt to keep them from arguing with one another. Finally, she sat across from Bull by the fire.

“You’re doing a good job,” he assured her.

“Really?” Athena asked. “Because it feels like all I’m doing is keeping my own allies from killing one another.”

“Welcome to being a leader.”

“How do you manage the Chargers?"

“Get to know ‘em, know who goes where, does what. Does who. You’re doing that. You’ve already got a good handle on what   
teams work best together."

“Well, this Qunari I know has given me a few pointers.”

Bull smiled. His arm had healed leaving a few horizontal scars. Athena looked into his good eye.

“Are we going to talk about Haven?”

“We can.”

“Really? Because it has been over three months, and we haven’t really talked about it. At all.”

Bull poked at the fire with his blade. “I’m not good at that.”

Athena walked over and sat next to him, running her hand along his scarred arm. “Can we, please?”

He turned to look at her. “You keep your word.”

She looked confused.

He continued, “You said you would outrun the avalanche and be right behind me.”

“I said something along those lines.”

“You did it.”

“Well,” it was Athena’s turn to play with the fire. “technically I didn’t outrun it, I happened to fall into an old tunnel. But yes. If I say I’m going to do something, I try to follow through.”

They sat in silence for a while. Athena studied the stars overhead. It would soon be light and they would be on their way back to Skyhold and she was unsure if Bull would want to talk to her there. “I never thanked you.”

Bull looked over at her. “For what?”

“You carried me to Dorian’s tent. You helped warm me. You were willing to wade through an avalanche to find me. Andraste’s ass, you jumped into the river the other day to pull me out.” She cleared her throat. “I want you to know, when I don’t bring you along it’s because I trust you to handle whatever matters or orders I give. It is not punishment, it is faith.”

Bull leaned close to her. “I know. But sometimes it is because you don’t know what to say to me.” He stood and began to walk toward his tent. Athena said nothing. He was Ben-Hassrath. He would know when she lied.

“Goodnight, Bull.”

“Goodnight, Boss.”

“Bull—“ she called out before she could stop herself. He stopped. “I—I like…talking with you. But we only seem to do it on the road. Could we do it at Skyhold?”

“Sure, Boss, you know where I'll be.” She heard his heavy footsteps and the quiet thwap of his tent flaps closing.  
She sat by the fire and smiled. 

=============================

Skyhold rose above the peaks of the Frostbacks and glittered against the autumn sky. Repairs had been made during their journey and tents stretched out in front of the large gates with refugees, soldiers, and other volunteers. Someone must have sent word ahead, as bells began to chime announcing their arrival.

“Josephine's doing, no doubt.” Cassandra said. She hated pomp and circumstance as much as Athena, if not more.

“She won't do this every time I come back, will she?” Athena looked around at her companions.

Sera, Solas, and Blackwall seemed indifferent. Bull was trying to look extra impressive, an easy feat given the size of the steed Dennet had obtained for him. Dorian and Vivienne looked positively miserable. A month and a half of hard travel on the road had taken its toll on all of them: one can only wash clothes in a river so many times. Cole had disappeared.

“Well,” she looked around at her companions, “shall we give them a show?” Pulling the small dagger out from her boot she sliced at the string she used to bind her hair. It quickly tumbled loose and spilled down her back. Silver in color, it caught the light and looked like molten metal. A gentle breeze, blew it behind her. She looked striking, if nothing else.

“Well done, my dear.” Vivienne murmured. Bull let out a whistle and Blackwall laughed.

Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana stood to meet her out front with an entourage of Inquisition troops and some assembled nobles. As gracefully as she could manage she dismounted and handed her horse over to a stable hand. Her companions followed suit.

“I appreciate the reception, but you need not interrupt your important work on my account.” She was aware of the eyes on her from behind the gilded masks. “However,” she turned to Josephine, “I am sure we have important guests and I would be remiss if I did not welcome them personally.” She smiled as sweetly as she could manage.

Cullen bowed and practically ran back to the barracks where his soldiers were training. Blackwall and Cassandra followed suit. Leliana inclined her head and slipped off, disappearing into the crowd.

“Well, don’t mind me,” Dorian shouldered his pack. “I'm off to bathe. That is something you southerners do, is it not?” And looking as regal as only he could manage, Dorian sauntered off.

“My dear Inquisitor, I do see some friends that I absolutely must go see,” Vivienne murmured and was instantly surrounded by a group of gossipy Orlesians.

Josephine introduced Athena to a line of nobles, mostly Orlesian but some from the Free Marches.

“I have heard you came from the Free Marches, your worship.” One noble tittered.

“That is true.”

“The Inquisitor has been in touch personally with the Prince of Starkhaven to strategize recovery efforts.” Josephine bragged.

“Kirkwall in particular,” Athena added. Her smile began to fade. Something about this noble made her nervous.

“That is kind of you. But how do you think your aide will be received?”

Athena crossed her arms over her chest. “I'd expect with gratitude.”

Josephine cleared her throat.

“Given what your kind did to Kirkwall, what might be your intention with reconstruction?”

She heard Josephine gasp. “My lord—“

Athena held her hand up to cut her off. “ _My kind_?”

The man’s face twisted with hatred. “You people are savages! You would have us all converted to the Qun. You ally with apostates who practice blood magic. I hear you sacrifice children and bathe in their blood!” People gasped in horror at his display. He kept ranting and she stepped away, afraid of what the man might do.

Then from behind another man suddenly lunged, blade in hand, and would have been close enough to catch her except for Bull. Appearing as if by magic, he neutralized the threat and lifted the shouting noble into the air.

“I don't know much about the Free Marches,” he growled, “but here we don't touch ladies without permission. And we certainly do not insult the Inquisitor. Ever. Boss, let me have him. The Chargers need target practice.” The man struggled and whimpered, his legs kicking helplessly in the air.

“I—no—I don't think that will be necessary,” she looked at the frightened man. “This is The Iron Bull, my personal bodyguard. He gets touchy when people are impolite.” Bull growled again and the man actually squeaked in fear. By this point several Inquisition soldiers had arrived.

“Please escort this shitpile off the premises immediately.” Bull said as he dropped him to the ground.

Josephine composed herself, “Bull, please escort the Inquisitor back to her chambers and make sure no one bothers her for the remainder of the afternoon.”

Athena was about to remark that she was perfectly capable of walking up the stairs herself but noticed the gawking nobles and realized that the exchange had been witnessed by everyone. A flush creeped up her neck and she wished she was very small. Bull’s large hand pressed gently into her back and she began to ascend the stairs. She dreaded the long walk towards her new bedroom but the hallway was blessedly empty.

“The spymaster is good.” Bull said. His hand did not leave her back, the pressure soft and insistent. They walked down the hall and then up two flights of stairs. The room was filled with light and sparsely decorated with a bed, sofa, and desk. There was a fireplace and a balcony that overlooked the courtyard and valley beyond. She sat on the couch and soon two Orlesian servants entered the room, startled to see Bull leaning against the window.

“I believe the Inquisitor is in need of lunch and a hot bath.”

“Yes, of course! At once!” They both tittered and ran back down the stairs to fetch hot water. Bull dragged the tub to the window.

Athena was staring vacantly off into space. Bull knelt down in front of her and took her hands.

“I don't know why,” she began, shaking her head. “I used to hear such terrible things from people growing up. Children, adults. Josephine had warned me that there had been rumors. I don't know why I thought it would be different after being made Inquisitor but…” she trailed off.

“I'm sorry.”

Athena looked up at him. “Why? You got him off me before anyone else even realized what had happened. You let me not look like a total fool in front of everyone. You saved my life. Again.”

“I should of anticipated better, he escalated too quickly it must have been a ruse.”

“We can both only do our best, Bull.”

“That’s not good enough…Look, you're probably going to feel shaky for a while. I'd suggest you will a bath, change, and eat something. Then meet with your advisors. This will help you feel more in control. Then you should come to the tavern this evening for drinks. This will remind them that you will not be bullied or controlled by others. It will also help you forget today.”

Athena nodded, grateful for a plan.

Bull continued, “I will talk to Cullen about security and Red and Josie about screening the visitors more carefully.” He fixed her with his good eye. “This was not the first, it will not be the last, but you will survive them all.” 

She nodded. He smiled gently and, somewhat hesitantly, ran his fingers through her hair. He stood up. “See you later, Boss.”

Athena smiled. “You will. I'm buying.”

Bull’s grin widened and he left as servants burst into the room carrying a large basins of steaming water and a platter of petit fours.


	12. Chapter 12

Athena sat in the tub until the water was cold. She changed into a pair of comfortable leather breeches and a heavy wool tunic. Vivienne and Josephine had chosen the fabrics as Athena had no opinion on clothes. She had lived most of her life on the road and clothing needed to be practical and durable. She would have to warm up to the colorful silks and statins that hung in the closet. And dresses. She had never worn a dress in her life. 

The wool was soft and dyed a rich purple to bring out the color of her eyes. Studying herself in the mirror she brushed absently at her hair. She wore it up so often she had forgotten how long it was. She began to pin it back but stopped herself. She was not getting up the next day to travel and fight. She thought of the pretty human girls in the towns outside Kirkwall. They would wear their hair down or in loose plaits that tumbled over one shoulder. Athena attempted to recreate the look and was pleased with her reflection.

Her large almond shaped eyes seemed bigger and the weeks on the road had left a slight flush along her cheeks and nose. Her ebony horns also seemed less prominent. She was never going to be beautiful by human standards, with her grey skin and silver hair, but she didn't look half bad. Maybe Dorian would teach her how to use a khol pencil to line her eyes if she asked.

The meeting in the War Room was brief. Josephine apologized profusely to Athena, while Cullen promised better security and tighter restrictions on who could meet the Inquisitor. After Haven Cullen seemed to take Athena's well-being personally, and Bull’s visit to his office had only increased his fervor. His hands were trembling and he was pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache.

“I believe that we have had enough activity for one day,” Athena finally said as the sunlight disappeared from the large windows. “We can meet again tomorrow morning after breakfast.”

“Of course, Inquisitor.” Cullen and Josephine said simultaneously.

“Inquisitor, if I may,” Leliana said as Cullen and Josephine left the War Room.

“Yes?”  
“You looked marvelous this afternoon, every inch blessed by Andraste herself. Do not let a small minded man take that away.”

“Thank you, Leliana.”

They stood in the silence for a moment before Leliana looked off, a distant expression on her face.

“You remind me of her. The Hero of Ferelden.”

“I—what?”

“She too was kind, quiet, smart, and gentle. She did not recognize her own beauty or the impact she had on others.” Leliana looked wistful. “I remember when she first let her hair down at camp. Alistair literally fell over. Even Sten watched her brush it out. Maybe long hair is a Qunari thing.” She giggled And elbowed Athena gently in the ribs.

Athena blushed. Leliana placed her hand on her shoulder.

“He is still a man, Ben-Hassrath training or no. And you are still a woman. Have a good night, Inquisitor.”  
“Good night, Leliana.” 

===============================

They had named the tavern The Herald’s Rest, and it was filling up as Athena walked in. She greeted some of the newer recruits, thanked them for their service, and introduced them to the soldiers she knew by name. Maryden the bard was playing lively music and the overall atmosphere was jovial. She made her way to the back of the tavern, behind the stairs. There Bull sat on a long bench, leaning against a table which had been on the other side of the room earlier that day.

“Hope you don’t mind, Inquisitor,” Krem called out. “We decided to do a bit of redecorating.” The other Chargers laughed and cheered. Sera was sitting on top of the table, flirting with Skinner.

“Oh my goodness,” Dorian swooped behind Athena, grabbed her hand and spun her around. “Is this statuesque figure in front of me the same woman I watched cleave a man in half just the other day?” He took her hand and kissed the top of it. “You look positively ravishing. That color is just marvelous on you. Wouldn’t you say, Bull?”

Dorian twirled her again and she fell, breathless, into The Iron Bull’s lap. Both hands pressed up against his chest, she looked into his face. He looked at her, his eye following her hair down her shoulder as it rested on her chest. He looked back up at Athena, looking somewhat dazed.

“Bull,” Dorian prodded the large Qunari. “Doesn’t. She. Look. Lovely.” His finger jabbed into Bull’s shoulder with each word. Athena giggled, something she had not done in years, if ever.

Bull looked up, irritated.

“She always looks lovely. Now,” He fixed Athena with a hungry stare, “you promised to buy a round of drinks.”

She stood up. “I did.”

Dorian took her hand. “I know just what we will have. Follow me.” And he pulled her to the bar. Bull never stopped watching.

“Alright, what are we having?” She waved Cabot over.

“Something that will help us forget this terrible afternoon.” Dorian replied. “I believe we will need, 5 bottles of the Guislain Red and one Arbor Vint.” Cabot grumbled and began uncorking bottles. “Have the glasses sent over to our table. Thank you my good man.” And off Dorian sauntered, with four bottles of wine in his hands.

“I—uhh, do I have a tab?” Athena asked Cabot. He shrugged. “I would advise you to talk to Ambassador Montelviet about payment.” He nodded and handed her the last two bottles. Athena made her way back to the table. Blackwall had joined the table with the Chargers, and Varric sat in the corner, looking nervous and drinking a mug of Ferelden ale.

Dorian insisted she have at least one glass of the Vint, which tasted strong and smokey.

“Ooh, this tastes expensive. Josie’s going to kill me,” she whined as Dorian refilled her glass.

“Now my dear, don’t worry about that. You are single handedly saving Thedas. You get to drink whatever you want.”

“And if I do, so do you.”

“That’s my girl, catching on so quickly. I knew I liked you for a reason.”

The evening flew by and soon they were the only ones left in the tavern. Cabot had given up on kicking them out and had simply left a small cask of ale and another bottle of wine on the table and locked the front door. Sera had left with Skinner. Most of the Chargers had fallen asleep in their chairs or had stumbled off to the barracks. Blackwall had excused himself early into the evening as he was running recruits through training in the morning. Dorian had a very eager looking elvish recruit sitting on his lap. Bull was half asleep in a chair and Athena finally decided to give Dorian some privacy.

“Okay, big guy.” She pulled Bull up to standing. “Time for bed.”

“No.” The intensity of his response startled those left in the tavern. He swayed, slightly, but he took a breath and steadied himself.

“I’m sorry?” Athena took a step back.

“No,” Bull said again, shaking his head. “Not like this. Needs to be special. Needs to mean something.”

“Bull?” Athena quickly realized that he was talking to himself. “Bull. You need to go to sleep.”

“Yes, sleep.” He started up the stairs and Athena steadied him as they walked up. “Just sleep. Want to remember it and now’s not a good time.”

“Of course,” Athena agreed.

“S’wat you need…” he mumbled. He opened the door to his room and sat down on the bed. Athena bent down and began to unhook his leg brace. She felt Bull’s hand on her shoulder. “Stop.” He said, quietly.

“Am I hurting you?” She asked. He shook his head.

“I’ve been drinking.”

“Me too.”

Bull shook his head again.

“Can’t trust myself, things I want to do…” he trailed off as his hand brushed her cheek and ran along her hair. Athena felt her heart begin to race.

“It’s okay.”

Bull kissed her on the lips, his fingers wrapping themselves in her hair and pulling her face close. She kissed him back eagerly, and his hand began to travel down her waist. Suddenly, he stopped and pulled his face away from hers.

“No.” He grabbed her shoulders and pushed her away. “Leave. Now.”

Athena nodded and ran out the door, tears stinging her eyes, confused by his rejection. The stars shone in the cloudless sky. She could see her breath and shivered in the cold. It felt refreshing and sobered her up. She could see most of Skyhold from this part of the battlements. The light still glowed from Cullen’s office so he was still working. The barracks were quiet. There was one light coming from the tavern which Athena assumed was from Sera’s room. Someone had left the lights in her room lit. 

And the she noticed one light from what she thought was an abandoned tower still under construction. Curiosity got the better of her and she peered in through one of the open windows. There, sleeping on the floor was Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall. Varric was trying to keep her hidden from everyone. When Josephine found out. When Cassandra found out…

“Oh, Varric.”

Athena understood only too well what it felt like to be on the run, sleeping in barns and abandoned buildings. Judging by Hawke’s appearance, she had been living that way for a while. The only reason that Varric would have allowed her to live like that was if he thought it was safer. And now his hand was forced and he was putting her in danger. Her heart ached as she walked into her chambers and crawled into bed. She didn't bother changing into the nightshirt that was carefully laid on her turned down bed. For the first time in a long, long time, the world seemed a large scary place and she felt so very small.


	13. Chapter 13

She was awoken at dawn by a servant who brought her breakfast on a tray. She had a heavy Ferelden accent and busied herself lighting a fire and drawing the curtains to Athena's room. Athena sipped some tea and nibbled at a biscuit, her head pounding from the night before. She brushed her hair and plaited it so it fell down her back and got dressed. Warmth and practicality trumped fashion, and Athena was not in the mood to deal with any nobles. She guessed Josephine would not push a luncheon or meeting with any visiting dignitaries or nobility for a few days. Not after the crazy Marcher with a dagger. 

She was the first to arrive in the War Room. She spent the time quietly studying the map. Running her fingers over the places she used to live: Ostwick, Wycombe, Starkhaven, Kirkwall…the heavy doors opened and Cullen walked in. His face buried in papers.

“Good morning, Cullen.”

“Inquisitor! Forgive me, I did not notice you.” He was pale and sweating slightly. He had lost weight since Haven.

“Cullen, when did you go to sleep last night? The light from your tower was still on well after two in the morning.”

I…well,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I was working on these reports and lost track of time. And Dorian had mentioned he might stop by..."

Athena took the reports out of his hands and began to look through them as she spoke.

“You are no good to me or the Inquisition if you run yourself into the ground. You need to build in some recreation and exercise. Have Blackwall and Cassandra help with more of the recruits’ training. The Iron Bull can work with the ex-Templars to help with techniques to fight mages with or without the use of Lyrium.”

“I beg your pardon?” Cullen sounded alarmed.

“The Qunari soldiers fight mages with some frequency and they don't require lyrium. Perhaps he could provide some additional training that doesn't require suppressing or dispelling magic.” She looked up. Cullen was clearly shaken. “I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, if I have overstepped I apologize.”

“No, Inquisitor. That is a good suggestion. When you said without lyrium…” He trailed off and rubbed the back of his neck.

Athena shrugged. "That's no one's business. Also, if you want to see Dorian, I suggest joining us in the Tavern. I know he'd enjoy your company.”

Cullen blushed. "Do you think--"

Leliana and Josephine arrived moments later. Athena reviewed the most pressing reports, and dismissed her advisors with specific orders to Cullen to get some fresh air, perhaps take a walk to the garden and sit in the gazebo.  
==================================

It was still early but Varric was at the table by the fireplace, answering letters. Athena sat down across from him.

“When did she get here?”

Varric sighed, pulled off his reading spectacles, and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Maferath’s balls, how did you? Nevermind. Yesterday at sunrise. I was going to tell you but—“

Athena held her hand up to cut him off.

“Look, I know what it feels like to hide, be on the run, to be hunted for what others did or what people think you were a part of. Anders blew up the blighted Chantry and murdered innocents. She made the call when no one else would. She killed Anders, and sided with the mages. And that's the rope they'll hang her with. But not here. She's a damned hero and we will treat her with honor and respect. If people want to come after us for it so be it. And,” she sighed, “we deal with the aftermath when it happens…Cassandra won't be happy, but what can we do? You have my support.”

Varric nodded and stood up. Athena followed him to the abandoned tower where Marianne Hawke was hiding.

The rest of the week was filled with meetings, formal luncheons with visiting nobles, tea with Vivienne and various “dear friends” she wanted to intimidate, and a lot of Cassandra hitting things. She had insisted Athena expel Varric from the Inquisition and Athena flatly refused.

“Varric is no snake,” she said to Cassandra in the training ring. “He is fiercely loyal. That is a quality we do not want to punish.”

Cassandra seemed placated by their talk and sparring, and Athena had a new appreciation for the Seeker’s shield bash. She arranged to meet Hawke in Crestwood, which also seemed to be crawling with the undead. Hawke refused Athena’s offer to have her join their entourage when they left at the end of the week, opting to leave and travel on her own.  
==================================

Early the next morning Athena sat at her desk and studied the stack of parchments left on her desk overnight. The door opened and she heard heavy footsteps climb the stairs. She looked up to see Bull bearing a large tray heavy with food. She broke into a large grin when she saw him. He returned her smile.

“How are you feeling, Boss?”

“I'm okay.” She stood up and poured herself a cup of tea. Bull tipped in a bit of cream and two small cubes of sugar. She smiled up at him as he stirred them together. “Nothing gets past you, does it?” She took a sip.

“Ben-Hassrath training does come in handy. Here, try this.”

He handed her a pastry the size of her palm, it glittered with melted sugar and was still warm. She bit into the flakey crust to discover the middle was almost melted and dissolved in her mouth.

“What is _this_?”

Bull smiled, “I know, right? New pastry chef. She explained it to me. Something about folding butter, sugar, and pastry dough over each other and then baking it in a ring so it gets all creamy in the middle.”

“You had me at butter and sugar.” She took a few more bites and couldn't help but moan. “This is so good.”

“Boss, you have some—“

“What?”

Bull ran his thumb across her lips and brought it to his mouth. Athena felt heat creep up from her chest. He chuckled. “Sugar lips.”

She reached out and touched his face. He ran a hand through her hair.

“Boss…” He whispered.

“I like sugar lips better,” she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself against him.

Bull chuckled softly, and kissed her. Athena responded enthusiastically. She felt one of his hands against her lower back while the other gripped her hair and pulled her close. The hand against her back began to travel up her shirt. Athena moaned and raked her nails against his chest and down his stomach.

They were startled by a soft cough. Athena spun around. Leliana stood at the top of the stairs, unfazed.

“I am sorry to disturb you Inquisitor, but I did not think the news could wait.”

“I'll go,” Bull started toward the stairs, “we'll finish our conversation later, Boss.”

“You should stay, Iron Bull, as this concerns you as well.”

Athena's heart hammered. They wouldn't deny her a relationship with Bull, would they? Or was that the price she had to pay for being Inquisitor? Bull put his hand on Athena's shoulder. Perhaps he worried about the same thing.

“We finally received news about the missing mercenaries from the Valo-Kas.”

“You found them? What kind of mess did Kaariss get himself into this time?”

“It seems that the man responsible for the assassination attempt not too long ago was part of a larger organization. There is a growing group of fanatics who believe that you are an agent from Par Vollen trying to convert the faithful to the Qun.”

“And running around Orlais with a Qunari mercenary probably isn’t helping.” Bull growled.

Leliana shook her head. “Our reports indicate that a group of fanatics have formed a militia along the coast near Val Chevin. It is likely that they have captured your fellow Valo-Kas.”

Athena accepted the letters from Leliana and sat on the couch reading them.

“But why would they hurt my Kith? To get to me? It makes no sense.”

“They aren’t thinking it through, Boss. They probably just saw horns and reacted.”

“So why not come after me?”

“There have been several attempts on your life by this group. All unsuccessful.”

“But they’re alive, right?”

“My scout reports indicate that, yes, the prisoners are alive. For now.”

The parchments crumpled as she made a fist and punched the arm of the couch. “Get Cullen in here. Now.”

“Of course, Inquisitor. Iron Bull, I thought you may want to notify any contacts you have in that area. To warn them.”

“Thanks, Red.”

They sat on the couch in silence after Leliana departed. Part of her wanted to kiss Bull and forget that her squad was trapped in some dank cave surrounded by armed humans who hated them for no reason other than their appearance. But that would not help anything.

Bull munched on a pastry as Athena sipped her tea.

“So, what do you want him to do.”

“Honestly? Kill them all and deliver my squad back to Shrokakar in one piece.”  
“You weren’t kidding about making Cullen punch his way through your enemies.”

She shook her head. “He seems to like doing that. And I figured a bunch of formally trained Inquisition soldiers would destroy an armed but untrained militia.”

“It would.”

Cullen’s heavy footsteps announced his presence. “Inquisitor. Iron Bull.”

“I’m assuming you know about the militia forming on the coast?”

“I am. We have a force ready to mobilize if you—“

Athena stood and walked over to the commander. Cullen was tall by human standards, but Athena was nearly seven feet and as such she towered over most men. She looked down at him and place both hands on his shoulders, gently. Cullen swallowed.  
“I want you to crush them. Make them pay for hurting my people.”

“I—yes, Inquisitor. I understand.” He excused himself and ran down the stairs.

“Don’t you need to warn your people?” She asked. Bull shook his head.

“I’ve been taking precautions. When I heard they were near Val Floret I had my people leave the area. So no one gets in trouble. Figured that was a good compromise.”

“Oh, Bull. I didn’t tell you.”

“No. I thought I wouldn’t push it.”

She sighed. “Long version or short version?”

Bull leaned back on the couch and studied her. He said nothing. He began to peel an orange. Athena raked her hands through her hair and paced in front of the fireplace.

“Shit. Okay. I was little so I don’t remember much of it. Any of it, actually. I just know what I was told. My parents were young when they left the Qun. Eighteen, nineteen. Grew up together. Papa said he had been in love with Mama since they were kids. He told me she was beautiful; all sass and legs and purple eyes—“

“Sounds like someone else I know.”

“Har, har. Anyway. Papa’s magic surfaced very late for a Mage, so he was already pretty far into his training as a healer. Don’t know what Mama was doing. They never told me. They left the Qun because he would have been Sarebas and neither could bear it. Long story short they have me. We’re happy for a while. Then when I’m…I dunno. Five, six? Some elves come knocking at the door. Looking for Papa. But he’s away with the Valo-Kas. Not far. He never traveled more than a few nights journey. Anyway, the next day a bunch of Qunari soldiers show up at our door. My mother tells me to run, so I run. Next thing I know I’m being pulled out of a tree by a bunch of scary looking Antaams. The day after that Papa shows up with Shrokakar and some of the Valo-Kas and take me back. I think they killed the men who took me. I don’t remember. I…didn’t see my mother when I got back home. They wouldn’t let me. Told me she was sleeping. That she wouldn’t wake up. Sata-Kas put new flooring into the kitchen before I was allowed back into the house, but I remember seeing the bloodstained floorboards by the garden. Papa tried to get Shrokakar to take me then but she wouldn’t allow it. Made him promise to raise me right. Got through to him…”

Athena sank down on her bed. She looked at Bull. “When I was older. After…after my father was killed, Shrokakar took me in. I was dead weight—a teenager who would hang out in inns and train on the off days with them. But they were my family. I’ve known most of them my whole life. They never complained about having me around. Took care of me. All of them.”

Bull finished his orange and waited. Athena sighed.

“Turns out, the Ben-Hassrath had sent a special agent after my Papa. Guess he pissed off someone in Par Vollen. Shrokakar said they tried to find out where he was from my mother and she died while being tortured. They were going to take me back to Par Vollen, but that never happened. So Shrokakar makes sure that any Mage hunters and anyone connected with the guy who killed my Mother meet an end. So we just make it a little easier for fleeing Sarebas. That’s it. That is the story.”

They sat quietly for some time. Bull stood and kissed her forehead.

“A deal’s a deal, Boss. The Ben-Hassrath don’t need to know about your connection with any missing agents. But—“

“I’ll tell Shrokakar to back off. She won’t like it. And she won’t like why, but she’ll listen to me.”

“It’s for the best.”

Athena nodded. Anything to keep Shrokakar alive  
=========================

She left Cassandra at Skyhold because she still needed time to cool off from her fight with Varric, and she would not rob him of time with his friend. Additionally, Vivienne remained behind to help coordinate a curriculum for the mages now residing at Skyhold, ideally without the necessity of Templars. And Bull took his Chargers to investigate Therinfal Redoubt. He grumbled at being sent off, but perked up when Athena mentioned the Ferelden Frostback that had taken over a large portion of the Hinterlands.

“I wouldn't dream of fighting a dragon without you,” she promised. “And, maybe you can write me?”

“Krem usually sends Red the reports,” he grumbled.

“She doesn't mean reports, you stupid oaf!” Dorian muttered as he walked by, trying to add another skin of wine to his already overburdened horse.

Athena blushed.

“I—oh. Um, well,” Bull rubbed the back of his neck. Cullen's nervous habit was contagious. “I…could…try.”

“I would like that.” Cassandra had convinced Athena that Bull’s behavior at the tavern had been ‘quite romantic and honorable’ and provided numerous suggestions which gave Athena the distinct impression that Cass had read more than half the romance books in the Skyhold library. “Well,” She smiled, “I will write you. And if you'd like, you can write back.”

He loaded her horse and helped her into the saddle.

“I'll see you in a few weeks, Boss.”

“See you soon, Bull.”


	14. Chapter 14

_Dear Bull,_

_I know you prefer The Iron Bull, but I have made the decision to drop the article in your name. You may like thinking of yourself as a mindless weapon but I know better. Also, I feel like an idiot writing something so formal._

_Crestwood is a mess. We arrived in the middle of the night because a rift had opened in the middle of a lake and was spewing undead. Needles to say, it slowed us down. It was rainy and wet and filled with tons of “reanimated corpses” (that's what Solas calls them). Anyway, we storm a keep filled with bandits (you would have liked that part) and drain the blighted lake to find the old town of Crestwood filled with spirits and demons (you would not have liked that part). Thankfully the weather cleared after we took care of the rift and Dorian finally stopped complaining. For now. I fear the winter will be rough and very cold. I've heard from Josephine that there have been premature frosts out in Orlais. Dorian cannot handle the rain, I cannot imagine him weathering a harsh Southern winter with grace._

_We should be meeting up with Hawke and her Warden contact within the next day. I am going to hope for good news because someone has to. We did some some Grey Wardens while traveling. They were on orders to arrest Hawke’s friend, so that’s going to end well._

_Anyway, I'm rambling. I hope to hear from you soon._

_Adaar // Athena // Inquisitor_

_===========================================================================  
__Hey Boss,__ _

__Not good at this stuff. I only send Ben-Hassrath reports and they are frequently in code. Krem was smart enough to pack extra parchments so thank him when you get back to Skyhold._ _

__We are near Therinfal but are taking the night to rest up before the battle. Glad to have missed the creepy demons in Crestwood, but I've heard there is a dragon there too so don't go fighting it without me._ _

__Okay I got distracted and didn't send this when I started it. We entered Therinfal Redoubt and it was FILLED WITH DAMNED CREEPY DEMONS. I hate demons, Boss, all creepy and malformed and trying to possess you. Not only that but it was an ENVY demon. I didn't know they existed. It kept shape shifting. I'll tell you, it is pretty damned hard to swing an axe at your own head, but I've done it. Though for a minute or two it looked like you and I couldn’t do it. So be careful out there. Don't get possessed or anything because I just learned the hard way that I couldn't cut you down._ _

__If you fight a fucking dragon while I'm chest deep in demons then I'm quitting._ _

__You can drop the “The,” I give you permission._ _

__Bull  
===========================================================================_ _

___Bull,_ _ _

___Won't fight it without you, but it's making a mess of the area, so you may want to make for Caer Bronach from Therinfal. It’s on the way back west._ _ _

___Good to know you won't just lop my head off, but maybe we come up with a code word so you know I'm possessed? That is why my father and I arranged. Shit that happens when you’re father’s a mage._ _ _

___Also, turns out this Corypheus asshole is making Grey Wardens all think they hear the Calling. Blackwall says it doesn't bother him so I guess we are lucky?_ _ _

___While you were out East did you venture into the Brecillian Forrest? It is supposed to be wonderful but given your feeling about spirits I may suggest you avoid it. You know, spirits inhabiting trees and werewolves and all._ _ _

___Athena_ _ _

___=========================================================================  
_Boss,__ _ _

____Spirits can possess TREES? What else do I need to look for? And unless I missed something there shouldn't be any more werewolves around here._ _ _ _

____Bull_ _ _ _

____==========================================================================  
_Bull,__ _ _ _

_____You are right. The Hero cured the werewolves. And Solas tells me that spirits can be BOUND to trees against their will but cannot possess them so don't worry._ _ _ _ _

_____We may need to hold off on the dragon slaying and head out west to deal with Venatori. Killing ‘Vints is almost as good as dragons, right?_ _ _ _ _

_____If you can, meet us in Redcliffe in two weeks. Dorian has a thing we need to deal with before we go out west. Something about a family retainer. Don’t know how this can end well, but they’re not taking him back. I found him, I'm keeping him._ _ _ _ _

_____Athena_ _ _ _ _

_____===========================================================================_ _ _ _ _

______Boss // Athena_ _ _ _ _ _

______On my way. If I have to kill another demon within the next week then you are buying me a bottle of Chasind Sack Mead. Also, Dorian is not a puppy who followed you home. But if he wants to stay, then yes, we fight to keep him.  
See you in Redcliffe._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull_ _ _ _ _ _


	15. Chapter 15

Dorian’s reunion with his father had left everyone in low spirits. It was two days trip to Skyhold to restock before heading out to the Western Approach and no one felt like talking. They rode hard the second day and arrived at Skyhold after dark. The party dispersed silently to their quarters. 

They would be on the road again in three days and would need supplies for a month as winter would be in full effect and slow the trade routes. The fighting in both the Hinterlands and Exalted Plains meant there would be little to harvest and they had to feed an army as well as countless refugees. 

Her days were consumed with meetings in the War Room, avoiding nobles who wanted to meet the “exotic” Inquisitor, and evenings in the tavern trying to keep Dorian from pickling himself. She did manage to find some rare tomes about theoretical applications of spirit magic which seemed to cheer him up and keep him out of the tavern. She even noticed him exchanging books with Cullen over dinner one evening. 

The highlight of her week was stumbling across Cassandra completely enveloped in the most recent chapter of Varric’s book Swords and Shields. Cassandra’s defiant sputtering and desire to know what happens gave Varric and Athena the perfect avenue to at least begin to repair the trust between the Seeker and the Dwarf.

She even managed to squeeze in a game of chess with Cullen, who beat her easily. He had taken her advice to heart and would reserve a few hours every week to play with whomever was willing. Athena mentioned it to Bull and Solas and suddenly Cullen was spending hours in the gazebo. He had gained weight and his hands shook less. Which made more sense when he finally told Athena he no longer used lyrium. The further he strayed from his Templar training and identity the more at ease Athena could be around him. 

And then there was Bull. He made no secret of his interest in her, and she had only become increasingly brazen in her flirting attempts. She, to Vivienne’s delight, picked out shirts that were increasingly revealing, taking special note of colors or styles that peaked his interest. He would rest his hand against her back, or would sometimes play with her braid. Once or twice he tripped her when she was coming back with drinks only to catch her and have her fall into his lap. She even managed not to spill the drinks. 

Bull offered to escort her back to her room one night, and they walked along the ramparts looking at the stars. She pointed out the few constellations she knew, talking rapidly and increasingly aware of how close Bull was to her.

“That one there is Draconis, the dragon. It usually signals winter is close by. I never saw it as well from the Free Marches. How about Nevarra?”

She looked back at Bull, but he was not looking at the sky. He was looking at her. Athena swallowed. Her mouth felt dry.

“Didn’t see much worth looking at in Nevarra.”

“And here?”

Bull stepped close and pressed Athena against the cold stone wall. Her heart hammered. “Here,” he breathed into her ear. “I see a lot of things.” His hands trailed down her back and gripped her hips.

“Would you like to see more?” Her voice was husky and deeper than usual. She felt hot and dizzy. Bull growled and pressed himself against her, answering her question. Emboldened, Athena leaned up and whispered in his ear. “Would you like to come up to my room?”

Bull pulled back and fixed her with a hard stare.“What?”

“My—my room. I thought…” Athena trailed off.

“Tonight?”

“Why not?”

“Boss, it’s not what you need.”

“What I _need_?” Athena shoved him and he stepped back without a struggle. “I’m trying to tell you what I need.”

“Vashedan, don’t be such a child. Sex isn't what you need right now.”

Athena blinked back tears. “How dare you presume to know. Fine, what do you want?”

“I want to give you what you need.” He stepped closer and held her face in his hands. His calloused thumb wiped a tear from her cheek. He then kissed the edges of her eyes, and then kissed down her cheeks, and finally her lips. Athena melted into his embrace, her arms wrapped around his neck. Bull’s hands drifted down her back and gripped her hips as he lifted her in the air. She wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her nails across his shoulders. She kissed his lips and ears and neck and he did the same, his hands trailing her body as if studying her. Slowly he pulled away and lowered her to the ground.

“And what you _need _,” he kissed her gently on the lips, “is to go to sleep.”__

__“But—“ Athena protested, nibbling his lower lip. He was right, she was exhausted. She was both irritated and exhilarated that he could read her so completely._ _

__“There is time enough for that. Trust me. We need more time then we have now.”_ _

__She held his face between her hands and looked him in the eyes. “But, this is. I mean, I…am…something you…want?”_ _

__He smiled. He carried her to her room and stoked the fire before he left her. She was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow._ _

__She awoke to find a letter bearing an unfamiliar wax seal sitting on her desk._ _


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Switching to Bull's POV for this one.

Dorian burst into the Herald’s Rest before supper and stormed over to Bull.

“What have you done with her?”

Bull looked up, confused. “May I help you, Dorian?”

“Andraste preserve me, Bull. Athena, where is she?”

“The Inquisitor hasn’t been here all day. Has she, Krem?”

“No, Chief, not since yesterday.”

“Fasta vaas. Where is she, then?”

Bull shrugged. Dorian began counting on his fingers. “Well, Varric saw her early this morning. Solas said she spoke with him briefly after breakfast. Vivienne said she missed her usual afternoon tea. She didn’t play chess with Cullen after lunch and Blackwall has been walking the battlements convinced she fell since she missed her training with him this morning.”

Bull snapped to attention. “Wait, she missed her training?”

“Did I stutter?”

“Dorian, what time was she supposed to see Blackwall?”

“Eleven, I believe.”

“And no one got me when she didn’t show?”

“Venhedis, Bull, I’m the only one who bothered asking!”

“Cullen—“

Dorian shook his head. “I've been with him all morning. I am telling you. The only people who have seen her are Varric, Solas, and Cassandra. She has not spoken to any of her advisors since their meeting yesterday. I am assuming you have a key to her room? It's locked.”

“It's never locked.”

“So you don't have a key, then.”

Bull stood up and grumbled, “I didn't say _that_.” He fished in his pockets and, satisfied, walked over to the Inquisitor’s quarters. He took out a small key, slid it into the lock, and opened the door. Nothing was out of place. Dorian closed the large French doors to the balcony, muttering about the cold. Bull picked up a piece of parchment from the floor and read it. “Shit.”

“What is it?”

Bull handed the letter to Dorian.

__

__Adaar,_ _

__Hissra, Sataa, and Meraad are dead. Ashaad left, so I guess we only have one now._ _

__The rest of the squad are alive. And they don't have any stupid ideas about meaning and purpose, so that's good. Although Kaariss wrote you a poem to celebrate being rescued. So, not all good._ _

__Shokrakar_ _

__

__“Most of her mercenary squad was rescued then,” Dorian said.__

“Yeah, but look. The handwriting is jagged and smudged here and there are water stains here—Shrokakar was crying when she wrote this.”

“So what about these smudges here?”

“Those are from Athena's tears. Also, Ashaad didn't leave. Cullen's men found a Qunari body surrounded by half a dozen men. My guess is that was him.”

“She's not going to take this well, is she?”

“I don't know, how'd you feel if you got a letter saying half your family was murdered?”

“Fair point.”

__They searched the stables and abandoned towers, and the basement library by the kitchen. Blackwall had convinced himself she had fallen off of the battlements and died because he had not finished the balance beam he promised her. He was drinking in the tavern with Varric.__

“Please tell me you found her, or Cassandra is going to find a way to blame me for it.” Varric grumbled. Dorian shook his head. “Shit.”

Bull stretched and rolled his shoulders. “I'm going to bed.”

“You aren't going to keep looking?”

Bull shook his head. “She didn't leave Skyhold, that much we know. Red has her people crawling all over the place.”

“Unless her head is smashed against the mountainside,” Blackwall slurred.

“I can't think that. Not now.”

“Suit yourself,” Dorian signaled Cabot.

“Maker what have I done,” Blackwall whispered into his mug.

__Bull couldn't listen to them worry. If he was honest with himself he was terrified something had happened to her. It wasn't lost on him that what he felt for her went beyond attraction. He cared, deeply. It was dangerous.__

He lumbered up the stairs and unlocked his door. The lights were out but he could already tell something was not right. He scanned the room and noticed his bed was unmade. In fact, his blanket was missing. The door to the battlements was open and two empty wine bottles lay on the ground.

“What the—“

He lit a lantern and his room came alive with the soft light. He walked outside and his heart leapt into his throat. There was Athena, his blanket wrapped around her shoulders, sitting against the stone wall looking up at the stars.

“We have been looking for you,” he sat down next to her.

“So I heard.”

He could smell alcohol on her breath.

“Where you in here the whole time?"

Athena hiccuped slightly and shook her head. “I was in the wine cellar for a while. Then I went to the one place no one would look for me.”

“My room?”

“Yup,” she smiled. And then sang softly to herself, “fooled the Ben-Hassrath agent. The last place he'd think to look would be his own bed.”

He laughed softly, grateful she was alive and safe.

“Blackwall is convinced you fell off the battlements and died. You might want to see him early tomorrow.”

Athena scrunched up her face and snorted. “I don’t fall.”

“Wouldn’t try now, Boss. You might not be so lucky.”

“Well, that would just be _irresponsible_ of me,” her words slurred into one another. She looked up at the stars. “They’re dead.”

“I know.”

“Found the letter?”

“Yep. I’m sorry.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks. “Ashaad is dead too, isn’t he?”

“Most likely.”

She fell over into his arms as deep heaving sobs wracked her chest. Bull pulled her into his lap and held her while she cried. He felt selfish, seeing her in so much pain, and feeling happy that she chose him. His arms, his bed. He ran his fingers through her hair and thought about how his blanket would smell like lavender in the morning. Eventually she stopped crying and hiccuped softly, her body giving into sleep. He lifted her off the ground and brought her into his bed. He laid down next to her. He thought of sleeping in the chair by the fireplace, but before he could move she rolled on top of his chest and sighed, deeply. Bull smiled and kissed the top of her head, inhaling her scent. He couldn’t wait any longer, he was hungry for her touch, to know if she trusted him enough. He needed her. He needed to know if he was more than just a passing curiosity to her. But not tonight. He stared up at the ceiling and couldn’t help grinning.


	17. Chapter 17

The six weeks they were traveling felt like the longest in Athena’s life. While she and Bull made no secret that they were interested in one another, there had been no physical contact since Skyhold. What was worse was Cole, while a gentle soul who was useful in a fight, had a bad habit of reading people’s thoughts. Thus Athena learned more about her companions than they probably wished. Varric’s guilt and sadness over the loss of his friends in Kirkwall, Dorian’s ambivalence about his father, Blackwall’s regrets for poor decisions in battle; all were blurted out over the camp fire. Vivienne stormed off into her tent and refused to be in a party with him for two weeks after Cole revealed he was ghost in the White Spire. Cassandra discovered that Cole had murdered Lord Seeker Lambert but took it fairly well, considering. Cole hadn’t mentioned anything about Bull yet, and Athena assumed it was his Ben-Hassrath training. 

The night after they discovered the connection between the Venatori, Corepheus, and the Grey Wardens no one felt like talking. Varric and Hawke sat together by the fire. Stroud sat in his own tent, meditating. The others had also wandered off to their own bed rolls. Bull sat sharpening his axe in the dimming firelight. Athena was half pretending to read a biography of King Bhelen of Orzamaar, her head leaning against Bull’s shoulder. The dull scraping of the blade was the only noise until Cole simply appeared next to them. 

“Vasaa was angry. He went first because he wanted to fight. Taking point, then points take him, red on his neck.

Bull looked up, “I was just thinking about—wait, you in my mind again, Kid?”

Cole fixed Bull with his pale eyes, “Even if you went in first, there would have been another fight, another time he didn’t listen. It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it was. I was in charge, should’ve found a way to—Hey, that’s pretty good. We could use that.”

“You can use sadness?”

“Ben-Hassrath, Kid. We can use anything.”

A few more minutes passed. Bull continued sharpening his axe. “So, Cole, you’re a spirit…demon…thing?”

“Yes, and you are The Iron Bull, afraid of Demons.”

“Not fond of them, no. But you and I are fine as long as you don’t do any weird crap.”

Cole looked into the fire. “Lying awake, sheets soaked in sweat, afraid to call the Tamassarans. Shadows make shapes in the dark.” Athena’s eyes darted to Bull, who froze, the tension in his body palpable. Cole continued, “if it gets in my head, how do I cut it out? Itching, shaking, tears slide down cold down my cheeks. “’Tama, I’m scared’.”

Bull stood up slowly. Cole, oblivious to the giant next to him, continued to stare into the fire. Bull cleared his throat. “Yeah, weird crap like that? Pretty much what I meant.”

“Bull,” Athena’s hand brushed his but he waved her off.

“’Night, Boss.” 

Athena snapped her book shut and glared at Cole. He looked over at her.

"You stopped crying in your sleep, but it still hurts. You dream about their blood on your hands, but its not your fault either. When will you both realize this?"

Athena shook her head. "Good night, Cole."

======================

Bull kept to himself for the next few days. Athena spent those days with Varric and Hawke, who appeared significantly less jumpy than she had the first few times she was around Athena. The longer she was around Varric, the more Hawke softened in both behavior and appearance: her hair had grown out since Kirkwall, and sat in a knotted mess she tried to keep tied up. 

“Bethany always did my hair, I never had a knack for it.” She explained one night. They had camped near a small oasis and had bathed for the first time in weeks. “That’s why, after she went to the Circle, I just kept it short. But life on the road is hard. You were a mercenary, right?”

Athena nodded.

“How did you manage with—“ Hawke gestured “all that?”

Athena laughed. “I think about cutting it sometimes. But my Kith’s commander helped me, and then I learned on my own. I would watch the girls in the towns and see what they did with their hair and would practice on my own.” she shrugged. “It passed the time. I can show you.” 

Hawke was wrestling a comb out of a particularly nasty knot and paused. 

“I’m not really a ‘lets do each other’s hair and bond’ kind of girl.” 

Athena smiled, “neither am I, Champion, but I don’t look like I got in a fight with my hair and lost. That will be the follow up to Varric’s book: Tale’s of the Champion part two: The woman who was defeated by a knot.” 

“Oh, fine.” Hawke walked over and sat in front of Athena by the fire and handed her the comb. Athena began by running her fingers through the damp, knotted hair. It was a tangled mess. She had some leftover lavender oil she used for her hair to protect it from the sun, and dropped some in her hands. Hawke’s hair was black and thick to Athena’s thin silver, but it relented easily to Athena’s gentle fingers. She thought of her own mothers hands, then her father’s, then Shrokakar’s. She wondered whose hands Hawke thought of as Athena massaged her scalp.

“Fenris,” she murmured. Athena slowly began to plait Hawke’s hair and said nothing. “Fenris would do my hair. He…likes it long.”

“They often do.” Athena murmured.

“Maker, I miss him.”

“You can have him come to Skyhold.”

“I—what?”

“He is welcome. As are you. As long as you would like it or need protection. You ended Meredith’s reign of terror. I owe you more than simple refuge.” She tied a string at the bottom of the braid. “There. Done.”

Hawke felt her hair. It was tied up and would have easily fit under a helmet should she ever decide to wear one.  
“Inquisitor, you know I cannot accept your offer.”

Athena tilted her head to the side and studied the woman in front of her. “I know. We are not so different, you and I. Our duty. Our sense of responsibility overruns our own needs. But we try to do what is right. Maybe not guided by the Chantry, the Maker, but by our own compass, our own sense of morals. I offer you only what I wanted my whole life. What you wanted for your family.”

“Who did you lose?”

“Everyone.”

Hawke studied Athena’s face for several moments, then stood and bowed her head.

“Well, Inquisitor, should we resolve this Corypheus business, then I will gladly take you up on the offer.”

Athena smiled and inclined her head. “Messer Hawke, I believe we have a deal.”

Hawke walked toward her tent, “I see why Varric likes you. Good night, Inquisitor Adaar.”

“Good night. Serah Hawke.”  
================================

They finally finished their tour of the Western Approach, and by the messages from Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine, winter had hit early and hit hard. Supplies would not reach them and it would be hard riding back east to Skyhold. The Freemen of the Dales had begun to infiltrate the Emerald Graves, and there were reports of Red Templars in Emprise du Lion, which had also been hit with an unnatural early frost. Additionally, Josephine had managed to secure the Inquisition invitations to a Winter’s Ball at Halamshiral, which would give them a chance to broker peace in Orlais and secure allies for the fight against Corypheus. 

Given their limited supplies Athena decided it made more sense to send most of the party, including Hawke and Stroud, back to Skyhold with the Inquisition forces who were not staying to secure the area. They had been told of a rift in the Exalted Plains and Athena believed a small team could dispatch it without much back-up support. It would add and extra day of travel back to Skyhold, but would eliminate the need for an additional trip to wipe out the last of the rifts in that area. 

Bull, Dorian, and Cole remained with Athena. They rode hard back to the Exalted Plains while the rest of their party continued Northeast. The rift was near the Evanuris, not too far from an Inquisition outpost. They quickly replenished their supplies and were on their way. Athena was eager to be back at Skyhold and to be granted some time alone with Bull. The last two evenings she had heard him tossing and turning in his sleep. He was having nightmares. Likely since his conversation with Cole. 

They rode along the river’s edge toward the rift. Athena’s hand crackled and burned before they were in sight of it. Bull tied up the horses and they made the rest of the trek on foot as quietly as they could with the dull hum of the Fade interacting with Athena’s hand. Suddenly, Cole blurted out.

“The Iron Bull, do you ever worry about a demon standing to your left where your eye can’t see?"

Bull was quiet a moment. “Well, I do _now_.”

Athena grumbled, “Not now.” Bull unsheathed his weapon and began glancing about. Cole, to his credit, stood far to the right of Bull.

“There,” Dorian indicated with his staff. They could see the demons swirling around the rift.

Athena grabbed her hand. It felt…different. The mark usually burned and tingled her fingers when she was near a rift, but this felt bigger. The ache traveled up to almost her elbow. She staggered.

“Boss,” Bull cried out, steadying her.

Athena looked up at him. “Let’s get this over with.”

They dispatched the first set of demons easily enough. Then everything got cold.

“No, no no…” Cole dropped to his knees and began to rock back and forth.

Athena made an effort to run to him but she felt as if frozen in place. She looked around, confused. Dorian was leaning on his staff and breathing heavily.

“Despair demon.”

“What are you waiting for, fireball his ass,” Bull called out. He heaved his axe and it buried itself into the demon’s skull. It began to twirl around shooting frost as fast and hard a razor blades. One lodged itself in Athena’s leg. Dorian gulped a lyrium potion and Athena felt the hum of his barrier around her. Somewhat invigorated, she managed to take down another demon. The rift crackled as she tried to close it.

“It's not working!” she called out. Her injured leg was giving out, making it hard to stand.

Dorian was at her side. He was bleeding badly from his temple but seemed otherwise unhurt. “What do you mean?”

Athena screamed in pain, “Something’s coming through.”

Cole pulled at her sleeve. “Don’t let it.”

“I…can’t.”

And then there it stood. A hulking Pride Demon. She had faced one back in Haven when she needed to stabilize the rift. That was with a dozen Inquisition soldiers at her disposal. The despair demon had done its work, they were demoralized and frustrated but thought the fight was over. She could hear the demon’s voice in her head as he emerged.

 _You think to win a war, without my help?_

Athena clapped her hands around her ears. “Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” She screamed.

“Boss!”

The creature loomed in front of them. Dorian cast another shield but Athena could feel it was weak. Cole’s strength was in stealth, which without someone to take the attention away from him would leave him a smear on the ground.

“Hey, asshole!” Bull cried out. The pride demon towered over the Qunari warrior. It lumbered over and was met with a thrust of his axe. It staggered, and Bull cried out, victorious. Then it conjured what looked like a whip made out of lightning.

“Dorian,” Athena got up on one knee. “Do something!”

“I...I can’t.” The mage’s hands shook as the last of the magic left them. Athena tossed him another lyrium potion but they were out of time. The lash hit Bull with such a force that the ground shook. The demon then lifted him off the ground and threw him into a nearby boulder.

Athena downed a healing potion and jumped between Bull and the monster. It turned to face her. Bull was breathing, slowly, behind her.

“Athena…” he wheezed. 

The demon roared and tried to get into her head.

“You. Will. Not. Have. Him.” She screamed, and lunged at the giant. She felt Dorian’s barrier waver and go out as he fainted. Cole had also either disappeared or lost consciousness. The demon grabbed her by the throat.

 _If that is to be the cost,_ She heard the demon’s laugh. _I will spare him. But is the spy worth it? He is given orders, daily, about how to end you. Can you really trust the Ben-Hassrath? After what they did to your mother?_

“Athena!” She heard Bull’s strangled cry below her as she began to black out. She looked the purple monster in the eyes.

“You know nothing about my mother. I will pay the price. And you will not take HIM from me.”

And then she screamed and willed her hand to send the monster back to the Fade.

And she died.

________Only she didn’t die. Or so the murmur of noises around her indicated. She felt the vague notion that she was being carried, and awoke at night, in the foothills of the Frostbacks.________

“Shh,” Dorian hushed. “You need to rest.”

“Isn’t that all I’ve been doing?” Athena murmured, but her head pounded and she could not sit up. Her voice was hoarse and her neck bruised from the demon’s hands.

“I don’t know what you did. But somehow you just…sent him back. Closed the rift and everything. Saved our lives. Bull had a punctured lung. Took the last of my magic to heal it. Cole had enough sense to get help.” Dorian gestured at the shadowed features outside Athena’s tent. “Backup arrived and helped me save you.”

“What happened?”

“Didn’t I just tell you I don’t know?” The irritation in Dorian’s voice quickly softened. “It seems that your mark grows more powerful the longer you wield it. What I want to know is, at what cost?”

Athena looked away. Then she wasn’t crazy, the magic was spreading, it was still unstable.

“I felt this one more than usual. Nothing I can’t handle.”

“Obviously.” Dorian inclined his head. “We are a day from Skyhold. I would suggest you rest as arriving on a liter would likely not be the way you want to enter if you wish to be seen as the warrior princess you seem to be.” And he kissed her gently on the forehead. Athena tried to sit up and call after him and fainted again. She awoke later that night. To the sound of quiet voices outside her tent.

“Hey, Cole, quick! What number am I thinking of?”

“Raw and hot, trying to open it but just darkness. How bad? How bad? No, done now. No sense worrying. The man they hurt coughs, shaking, but sits up. Eyes wide. No, not a man. A woman. Clothes torn. ’You’re safe now. I’m Iron Bull. What do you want me to call you?’”

“…twelve. The number I was thinking of was twelve. Demon interrogators, Stupid idea anyways…” Bull grumbled.

It was quiet for a few minutes and she drifted off to sleep. Bull pulled the flap to her tent and walked in. “Hey, Boss.” He sat down in the chair by her head. The wood creaked under his mass and he groaned a little as he unbuckled his leg brace.

“So, when we get back to Skyhold we are going to have to talk. I mean a real one. This whole me yammering while you sleep has gotten old. I mean, if the circumstances were different I wouldn’t mind being next to you while you were sleeping…Shit, I’m not good at this, Athena. I think I know what you want, I think I know what you need, and then you go and nearly get yourself killed protecting me from some asshole demon. That’s _my_ job. I’m the hired muscle. It’s just…” Bull stroked the side of her head and moved her hair out of her face. “I need you to wake up. Then we can try to go back to normal and I can start joking around again. I need you—”

Athena stirred. “Bull…?”  
“Boss? Hey, Boss, you awake?” Bull’s face was inches from her’s, his grin widened as she nodded. “I should go get Dorian or something, right?” He began to stand up and Athena’s hand shot out to stop him. He sat back down in the chair.

“Stay.”

He kissed her hand and pressed it against his face. “As long as you want,” he said.

“I may want other things too, Bull.”

“When you recover, Boss.” He laughed, pressing his forehead against hers. “And you’re gonna. And that makes me a happy man.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NSFW below

Solas examined her when they finally arrived at Skyhold. He assured her the mark was as stable as it could be, but that she should not attempt what she did before. “Magic, like so many things, is susceptible to our emotions. I worry that you could do great damage to yourself if pushed.”

Athena rolled her eyes. “Okay, Solas. I’ll try not to get too upset. It's like you’re trying to get me to avoid connecting to the Fade.”

Solas fixed her with his most serious face. “I am trying to prevent you from making yourself Tranquil.”

Athena’s laugh died in her throat. “What? That's not even possible. I’m not a mage.”

“You are intrinsically connected to the Fade by your mark. As Dagna hypothesized, the orb was meant to open, and your mark is designed, apparently, to close. Push it too hard, and you may close yourself off from the Fade entirely. Should it get worse I want you to see me immediately.”

With Solas’ words ringing in her ears, Athena sought out Bull, only to find Cullen wanting to talk about the plans for the siege of Adamant, yet again. The House of Repose was still after Josephine, and Leliana was actually voicing regret for withdrawing agents before the attack on Haven. Frustrated at the end of a long day, she went back to her room, rifling through a pile of reports she’d have to have an answer for by the morning. 

And there, sitting on her bed, was Bull. Athena stopped short and dropped the stack of papers she had been holding.

“So. Listen,” He began, his eyes twinkling, “I’ve caught the hints. I get what you’re saying. You want to ride The Bull.”

Athena’s jaw dropped. She was unclear whether he had been drinking or if someone had put him up to it. She looked around, half expecting Varric to jump out from behind the curtains and say “gotcha!”

Bull stood up and walk toward her slowly, still talking, “…can’t say I blame you. But I’m not sure if you know what you’re asking. Not sure if you’re ready for it.”

Athena swallowed, her heart hammering. “Oh, I am ready for it.”

“See, you say that, but…you really don’t know what that means.”

Athena took a step towards him. He was breathing hard and she was afraid she’d faint.

“So. Why don’t you show me?”

Bull made a noise from deep in his chest and he picked up both her hands with one arm and pressed her against the wall. Athena gasped.

“Last chance.” He whispered into her ear.

“Don’t go. Not now. Please.” She begged.

He smiled and lifted her off the ground, tossing her into the bed. Athena always wondered why Josephine insisted on an excessive number of feathered pillows for the bed, and then she learned. Her back lay against them as Bull kissed her, his whole weight on top. Athena pressed her hips against his and he groaned in reply. His hands quickly undid the buttons on her tunic and unlaced her breast band. He pulled the useless fabric and tossed it onto the couch, his tongue and teeth caressing and nibbling down her neck and shoulders. Athena arched her back as he took her breasts in his hands and mouth. She reached out for him and one hand grabbed her wrists and pinned her down.

“No, this is about you. Don’t think, just feel.”  
 _That’s exactly what I’m not supposed to do_ , she thought, but his fingers were moving down past her navel and she gasped.

“Bull I haven’t—“

“I know.”

He allowed her to help with his shoulder strap and his belt, but otherwise he was disrobed alarmingly fast. Athena had never been naked around another man, and when he pulled her trousers off she suddenly felt self conscious. Bull, ever alert, noticed.

“What?”

“Nothing,” Athena blushed.

“You are beautiful,” he murmured, nipping down her neck and stomach. “I almost feel bad for the marks you’ll have tomorrow.”

“They’ll remind me that this happened. That you wanted me.”

Bull kissed her stomach.

“Want doesn’t even cover it.”

And he kissed her below her navel, and then kept kissing her. His tongue and fingers caressing every inch of her. She quickly felt as if she was on fire. By the time he entered her with his fingers she had climaxed, twice. “Bull.” She called out. He thrust inside her with two fingers. Her hips met each thrust and her back arched, “Bull. Please.”

She whimpered as his fingers left her and before she knew it he was on top of her, looking into her eyes. “You sure?”  
In response she thrust her hips up to meet him and pulled him into her. He roared as she screamed. She felt as if she would rip in half and yet the pleasure was beyond anything she could have imagined. Bull thrust into her and she soon lost herself as waves of ecstasy rippled though her body.

Then, when she thought she could not move another muscle Bull flipped himself onto the bed, keeping one arm around her waist. Suddenly she was on top of him. “That’s right,” he murmured, one hand playing with her breast, the other on her hips, guiding her. She followed his lead and within minutes he began to moan her name. Athena moved faster. Bull grabbed her hips and thrust hard into her, calling her name as he came, sending her over the edge once again.

__She fell against the pillows, sweaty and breathing heavily. Bull was soon next to her, nuzzling against her. She buried her head into his chest. “Stay,” she muttered, half asleep.__

“I will, until you sleep. And then I’ll leave you to your dreams.” He kissed her forehead and held her. She closed her eyes and listened to the hammer of his heart beat against her ear as she slowly drifted off to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

She awoke the next morning sore and covered in bruises from Bull’s hands and teeth. They traveled down her neck and were beginning to blossom on her hips and buttocks. Luckily it had also snowed that night, and she had an excuse to dress in a more conservative outfit. She also left her hair loose so that it tumbled down her shoulders and hid most of the marks. At least from most people. Josephine—if she noticed—was too polite to mention anything. Cullen was oblivious and muttering about trebuchets and complaining about having to attend the ball at Halamshiral. Leliana smiled and wagged her eyebrows knowingly. Athena ignored her but could not help blushing. 

The snowfall would mean little travel over the next week at least, especially if it was heavier to the south. Luckily, supplies had reached the Hinterlands and the Inquisition’s presence at Caer Bronach meant they could get redistributed easily to those in need. 

“If we deal with the Red Templar presence on the Storm Coast, we may be able to build our own harbors and secure trade from the Marches. Most of Amaranthine will be deserted now that the Grey Wardens have disappeared. It may make sense to secure the area and re-establish the trade there. Fergus Cousland should be willing to permit travel through Highever at the very least.” She mused as Cullen took notes and suggested that maybe he see to the matter personally. 

“Commander, that would mean you’d miss the Ball at the Winter Palace,” Leliana teased. “It would be such a tragedy.” 

“Oh, no, I simply cannot allow it.” Josephine added, then giggled, “besides, I think I found an outfit that will bring out your eyes.” 

“Maker’s breath, why do I even bother?” 

“Well,” Athena interrupt their teasing, “it looks like we will all be at Skyhold for a little while because of the weather. So we need not spend all day meeting. If there are urgent matters to attend to we can meet again after supper, but otherwise I think that’s enough for today.” Athena stretched and, as a force of habit, pulled her hair behind her neck and out of her face. 

“Inquisitor!” Cullen looked alarmed. “Are you injured?” 

Athena froze. Cullen looked concerned, but Leliana and Josephine were doing all they could to not fall down from laughing. Athena’s face felt hot. 

“Ah, um, no. Just the residuals from my scrap with the pride demon. I forgot all about it.” 

“Oh, but they look…” Cullen seemed relieved but confused. Leliana was wiping tears from her eyes. He glanced over at Josephine who was wildly fanning herself with her papers. Realization suddenly dawned on him and he blushed deep crimson. “Ah, well. I’m glad you are alright,” and briskly walked out of the room, Leliana's laugh following him down the hallway. 

 

================================

There was more snowfall to the West, making Emprise du Lion the next place that Athena would need to focus her attention. But that would need to wait until Halamshiral and its related nonsense was dealt with. Athena had hoped having unplanned time at Skyhold would allow her more time to spend with Bull, but Josephine’s efforts to prepare everyone for the Winter Palace only increased in intensity. And the harder that Josephine pushed, the more Athena’s friends avoided her. 

Every morning Athena was greeted to a litany from the excitable Antivan, her list of complaints growing larger by the hour. It seemed Varric spent most of his time (drinking) with Hawke and when Josephine cornered him he said he had very important letters to send the Merchant’s Guild and hid for two days. Sera had been spending more and more time down in the Undercroft with Dagna, experimenting with volatile concoctions that she would lob at unsuspecting nobles while they walked around in the garden (“and all because I insisted she wash her hair!”). 

Blackwall and Cassandra were suddenly essential to the training of the recruits and could not be used for meetings—Athena figured Cullen was behind this. Solas politely declined to be a part of the planning but assured her that he would not embarrass the Inquisition and then talked about witnessing political machinations in the Fade, forcing her to politely retreat from the Solarium. Dorian simply complained about how “quaint” everything was until Josephine stopped talking to him. Vivienne wanted too much input, but had managed to secure some “very talented” tailors to work on Athena's wardrobe for the ball. 

“And The Iron Bull. He simply _refuses _to wear a shirt!”__

__

__Athena could hardly manage Josephine under normal circumstances and she had a higher tolerance than anyone other than Leliana. But when Athena's dance lessons replaced training she almost had a meltdown. Josephine's stress had rubbed everyone raw, and after supper they would simply sit in silence, drinking. Athena had been subjected to rhetoric and dancing lessons all day and as she and Leliana waltzed across the stone floors with Josephine counting out the beats all she could think of was Bull. Dancing with him wouldn't be so bad. Blackwall had also finished her balance beam and she was frustrated she had not had a chance to use it._ _

__

================================

__One morning she hid in the hayloft of the stable and climbed along the rafters. She had managed to do a headstand for several seconds before Blackwall caught sight of her and yelled at her to come down before she broke her neck. Reluctantly, she complied._ _

__“Maker’s balls, woman, you’re worse than a child.” He chided as he sanded a small wooden wheel. Athena pouted as she watched him work._ _

__“I’ve been studying history, rhetoric, the art of conversation, and learning to dance over the past week.” She fixed him with a hard stare. “You’re getting out of all that.”_ _

__He nodded. “True enough. What’s the one bothering you?”_ _

__“Honestly? The dancing. Leliana is a bard, she is so light and graceful on her feet and I’m…”_ _

__“You’re graceful.”_ _

__“Not like that. I can move on a battlefield, but on a dance floor?”_ _

__“In Orlais, it’s not so different. Here.” He stood up and picked up two sticks, tossing one to her. He held it in a common fencing pose. Athena mirrored him. “Dance is about two people moving in rhythm with one another. So if I move one, two, turn.” He moved his feet as if moving into an opponent._ _

__“I would counter like this,” Athena mirrored his steps._ _

__“Exactly. Take the Remmigold for example…”_ _

__And that was how Warden Blackwall taught the Inquisitor how to dance._ _


	20. Chapter 20

For Athena, the final straw came the next day, when the tailors arrived. She was forced to stand for hours in her small clothes while a group of men in masks took measurements and lamented her scars. 

“Madame Vivienne,” one man whined, “eet is impossible, what you ask. She is so,” he gestured towards Athena, “huge.” 

The Grand Enchanter had been poring over fabric swatches with Josephine and Leliana. They all glared at him. Vivienne pulled a piece of blush pink silk out. 

“My dear Francois, you simply do not see the potential this woman has. You must look beyond what is in front of you. This is the Herald of Andraste and she must look every inch blessed by the Maker’s Bride.” 

“Yes, Madame.” He replied, but Athena could hear him muttering under his breath as he took her final measurements. When he was done she dismissed everyone and refused visitors. She was tired in her bones. The world was broken, the sky torn asunder, and she was simply trying to save everyone from themselves. And all most people saw was a savage horned giant. 

She ventured down to the Herald’s Rest late in the evening. It was subdued. Bull, Sera, Dorian, Hawke, and Varric sat in the back playing Wicked Grace. Athena's face betrayed her mood. 

“If you keep glaring at the wall I'm afraid it might burst into flames,” Dorian muttered. Athena sighed and took a sip of wine. 

“There, there." Dorian patted her hand. “It can't have been that bad?” 

“What was it today, Violet?” Varric asked, “more dancing lessons? Did Cullen step on your toes?” 

“Wait, you're doing dancing lessons with Cullen?” Bull looked up at Athena and then back at his cards. 

“Varric!” Hawke punched him on the arm. “Not nice. I call.” 

“Tiny, I'm kidding.” 

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind dancing with the Commander all afternoon,” Dorian sighed. Bull frowned and sunk into his chair. 

Athena shook her head. “Today was with the tailors.” 

“Ah,”Dorian tutted, “call. They can say terrible things but none of it is true, love.” 

“Bull got some letters today that put him in a foul mood.” Hawke whispered to Athena. Athena arched an eyebrow and studied Iron Bull. 

“I fold.” Bull stood up. 

“Ooh, grumpy face. I fold. This is stupid.” Sera finished her ale. “Buckles, we need to kill something or I swear Miss Prissy Pants is next!” 

“The snow has melted a bit,” Dorian prodded. 

“Bull,” Athena grabbed for his hand. He looked, hurt? And then it was a mask of neutrality. 

“Look, Boss, not now.” 

Somehow that was the final straw. She was tired of being kept an arm’s distance from her new lover, never knowing what was being whispered in his ear by his superiors in the Ben-Hassrath. She was tired of making everyone else happy and being punished for it. She was tired of being used for power plays and negotiations. She needed to do something crazy before she was dressed up and sent to a ball where she would be treated as a sideshow freak. 

“Fuck it!” She pounded her fist into the table. Coins went flying and everyone froze, looking at her. “Let's go...I dunno, kill a dragon!” 

Varric groaned and Dorian’s mouth flapped open and shut without making a noise. Sera was looking at Athena like she was crazy. Hawke was nodding enthusiastically. 

“Boss,” Bull’s tone was measured, but she could hear excitement in it. 

“I mean it,” she looked up at him. “What do you say?” 

Bull roared and lifted her off the ground. “You’re the best, Boss. You can dance with whomever you want.” 

“Bull, I wasn’t dancing with Cullen.” 

“She was dancing with Beardy.” 

“Not helpful, Sera.” 

============================

They left the next morning before dawn. Athena left it open to volunteers considering the risk. Bull was there, practically bouncing up and down in excitement. He had readied both their horses. Within minutes Dorian and Cassandra arrived, then Sera and Cole. And, to her surprise, Solas. Varric had “done the whole dragon thing” with Hawke, whom he would need to restrain from joining. Blackwall had volunteered to keep Josephine distracted for the few days they would be missing, and Vivienne was neck deep in fabrics and dress designs, so Athena didn’t bother inviting her. 

They rode hard to the Hinterlands, discussing the strategy for fighting a Ferelden Frostback. 

“I'd say it's to not die.” Dorian quipped. 

They made camp and organized their supplies, sure they would see the dragon the next morning as all the reports had been she had commandeered a large swath of the area southeast of Redcliffe. They went to bed early, the air filled with a sense of excitement and dread. Athena had polished and sharpened her daggers and throwing knives and gone over her armor twice with an fire resistant oil Dagna had concocted with Sera. She heard the flap to her tent lift and smelled leather, armor polish, and the spicy mint of the balm Bull used for his ankle and shoulder. 

“Got word from Red. Josephine is going nuts and we better head back.” 

Athena reached for his hand and he took a few steps toward her. “Good thing we're heading back tomorrow, then.” 

She rose and rested her head against his chest. It was always so warm and the slow steady beat of his heart calmed her. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he pulled her close. He buried his face in her hair. 

“You smell so good,” he murmured into her hair. 

“I try…Bull?” 

“Mm?” 

“Do you want to stay?” 

“I'm afraid if I do that neither of us will get sleep.” 

“I promise to behave myself,” Athena smiled and kissed his nose. 

“I'll stay for a bit.” 

He held her and she fell asleep almost instantly. Cassandra woke her up before dawn and she was alone. It bothered her, but she did not say anything to him during breakfast. They broke down their camp and organized everything so they could leave quickly. Josephine had arranged for carriages to meet them at the Crossroads. This guaranteed they would arrive at Skyhold sooner. Likely under armed guard. 

They no sooner entered the clearing then the dragon roared overhead, shooting fire. 

“Ah, this is gonna be GREAT!” Bull roared. 

The High Dragon's nest was somewhere to the east, and they set off after her. She stood in a clearing and screamed when they approached. Athena could hear the hum of Solas’ barrier around her. 

“Alright, let's do this!” Athena yelled and she ran headfirst at the dragon with Cassandra at her side. Solas rained ice on the beast and she screamed in response, exhaling a waft of fire that Athena dove and narrowly missed. 

Cassandra caught the dragon’s attention, allowing Athena and Bull an opportunity to get underneath her. Her scales were hard as rocks and Athena’s daggers did no damage. Eventually they managed to sunder a tendon on one of her legs and Sera had punctured one of her wings with a hail of arrows. 

Athena’s armor felt hot but Dagna’s oil did its job and while singed, she was in one piece. 

The fight dragged on for hours. Cassandra’s arm had taken a direct blow and she was struggling to hold her shield high enough. The dragon had managed to light Sera’s hair on fire, which she put out with her last healing potion. She had run out of arrows and was lobbing rocks at the dragon and cursing. The mages were clearly fatigued and running low on lyrium potions. They would not last much longer. But they were so close, if only she could get to higher ground. And then she had an idea.

“Bull,” she called out. 

“Now’s not really a good time, Boss.” He swung his axe and made contact with the Dragon’s leg, she listed to the side, limping. 

“Cover me!” 

"What?"

And she holstered her daggers and started to scrambling up the rock wall. She heard Bull blow his horn and the dragon lunged after him. 

“What are you doing?” Dorian yelled. 

She was soon on the ledge above the dragon’s head and face to face with a dragonling. It snapped at her but she managed to dodge out of its way, sliding underneath and hauling it over the edge with her legs, where it landed with a thud at the High Dragon’s feet. The dragon screamed out and looked up at Athena. She only had one chance to do this. It bared its teeth and inhaled, ready to incinerate her with its fire breath. Athena took a running leap and flung herself at the dragon, grabbing its face. It thrashed around and she squeezed hold with her legs as hard as she could. She plunged her dagger into the dragon’s throat, severing an artery. Blood spurted and the thrashing increased, launching Athena into the air. She felt both Dorian and Solas’ barriers, and then felt Bull leap into the air to grab her and break her fall. They tumbled to the ground. The dragon turned and charged at them before lurching over to the side, dead. 

For a moment no one spoke. Cassandra dropped her shield and grabbed her arm. Solas quietly studied it. 

“That. Was. Awesome!” Bull whooped. He had a very large gash over his good eye and several burns across his back and chest. 

Athena stood up slowly and was impressed that she was in one piece. An instant later an irate Dorian was in her face.

“That was the stupidest, most dangerous, unnecessarily risky things I have ever seen anyone do, ever. I almost had a heart attack. And YOU,” he pointed a finger accusingly at Iron Bull, “you are far too reckless and are a bad influence!” He handed Bull a singed handkerchief, which the Qunari warrior happily clapped over his eye to stop the bleeding. 

Athena wrapped her arm around Dorian's neck and kissed him. “Dorian, we just fought a fucking _High Dragon_.” 

__“You are going to be the death of me.” He muttered._ _

__

__Despite their injuries and exhaustion, they went merrily along their way to the Crossroads. Fighting a dragon had certainly lifted everyone’s spirits. Even Solas was smiling. Sure enough, when they reached their destination there were two large carriages bearing the Inquisition Sigil, and more than a dozen scouts and soldiers ready to “escort” their Inquisitor back._ _

__

==============================

__News of the dragon slaying spread across Skyhold quickly, no doubt with Varric's help. The tailors had brought back designs, many of which were summarily dismissed by Vivienne._ _

__Athena sat and pouted by her window. She could hear the celebration in the Herald’s Rest from her balcony and wanted to join in._ _

__“Why can't I just wear my armor like Cassandra suggested?”_ _

__“Nonsense, you cannot dance in full armor.” Vivienne scoffed._ _

__“Who says I’m dancing?”_ _

__Josephine glared at Athena._ _

__“No, what we need is to convey you are as soft and delicate as any Orlesian lady, but also as strong and capable a fighter as any of the chevaliers. Not an easy feat, my dear.”_ _

__“Our scouts should be arriving with the remains of the dragon.” Leliana mused, “perhaps we could incorporate that somehow?”_ _

__“Leliana, that is genius.”_ _

__Athena saw her opportunity and seized it. “Ladies, I trust you to come up with something for the ball next week. So for now, I will leave you to your work.” And sprinted down the stairs before Vivienne could protest._ _

__

__The Herald’s Rest was filled with revelers. Sera had taken to reenacting Athena’s leap onto the dragon from the staircase while Hawke and Varric told the story of the dragon they slayed in Kirkwall. Even Dorian had an admiring crowd around him._ _

__Bull sat at the bar and waved enthusiastically when she approached._ _

__“Inquisitor! Come, have a drink!” Judging by his speech, he had been drinking for a while. When she sat down he pulled out a bottle from somewhere and pulled out the cork. He filled two shot glasses and slid one to her. “To killing a High Dragon like warriors of legend!”_ _

__She sniffed the glass. It burned her nostrils._ _

__“What is this?”_ _

__“Booze. Drink up.”_ _

__Athena knocked back the shot. The liquid burned her mouth and throat. She coughed, her eyes watering._ _

__“I know, right? Put some chest on your chest!” He downed his glass and leaned back in the stool. “That little gurgle just before it spat fire? And that roar? Ah, what I wouldn’t give to roar like that! The way the ground shook when it landed. The smell of fire burning…Taarsidith-an Hallsam.” Bull leaned toward her. “You know, Qunari hold Dragon’s sacred? Well, as much as we hold anything sacred.”_ _

__He refilled the glasses._ _

__“Here, your turn.”_ _

__“That thing you just said, you shouted it during the fight, too. What does it mean?”_ _

__“Oh. Tarsidith-an Hallsam? The closest translation would be, I will bring myself sexual pleasure later, while thinking of this with great respect.”_ _

__Athena could not hide her grin. "You shouted that while it was breathing fire at us?”_ _

__“I know, right?” He made a deep purring noise in his throat._ _

__She drank the glass and coughed. He threw his back and laughed._ _

__“Yes, the second cup’s easier. Most of the nerves in your throat are dead after the first one.” He clapped her back and refilled their glasses. “Ataashi, the glorious ones. That’s our word for them. Ataaashheeee.” He listed to the side._ _

__“Why do you think of Dragons that way?” She asked. Bull leaned close._ _

__“Well…you know how we have horns. We look more…dragony than most people, maybe it's that. But, a few of the Ben-Hassrath have this crazy old theory. See…the Tamassarans control who we mate with. They breed us for jobs, like you’d breed dogs or horses. What if they mixed in some dragon along the way a long time ago? Maybe drinking the blood, maybe magic. I don’t know. But something in that dragon…spoke to me.”_ _

__“It's a shame we had to kill the dragon, then.”_ _

__“Damn good fight. Dragon’s are the embodiment of raw power. But its all uncontrolled, savage.” He topped her off. “So they need to be destroyed. Taming the wild. Order out of chaos. Here, have another drink.”_ _

__She took a less enthusiastic sip and coughed again._ _

__Bull laughed and raised his glass. “Nice, to Dragons!”_ _

__She clinked her glass against his and hiccuped slightly. “To The Iron Bull!”_ _

__“And his ass-kicking Inquisitor!”_ _

__After the third shot Athena felt the room spin around her and, as Bull promised, her throat was numb. Bull was listing from side to side and she was sure that he would fall off the stool. She leaned against his arm and closed her eyes, trying to slow the spinning._ _

__“Kadan, hey, Kadan.” Bull tilted her face up to his, “I always want to say this and I never can when we’re off saving the world...You’ve got fantastic tits.”_ _

__Athena’s face felt flushed, and not from the alcohol. The fogginess in her head suddenly cleared. What had he called her? Not “Boss” and not “Athena.” _Kadan_. She had a flood of memories of her parents in the kitchen, her father kissing her mother and giving her flowers he picked in the garden; then him kneeling by her lifeless body as he muttered it over and over _Kadan, Kadan._ __

______Athena kissed Bull on the lips._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I'm cutting you off.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull tried to pull her into his lap and fell off the bar stool._ _ _ _ _ _

______“That might be a good idea.” He moaned from the floor._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Can you get back to your room?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“I think I might just stay here for a little while, Boss. Until the room stops moving.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Fair enough.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Hey,” he grabbed her ankle. “Thanks for joining me tonight.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Always.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull smiled and almost instantly he was snoring._ _ _ _ _ _

______Athena stood on her balcony that night, watching the stars and trying to clear her head. Bull’s words echoed in her ears. Kadan…_ _ _ _ _ _


	21. Chapter 21

The night before the ball at Halamshiral, Josephine arranged for the use of a Chateau two hours away by carriage. Everyone was ready and polished on time. Even Sera had shown up clean and in uniform. Cassandra and Cullen grumbled about not being allowed to wear armor, but Blackwall looked positively handsome with his beard oiled and trimmed, and Athena could swear he was wearing cologne. Varric still managed to show a distracting amount of chest hair, and Iron Bull actually wore a shirt. Somehow it made him seem even more massive and imposing than when he was bare chested. Vivienne and Dorian looked regal and intimidating. 

Dorian had helped Athena get ready, showing her how to use a khol pencil to shadow her eyes slightly, which made them look even larger and more vibrant than usual. Leliana put a small amount of rouge on Athena's cheeks and a dark stain on her lips. The woman looking back at her in the mirror was her, only her eyes sparkled a bit brighter, looking a more intense violet. She looked every inch a breathless ingénue, with her silver hair tumbling down her left shoulder in a loose braid. Within her hair they had woven fine strands of silver thread that glittered in the candlelight. Athena was allowed to wear soft leather flats that allowed her to move gracefully in the dress. 

The dress. Athena had never worn one, let alone one designed for a ball with the Empress of Orlais. It was the faintest of pinks, a color that complimented her grey skin. The bodice was fitted and strapless, made from dragon's skin. It seamlessly flowed into a thin satin skirt that fluttered around her legs with every step, a high slit on one side allowing freedom of movement and glimpses of her muscular legs. 

“I almost look human,” she whispered, standing in front of a full length mirror. 

“You look breathtaking by any standard.” Dorian said, and Athena swore she saw tears in his eyes. 

“Do you think Bull will like it?” 

“Here is the Herald of Andraste, the great Inquisitor herself, survivor of avalanches and killer of Dragons, and she wants to know if some man she likes will be impressed.” Dorian shook his head and chuckled. “If he isn't, then he's not worth your time. But my dear, you are giving me pause for a moment to reconsider, so you must be doing something right.” 

They all stood at the door waiting for Athena. She slowly came down the stairs, walking the way Vivienne taught her so her hips swayed ever so slightly. She broke into a nervous smile as she watched her friends jaws’ drop. 

Solas inclined his head and smiled, “Inquisitor,” he said, softly. 

“My lady,” Blackwall bowed deeply and then elbowed Cullen who was staring at her, baffled. 

“What? Oh! Inquisitor, you look…” he blushed and bowed low. 

Slowly everyone walked towards the carriages. Bull slid next to Athena, offered her his elbow, and escorted her out the door. 

“Varric,” Cole whispered from behind, “why is everyone wondering about what is under the Inquisitor’s dress?” 

Varric cleared his throat nervously, “Kid, I'll tell you that when you're older.” 

“Well, we don't need a mind reader to know what I'm thinking. You look beautiful, Boss.” 

She leaned her head against Bull’s shoulder. “Tonight, could you just use my name?” 

“Anything for you, Athena.” 

========================

Orlesians are nothing if not predictable. Athena was mistaken for a pet, mercenary, and was told point blank that her “kind” was not welcomed. The endless parade of masks and passive aggressive comments made her dizzy, but Leliana and Josephine kept telling her she was doing well. After what felt like hours of small talk and posturing she finally found Bull near an hors d’ouvres table. 

"You got something that needs killing?" He asked, leaning up against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. "Because these nobles keep messing with me and they don't think I know they're doing it. This keeps up, I'm going to wear somebody's skull as my fancy little mask." He growled. 

"Anything catch your eye?" 

He smiled at her and pointed at an empty plate on the table. 

"They've got these candied nuts with some kind of spice on them. They're sweet until you swallow and then, BAM, hot...Uh, nothing on the assassinations, though." 

She laughed softly. 

"Talk to you later, Bull." 

“I’ll just stay here and eat.” 

“Will you save me one or two of those little cakes? I'm starving and have to go meet another member of the council.” 

“I'll save you a whole damned platter and an bottle of bubbly if you sort this shit show out.” 

“As long as we can enjoy that privately, maybe after the ball?” 

“Gladly.” 

She found Dorian pouting in the garden, a glass of wine in hand.

"You look like you're having as much fun as I am," she muttered, resting her head on top of his. She closed her eyes and listened to hum of conversation as it mixed with the music. 

"I needed some air."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with the gaggle of admirers harassing poor Cullen, would it?"

Dorian shook his head, but his eyes told a different story.

"You know," Athena mentioned, taking a sip from Dorian's glass. "He was asked if he was married."

"Was he now?"

Athena nodded. "Yep. Said he wasn't...but he was...what was it he said? Spoken for? I thought that was interesting."

Dorian took his wine glass back and took a sip to hide his smile. "Well, he is an interesting man."

"Isn't he? I thought I smelled your cologne the last time I was in his office."

Dorian, to his credit, blushed slightly.

"Alright," Athena straightened herself and kissed her friend on the temple. "I'm going to go see if Celene will meet with me now."

"I'll be here." 

=============================

Most of the events of Halamshiral were a blurred mixture of polite conversation, dancing, veiled threats, and mutilated servants. But, finally, after reconciling Celene and Briala and ending the civil war, Athena had time to breathe. Standing on the balcony she watched the stars come out and felt the cold winter air on her skin. Bull was soon at her side. 

“They ran out of that cheese dip. I asked for more and they gave me this look. Those assholes. How you doing, Boss?” 

“Surprisingly well. Things went according to plan for once.” 

They stood for a few minutes together, the music drifted through the balcony doors over the din of laughter and conversation. 

“The music finally has enough of a beat to it.” He held his hand out. She smiled and took it. 

He pulled her into his arms and seamlessly began to move in time with the music. She was grateful they were on the balcony. She wanted this moment to be between her and Bull. The music played on and she leaned her head against his chest. 

“I could do this all night,” she murmured. 

Bull twirled and dipped her, kissing her deeply as the music faded. 

“Did the Ben-Hassrath teach you to dance?” She giggled. Bull smiled. 

“I'm full of surprises.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some NSFW below.

The Iron Bull was nothing if not true to his word. That night, no sooner had she dismissed the servants then there was a quiet knock at her door. Athena opened it a crack to see Bull with a plate of small cakes and bottle of wine. She widened the door and he slid in noiselessly. 

“As promised,” he said, and pulled the cork out from the bottle and poured her a glass. Athena realized how hungry she was and eagerly ate the petit fours. 

“These are so good.” 

“I didn't realize you had such a sweet tooth. I've been working with Josephine and Varric, to get something sent from Par Vollen that you've got to try.” 

“Gladly.” 

They sat quietly together, sipping the wine. Bull never pushed to fill silences, which Athena appreciated. She reached for his hand. 

“We need to talk about what happened between us.” 

“Oh, that. Sure. What’s on your mind?” 

“You are…and I’d like you on the rest of me, too.” The fizzy wine went straight to her head. She blushed. 

Bull smiled. “I thought I read you right. Ben-Hassrath training, remember? Grew up learning how to manipulate people.” He threaded his fingers through hers. “When it's a hostile target, you give them what they want. But when it's someone you care about…you give them what they need.” 

“I have a need,” she squeezed his hand. He turned her so their eyes met. 

“And I can meet that need. But first, ground rules, just so everyone's clear: I will never hurt you without your permission; you will always be safe. If you are ever uncomfortable, if you ever want me to stop, you say ‘katoh’ and its over. No questions asked.” 

"You have it down to a system.” 

"Systems are comfortable, and my goal is to make you very comfortable." Bull pulled her close, his mouth close to her ear as he whispered, “you don’t need to be afraid, unless you want to.” 

She felt chills run down her spine and her pulse quickened. She moaned softly and leaned against him. 

“Take me.”

“Can do.”

Bulls mouth was soon over hers, his hands sliding under her dress and caressing her legs. Athena started to unbutton his shirt and ran her nails across his exposed skin. Bull pulled her into his lap and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He groaned and pressed his hips against her. Athena raked her hands over his shoulders, tracing his tattoos. His hands, so large but so gentle, began to unfasten the bodice. Athena wriggled in his lap, feeling him grow hard underneath her. 

He stood her up and the dress fell to the floor. He pulled her hair lose and it tumbled down her back. She looked up at him, naked but for her small clothes. Bull held her face in his hands. He then kissed her on the lips, and his hands traveled down her neck and he cupped her breasts, squeezing her nipples, gently at first, and then a little harder. He kept his eye fixed on her face. The pain shocked her initially, but slowly gave into pleasure. She purred and ran her hand down his torso, tugging at his pants. 

He nibbled down her neck and took one of her nipples in his mouth. Athena moaned as he nipped his way down her stomach. He pulled her small clothes off and kissed down one thigh. Athena’s nails scratched at the top of Bull’s head as she felt the swift flick of his tongue between her legs. It took all her effort to remain standing as he opened her with his fingers and mouth, gentle pressure and slow, steady movements. One finger entered her and she practically fell over, murmuring his name. 

Bull picked her up and tossed her onto the bed. He quickly dropped his trousers and stepped out of his boots. In one hand he held a silk ribbon, the color of blood. He grabbed her wrists and quickly bound them over her head, tight enough that she could not get out but loose enough to be comfortable. “I promise I will never hurt you.” He repeated earnestly. “What do you say if you want me to stop?” 

“Katoh,” Athena whispered. 

“Good. Now I’m going to show you all the things I was thinking about tonight. Did you know pink was my favorite color?” His fingers were inside her and his mouth nibbled at one of her breasts. Athena cried out and shook her head. 

“Well,” Bull whispered in her ear, “now you know a secret of mine.” 

His touch shifted between tender and rough, his mouth exploring every inch of her until she was limp and every nerve in her body was on fire. She had lost the ability to speak at some point and simply muttered his name. After what felt like hours Bull pulled her up by her wrists and held her gaze. 

“Would you like me to fuck you?” 

His eyes were dark with desire. Athena nodded, biting her lower lip. Bull kissed her on the lips, his tongue in her mouth, soft and gentle. He pulled her arms around his neck so she faced him. He held her hips as he lowered her onto him. Slowly. Athena cried out and arched her back as she felt him fill her. Bull grunted and tightened his grip on her hips, his fingers bruising her skin. He then pulled out again and before Athena could protest he slammed back into her, hard and fast. He alternated his speed and within minutes, Athena was climaxing. He picked up the pace and was thrusting deep into her, his hands holding her against him. 

“Bull,” Athena cried out. “Please!” 

He roared and held her against him, she could feel him jerk inside her as he came. He buried his head in her neck and lowered her onto the bed, pulling the ribbon and releasing her hands. He flopped down next to her and she rolled on top of him, kissing him sleepily. 

“You’ll stay the night, won’t you?” 

“If you want. It does mean that others may find out about this.” 

Athena traced the tattoo on his shoulder with her finger. “I don’t care. Unless, you don’t want them to—“ 

“No.” Bull interrupted. “What I want it to give you what you need. And if you need me to stay, I stay.” 

“I need you to stay,” Athena muttered sleepily as she buried her head into his chest. She listened to the slow steady thrum of his heartbeat and drifted off to sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

Athena’s days were spent in meetings with her advisors or important visiting nobles. At night she would venture down to the Herald’s Rest where Bull and his Chargers would have taken over half the tavern. Dorian, Blackwall, Sera, and Varric and Hawke often joined to drink or play cards. Occasionally Dorian would drag Cullen from behind his desk to have a pint and relax. Bull would then walk Athena back to her room and stay until dawn, slipping out before the servants came in with her tea. 

When they were on the road their physical contact was limited to their evenings by the fire. Bull would sit on a small three-legged stool and Athena would sit on the ground in front of him. He would unbind her hair and then brush it out, massaging her scalp and neck as his fingers ran through her hair. He would then braid it loosely. After he was done, Athena would rest her head in his lap and he would trace her face with his fingers. Sometimes Cole would sit quietly and watch them but never intruded upon their ritual. Bull still slept in his own tent, and at night Athena ached for his warm embrace and the quiet rumble of his breath as he slept. She wondered if he missed her. 

Winter trudged on and they fought their way through Emprise Du Lion, clearing out Red Templars and destroying the mines they were using to harvest Red Lyrium. The bitter cold was relentless, but they had been told that the first signs of a thaw had begun near the coast, and troops would begin moving toward the Western Approach to assault Adamant Fortress. 

They were a night away from Skyhold. The ground was still white with snow but the wind had died and the stars were out. Athena stared at the sky, so different from the one she grew up studying, as Bull pulled the scarlet ribbon out of her hair.

“You kept it.” He said quietly. 

“I did.” 

Bull ran his fingers through her hair and began to brush it. The silence lasted several minutes. Finally, Athena spoke. 

“Bull, how do Qunari show that they’re serious about a relationship?” She tried to keep her voice light and careless. She felt Bull’s hands still for a second and then he resumed brushing her hair. 

“They don’t. We don’t have sex for love.” He waited a moment before continuing. “But for someone we really care about there is an old tradition. You find a dragon’s tooth, break it in half, and each wear a piece. Then, no matter how far apart life takes you, you’re always together.” 

“Oh, a _dragon’s tooth_ , is that all?” 

__“You asked.” They sat in silence as he began to plait her hair._ _

__“Bull?”_ _

__“Yes, Boss?”_ _

__“I miss you.”_ _

__“I’m right here.”_ _

__Athena turned around and fixed him with a hard stare. “You know what I mean.”_ _

__“I do. But I won’t tomorrow, because we’ll be back at Skyhold.” Athena smiled and Bull leaned in and whispered in her ear. “And when I’m done with you, you’re gonna be walking funny.”__

=======================

There was palpable energy as they returned to Skyhold that morning. Cullen had been overseeing the troop deployments but was there to greet them, taking time to help both Athena and Dorian with their horses. Krem and half the Chargers were there to greet Bull in person and beg for him to get them put on the front lines of the assault. And Bull would promise to ask and claim he argued with her, but that the Inquisitor refused to change their assignment. That night he would thank her for keeping them in a supporting role, for she saw how important his Kith was. That rag-tag group of mercenaries was the closest Bull ever came to family, and Athena would never be the reason they were taken away from him. Hawke was heading out the next day but waited to greet Varric and they went off to drink and play cards. 

===============================

She used the weeks after their campaign in Emprise de Lion to settle into a comfortable routine at Skyhold. She would take her breakfast in her room as she reviewed reports and met with Josephine to discuss any urgent matters. She would then spend her morning training, usually with Blackwall, but sometimes Cassandra. She and Bull would sneak off to have lunch in his room and get a few moments alone. Then she might watch him train with the Chargers or would walk around Skyhold to check on improvements to the grounds, requisitions, the Armory, or work in the garden. She would play chess with Cullen, read in the library with Dorian, have tea with Vivienne, or sit in the solarium and talk to Solas about his travels in the Fade. After supper she would meet with her advisors in the War Room. Then, after the sun had set over Skyhold, Athena would join her companions in the Herald’s Rest for drinks. It was a comforting routine. 

__

__One afternoon, she swung by the tavern to meet Bull for lunch but he was nowhere to be found. His room was empty. As was hers. Finally, after searching the grounds she heard a commotion near the training ground near the barracks._ _

__

__She found half of the Chargers red faced and panting over by the sparring grounds. Cassandra stood next to Blackwall and a dozen Inquisition recruits, half of whom were breathing heavily and wincing._ _

__“What's going on?” Athena asked._ _

__“The Iron Bull decided to assist in training this morning.” Cassandra raised and eyebrow and inclined her head towards the center ring. There stood Bull with a large wooden shield and training sword taking on four recruits and Krem. Drenched in sweat, Bull charged through the recruits and sent them scattering to the ground. Krem managed to at least absorb some of Bull’s charge._ _

__“Lieutenant Aclassi’s been out there all morning. I'm impressed.” Blackwall noted._ _

__“Well, Cullen did want the recruits to block with their shields. Guess that's one way to do it.” Cassandra glared at Athena. “Oh, Cullen wanted you two to work shields with the recruits, didn't he?”_ _

__Blackwall shrugged. “He got here first.”_ _

__“Ugh,” Cassandra kicked the post. “That's not even a proper shield bash, his technique is TERRIBLE.”_ _

__“He's an eight foot tall wall of charging muscle, he doesn't need technique. At this point physics works in his favor.” Athena countered. Cassandra glared at her. “But I'll stop him,” she added hastily. And hopped over the fence._ _

__Most of the recruits either ran off when they noticed her coming. Bull seemed oblivious. He took a running start and crashed into Krem, who, to his credit, managed to deflect most of Bull’s momentum before he fell to his knees._ _

__“Oh, come on, Krem! I'm working my ass off trying to get you to see that move!” Bull shouted._ _

__“You've still got plenty of ass left, chief! Oh, uh, your worship,” he said as he rose, brushing his knees off. His hair clung to his forehead and he was soaked through with sweat._ _

__“Oh, hey Boss,” Bull seemed to finally register her presence. She nodded towards the other recruits and they scattered in all directions._ _

__“Glad you came by. I got a letter from my contacts in the Ben-Hassrath. Already verified it with Red.”_ _

___How about, sorry about lunch?_ But her curiosity overrode her irritation. “What did the letter say?” __

____“The Ben-Hassrath have been reading my reports. They don't like Corypheus or his Venatori. And they _really_ don't like red lyrium. They're ready to work with us. With you, Boss. The Qunari and the Inquisition, joining forces.” ___ _

______“Really?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull nodded._ _ _ _ _ _

______“My people have never made a full blown alliance with a foreign power before. This would be a big step. They found a massive red lyrium shipping operation on the coast.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“They want us to hit it together, even talked about bringing in one of their Dreadnaughts.” Krem was practically bouncing, he was so excited. “I've always wanted to see one of those big warships in action.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull suddenly charged him and knocked him over._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Did you see that!?!” He shouted. “Go get some water.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______For a moment Athena swore she could see tears in Krem's eyes, but he walked off, head held high._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Bull!” Athena grabbed his elbow and walked over to the corner of the ring where no one could hear them. “What's going on?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“They're worried about tipping the smugglers, so no army. My Chargers, you, maybe some backup.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“What does this alliance really get us?” She couldn't help but feel paranoid._ _ _ _ _ _

______“They wouldn't use the word alliance if they didn't mean it. Naval power, more Ben-Hassrath reports, Qunari soliders pointed at the Venatori. It could do a lot of good.” He was looking around as he spoke._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You don't seem entirely happy about this.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“No, I'm good. It's…umm…I guess I just got used to them being over there. It's been a while.”_ _ _ _ _ _

_______Me too_ , she thought. __ _ _ _ _

________“I thought the Qunari wanted to extend their reach to the whole world.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Yeah…just didn't think I'd see it…look the Qun answers a lot of questions. It's a good life for a lot of people. But it's a big change, and a lot of folks here wouldn't do so well under that kind of life.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Like me,_ she thought, _and Varric, Sera, and Dorian…___ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“I guess it's not like we're converting,” Bull seemed to be speaking to himself more than to her. “This is just us joining forces against Corypheus. On that front, I think we're good.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________She paused for a moment and studied his face. He was dripping with sweat and he looked at her expectantly. She sighed._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“If it means that much to you, we can look into it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Bull grinned._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________“Good, I'll pass on word to Cullen and Red. We can set up the meeting whenever you're ready.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________He walked off towards the tavern. Athena marched over to the rookery to talk to Leliana._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	24. Chapter 24

I don't like it,” Athena said that evening in the War Room. “I don't trust the Qunari.” 

“But The Iron Bull…” Cullen started. 

“Look, I trust Bull. I don't trust the people giving him orders.” 

“An alliance with the Qunari would be unprecedented,” Josephine observed. 

“Okay, the political and military power it would provide is impressive, yes. Leliana?” 

Leliana tapped at her cheek, thinking. “It is interesting that they insist on Bull bringing his Chargers to the rendezvous point. But it is valuable information…” 

“I feel out voted on this one,” Athena grumbled. 

Cullen placed his hand on her shoulder. 

“Take a small team to the Coast, it should only be a few days, and you can still travel to the Western Approach with the last of our troops.” 

Athena nodded and dismissed her advisors. She took supper in her room and sent a runner to tell Iron Bull she'd like to see him before they left the next morning. She sat in bed and read reports as she waited, but Bull never came. 

 

They rode out before dawn and Bull stuck by the Chargers for the whole trip. When they arrived at the rendezvous point the weather had picked up. Rain and sleet stung their faces as the wind whipped off the water. 

“Alright, Our contact should be here to meet us.” Bull was edgy and clearly avoiding eye contact. Athena was becoming impatient. 

“He is,” an elf stepped out from the bushes. He carried a tension that made Athena feel he was about to explode. “Good to see you again, Hissrad.” 

“Gatt!” Bull exclaimed, feigning excitement, “last I heard you were still in Seheron! didn't know they let you out.” 

“They finally decided I'd calmed down enough to go back out into the world.” 

“Boss, this is Gatt, we worked together in Seheron.” 

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Inquisitor. Hissrad’s reports say your doing good work.” 

Athena inclined her head to acknowledge the elf, then turned to Bull. 

“Why is he calling you Hissrad?” 

Gatt sneered at her. “Under the Qun we use titles, not names.” She ignored him and kept looking at Bull. 

“My title was Hissrad, because I was assigned to secret work. You could translate it as ‘keeper of illusions,’ or—“ 

“Liar. It means liar.” Gatt fixed Athena with a hard stare. She got out one of her small throwing knives and began playing with it, a habit she developed when she was angry and needed to control her temper. _What else haven't you told me? _She thought.__

__“Well, you don't have to say it like _that _.” Bull replied. Gatt’s presence unnerved him too, it seemed.___ _

____Athena nodded and said nothing._ _ _ _

____“Hopefully this will help both out peoples. Tevinter is dangerous enough without the influence of this Venatori cult—“_ _ _ _

____“Yes, filthy decadent brutes, the lot of them,” Dorian said, “I'm certain life would be much better for all of us under the Qun.” Athena glared at him and he quieted._ _ _ _

____“With this stuff the ‘Vints could make their slaves into an army of magical freaks.” Bull interjected. “We could lose Seheron…and see a giant Tevinter army come marching back down here.”_ _ _ _

____“The Ben-Hassrath agree. That's why we're here.” He pointed up the coast. “Our Dreadnought is safely out of view and out of range of any Venatori mages on shore. We'll need to eliminate the Venatori, then signal the Dreadnought so it can come in and take out the smugglers ship.”_ _ _ _

____“What's your take on this mission, _Hissrad _?” She asked casually, spinning the knife on the barrel next to her. If her words had any impact on him it did not show.___ _ _ _

______“Don't know. I've never like covering a Dreadnaught run. Too many ways for crap to go wrong.” He took a deep breath. “If our scouts underestimate enemy numbers we’re dead. If we can't lock down the Venatori mages, the ship is dead. It's risky.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Riskier than letting red lyrium into Minrathous?” Gatt replied. Bull growled in response. Gatt continued talking. “My agents suggested two possible locations the Venatori may camped to guard the shore. We'll need to split up and hit both at once.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull sighed and looked over at Athena._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I'll come with you, Boss. Krem can lead the Chargers. Let me fill him in. Come by when you are ready to move.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______She nodded and walked over to Varric and Dorian._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Anyone else waiting for a knife in the back?” Varric asked aloud._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Something feels, off, doesn't it,” Dorian asked her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I still don't understand why they needed Bull and his Chargers specifically," she kept playing with one of her throwing knives until Dorian quieted her hands with his._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And you,” Varric added._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Could this be a trap?” Dorian wondered._ _ _ _ _ _

______“The intel was good,” she said. “No, this feels like a test. I'm just not sure who for. I packed extra knives just in case.” And walked over to check with Bull._ _ _ _ _ _

______He was going over the plan with the Chargers._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Don't stay any longer than you need to. Get in, hit the target, and get out.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Yes MOTHER,” Krem rolled his eyes._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull looked over at Athena, she could see worry behind his good eye. “Alright, when this is over, drinks are on me! Horns up!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“HORNS UP!!” They roared, gleefully, and took off toward the far hill. Bull watched them go off._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You're not going with them?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______He shook his head._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Today, Hissrad,” Gatt brushed past them, knocking into Athena._ _ _ _ _ _

______“If that elf thinks he's got a bad temper he's never seen me angry,” she hissed, and turned to look at Bull, jabbing him in the chest with her finger. “And neither have you. Fair warning.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull just dropped his head and followed behind Gatt._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______They took out the first two groups of Venatori with little fanfare. Stealth had never been Athena's strong suit, but the wind allowed them extra coverage and her aim with her throwing daggers was improving. But Bull did the same thing Blackwall did, which was get in her way._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I can handle them,” she grumbled as she wiped her dagger clean using a dead Venatori mage’s robe._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You don't carry a shield, Boss.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Neither do you.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Well, I don't wear leather armor either.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Shit, Tiny, you barely wear anything,” Varric quipped._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You gave your men the easier target, Hissrad.” Gatt cut in, dismissing Varric with a wave of his hand. Dorian grabbed her wrist as she went for one of the many throwing knives Dagna and Harritt had designed for her._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Ignore the Basalt’an,” he hissed gently into her ear. “We don't need a war with the Qunari.” Athena gritted her teeth._ _ _ _ _ _

______“You think so?” Bull sounded surprised._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Farther away from the target, further inland…”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, well, more work for us I suppose. Nothing we can’t handle.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______They finally got to the main camp and quickly dispatched the men stationed there. Dorian lit the signal with a wave of his hand._ _ _ _ _ _

______“And my guys already have their’s lit.” Bull puffed with pride._ _ _ _ _ _

______Out from the mist came the Dreadnought. It was huge and moved with a surprising amount of speed and agility. Not unlike Qunari themselves, she thought. It quickly caught the Venatori smuggling ship and sank it with a few thunderous booms._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Haha! Look at that!” Bull whooped. She could see tension leaving his body. He, too, had been waiting for something to go wrong._ _ _ _ _ _

______And then, just like every time things seem to be going well, the wind shifts and shit goes sideways. Several hooded figures came up the beach. And up the side of the hill the Chargers were holding._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Oh, shit!” Bull’s shoulders slumped. This was what he had been afraid of._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Bull, pull your men out of there,” Athena pointed and shook his arm. “They'll get killed.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You pull your men and we lose the Dreadnought,” Gatt cut in._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull looked down at the elf, “they're my men!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“You’d be throwing away an alliance with the Qunari. You'd be declaring yourself Tal-Vashoth!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull looked between Athena and Gatt. She scowled at him. “I can't believe you are even hesitating! Call them back!”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Gatt shoved her out of the way and stood in front of Bull._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Half the Ben-Hassrath think you've gone rouge. I stood up for you. Hissrad, please.” Gatt pleaded._ _ _ _ _ _

______Athena pointed her dagger at Gatt. “His name is Iron Bull.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull looked between Gatt and Athena and sighed. He pulled out his horn and blew. The Chargers heard the call and backed down the hill, not a moment too soon._ _ _ _ _ _

______“I suppose it is,” Gatt noted. And walked off into the woods. Varric kept Bianca pointed at the Elf until he was out of sight._ _ _ _ _ _

______Bull stood at the edge of the cliff, watching the Venatori cast fire and launch it at the Dreadnought._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Won't be long now,” he said quietly._ _ _ _ _ _

______Athena started to run down the slope but he grabbed her arm. She turned to look at him but he was watching the ship._ _ _ _ _ _

______“Bull, when the Dreadnought sinks—“ _I can swim, maybe pull some people out to shore _._ _ _ _ _ _ __

________“Sinks?” Bull shook his head. “A Qunari Dreadnaught doesn't sink.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________And as if on cue, the large ship exploded, leaving nothing but splinters floating in the waves. Athena slid her hand into his and squeezed it. He squeezed back. And then dropped her hand and walked back down the hill towards their camp._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Let's get back to Skyhold, Boss.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________They rode back to Skyhold in relative silence. The Chargers were their usual jovial selves, and Bull put on a good face, but he was quiet and withdrawn. They arrived with little fanfare late at night and all retired to their rooms without a word._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of angst. I never really thought that a Qunari/Vashoth Inquisitor would handle Bull's reactions to being Tal Vashoth very well. I also think that Bull is complicated and can get angry and frustrated just as anyone else. So I elaborated on the conflict.

They next morning she looked for Bull and found him with Krem by the practice dummies Cassandra had set up behind the Herald’s Rest. 

“Your worship,” he said. 

“You're late,” Bull chastised. 

“Sorry, Chief, still sore from killing all those ‘Vints.” 

“It got a little touchy out there,” Athena fixed Bull with a hard stare. 

“Ah, we knew you and The Chief had our backs.” 

Athena thought to say something but Bull held up a shield and knocked into Krem. “Eh, rest up, you're doing just fine.” He clapped Krem on the back and dismissed his lieutenant. Who walked off with a stunned grin on his face. 

“Well, at least I had his back.” Athena crossed her arms and glared at Bull. 

“Look, Boss—“ 

But he was cut off when he saw her hiss and pull the small dagger she kept in her boot. He turned and there stood Gatt. 

“How did YOU get in here?” She demanded. 

“I am here to inform you that there will be no alliance with the Qunari, nor will you be receiving any information from your Tal-Vashoth ally.” 

Bull sighed deeply. “Are you here to kill me, Gatt?” 

“Fuck that,” Athena stood between Bull and Gatt, ready to fight. 

But Gatt simply shook his head. “The Ben-Hassrath already lost one good man, they'd rather not lose two.” He fixed Bull with a stern look. “But don't forget what we know.” 

And he walked off. Athena yelled and threw her dagger. It landed smack in the middle of the training dummy's chest. She looked at Bull. 

“What do they know?” 

“A lot of stuff.” 

“Bull, do I have to worry about someone coming after you?” 

He shrugged. 

“Then, can we talk about…about all of this?” 

“Sure, Boss. Meet me in the ramparts near dawn.” 

“Tomorrow? You want to talk about this _tomorrow _?!”__

__“I gotta clear my head.”_ _

__Athena pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep, cleansing breath. She walked over to the practice dummy and pulled out her dagger. She looked back at him. “The entrance near your room?”_ _

__“Sure. That works.”_ _

__Athena glared at him and stomped off. She found Cassandra walking towards the training grounds and asked her to spar. She needed to hit something._ _

__

==============================

__The next morning she woke early and dressed warmly. There was still a chill in the air despite the fact that it was supposed to be spring. The sun was rising over the mountains and no one was up yet. Athena walked along the battlements and hopped up on the wall. It had been Blackwall who had suggested she work on her agility, and she had gotten into the habit of climbing and walking the rafters in the stables and the stone walls surrounding Skyhold when no one was around to yell at her to come down. Blackwall had even built her a balance beam so she would stop scaling the walls, terrified she'd fall._ _

__It did not stop her, she had always been a climber. So she walked along the wall as she waited for Bull, balancing first on one leg, then on the other. She had managed a handstand a few times but had difficulty planting her feet in front of her consistently. She stood and noticed Bull walking out from the tavern towards her._ _

__She liked to watch him when he didn't think anyone was looking at him. When he was just Bull and not trying to hide his feelings or thoughts from the world. She wondered if his Ben-Hassrath training would last now that he was Tal-Vashoth. _Now that I've made him Tal-Vashoth _. She didn't regret saving the Chargers, just like she did not regret saving those Inquisition soldiers who were pinned in by bandits. Gatt and Cullen could talk about the ‘bigger picture’ but she would not betray the people who trusted her. Yes, that is what she would say to him to explain her thinking.___ _

____She waved to Bull but he did not wave back. In fact, he was walking towards her just a little too intensely, as if he was trying to appear casual while moving as quickly as possible._ _ _ _

____The tower door behind him opened and two Inquisition scouts walked out. Just doing rounds. Except Cullen had the scouts patrol in opposite directions to maximize their presence on the walls. And these two were moving in one direction, together. Athena jumped off the wall. Bull was only twenty feet away when she saw the glint of a blade in the scout’s hand._ _ _ _

____“Bull!” She cried out. And reached for Shrokakar's dagger in her boot._ _ _ _

____“I got it, I got it!” Bull yelled as he punched one of the scouts, knocking him over. Then the other threw a blade that landed in Bull’s shoulder._ _ _ _

____Athena felt rooted to the ground as she watched Bull pull the knife out of his shoulder and throw it into the throat of the offending scout, who dropped to the ground._ _ _ _

____“Ebost issala, Tal-Vashoth,” the other shouted as he ran at Bull, knives in hand. Bull easily disarmed the man and hoisted him over the battlements._ _ _ _

____“Yeah, yeah, my soul’s dust! Your’s is scattered all over the ground though so…” He staggered back and pressed his hand against the wound on his shoulder. “Sorry about that Boss, I thought I might need backup. I guess I’m not even worth sending professionals for…”_ _ _ _

____“Bull, your arm,” Athena went to touch him and he waved her off. “But they could have used poison!”_ _ _ _

____“Oh, they _definitely _used poison. Saar-qamek, liquid form. If I hadn't doused myself with the antidote I'd be going crazy and puking my guts out right now. As it is, it stings like shit, but that’s about it.”___ _ _ _

______She scowled at him. “You knew the assassins were coming?”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“Little change in the guard rotation tipped me off.”_ _ _ _ _ _

______“So why didn't you tell me ahead of time?” _And what else don’t you tell me?__ _ _ _ _ _

________“Did you go through years of Ben-Hassrath training to hide facial expressions when I wasn’t looking?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Athena glared at him, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Bull chuckled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“See, like that. If I’d warned you or the guards, the assassins would have been tipped off.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Are you alright?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Fine, hurt myself worse than this fooling around in bed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“Are you interested in getting some payback?” _Because I certainly am _. She realized she was still holding her dagger. She slid it back into it's slot in her boot.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“Against who? The entire Ben-Hassrath? Besides, this wasn’t serious.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She sighed and leaned against the cool stone wall. “I had hoped the Ben-Hassrath would let you go.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________Bull looked wistful, “They did. Sending two guys with blades against me? It's not a hit, that’s a formality. Just making it clear that I'm Tal-Vashoth. Tal-Va-fucking-shoth.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________She glared at him. “You acted as a Tal-Vashoth for years. That didn’t change you. Neither does this.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________“That was just a role. This is my life. As one of those…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________Those _? She made no effort to hide her expression, but he kept talking.__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________“I’ve killed hundreds of Tal-Vashoth in Seheron. Bandits, murderers, bastards who turned their back on the Qun. And now I’m one of them.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________She took a ragged breath and looked down. A tear slid down her cheek. _Is that what we are _?___ “So, are you sad about losing what you had, or worrying that some of the Tal-Vashoth you killed were like you?” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I don't know. Both, I guess?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She wanted to punch him in the face. She rounded on him, tears falling freely down her face._ “You’re not Tal-Vashoth. That’s a Qunari word and you don’t follow the Qun any longer. You’re Iron Bull, mercenary captain for the Inquisition.” _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“I can live with that.” He had been studying his shoulder while he talked, and when he saw her face his eye widened. He went to touch her but pulled his hand back. “Boss, whatever I miss, whatever I regret…this is where I want to be. Whenever you need an ass kicked, the Iron Bull is with you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________She said nothing, just glared at him, tears streaming down her face. He sighed. “I’m going to get this cleaned off and let Red know what happened.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________He walked off towards the infirmary and she stood looking out over the mountains, crying. She heard a voice whisper behind her and spun around. No one was there. She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. It was quiet for a moment, just the sound of the wind whipping around the stone walls._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“He will never forgive you, you know.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________“What?” She asked. Again, no one. _Great, now I’m hearing voices _. She debated talking to Dorian and using the time to cool off, or to go after Bull. The smarter thing would be to see Dorian. She stomped off towards the infirmary.___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________The infirmary took up the first two floors of the circle tower. The first floor was filled with row after row of beds used for triage, wound treatment, and stabilizing patients. The second floor held storage, a surgical theater, and a few private rooms for sick or contagious patients. The morning light floated in through the sheer curtains which blew in the gentle breeze._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________There were a few soldiers sleeping quietly in their beds, legs or arms in splints. One sat quietly reading as a nearby Mage healer studied a burn on the hand of a member of the kitchen staff. In the back a group of young women were giggling and surrounded Bull, who had his back to her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Of course,” she muttered, her irritation mounting. She walked slowly toward him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Two assassins at once?” One young human girl tittered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You are so brave,” another woman added as she finished wrapping the wound on his shoulder._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“It wasn’t really that—“ Bull started._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“He is so modest, isn’t he? I told you he was humble.” A third girl cut him off and said to a fourth girl, who nodded emphatically._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“And you said it was poisoned?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Yes, but I already took the antidote, so it just need to make sure it's clean.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You haven’t been around recently,” the first girl tsked. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay for lunch?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________The second girl’s hands lingered on his shoulder, and then ran down his chest and stomach, “Or we could skip lunch and move straight to dessert.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Bull grabbed the girl's hand, “I—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Athena cleared her throat. The four healers all looked up, startled._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“If you are quite finished with him, might I have a word?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Bull turned and saw Athena. He looked and noticed he was still holding one of the healer’s hands. He dropped it and they all ran off, blushing furiously._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Boss—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Athena rounded on him. “Don’t Boss me. Not after what you said.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________Bull waved her off and walked out of the infirmary, Athena followed him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Not now, Boss.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Yes, now.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________They were halfway towards the tavern. Athena ran in front of him to cut him off. He stopped, crossed his arms in front of his chest, and glared at her. “What?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“You don’t have to say Tal-Vasoth like it's an insult.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“This isn’t about you boss.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“But I’m Tal-Vashoth too, just like you.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“No, you’re not. Not really.” He jabbed his finger into her shoulder. “You grew up with a family. You never knew anything different.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________“Oh, good, so I’m not just one of _those _Tal-Vashoth. Like my parents? Or Shrokakar? You know, the people who fucking raised me?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I’ve seen what going Tal-Vashoth does.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“So you think you’re just going to magically change into someone else? Bullshit, you’re a good man.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Without the Qun to live by—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________She shoved him, hard._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Hey, you’re a good man. If the Ben-Hassrath don’t see that, it's their loss.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________He glared at her._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“You don't understand, you had your parents. In Seheron the Tal-Vashoth were like animals. We need the Qun to keep us in control.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“The Ben-Hassrath asked too much of you.” She said quietly._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Bull growled. Athena stepped towards him. Her fists balled at her side._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Where would the line have been, Bull? They want you to pay in blood. In Krem’s blood, Dalish and Skinner’s, and Grim’s and—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“I get it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Do you?” Her voice rose and she shouted up at him. “How much would have been to much? What about me, Bull?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“But without orders…”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Again with the fucking orders. Do you know what your Ben-Hassrath do to people on orders? Do you know what the Ben-Hassrath did to me? To my family? Those were fucking orders.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________Bull’s face registered shock and then anger._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Vasheden, you don't understand—“_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________“Then explain to me, if I am such a child, explain why my mother had to die.” She was crying and didn't care who saw. “Tell me this, _Hissrad _, if you weren't Tal-Vashoth and you got orders to kill me, would you?”___ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He opened his mouth but made no sound. Her voiced dropped to a whisper._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“Would you, Bull? How would you do it? Slice a blade across my throat while I slept next to you? Or maybe poison me while we ate together? Or would it just look like an accident? What orders did they give you? Am I just another conquest of yours, like those healers? Or was bedding me an order too?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________He dropped his head and looked down at his feet._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I thought you trusted me.” He whispered._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________She felt as if someone was squeezing her heart._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________“I need to know. Would you follow those orders if you were still Ben-Hassrath? Could you kill me? Do you even want me?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________Or was this all just part of the role _?__ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________They stood in silence for several minutes. Athena took a step back from him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“Well, I'm glad you're going to be okay. We ride for Adamant tomorrow and I expect the Chargers to join us. They'll be part of the surge once we breach the walls. They wanted to be on the front lines, didn’t they?” She walked away._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________“No.” Bull said quietly.“I couldn't do it.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________But she didn't hear him._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _


	26. Chapter 26

Athena spent most of that afternoon going over the battle strategy. Cullen at least did not begrudge her the loss of the Qunari. He had been betrayed by Meredith back in Kirkwall and believed that she had made the right call. 

“Sometimes what is right is not politically convenient. Bull did right by his men. So did you.” 

“It's not easy.” 

“Few of your decisions are.” 

================================

Most of their troops had been traveling for weeks toward the Warden fortress of Adamant. Only a skeleton force, the Inquisitor, and her inner circle were left at Skyhold. After meeting with Cullen she walked by the library to see if Dorian was around but he must have been packing. Solas was painting below but she was not in the mood to hear him complain of the Qun. She thought of Sera but found herself in the stables. 

Blackwall was sanding a small Griffon toy and seemed surprised to see her. 

“I thought they would keep you in there all day.” He smiled at her. 

She hoisted herself into the table and watched him work. “I'm going to have you lead a team with Sera, combination ground forces and archers. Provided the siege is successful.” 

“Sounds reasonable, but we have two weeks of travel before then, so why are you telling me now?” 

Athena sat swinging her legs off the side of the table. It reminded her of when she was a child and would watch her father grind herbs to make poultices. Blackwall was used to her coming and watching him work, so he said nothing and went back to sanding. Athena played with one of his carving knives, tossing it in the air and catching it. 

“Bull and I argued.” 

“Lovers do that.” 

“My parents never fought.” 

Blackwall laughed. “They probably just did it well.” 

“I don't think he'll forgive me for making him Tal-Vashoth. And I’m not sure if I was just an asset or—” 

Blackwall stopped his work and took the knife from her hands. His hands and forearms were strong and tanned from working outside for years. Like her father's. She looked into his dark brown eyes. 

“He is a man who believes he is without purpose. He has only known how to fight and follow orders and needs to become a better man. The Inquisition gives him purpose. You can help him be a better man. He just doesn't see it yet. Give him time, child.” 

“Blackwall? Could you just blindly follow orders? Even if you knew those orders to be wrong, or against your heart?” 

“Maker’s balls, girl. The things you ask…” He dropped his hands looked away from her for a few moments. 

“Blackwall?” 

He sighed. “You don't want to know what men can do, when given orders by a commander they trust. But…know this. Bull did right by his men. He will come to see that sooner or later. And he will be grateful for you before the end.” 

=============================

Athena did not try to avoid Bull as they all traveled to the Western Approach but she did not seek him out. She spend most of her time with Dorian and Cullen while Bull spent most of his evenings with the Chargers. They would all sit by the fire after supper, singing and drinking. Bull put on a good face, but Athena saw him when no one else was watching and he looked miserable. She even looked up one night to find him watching her, but he quickly looked away. She missed the warmth of his arms and the smell of the ointment he rubbed on his ankle and shoulder. She wondered if he missed her, or if he was spending his nights with one of the many young healers traveling with the army. 

The night before the battle found them sharing a campfire. He sat across from her, polishing his armor while she read. She finally gathered up the courage to talk to him when Cullen came by. 

“Inquisitor. Good, you're still awake.” 

“I am.” 

“What are you reading?” 

“A history of the Grey Wardens. Did you know there used to be griffons in this area?” 

He smiled, “You remind me of Alistair when we were in training at Kinloch Hold. I have some more plans for Adamant based on sketches from our forward scouts. Let me know what you think of them in the morning.” 

She sighed and put her book down and began to rifle through the parchments Cullen had delivered. She could feel the intensity of Bull’s gaze but dared not move. 

Varric came over and sat next to Bull, handing him a mug of ale. They sat quietly for a moment before Varric spoke. 

“So, you're a free man, Tal-Vashoth.” 

Iron Bull took a sip of his ale and sighed. “Living the life. Unless you think I'm even more secretly a spy now.” 

Varric shook his head. “I think you finally decided whether you care about your people or YOUR people.” 

Iron Bull laughed softly, “Hmm... something like that.” 

“You made the right choice.” 

“So everyone keeps telling me.” 

Minutes passed. Athena began to compare the accounts of Adamant in her book with the drawings. 

“So, you gonna talk to her at least?” 

“She's right there, Varric.” 

“Oh, you know how she gets when she's reading. She can't hear a thing.” 

Athena tried to concentrate on the drawings to figure out choke points in the fortress. Her ears strained to hear their conversation. 

“I don't think she wants to talk.” 

“Tiny, can I offer you some advice? You just got your own life back, so try to minimize the regrets you'll have in it, or you'll just end up telling stories about what you wished you did. You'll regret losing her.” 

Bull sighed. 

“Fair warning big guy. Before Cole tries to intervene. He's pretty torn up about you two.” 

It grew quiet by the campfire so Athena looked up. Varric was gone and Bull sat by himself, studying his drink. 

“Salt-spray smell of Seheron. Lost in smoke from a burning ship. Guilt at not feeling guiltier.” Athena heard Cole’s quiet voice next to hear. She turned but she saw no one. She looked back at Bull and caught him watching her. She smiled and waved. He waved back. 

She collected her papers and walked over to him. 

“Hey.” 

“Hey, Boss.” 

“I have a…strategy question for you.” 

“Shoot.” 

“Cullen gave me these sketches of Adamant, right? I'm trying to figure out how big the teams we send in should be. You've probably seen old fortresses, right? Help a girl out?” 

She smiled weakly. He returned her smile. 

“Predates the second blight, right?” 

“Built during the second blight, but most of its structure is underground.” 

Bull studied the sketches and pointed a few places out. “Here and here,” he pointed. “The battlements will narrow so you can create choke points.” 

“Okay. So if we storm the gates…” 

“If you get enough troops on ladders you won't need to flood the gates with soldiers.” 

“But smaller teams?” 

“Yeah, smaller groups.” 

She nodded. She hadn't been near him for weeks and she ached for his touch. “I'm thinking mixed groups: ground troops, archers and mage's for support and damage.” 

“Makes sense.” 

She studied the map in the book. “So you and Dorian will take the Chargers to do sweeps of the battlements to the right, while Blackwall and Sera and will take a team to the left. I'll go up the center with Cassandra, Varric, Hawke, Stroud, and Solas. I figure there's likely a middle courtyard somewhere and if there is that is where they'll be doing whatever ritual.” She exhaled deeply. “But it will all likely go to shit so why do I bother?” 

“Hey, it'll be okay,” Bull wrapped his arm around her. 

She folded up the papers and put them in her book. She leaned against him for a moment. She thought suddenly of Haven, and the Chantry sister, and Bull’s mood after. She wondered what had happened. If he knew how she felt betrayed by him before it was fair to expect his fidelity. If she should still expect it. If he wanted her or if it had been orders. If he had taken that young healer's offer up after their argument. 

“How do you know?” 

“I don't, but it needs to be.” 

She yawned. 

“Time for bed, Boss.” 

She nodded. “What about you?” 

“I…uh…got things to think about.” 

“Siege starts at dawn, get some shut eye.” 

“I'll try...hey…Athena?” 

“Yes, Bull?” 

“I'll do what you need me to do tomorrow. But if that Magister or his dragon show up, I'm hauling ass to your side. You're not facing them without me. Deal?” 

“Deal.” She hesitated for a moment, but then kissed his cheek and smiled. “For luck.” 

Athena walked off to her tent, which was near enough to the fire that she could see the silhouette of Bull’s horns through the canvas. She lay on her cot and tried to fall asleep with no success. The fire dimmed and she wondered if Bull was still outside her tent. 

 

Then she heard Cole’s soft voice. 

" _Tama, how will I follow the Qun? _Her hands, strong but gentle, rubs the stubs where the horns will be. _You are strong, and your mind is sharp. You will solve problems others cannot _. She smiles, but sadly.”____

____Iron Bull laughed bitterly, “Looks like my old Tamassran was wrong. Bet she's pissed one of her kids went Tal-Vashoth.”_ _ _ _

____“Agents with hushed tones. Eyes stinging. Forms to fill out, course corrections. Reduce risk of similar losses. I remember the little boy, too wise, eager to help. Words break in small, secret spaces. He got away. He got away.”_ _ _ _

____Iron Bull drew a sharp breath. “How could you know that? You've never even met her.”_ _ _ _

____She could practically hear Cole shrug, “Your hurt touches hers.”_ _ _ _

____“Well, that's, uh, creepy, but...thanks.”_ _ _ _

____She thought of Bull as a child. Small and scared of demons and disappointing his Tamassaran. It was not so far off from her fears as a child, though she feared the Templars and Ben-Hassrath, not demons. She learned early in life that it was those you encounter in the waking world, not the Fade, who are to be feared. But her heart ached for the small boy who was afraid to fail, and the man who felt like a failure. She felt helpless. As sleep finally overtook her, she thought of dragon's teeth, his body corrupted by Red Lyrium back at Redcliffe, and the look on his face as she plunged a dagger into his heart while he strangled her. She heard a pride demon laugh, as an unfamiliar voice gave orders in Qunlat._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____She awoke in a cold sweat gasping for air. Cassandra was standing in the entrance to the tent in full armor._ _ _ _

____“It is time,” she said, and walked out._ _ _ _

____Athena sat up in her bed and took a few deep breaths. Her hands shook as she washed and dressed herself. She was almost done braiding her hair when Dorian entered, carrying a bowl of porridge._ _ _ _

____“Dreadful stuff,” he sniffed, “it's as if you Southerners abhor flavor. But you must eat something.”_ _ _ _

____“There is a difference between flavor and food so spicy it burns a hole in your mouth,” she replied, taking a few spoonfuls. Dorian was right, it was terrible. “Andraste’s ass, we're feeding this to our soldiers?” She grimaced and put the bowl down._ _ _ _

____“Cassandra told me you had a nightmare.”_ _ _ _

____“It was nothing, Dorian.”_ _ _ _

____“The veil is thin here, and with your mark you are likely more connected to the Fade than any mage may be. Tell me, do you hear voices?”_ _ _ _

____“Not now.” Athena busied herself by checking her daggers and throwing knives. Harritt had crafted special armor for her. It had pockets all over to hold and hide blades while still allowing her to maneuver unencumbered through the battlefield. Lastly she slid Shrokakar's dagger into a slot in her boot. Dorian kept talking._ _ _ _

____“But you do near rifts? The demons, you hear them?”_ _ _ _

____“Not all of them. Just the more powerful ones. Like that pride demon in the Exalted Plains.”_ _ _ _

____“When you woke up, did you know where you were?”_ _ _ _

____She nodded. Dorian sighed. “If it gets worse, I can teach you an exercise that may help.”_ _ _ _

____Athena smiled weakly. “You are a good friend, Dorian.”_ _ _ _

____He waved her off. “Now eat that dreadful stuff so we can go stop an army of demons from marching across Orlais.”_ _ _ _

____She swallowed as much of the porridge as she could manage. She could hear the thunder of the sappers as they pummeled the ancient stronghold. She scanned her tent one last time before leaving and noticed, next to her comb, a red silk ribbon. She grabbed it and wrapped it around her marked hand, so that she could remember Bull’s promise to her the night after Halamshiral._ _ _ _

____“He will never hurt me…” She whispered to herself, and left to join the battle._ _ _ _


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iron Bull's POV for a little while, since we know what happens in the Fade, more or less.

“I hate fighting demons.” Bull shouted over the din of the fighting. They had breached the gates of Adamant and followed the Inquisitor as she ran ahead, reckless as always. One team to the left, the other to the right. And she would progress down the middle. 

“Yes, yes. We KNOW,” Dorian yelled back. His staff swirled and spun around him as he cast spells. Bull felt the snap of the barrier as he swung his Greataxe overheard. He had to admit having a mage for backup was useful. And, despite his elitism, the blustery Tevinter Altus had grown on him over the last few months. And he clearly cared for Athena, so that counted in his favor. 

“Keep up the pressure, Krem!” Bull pointed at the Wardens who were already falling back. 

“You got it! You heard the Chief—let’s go!” 

As they pressed inward, Dorian pointed out the central courtyard. 

“There! That's where they are doing the ritual…is that…venhedis! Bull, we need to get there now!” 

“What?” 

“They're opening a rift.” 

“They can do that?” 

“Vishante kafass! Bull, they are trying to bring something through!” 

Realization slowly clicked into place. They were at higher ground. 

“She doesn't know.” 

Dorian shook his head. “And she won't until it's too late!” 

“Krem!” 

“Yes, Chief!” 

“Chargers are yours. Don't get dead.” 

“Yes sir!” 

On the other side of the large courtyard Athena emerged and challenged Warden Commander Clarel to stand down. He couldn't hear her from where he was standing, but she was commanding attention from everyone. And for a moment it was over. Clarel lowered her blade and the Wardens backed away. 

And then they heard it. The same unearthly scream he had heard at Haven. Corypheus’ dragon. 

“That son of a bitch!” Bull yelled. 

And then she was gone, running after Clarel who was chasing that Tevinter asshole. While a dragon flew overhead and tried to kill everyone. Or, as Varric would remark later, "just another Tuesday in the Inquisition." 

He took off at full speed down the stairs, Dorian followed close behind. The large wooden doors were barricaded from the other side and would not budge. Bull heaved his axe, landed two heavy blows, and the door gave way. He ignored the pain in his shoulder and the burn on his side. He ran and only thought of her, fighting a blighted Archdemon with daggers. 

He passed Blackwall and Sera, who had also started after Athena when the dragon arrived. A part of him burst with pride to watch Athena's long strides overtake Clarel. 

“How about less flexibility and agility work, more sword training!” He called back to Blackwall. The Warden grunted in reply. 

“Wouldn't peg you for one to complain about flexibility.” Sera yelled back. 

He grinned. They were close. They rounded the corner and watched the mortally wounded Clarel stab the dragon as it closed in on Athena and Hawke. The dragon lurched and then flew off. Then the walkway started to collapse. 

“Kadan!” Bull cried out. He sprinted towards her. 

He watched her struggle against the falling stones. He watched her face register shock, then fear, then resignation as she fell. 

He felt Blackwall and Dorian pulling him back from the edge of the damaged fortress. He looked around, but there were no bodies. 

“Where is she?” He demanded. Blackwall shook his head. 

“She…I think she opened a rift.” Dorian kept one hand against Bull. Bull wasn't sure if it was for him or the ‘Vint but he said nothing. 

“Where? The fuck…” Sera leaned down and just stared at the desert below. “One, two, three, four, five…there should be five people down there not none.” 

“It means they alive.” Dorian snapped. 

“Alive where?!?” Sera looked around, frantically. “This isn't okay. She can't just…be gone.” 

Bull dropped to his knees. He kept seeing Athena's face as she realized she was falling. 

He stared numbly at the ground hundreds of feet below. He was vaguely aware of noises and movement around him. 

“I think he’s in shock.” 

“Vishante kafass! Bull!” 

“Wha?” He looked around. Sera, Blackwall, and Dorian looked back, concern etched into each of their faces. 

“She's…gone…” He felt numb. Sera punched his shoulder as she started to cry. He leaned against the crumbling wall and studied his hands. He didn't even know when or where he had dropped his axe. He didn't care. 

Dorian dropped down next to him. 

“She's alive—“ he started but Bull just shook his head. 

“You don't know that. All we know is that she opened a rift and fell through it. Her head could be smashed across the rocks in the Fade. I just know she's gone. And I never…I can't…Dorian, without her…” 

“I know, Bull.” 

“We argued.” 

“I know.” 

“I didn’t get to say…to tell her…I think I'm falling for her.” 

“You already fell.” 

“So what now?” His throat closed up and his eyes burned. He felt it: the bloodlust, rising in his chest. He needed to kill something, anything. He needed to get away from Dorian before he hurt him. He stood and walked toward the main courtyard. A Warden mage began to cast a spell. Bull lifted him off the ground and snapped his neck with one hand. He threw the lifeless body against the wall and kept walking. Two Inquisition soldiers were battling an Arcane Horror. Bull picked up an axe off of a dead body and heaved it into the head of the monster. It staggered and he grabbed it, breaking it in half over his knee. He turned towards the two soldiers who backed away slowly. He felt a jab at his shoulder and spun around, Dorian was holding his staff in an attack stance. Bull rounded on him. 

“Outta of my way!” Bull grabbed Dorian's shirt. 

Dorian cast a mind blast spell and knocked Bull back. “What has gotten into you—“ 

Cullen ran and grabbed Dorian's shoulder. “Something is trying to come through!” 

Bull’s head snapped up. “The rift in the courtyard?” 

Cullen nodded. They all took off after him. 

The rift in the central courtyard had grown and through it they could see some huge creature, all eyes and hair and legs. 

“Ugh, he's an ugly fucker, innit he?” Sera drew her bow. 

“Dorian, what is that…thing?”Cullen asked. “We've managed to control the flow of demons, but with no way to seal the rift…” His voice trailed off. 

“Dorian, I can't hear her!” Cole’s anguished voice cut through the conversation. “Heartbeat skips like rocks on a lake. Little bird, little bird, where is your song? Fear and anger get tied up and tear if you pull. But he helped her forget, she cannot remember. The Iron Bull, you cannot let him through.” 

“The creature has completely lost his mind.” Vivienne murmured. 

“She's in the Fade, kid.” Bull looked into the rift. 

“The Nightmare,” Cole pointed at the creature on the other side of the rift. “He grows fat on the fear we forget. The cry in the dark, hammering heartbeat, then…nothing…” 

Sera notched an arrow and took out a smaller rage demon as it slithered out. Bull suddenly had an idea. He grabbed Dorian’s arm. “Send me through.” 

“What?!” 

“She may be in there,” Bull gestured toward the rift. “So send me in there and let me go get her.” 

“Venhedis, Bull, IF that were even possible—which it probably isn't—there'd be no way to bring you back. It would be suicide!” 

Bull shrugged. 

“Little bird, little bird, sing me a song,” Cole sat on the ground and started rocking back and forth. 

The rift crackled. Sera notched another arrow and Cullen readied his sword and shield. Bull couldn't help but notice that Cullen was guarding Dorian, whose staff began to crackle with energy. Blackwall stood ready, weapon in hand. 

They saw figures moving as the rift grew brighter. Suddenly Cassandra tumbled into Blackwall’s arms. 

“Maker’s Balls, woman.” Blackwall’s sword clattered to the ground. 

Varric and Solas followed. 

“The Inquisitor!” Cullen called. 

“Where is she?” Bull demanded. 

And then the rift grew bright again and Hawke leapt out, rolled, and stood up. 

“Well, that was unpleasant.” She muttered, brushing herself off. 

Athena practically fell out of the rift. Bull swooped in and grabbed her before she hit the ground. Her skin felt clammy and she was drenched in sweat. Her eyes were wide and hardly seemed to register what was in front of her. She turned and closed the rift. It was clear she was in pain. 

“Kadan!” Bull’s joy at seeing her in one piece was soon overshadowed by concern. “Hey, Boss?” It was as if he was invisible. She slid out from his arms. “Athena?” 

She finally looked over at him and opened her mouth to say something, when one of the Grey Wardens asked about Stroud and Cullen asked about what do with the remaining Wardens. She spoke but her voice felt disconnected. She felt so far away. He looked over at Solas, Cassandra, and Varric. They watched her intently. He reached out and caught her when she fainted. Troops fetched a stretcher and carried her off to her tent. Bull went to follow but Varric caught his arm. 

“We need to talk, Tiny. Now.” 

========================

The atmosphere at the camp was subdued. They had won the battle, preventing Corypheus from enslaving the Wardens and obtaining a demon army. But the casualties were high, and there had only been hushed whispers about the Inquisitor. Solas, Dorian, and Vivienne had not left her side, and guards posted outside her tent refused to let anyone in. 

Bull followed Varric to his tent and took the glass the Dwarf held out. Varric pulled out a bottle and poured a dark liquid into two glasses and handed one to Bull. 

“Sorry I don't have stronger stuff.” 

“Varric, what's going on?” 

Varric took a long sip and sat down in a folding chair. He invited Bull to join him. The chair creaked but accepted his weight. He took a sip: brandy, aged in cherrywood barrels maybe five, seven years. He waited for his answer. 

“Shit went sideways, Tiny. I don't even know why I'm surprised anymore. Between Hawke and Violet I'm surprised I'm still alive. That demon...” Varric emptied his glass and refilled it. 

“Cole called it The Nightmare.” 

Varric shivered. “You don't like demons getting in your head and messing with you, right? This guy. Tiny, it was like he could see right through you. Knew your worst fears. The ones you bury, the ones you forget.” 

It was Bull’s turn to finish his glass. He held it out and Varric refilled it. Varric pinched the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache. 

“You know how I met Hawke, right? She had worked for a year as a smuggler to pay off debts and get her family into Kirkwall. She was clever and headstrong, wanted in on a Deep Roads expedition my brother Bartrand and I were organizing. I promised to get her on the roster, offered her a cut of the profits…shit, I even introduced her to Blondie. Or was responsible for their meeting. And then we found the red lyrium idol and had to fight our way out of the Deep Roads. No food and little by way of water for weeks. And Hawke stuck it out. She always has…but I'm the one that keeps dragging her into these messes. And she wanted to stay. In the Fade. To give us time. Thank Andraste for Violet. I shouldn't be happy she left Stroud behind, but I'm a selfish man.” 

“Well, it's not the strategic call. Sacrificing the last senior Warden.” 

“Neither was flipping off the Qunari but she did it anyway.” 

Bull nodded and took a sip. “She did right by you.” 

“She did. So that's why I need to ask you something.” And suddenly Bianca was inches from his face, loaded. “You planning something? You've been cagey with her since the mission on the Storm Coast.” 

“I need more than that.” 

“You remember how she couldn't remember what happened at the Conclave? Turns out it wasn't amnesia. It was this demon taking her bad memories. To weaken it we needed to reclaim memories. And I mean witness it. See it. Feel it. Like the first time. Maker, watching Hawke lose her father, then Carver, then her mother…it felt so…intrusive. But, Bull,” Varric looked away, tears stinging his eyes. 

They sat quietly for a few minutes, Bull studied his drink. Finally, he spoke. 

“There's a term in Qunlat: Asala-taar. It loosely translates to ‘soul sickness,’ battle fatigue—madness—blood rage. Happens to a lot of the men fighting in Seheron. They go Vashoth, become feral, more animal than man and need to be cut down. It's like walking a knife’s edge, that line between killing because you need to and killing because you want to. And it's easy to slip. Start seeing enemies everywhere. Start killing anyone just to satisfy the thirst.” 

“That's your fear.” 

Bull nodded. 

“I submitted myself for reeducation before it got too out of hand. But that line. I see it, feel it all the time.” 

He held out his glass and Varric refilled it and topped off his own drink. 

“Today. Varric, I fucking snapped. When I saw her fall, then disappear? That was it. Game over for The Iron Bull. Forget demon possession. Losing her. That's what shoves me over the edge. If she hadn't come back…I don't know how many I would have taken out before Cullen or Blackwall would have had to kill me. I almost killed Dorian. He doesn’t know how close he came.” 

Varric slid Bianca to the ground and leaned forward. 

“Tiny, you need to know what happened in the Fade. What we saw...that Nightmare demon got to her. Bad. She was seeing shit and hearing things that I don't want to imagine. She was pretty shook up after re-living her parents’ deaths. Hell, Hawke was the one comforting her, and Hawke’s own mother was murdered by some crazy blood mage serial killer. But, shit Tiny, he got in her head about you and she just lost it.” 

“Hence the crossbow in my face.” 

“Bianca can be touchy about loyalty. I just want to know if you truly are a free man, or if you have special orders.” 

Bull fished into his pocket and handed Varric a letter. “This came with the offer of an alliance. This is why I’ve been cagey.”


	28. Chapter 28

_Hissrad,_

_Based on your reports we were able to come up with a clearer picture of Inquisitor Adaar's background. I would not recommend you share this information with the Inquisition or the Inquisitor herself as it would compromise your position as her bodyguard. Though if my reports are to be believed you may be more than that now. You always knew how to handle an asset._

_Adaar was born in Nevarra. Her father was training to be a healer when his magic manifested. His Tamassaran reports he was a quiet and gentle soul, and his magic manifested relatively late. He disappeared soon after he sent a bolt of lightning into a Sten who was making “unwanted advances” on a young woman, presumably Adaar's mother._

_She was apprenticed to a Tamassaran to be a companion and was often a behavioral issue. She was opinionated, loud, and had a terrible temper. Truth be told, I found her number in the list for those recommended for reeducation. I interviewed the Sten who had made the “advances.” He and others remember her even after so many years. All reports indicate she was a beautiful woman, which is like why she was chosen to be a companion despite her personality issues._

_Regardless of the motivation, they fled to Seheron and then Nevarra. It is likely that they booked passage by capitalizing on his training as a healer. We lost track of them after they landed in Nevarra. Adaar was born soon after arriving, so it is possible that they were with child when they fled. They eventually ended up in the Free Marches. Specifically, Kirkwall._

_An Arvaarad in charge of hunting loose Sarebas tracked them down. The instructions were to eliminate the Sarebas and subdue the mother. The child—Adaar—was to be taken back and put in the care of the Tamassarans in Par Vollen, for we would not fault the child for being Vashoth._

_It is unclear what happened, but this much we know: the Sarebas was not subdued and in fact was not present when our agents found their. They were not close to the city state, and it is possible that the father did work with mercenary groups such as Valo-kas. Efforts to subdue the mother were unsuccessful. She had since learned to fight and efforts to remove the child were met with resistance. The mother was eventually overpowered and questioned but did not survive her interrogation._

_There were limited reports back as the team assigned to deal with the Sarebas were ambushed and the child was presumably returned to her father. They traveled for years in the company of the Valo-Kas and eluded capture. They returned to Kirkwall many years later, after the Arishock sacked the city state. Some Viddathari reported many Templar groups wandering the countryside searching for apostates. It is assumed that one or several Kirkwall Templars killed Adaar's father. The rest I assume you know._

_She is young and naïve and seems to trust easily. The Viddasala has given you permission to pursue any and all means of winning her over, as it is likely that we will need you to end this dangerous magic after she has lost her purpose, which shouldn’t be too long from now._

_Anaan esaam Qun_

_P.S. Incidentally, I knew the Arvaarad responsible for hunting Adaar's father. He was unusually cruel in his punishment of Sarebas, females in particular. Whatever he did to Adaar's mother, there was likely little left of her that was recognizable after. I am not sorry he is dead._

_P.P.S. The Valo-Kas may be responsible for our lack of information in the northern Free Marches over the years, as our Ben-Hassrath agents and informants tend to go missing once they roll through a town. It is likely not a coincidence._


	29. Chapter 29

Varric read the letter, folded it and handed it back to Bull. “Shit, Tiny. They would've made you kill her? Could you have done that?” 

“She asked me the same thing.” 

“What did you say?” 

“I didn't answer the question then.” 

“And now?” 

He fixed Varric with a hard look. “I'd die first.” 

Varric nodded. “So she isn’t just an asset.” Bull nodded. They sat in several minutes in silence, drinking. 

“Varric? My contact in the Ben-Hassrath didn't specify what happened to her mother. What did he do to her?” 

Varric leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes. “Let me put it this way: Leandra Hawke was murdered, butchered, and turned into a reanimated corpse for some crazy blood mage. She was the lucky one.”. 

Bull wanted to know more, but when he started to speak he was interrupted by Krem. 

“Chief! Been looking all over for you.” 

Both Bull and Varric stood up. 

“Did she wake up?” 

Krem shook his head. “She's gone. Sent her off in a carriage. Wouldn't of known about it but Warden Blackwall just about lost his shit when Seeker Pentaghast told him. I thought you'd want to know.” 

Bull ran out of the tent and grabbed the first horse that could bear his weight. 

========================

He rode back to Skyhold, stopping only to change horses and eat. He dismounted and bounded up the stairs two at a time, bursting into Athena's room. Dorian, Sera, and Josephine were keeping vigil. Sera dabbed Athena's face with a damp cloth, her eyes red and puffed from crying. Dorian grabbed Bull's arm and pulled him onto the balcony.

“I gave her a powerful sleep tonic.” Dorian explained. “She’s still…processing the experience in the Fade and Vivienne and I were worried she might hurt herself.” He looked back at Athena. “Solas is concerned about the mark. That exposure to the Fade may have affected it.” 

“Meaning?” Bull kept his voice low. 

Dorian shook his head. “Meaning we don't know. The physical and emotional consequences…” 

“Papa,” Athena moaned, “Papa…where is Momma? If she is sleeping why can't I wake her up?” 

Dorian blinked back tears. “Vishanta kafaas, Sera, let's go down to the pub. We both need a drink.” He guided Sera out of the room, handing her a handkerchief so she would stop wiping her nose with her sleeve. “I'll come back to check on her after supper,” he said over his shoulder as he started down the steps. Josephine left the room after them. 

Bull sat next to her. She was asleep in her bed, propped up by pillows. Her hair tumbled around her face. She looked so small in that big bed, out of her armor and in a thin cotton tunic. Her forehead shone with sweat. She has lost weight and seemed so frail he was afraid to touch her. That she'd break. 

“Papa, please, wake Momma…Papa I'm hungry…So, hungry…Papa…what did they do to you?” 

Bull took the cloth out of the warm bowl and dabbed her face gently. “Bull…” 

“I’m here.” He whispered softly. 

She began to toss and turn, “Bull, Bull, no! Bull, no please! I trusted you…Bull, please don't make me do this…katoh…katoh…” She began to thrash around. 

“Hey, hey,” he slid down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. She fought his hold for several minutes but she eventually stilled. Slowly, her muscles relaxed. His heart ached as he wondered what he was doing to her, what that demon made her see. He kissed her forehead and stroked her hair, “I'm not going anywhere. And neither are you.” She turned into his chest and he held her until the exhaustion of the last few days caught up with him, and he fell asleep.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Athena's POV. NSFW at the end.

She awoke early in the morning. The sun was rising over the mountains and a cool breeze touched her face. Two servants entered and poured her a hot bath and tea. She soaked in the tub until the scalding water was cool, scrubbing her skin raw and washing the sand and grime from her hair. A thin cotton robe was draped over the sofa. Athena put it on and began to brush her hair by the fireplace. 

The door opened and she heard heavy footsteps on the stairs. Bull emerged carrying a large tray overloaded with food: pastries, sweet rolls, jams, honey, cheeses and fruits. He smiled broadly. “Figured you'd be hungry and wasn't sure what you wanted, so I raided the pantry.” 

She felt panic grip her chest as she saw him healthy and smiling in front of her. The last time she had seen him his eyes were glowing and red and his…no, that had been the demon in the Fade…she looked at the food and couldn’t remember the last time she ate. Her stomach growled. 

“I am starving!” She grabbed a roll off of the tray as he placed it on her desk. She couldn’t eat fast enough. 

“Hey, slow down. You'll make yourself sick!” 

Bull picked up her brush and she sat back on the stool near the fireplace. She took a few deep breaths and tried to relax as he brushed her damp hair. She took a small bite of an apple and savored the tart sweetness. The bath, the robe, the food. How did he always know what she needed? 

“Bull,” she started, “did you do all this?” 

He didn't answer her immediately, just kept brushing her hair. 

“Lucky guess. Your dreams seemed less intense over the last twelve or so hours, and Dorian didn't give you another sleep tonic. I figured a bath and food was what you needed.” 

“And the robe?” 

Bull’s arms wrapped around her waist. “That was for me, I like this color on you.” 

She frowned. “It's pink.” 

Bull nuzzled her neck, “it's pretty.” 

Athena turned to face him. “Bull, in the Fade…” She couldn't finish, tears streamed down her cheeks and she fell into his lap, sobbing. He let her cry for some time, gently brushing her hair out of her face. When she quieted he pulled her face to his and kissed her. 

“We don't have to talk about it. Not until you’re ready. Or ever. Just know that I am not going anywhere. And I'm sorry for whatever happened.” 

She looked relieved. And then her brow furrowed. 

“What is it?” He kissed her nose. Athena studied her hands. 

“I know that before Adamant, we never talked about…us…about you with the healers, with the serving girls…” 

“That's different,” Bull reached over and popped a few grapes in his mouth. “Serving girls get told what to do all day, they need to let loose, you let them bounce on top and tell ‘em their tits look nice.” He cleared his throat, “but I'm not doing that. As long as we're doing this,” he kissed her neck, “you have my full attention.” 

“So, we are doing this?” 

“Do you want to stop?” 

“No! I mean yes. I mean, I do. Want it.” She blushed. “You. I want you…I mean…I want an us, if that's possible.” 

He laughed. “Me too. Glad we've cleared that up.” 

 

====================================================================

She spent the next two weeks after Adamant at Skyhold, mostly to regain her strength. She trained with the recruits and sparred with Cullen, Cassandra, Blackwall, and occasionally Bull. Long hours were spent in the War Room going over details of Adamant, trying to locate Corypheus, and dismantling the Red Templars lyrium sources. 

The meetings began to get longer and longer as reports from the south indicated the Freemen of the Dales were becoming an increasing nuisance in the Emerald Graves. But no one could agree where to focus the Inquisition’s resources. Cullen was obsessed with tracking down Sampson, while Leliana seemed to want to poison or assassinate anyone who got in their way. Josephine was preoccupied with negotiating a meeting between King Alistair and Empress Celene, which was to take place in Skyhold in the late spring and wanted everyone to wait until that happened. 

They had started to take many of their meals in the War Room, and Athena was frustrated she could not enjoy her time with Bull. When it was just the two of them he was gentle and was more open in showing her his feelings and honest reactions, which helped ease the nightmares from her time in the Fade. And while Skyhold felt like home, she was used to traveling and being on the road. Spring was slow to arrive in the Frostbacks, but in the south it would be warmer and she longed to feel the sun on her face. 

She dismissed her advisors and sent runners to alert her companions that they would be leaving after breakfast to travel to the Emerald Graves. She stayed behind, studying the map and wondering if she would have the chance to visit Kirkwall. She had pledged to support the reconstruction and wondered if confronting those old memories would help heal old wounds that had been reopened. She still heard the Nightmare demon’s words while she slept and kept a knife under her pillow. If Bull noticed he said nothing about its presence. He too, tossed and turned as he slept next to her each night. 

She heard the door open and click shut, and soft footsteps behind her. 

“Is that you Jenkins?” She asked, “would you mind sending a message to The Iron Bull—“ 

She felt two large hands on her waist and a deep voice rumbled, “oh, I don't think that will be necessary.” 

Athena gasped and spun around. Bull leaned in and kissed her, his fingers gripping her hair and pulling her against him. She returned his kiss and ran her fingers down his bare chest. He lifted her and sat her on the edge of the table. 

“I thought,” he said as he kissed down her neck, “that since we're heading out tomorrow you've gotten your strength back.” His hand slipped down and quickly unfastened the clasps on her tunic. Athena gasped and arched her back. 

“Bull,” she moaned. “The door.” 

“Don't worry about it.” He slipped his hand under her shirt and pulled it over her head. 

“It doesn't lock.” 

“I improvised.” 

Athena looked over his shoulder. Sure enough he had managed to use his harness in between the handles to keep someone from pulling it open. The only person who ever came to the War Room at night was Cullen. 

“Dorian's distracting the Commander. Seemed very eager, in fact.” 

“I didn't know Cullen…” 

“Dorian likes a challenge.” He kissed her again before she could ask him any other questions and she melted into his embrace. He unfastened the binding around her breasts, his hands roaming down her stomach while his tongue flicked at her nipples. She felt weak with desire and could only grip his horns as he slid her leather trousers off. He nibbled down her stomach and with one finger pulled her small clothes off. He stepped back to admire her. Naked, spread out in front of him. Her lips swollen from kissing, her eyes dark with desire. Her hair had come loose and spilled down her back. He smiled and unbuckled his belt, his pants falling to the floor. He had taken his boots off before he entered the War Room. He pressed his naked body against hers and she wiggled herself against his hardness, whimpering. 

“All in good time,” he said before kissing her lips again, his tongue gently entering her mouth. She responded in kind, with her tongue softly pressing against his. His hands found her breasts and he squeezed them gently. Athena purred in response. He kept one hand on her breast as the other rested between her legs. He offered pressure and felt her grow wet against his thick fingers. 

“Bull,” she moaned into his mouth, “Bull, please…” 

He smiled as she pressed herself against him. She was putty in his hands, he was in complete control. 

“I'm going to take my time,” he said as one finger traced her labia. She jerked at his touch. “But you will be very, very satisfied by the time I'm finished with you.” 

Athena shivered at the warmth of his hands and intensity of his words. Bull gently pushed her down so she was lying over the Brecilian Forest, her legs hanging over the table. He pressed her hands together over her head. “These stay here until I tell you to move them, understand?” 

Athena nodded, biting her lower lip. 

Bull smiled and nibbled down her neck and chest, his tongue swirling against her soft grey skin, celebrating the tiny white scars of past battles along her torso and her hips. He kissed down her legs, nibbling and sucking on her round toes. Athena squirmed impatiently. Bull began to kiss back up her legs and licked her inner thighs. She moaned and rocked her hips against him. He stood up and made eye contact with her. Her expression went from a frustrated scowl to surprise as he entered her with two fingers. He moved quickly but gently, pumping his fingers in and out. To her credit Athena kept her hands over her head, though it took all of her concentration. Bull pulled his fingers out and she cried in frustration, only to moan in pleasure as his tongue traced her labia and probed inside her. He kissed and caressed every inch between her legs, never letting her go too far, watching her become wet and pink and swollen under his care. 

“I think you are ready, do you?” Bull asked, stroking his cock and pressing it against her. 

“I…yes…please…” She panted. And screamed as he slammed into her, his massive hands holding her steady. He pulled out and she writhed and squirmed on the table. He pushed himself against her and she wrapped her legs around his waist and arched her back, pulling him deeper inside her. Bull moaned and leaned forward on the table. He watched her face as he fucked her, her eyes squeezed shut and her knuckles white as they gripped the table. Her mouth was open slightly, he leaned forward and kissed her. 

“You have my permission to move your hands.” 

Immediately her hands were around his neck, her nails digging into his shoulders. Bull stood up and lifted her off the table. 

Athena kissed his neck and nibbled his ears, earning a moan from Bull. She leaned down and bit down on one of his nipples. She felt Bull’s hands tighten on her buttocks and he twitched inside her. Emboldened, she increased the pressure of her teeth and flicked her tongue over the skin. It tasted of leather and sweat and Bull roared in response. He took a few steps and pushed her against the wall, Athena crossed her legs around his waist and pulled him close. 

He thrusted hard and fast, one hand traveled down to where he entered her and he pressed his finger against the sensitive button of nerves. Athena felt an electric pulse flow through her body. It was almost more than she could bear, but Bull was relentless, and within moments that felt like years she felt heat flow through her body as she began to climax. Her whole body began to tremble and she could feel Bull stiffen inside her as her muscles contracted. He pulled her chin up to look at him. 

Athena's large violet eyes met his hazel and they did not break contact. He moaned her name and thrusted deep inside her then he stopped moving. He stood, looking deep into her eyes. 

Athena held his face in her hands, “Bull.” 

His face was unreadable, not because of his Ben-Hassrath training but because he had never looked at her that way before. Totally vulnerable. There was a need and a fear in his face that she had never seen before. 

“Bull...” She whispered again. 

“You're here,” he pressed his forehead against hers, “you came back to me.” 

Athena smiled, “you think I'm going to let something as small as the Fade get in my way?” 

Bull looked serious, “I will never let anyone or anything take you away from me.” He began to move inside her and picked up speed. 

“I am yours,” she moaned and squeezed her legs so he was closer to her. She felt her body tensing. Bull was relentless and pressed further into her. 

Athena felt her whole body release as she came, and with a roar so did Bull. They stood panting for several moments. Bull slipped out of her and Athena lowered her feet to the ground. She held his gaze. “I am yours,” she whispered. 

“And I’m yours,” he replied, “always.”


	31. Chapter 31

As they traveled south the snow gave way to rain and mud. It poured for a solid two weeks and as the thaw finally reached Emprise Du Lion the combination left the roads flooded or sometimes washed out. It was slow going. 

The sun had finally begun to peak through the clouds when they reached Harding at the main Inquisition campsite in the northern portion of the Emerald Graves. Dorian insisted on staying at camp so he could dry out his clothes. A few days leisure wasn't such a bad idea, so Athena agreed to set up camp near a river not far from where she would rendezvous with Fairbanks. Blackwall had brought his fishing rod in the hopes of catching trout and was content to spend his time out of armor and barefoot on the river’s edge. Cassandra and Dorian read in the warm spring sun. Athena and Bull tried to teach Sera to swim in the river.

It was still cold at night but the days grew pleasantly warm. The air was humid and left Athena grateful she did not wear plate armor, not that Cassandra or Blackwall ever complained. Heavy, soft moss clung to the trees and rocks, while thick rope-like vines hung from branches. On the third day she and Cassandra sat and read under the shade of a large tree when a sharp whistle from Sera cut through the air. Cassandra snapped her book shut and peered over the edge of the rock towards the road.

“Red Templars. Ten of them,” she said, careful to avoid attracting any attention.

“Shit,” Athena hissed, thinking of her armor and weapons back at the camp. Judging from her expression, Cassandra was likely thinking the same thing.

And then another shrill whistle. The Templars stopped and looked around.

“What is Sera playing at?”

Cassandra shrugged.

The whistle was answered with Bull’s war horn and a hail of arrows. Two of the Red Templars were down before Bull charged through the bushes, swinging his axe. Vivienne was soon there and rained fire on the remaining men. When the fire cleared there were still six standing. One ran at Vivienne who drew her spirit blade and parried his blows. Another ran for Sera, who disappeared in a cloud of smoke. The other four converged on Bull. He roared and ran at them. 

“Maker, he’ll get himself killed!” Cassandra cried.

“Dammit, Bull,” Athena hissed, and jumped down off the rocks and sprinted towards the road below.

“What are you doing?!” Cassandra screamed, catching the attention of one of the archers. Athena grabbed him from behind, pulled his own dagger from its sheath, and cut his throat. Spraying her with blood. Arrows flew all around her but did little to slow the enemy. Bull rolled to avoid a blow and caught sight of her, barefoot and armed with nothing but a stolen dagger.

“What are you—“

But he was interrupted by a hail of Red Lyrium that flew through the air towards her. Bull ran and pulled her behind him. She felt the familiar snap of a barrier and then lightning struck the ground. Dorian had arrived. 

Athena screamed and ran at the offending Templar. He swung at her but Athena easily dodged his attack. She dropped to her knees and swung her leg under his, knocking him onto the ground. She sprang back up and landed on the Templar's chest, burying a dagger in his neck. 

She turned and saw Bull drop to his knees, a large shard of red lyrium lodged in his ribs. She caught him before his head hit the ground.

“Shit,” he wheezed. He was bleeding badly. She was supporting his weight as he tried to sit up.

“It's gonna be okay,” Athena whispered, “just stay with me. Don't pull it out.” She looked up and yelled, “Dorian!”

Cassandra, Vivienne and Dorian rushed over.

“Lay him down,” Vivienne ordered. Bull lay flat on the ground, his head in Athena's lap.

“Don't mind the view,” he muttered. Blood bubbled out the side of his mouth. Athena stroked his cheek, wiping his blood onto her tunic.

“What were you thinking? Taking on four Red Templars at once?”

“Was thinking ‘fuck those guys,’ mostly.”

“Iron Bull, your language,” Vivienne scolded.

“Sorry, ma’am.”

“We didn't want them to get you and Cass, Buckles,” Sera explained. She handed Dorian Solas’ satchel. Dorian scowled at her. “What? He wasn't there so I nicked it. We need it.”

Athena sighed.

Dorian rifled through the bag and pulled out a poultice and a rag. He wrapped the shard with the rag and slowly pulled the red lyrium out from Bull’s side. Bull hissed in pain and the wound started to bleed in earnest. Athena stroked his face. “Just look here. Listen to my voice.”

“Sparkler, you gotta get rid of that thing.”

“Yes, yes, I know, Varric. Vivienne, could you check to see if there is anything left inside before we close the wound?”

“Of course, my dear.”

Athena hummed softly and traced his face with the pads of her fingers. Bull coughed again and blood dribbled down his cheek. She wiped it away with her fingers and smiled down at him.

“Boss…” He reached up and touched her cheek. His face was pale.

“Shh…don’t talk.”

“If I don’t—“

She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “This is not how it ends, not now, not like this.”

She glanced up at Dorian and Vivienne. They seemed to have finished extracting the lyrium and Vivienne closed the wound. Dorian placed the poultice against Bull’s ribs and gestured for Athena to sit him up. Bull sat up gingerly, and held his arms aloft as Dorian wrapped a bandage around his rib cage to secure the poultice.

“I sincerely hope we removed it all,” Vivienne frowned, “but we must wait for at least the next several hours to make sure you were not corrupted.”

“You also lost a fair amount of blood, so at least a week of rest,” Dorian added.

Bull made a frustrated noise. Athena touched his shoulder.

“Come, Bull, let’s go back to camp.”

“Mmph…fine.”

Cassandra and Athena helped walk Bull back to the camp and the others followed behind. When they got to the campsite Blackwall sat on a makeshift bench scaling fish. He leapt up when he caught sight of Bull.

“Andraste’s tits, man! What happened?”

“Sera found some Red Templars while collecting firewood,” Varric explained.

“And Iron Bull took it upon himself to fight them all at once. Quite foolish of you, my dear. Wasn't it?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“But you—“ Blackwall gestured toward Athena. 

She looked down at her shirt and hands. She shrugged. “Not my blood.”

“You fought a band of Red Templars without weapons or armor?!” Blackwall looked look he would have a stroke.

“Just two of them.”

Bull sat on the bench and put his head between his knees; the blood loss had left him dizzy. Cassandra went to retrieve their books. Sera went back out to look for firewood and loot the corpses. Blackwall resumed scaling the fish, muttering to himself. After some time Bull joined him.

Athena walked down to the river to fetch fresh water. On her way back to camp she heard Bull say her name. She stopped and listened.

“She's reckless—“ Blackwall started in on his usual lecture.

“She saved our asses today.” Varric cut in.

“You should have seen her,” Bull added. “They couldn't touch her. She was too fast. They were down before they knew what hit ‘em. It too bad we don't do more hand to hand or close quarters fighting. She'd be unstoppable.” He sighed, “I've never seen anyone fight like her before.”

Athena felt a flush creep up her neck.

“Eavesdropping, I see?” Dorian whispered from behind. Athena jumped.

“What? No, I—“

Dorian chuckled and walked past her. He handed something to Bull.

“Is this what you were asking for?”

“Yeah, thanks, Dorian.”

Athena took a deep breath and followed Dorian into the center of camp. Bull was honing a small knife he used to debone game or filet fish. Blackwall glared at her.

“What?”

“Andraste preserve me, child. You will be the death of me.”

“So now would not be a good time to tell you there's a High Dragon nesting near the cliffs that overlook the Arbor Wilds?”

Blackwall's mouth flapped open and shut. He grumbled to himself and Athena grinned. She clapped the Warden on the back and kissed his cheek. He blushed, slightly, under his beard.

“Now you're just being mean to an old man,” Blackwall pouted. Athena was familiar with this game.

“Who's old? Not you. You taught me to fight, and I don't fight like an old man, do I Bull?”

“Nope. Not at all, Boss.”

“Just stop fighting people without your armor, lass. If not for your own health than for mine.”

He sounded more like her father every day. She smiled. “Fair enough. Sera and I have found some long sticks and might try to use them to vault across the waterfall. Do you think you could smooth them off for us?"

Bull began to object when he was interrupted by Sera, who returned with kindling and some correspondences between the Red Templars and the Freeman of the Dales. 

===========================

Blackwall had the fire going in no time. Soon Cassandra returned, carrying books in one hand and an armload of heavy firewood in the other. Solas and Cole had managed to forage wild potatoes and other vegetables that Bull threw in a pot of water to boil. Dorian poured himself a glass of wine and began reading by the firelight. Athena sat with Varric reading over letters. Scout reports complained of Giants, ferocious bears, and blitz attacks from the Freemen. That was on top of the Red Templars wandering the roads. One scout also reported a High Dragon. So she hadn't been the only one to see it.

The sun dipped under the trees and she abandoned her work for the night. Bull’s injury aside, two days of recovery had improved everyone's spirits. She would need to meet with Fairbanks in the morning, and getting rid of the Freemen was a priority. But Bull wouldn't be able to fight for a week, she did not want to leave him behind. She was brought out of her reverie by Blackwall announcing dinner.

Athena jumped up and ran to her tent. She fumbled around her satchel before grabbing a small pouch. She came back out and handed to Blackwall.

“What's this?”

“It's for you and Bull to share.”

Blackwall pulled a small box out of the pouch and opened it. His eyes grew wide.

“Andraste's tits, child!” Both Cassandra and Vivienne coughed and glared at the Grey Warden, who ignored them.

“What is it?” Bull demanded. Blackwall showed him the box. Bull looked over at Athena. “Boss!”

“Well, don't keep us all in the dark,” Dorian leaned over Bull’s shoulder and gave a low whistle.

“It's salt,” Athena explained. She looked at Bull. “You said it makes food taste better.”

“But it is expensive as all—“

Athena shrugged. “Perks of being Inquisitor, I guess. The cook at Skyhold was happy I ordered it too.”

Bull happily seasoned everyone's fish and potatoes and they ate heartily. The evening wore on and Cassandra, Vivienne, Solas and Cole retreated to their tents. Sera wagged her eyebrows at Bull and sniggered.

“What?” he asked.

“You're bedding the Inquisitor.” Sera replied.

“I am, though it's not always in the bed. Sometimes it's against the wall.”

Athena laughed and took Bull’s hand, threading her fingers with his.

“What,” Sera asked, confused. Then realization dawned on her face. “Oh, because you do it standing, right!”  
Bull laughed and planted a kiss on Athena's head.

“I'm glad you're all right,” she whispered.

“Me, too, Boss.”


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More smut because, well. Why not?

The next morning they determined that Bull was not going to be infected by the red lyrium so he needed to wait for a few days for the wound to heal completely. She opted to bring him with her to meet with Fairbanks, who gave her the name of a few key Freemen leaders. Between Cassandra and Blackwall, Athena was able to organize teams to dismantle most of the leaders and their strongholds within a few days. She had gotten some pushback from Bull, but it was gone the moment he realized they would be alone together for several hours at the camp. 

By the time he had recovered from his injury they were able to venture further into the woods and recapture Argon’s lodge. Athena turned the hold over to Fairbanks to help show the refugees that the Inquisition was not just another organization to bow down to. Bull was happy he got to fight giants, and they eventually caught up with a Greater Mistral to the south west. The fight took three hours and Sera’s hair caught fire, again, but they all managed to avoid any serious injuries. Just like the last time they fought a dragon, while exhausted and injured, everyone's spirits were high. Athena even managed to remove one of the larger incisors without attracting Bull’s attention.

That night Bull visited her tent, something he had never done before. She woke to see him sitting near the foot of her bed roll. She sat up, her hand went to the dagger under her pillow by force of habit but she took a slow breath and released it. He was holding a small lantern which he placed on the floor. He smiled, the soft light flickered and cast shadows across his face.

“What is it?” She asked, still sleepy.

“I needed to tell you how amazing you were today.”

“You already told me that.”

“Well,” he leaned forward and ran his hand through her hair. “I guess I needed to show you.”

Athena launched herself at him. Their lips met and he kissed her, his lips gentle but still betraying a hunger she echoed with her lips and tongue.

Bull pulled her into his lap as she wrapped her long legs around his torso, newly healed from his fight with Red Templars two weeks before. He gripped her hair and back, pressing her into him. Athena bit down on his lip, trying to suppress a moan. 

“Shh,” Bull whispered in her ear, “you don't want to wake anyone.”

His words sent chills through her body. She leaned down and bit down on his nipple, she felt his hand on her hip tighten and the slightest hint of a growl escaped his throat.

“Same for you,” she flashed him a smile and ran her hand along his inner thigh, stroking his hardness.  
“Oh, you are evil,” he leaned forward and pressed her back onto the bedroll. She slept in little more than her small clothes and a sleeveless cotton undershirt. Bull slid a hand up her shirt and Athena pulled it off, revealing her naked torso. Bull began to kiss down her neck and cupped her breast.

“I am also very flexible,” she replied, her voice husky with desire. Her hands traveled down his chest and stomach, tracing his muscles and the scars that crisscrossed his body. He let her hands wander and caress, using his own to study her with the same intensity. After Adamant and his scrape with the Red Templars, their lovemaking had become more desperate, as if each time would be their last. Athena managed to unbuckle his belt and slid his trousers down. His cock twitched at her touch.

Bull was strong, but he yielded to her every pressure and movement, holding his weight when on top and supporting hers when beneath. Always in control, if not of her then himself. She took pleasure in surprising him, hearing the hitch in his breathing or the involuntary jerk of his hips for just that second before he was in control again. 

She moved her hands up and down his length and Bull closed his eye, he moved his hips and thrust gently into her hands. He hooked one finger around her small clothes and pulled at them. Athena lifted her hips up and pulled her knees together, allowing Bull to pull them off in one practiced movement. She smiled up at him and he returned her grin. But something in her face caused him to pause for a moment.

“What are you—“ 

Athena seized her opportunity. She wrapped her legs around Bull’s chest and slid onto him. She grabbed onto his horns and arched her back as she felt him enter her, hot and thick and hard. Biting down on his shoulder she lifted her lower back off the bedroll and rocked against him. His hands were on her hips and he pressed into her, a hiss leaving his body. He straightened himself and thrust gently, watching her face in the dim candlelight.

She uncrossed her ankles and straightened her legs in front of his chest so her heels rested on his shoulders. The sudden change of pressure caused him to gasp and he fell forward. He caught himself but she braced his chest with her legs. 

“Told you I was flexible,” she grinned wickedly. Bull merely grunted and leaned back onto his knees, his large hands holding her thighs against him. He held her against him and studied her.

“Want to test that?” He grabbed her ankles in one of his hands, squeezing her legs together. He turned her onto her stomach as he flipped her legs to the side. She pushed up on her hands and looked over her shoulder. Bull released her ankles and his hands found her waist, holding her firmly as he took her from behind. Her legs wrapped around the back of his, keeping him close. 

Athena reached for him and he leaned in to kiss her. She arched her back and he held her against his chest, her hands gripped his horns, her face nuzzled the scruff on his chin.

His hands traced her chest and stomach as he thrust deep into her. She buried her teeth in his neck to stay quiet and he did the same. He held her close as his hips met hers. He picked up speed and she responded in kind, feeling heat begin to move through her body as she climaxed. With a small shudder Bull came, his fingers leaving bruises and his face buried in her hair. They collapsed onto her bedroll. Bull rolled onto his back, breathing heavily. Athena rolled on top of him.

“We've got to stop meeting like this,” she murmured, half asleep. She traced the familiar pattern of his tattoos.

“I…I have never…” He started.

“Bull?”

He kissed the top of her head. “You're something else, Boss.”

“So are you, Iron Bull.”

He laughed softly. “Mind if I stay a while?”

“Not at all. Nightmares?”

He shrugged. “They come and go.”

"I sleep better when I’m near you, too.”

Bull gently patted her bottom. “Who wouldn't sleep well next to you?”

She punched him on his chest. “You ass,” she yawned. She could hear his heavy breathing and soon drifted off to sleep.

I love you, caught in both their throats, both afraid of how the other would respond.

=======================

She was up early and dressed without waking the sleeping giant in her tent. The sun had not risen yet and no one else was awake. She stoked the cooking fire with little success. Suddenly it came to life and she turned to see Dorian standing behind her. She hung the kettle over the fire.

“Was that your doing?”

“I wouldn't want you to strain a muscle, slaving away at a fire like some common maid.”

Athena rolled her eyes and began to muddle some leaves in her mug. Dorian sniffed the air.

“That isn't tea, it's—“he snatched the mug out of her hands. “Kafass, is that rashvine?” He grimaced.

“And blood lotus. I add elfroot to mask the bitterness.”

“Rashvine and blood lotus…please tell me that is not your usual breakfast tea.”

Athena shook her head and snatched the mug from his hands. “It's just a precaution.”

“Vishante kafass, are all you southerners barbarians!?”

She glared at him. “Any suggestions? I figured the Herald of Andraste shouldn't get knocked up. Goodness know what Josie would do about it.?

Dorian spluttered, furious. It took him several minutes to regain the ability to speak in complete sentences. Athena poured boiling water into her mug and drank the bitter tea quickly to avoid gagging. Dorian finally took a deep breath and snatched the empty mug from her hands.

“Give me a week and access to the rare specimens in the Skyhold garden, and I will have your solution. Maker’s breath, that combination you drink, you're lucky it doesn't kill you…” He walked off muttering. He stormed past Blackwall who looked at Athena, confused. She shrugged. He laughed and began to prepare breakfast. She put the kettle back over the fire.

It had become a well-oiled machine after so many months of travel. Every morning Varric made coffee and Athena made tea. Solas and Blackwall usually organized breakfast, sometimes Sera would help—she had finally stopped burning the toast. Blackwall would leave snares for their dinner and Cassandra would collect more firewood, or water, or something that required heavy lifting. She had proved hopeless at cooking. Dorian made everything so spicy that only Bull could eat it. Bull and Blackwall nearly always cooked supper. Varric refused to do more than help with coffee in the morning, but provided amiable company so no one complained. No one dared ask Vivienne, but she was adept at placing wards, and did so before bed every night. Athena was happy to do anything, but was rarely asked. Cole watched and would join Athena or Solas when they foraged. Everyone had a place, and everyone seemed satisfied with it. So it was no surprise to her when Varric sat down next to her and began to spoon black powder into a metal coffee pot. He scratched the scruff on his chin and grunted. No one talked to Varric before his coffee. Athena poured water into her teapot. Soon the others emerged from their tents to sit by the campfire.

A few minutes later a raven arrived with a letter from Josephine. The Inquisitor was needed back at Skyhold as soon as possible. She frowned and began to scribble a reply when Bull sat next to her.

“They need you back at Skyhold, Boss.”

“But there is still work to be done here. We just cleared that Manor and there are others, and—"

“Hey,” Bull ran a calloused thumb along her cheek. “This is what being in charge means. Less fighting, more tea parties.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Be careful, Violet, or Ruffles will come up with a marriage contract for you and some powerful noble.”

Athena laughed until she noticed Varric's expression.

“You're kidding, right? As far as they're concerned I'm Qunari. No one would want to—“

“Cullen’s been getting requests night and day since Halamshiral, and he's not noble born,” Blackwall added.

"He's not nearly as pretty as you, Buckles."

“Not helpful.”

Bull made a noise in his throat and slipped his hand around hers in a protective gesture.

“Whatever,” Athena shrugged, “I'm not worried about it. No one needs to marry for politics. And I'm certainly not going to be used as a tool for some creepy noble with a fetish.”

Bull squeezed her hand. “But what if—“

She shook her head. “What is the point of a blighted army if you can't use it?”

Vivienne sighed. Sera clapped. And Blackwall squeezed her shoulder.

“If I do have to go,” she looked at Bull. “Can I leave you to finish what we started? I can have the Chargers sent down as well.”

Bull looked surprised. “Yeah, Boss, whatever you want. You sure you'd one want to leave Cass or—"

“No. I trust that you will take care of the people here. And killing war criminals should be fun. No demons.”

He grinned, “I'm good at killing stuff. Sure. Whatever you want.”

“I'll send the Chargers down to help you out. And I'll see you when you get back.”

By the time they returned to Skyhold Spring was in full bloom. The Inquisition’s power and influence covered much of Orlais and Ferelden and even snaked further north towards Nevarra and Antiva. This meant that Athena's presence at Skyhold was important, but she would also be required to travel more frequently. Solas requested help in the Exalted Plains while Cullen had finally located Samson’s Tranquil Maddox in Tevinter. Athena had Josephine organize her itinerary and visited Dagna in the Undercroft to see if she could figure out a way to split a dragon’ tooth in half.


	33. Chapter 33

_Boss,_

_Back in the Western Approach with the Chargers. Josie sent us out to finish off Adamant. Says it was your idea to “keep me busy,” but killing demons isn't the way to do it. Don't like it, too many bad memories of this place. But I guess watching it get blown up will make me feel better._

_Heard the Temple of Dumat was a shit show from Varric. Sorry I missed it. How's Cullen doing?_

_You take care of yourself._

_Bull_


	34. Chapter 34

“Andraste’s ass, Sparkler! How did you make it all the way to Ferelden from here?” Varric grumbled, shaking the sand out of his boot. 

“Without your marvelous companionship? I honestly don't know, Varric.”

The abandoned temple of Dumat lay further North than she had ever been. Their camp was only a few hours by horseback, but she would be happy to leave the barren wasteland behind. There weren't many of them. Bull had taken the Chargers on an assignment and Cullen had insisted on traveling light and fast, which meant fewer troops.

Athena handed Varric her wine skin. He refused.

“It's water.” She promised.

Varric snatched the bladder and drank. “Thanks,” he said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hands. 

“We'll be home soon.”

He grunted and scowled into the fire.

“You met Sampson in Kirkwall, didn't you?” Cullen asked.

Varric nodded. He didn't feel like talking. Neither did Athena. She had heard enough of Hawke’s stories about the Templars in Kirkwall to know where Sampson fell on the spectrum of Cullen to Meredith. If Cassandra had not convinced Cullen to join the Inquisition…she squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to imagine him corrupted. 

Watching him warm his hands by the campfire, Athena realized that at the very least he knew or might have been friends with the Templars who killed her father. He must have realized that at some point as well, but he never asked.

“Cullen, are you sure you want to come tomorrow?” Athena asked, for what may have been the hundredth time since leaving Skyhold. The poor man couldn’t be within a hundred feet of Red Lyrium without getting ill, she worried about what prolonged exposure could do to him. Well, Dorian worried and told her about it. He’d never say anything, though.

“Yes. Sampson is my responsibility,” he replied. He turned and smiled, a warmth in his expression that was new between them. “But, thank you, for your concern. I—I will be careful tomorrow.”

“Please do,” Dorian muttered. Cullen flashed Dorian a wide smile.

==========================================================================  
They could see the smoke from the Horizon as they rode. The temple of Dumat was an immense structure, all the more impressive given its age but much of it had fallen to ruin. There were no guards stationed on the battlements or outer gates, meaning the temple had been abandoned, save a skeleton force to protect Maddox. 

Athena could see the effect the Red Lyruim had on both Dorian and Cullen, but neither would admit it. Vivienne refused to move past the gates once she saw how much of the corrupted rock was around. Solas did not make it much further. 

She should have known better, than to think Dorian would leave her side—even if the blighted rocks were killing him. And Cullen would not leave Dorian. They made it through most of the courtyard without any issue. Varric and Sera took out most of the opposition before it got too close, their arrows falling like rain on their enemies. Blackwall kept point, making sure that the monstrosities that used to be men met him headlong, before Athena’s daggers found their mark. 

They heard the roar from the stairwell. The behemoth carried an oversized war hammer that was encased in red lyrium, much like its wielder. How something that was encased in rock could move that fast she was uncertain, but she barely managed to dive out of the way as the hammer pounded the ground. 

The beast glared at her and lifted its weapon in the air. Blackwall pulled Athena behind him and she pressed her back against his to help absorb the impact of the blow that never came. A crack of thunder boomed as a lightning bolt charged through the behemoth. It turned, mid swing, to strike at Dorian.

“Andraste preserve me—Dorian!” Cullen shouted as he pulled Dorian back. Athena looked over Blackwall’s head to see both Dorian and Cullen fly through the air and crash into a stack of crates with a sickening thud. 

“No!” Athena shouted. She rushed pass Blackwall and leapt onto the back of the behemoth, daggars in hand. She sank them both into it's neck and with a heave, lopped its head off. She jumped off of it before it fell to the ground and landed a few feet from Cullen's unmoving form.

"Dorian! Cullen!" She called. Doian moaned and got up on one knee. He was bleeding from the temple and was covered in cuts and bruises. He stumbled and sank down by Cullen.

"Vishante kafass, Cullen," he whispered his hands cradling the stubbled cheeks of the commander. 

"Healer—now!" Athena screamed, and tilted a healing potion into Cullen's mouth. Red lyrium shards were embedded in his shield and his plate armor.

He took a ragged breath and opened his eyes. "Dorian," he moaned.

"I'm right here," Dorian replied. "Where does it hurt?"

"My...arm..." Cullen wheezed. Athena and Dorian managed to unstrap the shield. 

"Don't move, Amatus," Dorian whispered. He looked over at Athena, wide-eyed.

"I can stand," Cullen replied. 

"You shouldn't, Cullen. Just...wait for a minute." Athena urged. 

Two medics ran over and helped pull off some of Cullen's plate armor. His arm was broken and he had fractured a few ribs. His eyes were red rimmed and watering. The lyruim exposure was dangerous. 

"Get him out of his armor. Cullen, you and Dorian can follow—but please, be careful. And if you need to...just get him out of here." 

He nodded. 

Athena stood and pressed into the temple with the others.

================================   
She stood over Maddox's body, her head pounding. "Search the place," she muttered, rifling through papers on Maddox's bedside table. Between the fire and the dead bodies and lyrium sh felt ill. She grabbed a stack of letters and resolved to read them outside when she saw Cullen hobbling down the stairs. He had a bandage around his head and his arm was in a sling. His shirt was covered in blood and he looked pale. Dorian hand Cullen's good arm around his shoulders and was supporting most of the weight, despite his own injuries. 

“What are you doing here?!” She demanded.

“He wanted to see for himself…” Dorian replied. His nose started to bleed.

“Cassandra—help Dorian. We need to get you two out of here.”

She slung Cullen's arm over her shoulder and helped him up the stairs.

“Did…did you find anything?” Cullen asked, before wrenching and vomiting over the bannister.

“We found some notes from Sampson and some of Maddox’s tools. I'm sure we have enough for a Dagna to figure something out. You cannot be around this stuff…” 

“I'm fine—“

“Stubborn as a mambari, you are. If not for your sake then Dorian's.” 

“What?” Cullen turned to see Dorian collapse behind them.

“Maker!” Cullen cried. He tried to run over and doubled over in pain.

“Ugh,” Cassandra groaned. “You two are ridiculous.” And she lifted Dorian over her shoulders and carried him out.  
“I—I didn't know,” Cullen stammered. “He said he was fine…”

“Just like you are, right? Come on.”

She managed to half drag Cullen out of the temple before much of the ceiling gave way. He finally fainted from the pain, and Athena had him taken out on a stretcher. 

“Alright, Buckles?” Sera asked as they walked past the main gates. 

Athena shook her head. “I wish Bull was here.”

Sera rested her head on Athena's shoulder. They watched the last of the scouts pass by with whatever they could salvage from the burning building.

“Me too,” Sera whispered. “Things seem safer when he’s around.”


	35. Chapter 35

_Dear Bull,_

_I can hear you pouting in your last letter. But don't feel too bad, there were loads of demons at the Temple of Dumat as well, and a Red Lyrium Behemoth nearly killed Cullen, but he's getting better. Dorian is happily nursing him back to health. And I think Cullen likes the attention._

_On our way back east we went back to the Exaulted Plains to help Solas' friend/sprit/demon/thing. Apparently it was a sprit of wisdom that got corrupted when it was pulled from the Fade against its will. It also spoke Elven, which I thought was interesting. Dorian things that it is because spirits communicate telepathically, so it can speak whatever language it needs to. I'm re-reading a book on spirits and demons, but its terribly dry. And you probably don't want to hear about it._

_Solas' friend died, or faded away, or whatever happens to spirits. It was kind of sad to see. I've also never seen Solas so angry. He actually killed a bunch of Ostwick Circle mages because they bound his friend against its will. Then he left. I'm hoping we will see him back at Skyhold because he is the only one who seems to know anything about the mark. And he's kind of grown on me._

_We never really talked about Adamant—maybe we can when we both get back to Skyhold. Dorian says you had a hard time while I was in the Fade. He also says we never talk about important things because we're afraid of damaging one another. Its an interesting thought._

_I miss you, I'm sorry this isn't longer, we are about to head out._

_A_

=========================================================================

_Athena,_

_Cullen came back to Skyhold alone, said you got diverted to the Hissing Wastes? Josie’s got another job for us and we will be heading to the Free Marches._

_Listen, I'm no expert but what is the point of having a Qunari bodyguard if you aren't around for him to guard?_

_I miss you too. Is there something going on with your mark that I should know about? Solas hasn't come back to Skyhold yet but Red will keep a lookout._

_Bull_


	36. Chapter 36

_Bull,_

_No one told me you'd be going to the Free Marches. That does explain why you didn't come to join us in the Hissing Wastes. Be careful, Kirkwall in particular is not to keen on our kind. I know you can handle yourself but I worry. Seems to be contagious._

_I am in desert as far as the eye can see. Blackwall keeps telling me stories of how he almost died in a sandstorm…not helpful. But at night…the stars come out and just fill the sky like a million diamonds glittering. It is beautiful. And cold. Sleeping alone in my tent is awful now…I wake up shivering and know the only thing I need is across the blighted Waking Sea._

_We discovered Venatori activity out here, so once we've gotten rid of these ‘Vints we should be heading back to Skyhold. Looking forward to seeing you there._

_Cassandra also wants you to know that she's a perfectly acceptable body guard. I suppose it would be a waste of my energy to remind you both that I am certainly capable of taking care of myself._

_The mark is fine, gets better as we close rifts, but Dorian worries about the long-term consequences. But it's just Dorian. He clucks around me like a mother hen. He tells me I'll miss it when he's gone. Which is probably true._

_The others send their hellos. And miss your cooking. I miss that, and other things…which I should probably stop thinking about since Cole is here._

_A_


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You can't have a romance with Bull without the best scene in the entire game! Below is my version of events.

The Chargers had not returned from the Free Marches by the time Athena was back at Skyhold. However, Dagna had figured out a way to split the Dragon tooth and Athena worked with the Arcanist to design the necklace. 

Corypheus was in the Arbor Wilds, and it was likely they would need to launch a formal campaign against his army of Red Templars and Venatori. She was determined to wait for the Chargers and wanted to ensure that the Infirmary was completed and fully stocked to deal with the injured soldiers after the campaign. In the meantime, Josephine sent missives to their allies and their army would head out within the next few weeks.

She was packing in her room when a runner arrived to announce the Chargers had returned to Skyhold. Athena grabbed her gift for Bull and sprinted down the steps. Krem was unloading the horses at the stable.

“I hear we have a quick turnaround, your worship.”

“Yes, I'm sorry about that, you could probably use the rest.”

Krem shrugged. “Part of the job. Besides, we nail this ancient Magister’s ass and we all get to rest for a while. Anyway, the Chief went to the tavern to get some food and clean up.”

“Thanks, Krem.”

“Your worship.”

Athena ran over to the Herald’s Rest and found Bull in his usual spot in the back. He smiled when he spotted her in the doorway.

“Aren't you a sight for sore eyes,” he said as she got close. Athena kissed his cheek.

“I have something,” she began, but changed her mind. “Can we talk?”

“I got something for you too,” Bull stood and took her hand. “Let me go first.” And he pulled her up the stairs.

She had only been in his room a handful of times. It was clean, and had started looking like someone lived there. Dorian had hung curtains up in the small window, and at the foot of the bed lay a small foot locker filled with various trophies from past jobs: a bottle of Arbor Vint port, a scale from the Ferelden Frostback they fought the previous Fall, a set of well-sharpened cooking knives in a leather case, leather polish, horn balm, ointment for his joints, shaving cream and a straight razor, a sharpening stone, and a variety of candies and cooking spices he had collected through his travels. He had begun to put roots down, but could fit all his cherished possessions in a small box and be off in a moments notice. The life of a mercenary. Shrokakar was similar.

Bull lit a few candles and pulled a small bottle of oil out of his footlocker. He uncorked it and handed it to Athena. It smelled of lavender and vanilla. She closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply. While his back was turned she untied the small pouch holding the necklaces from her belt and placed it on top of his dresser.

Bull turned and smiled broadly. She smiled back and handed him the bottle. He took it and placed it on a small table next to his bed. He kissed her neck and traced her torso with his hands. She ran her hands down his chest. He had taken off his harness and she traced his tattoos with her fingers. He unbuckled his belt and his trousers dropped to the floor. He stood, naked, his body radiating heat.

“There we go. No Inquisition. No war. Nothing outside this room. Just you and me,” he whispered. The bed creaked as he lay down. Athena rolled on top and he quickly began to unbutton her tunic.

“What's the oil for?” She asked between kisses.

“Oh, you'll see.” His voice was deep with desire and his hands began to tug at her leather breeches. She pressed her hips into Bull and felt him grow hard under her. “So, what did you want to talk about?”

She was in the midst of pulling her tunic off when the door burst open and Cullen walked in. She had forgotten Bull’s room could be accessed from the battlements.

“Sorry to disturb your rest, Inquisitor, but our fortifications —Oh, sweet Maker!”

Athena squeaked and pulled her shirt closed around her chest. Cullen looked up and yelped at the sight of Bull, who, to his credit, smiled and waved at the Commander.

“Cullen! How's it going?”

Using a stack of reports to shield his eyes and blushing from his neck to his eyebrows Cullen began to back out of the room. Only to have Josephine march past him.

“Is the Inquisitor awake? I thought perhaps we…”

Athena couldn't move. She managed to wave weakly and wondered how they had found her. She had the distinct impression Leliana was tired of her sneaking.

“Can I help either of you with something?”

“I am SO sorry,” Cullen spluttered.

Josephine simply stood and stared at Bull as if rooted to the ground. “I cannot move my legs.” She muttered.

And then Cassandra charged in.

“Is something the matter—oh!” She yelled in surprise.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Bull cursed.

Yep, Athena thought. Definitely Leliana's doing.

Cassandra turned to Cullen.

“Do you see this?” She demanded.

“NO.”

She fixed her gaze at Athena.

“I take it—“

“Actually, she's the one whose been taking it.” Bull leaned back and flexed a bit. Cullen laughed.

“I apologize for interrupting what I assume was a...momentary diversion?” That was Cassandra, all duty all the time.

“Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun,” Cullen added.

“Who wouldn't be a little curious?” Josephine peaked out from behind Cassandra.

Their words flared Athena's temper.

“This was more than just a momentary diversion. And Bull and I intend to continue.” She looked Cassandra in the eyes. “I hope that won't be a problem?”

“No!” Cullen blurted.

“Not at all,” added Josephine.

“A surprise, I'll admit.” Cassandra’s lip curled into a small smile. “But not a problem.”

“We’ll leave you be,” Cullen finally turned around.

“Yes, do enjoy yourselves,” Josephine smiled as Cassandra pulled her out of the room.

And the three backed out of the room and closed the door behind them.

Well, that killed the mood, she thought. Bull seemed to be on the same page. He sat up and held her chin in his hand, tilting her eyes to meet his.

“You okay, Boss?”

“I think we may have scarred poor Cullen.”

Bull laughed.

“But,” she took a deep breath, “since we have a moment.”

Athena grabbed the small pouch from his dresser and sat down next to him.

“What's that?”

She slid the necklaces out and showed them to him.

“A dragon’s tooth, split in half. So that no matter how far apart life takes us, we're always together.”

She handed Bull his half of the necklace and they sat in silence for some time. Finally, he spoke.

“Not often people surprise me, Kadan.” He grinned and tied the necklace around his neck.

“Kadan?” Athena's heart hammered.

“Kadan,” he kissed her. “It means, ‘my heart’.”

“Kadan,” she murmured and kissed him back.

“You have it, take good care of it.” He pulled her on top of him.

“Of what?”

“My heart. It's yours.”

“And mine is yours. I don't care what others think or see. We belong together, Bull.”

_But Qunari don't have sex for love,_ she heard somewhere in the back of her head. But maybe, it didn't matter anymore.

“Always, my Kadan, always.”


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluffy scenes before we get into more action. I realized that Dorian never talked about Cullen, so there is a smidge of that.

One of the benefits of being open about her relationship with Bull meant that she was able to share a tent with him as they traveled towards the Arbor Wilds. Dorian was thrilled he wouldn't have to share a tent with Bull during the journey. Sometimes she would see Bull in a quiet moment, playing with the dragon’s tooth necklace and smiling. He called her Kadan and her heart fluttered each time. She wondered if it would ever stop. She wondered if this was love. 

It was hard to talk of love and the future when you were supposed to be dead many times over. Even before the anchor and falling into the Fade. It was also hard to ignore the whispers she would hear and shadows she would see out of the corner of her eyes. Always about him. 

Dorian had spent weeks combing over every book he could find, but no one had ever encountered a Fear demon as powerful as the Nightmare. Athena didn't fully believe they killed it, and wondered if it would come to her. If that was why she had nightmares. 

“You likely have nightmares because of trauma,” he repeated for what was likely the hundredth time. He lounged on her couch, surrounded by stacks of books, none of which had provided a satisfactory answer to her symptoms. He rubbed his eyes. “Kafass, I'm starving.”

“Food should be here any minute. So you don't think that some part of the demon grabbed a hold and is…I don't know, still there?”

“That's not how it works and you know it. Didn't you read Enchanter Mirdromel's book on spirits?”

“Yes, twice.”

“So you know that while possession is possible through dreaming it manifests differently.”

“Yes, like Arl Eagan’s son Connor.”

“Precisely. Though Cullen challenges the assumption that Pride Demons are the most powerful and after Adamant I may be inclined to agree with him.”

“But—“

“Bull has nightmares, as does Cullen. Neither of them were in the Fade.”

Athena flopped onto her bed. “Fine. Point taken.”

The food arrived and they ate by the fireplace in silence. Athena played with her food.

Dorian sighed and leaned back in his seat. “Not that I mind joining my friend for dinner, but might I inquire as to why a certain one-eyed mercenary isn't here in my place?"

Athena sighed, "I told him I needed to pack. I just..."

"Trouble in paradise?"

She bit her lower lip and stabbed at a potato with her fork. "Dorian, what does it feel like to be in love?"

"I—what?"

"How do you know when you love someone?"

"Vishante kafass, you are asking me?!"

"Who else should I ask?" She threw her fork onto the table. "Varric got ditched at the altar and just writes letters to the woman he loves. Cassandra reads too many romance novels and believes that people need to 'woo' one another. I'm not bothering with Vivienne, Cole, or Solas. You are my best friend. Who else should I ask? Blackwall? He just sort of sighs around Josie."

Dorian's face softened, "It is not easy for me to answer that. In Tevinter, what happens between two men, it is passion and no more."

"But Cullen—"

"True, the Commander and I have spent some time together..."

"Dorian—"

"That doesn't mean—"

"Bullshit."

“I don't know!” Dorian shouted. “Satisfied?”

“You haven't talked about it with him? It's been months.”

“Vishante kafass, you are not one to criticize!” Dorian stood up and made for the stairs. Athena ran after him and grabbed his arm, he spun around, fury and terror written across his face. Athena pulled him into an embrace.

“I'm afraid of what he'll say, too. Come sit.”

She led him over to the couch and they sat together in silence. She curled into a ball and laid her head on his lap. Dorian ran his fingers through her hair.

“I'm going to tell him,” she said, after several minutes.

“Tell him what?”

“I'm going to tell Bull that I love him. I do, right?”

“Yes.”

“And you're in love with Cullen.”

“I—I cannot allow myself,” Dorian stammered. Athena sat up.

“Dorian, I watched you two after the Temple of Dumat. Half the reason he got injured was because he was so focused on guarding you.”

“It is not so simple as that—“

“Just…try. I'll do the same.”

“I have made the mistake of wanting more in the past.”

“We're not in Tevinter, Dorian. Talk to Cullen, he may surprise you. Who knows, maybe he worries you don't care about him?”

Dorian’s eyes widened. “He couldn't, I mean…”

She shrugged. “He's a pretty simple guy, Dorian. All I know is he seems a lot happier, and I imagine it's because of you. Getting him outside, making sure he eats...”

“Maker’s breath, he would eat his meals at his desk like some barbarian, and he still hasn't fixed the hole in his roof...“ His voice trailed off. He leaned his head onto Athena's shoulder.

"Will you take your own advice for once? And I'll do the same."

"Fasta vass, I will." 

=========================================================================

The day before they made the push into the Arbor Wilds, Athena and her friends made camp at the southernmost tip of the Emerald Graves. Athena was grateful for the chance to bathe in the river to cool off, as the heat did not abate after the sun dipped below the horizon, despite the fact that it was barely summer. Cullen was a two day ride ahead of them with the Inquisition and Orlesian armies. Ravens seemed to arrive in an endless stream as news traveled between the various camps and scouts reported back to one another. 

The mood was subdued, as was to be expected. Athena studied the rune Dagna had created. It was the size of Bull's hand but surprisingly light.

"You know how to use that thing, Violet?" Varric asked. He shoved another half potato in his mouth.

"Sure, Varric. I just wave it around and say the magic words."

"Not really Kadan?"

"No Bull, the materials in the rune are supposed to counteract the magics within Sampson's armor. Or something else I don't understand."

"Hey, if Widdle says it'll work, it'll work," Sera shoved a third fish into her mouth. Athena was still surprised by the amount of food the elf could ingest.

"We have to get to him first," Athena muttered. Blackwall patted her knee.

"It will be alright, child."

"But how are we even going to—"

"Hey, I'm gonna get you to that temple, Kadan."

She nodded and played with the red silk ribbon tied around her hand. The snap of logs in the fire was the only noise. Then Cole appeared next to Bull.

"She almost says the word sometimes. _Katoh _. She tastes it in her mouth, sweet release a breath away, tongue tying it tenderly like you tie her. But she doesn't. For you, and for her because it makes it mean more. A fuller feeling, a brighter burst." He stared into the fire, oblivious to everyone's wide eyed stares. Athena felt heat creep up her cheeks.__

__Bull coughed, "Yeah. How's she feel about you saying this in front of everybody?"_ _

__Athena took a deep breath and looked up at Bull, part of her wanted to disappear, but what was she ashamed of? Everyone knew she and Bull were together. Not that they needed details. She cleared her throat._ _

__"Bull and I are consenting adults, and there's nothing wrong with what we choose to do in bed." Bull smiled at her from across the fire. She returned his smile._ _

__Cole looked up, confused. "Not just in bed. Sometimes it's up against the wall. Once on the war table."_ _

__Athena studied the rune in her hands with a newfound intensity. Her companions burst out laughing._ _

__"Pfft! Hope you took her right up the Dales," Sera cackled, punching Bull in the shoulder._ _

__Dorian let out a hearty laugh, his first since Cullen left their company a day before._ _

__Blackwall put his arm around her shoulder and Athena leaned against him. She looked into the Warden's face. He smiled at her and winked, "I look forward to informing Cullen."__

Athena groaned and covered her face. "I hate all of you. If a rift opened up right now and swallowed me I'd be fine with that."

Varric speared another potato. "Listen, do whatever works for you. You don't have to act _restrained _in front of us."__

__Sera fell onto the ground laughing. Bull caught her eyes from across the fire. He smiled and inclined his head. She stood up._ _

__"Well, I'm going to bed."_ _

__"Aww, Violet, don't be mad."_ _

__"I'm not. We've got a long day ahead of us. Red Templars to fight, and I need this guy to tie me up and have his way with me. No objections, I assume?"_ _

__Dorian snorted as he was sipping wine and ended up having a coughing fit. Sera slapped him on the back. She grinned up at Athena._ _

__"Good on you, Buckles."_ _

__"Iron Bull?"_ _

__"Yes Boss."_ _

__With two large steps Bull standing in front of her. He grabbed her waist and lifted her in the air, throwing her over his shoulder like she was a tiny weightless thing. The whoops of their companions followed as he carried her off. He lowered her to the ground when they got to their tent._ _

__"You okay, Kadan?"_ _

__"Yes, now shut up and kiss me."_ _

__"Can do."_ _


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bull's POV for the fight in the Arbor Wilds.

The Arbor Wilds was a muggy overgrown rainforest teeming with Venatori mages, Red Templars, and strange looking Elves who attacked both Inquisition and Corypheus’ forces. Cullen led from the front line while Leliana and her Scouts provided blitz attacks on the enemy’s camps, destroying supply lines. Blackwall led a team of Grey Wardens while Vivienne coordinated the Mages. The Chargers were going to be used as Athena’s personal guard to get her and Morrigan to the Temple of Mythal. 

The very air they trudged through seemed solid, the humidity was so high. “Remember how I complained about the cold? Forget I ever said anything,” Dorian muttered, wiping sweat off his brow with a damp handkerchief. “This is worse.” 

“Reminds me of Seheron,” Bull ran his finger over the dragon’s tooth that hung on his neck, “and not in a good way.” 

“What are you both complaining about? You’re tall.” Varric grumbled, pushing a large palm frond out of his face. 

They trudged through the jungle for most of the morning, the heat growing despite the fact that the sun was hidden by the thick canopy of trees. Even Cassandra was grumbling by the time they found Cullen at the mouth of the river near the temple’s entrance. The Chargers stayed behind with the Inquisition soldiers to guard the entrance. Bull tugged Athena’s arm and pulled her aside. 

“Kadan,” he said quietly, “just so we’re clear. I see that ‘Vint or his dragon, I’m coming after you, got it?” 

“Got it. I'll see you on the other side of this thing.” Athena kissed him and ran into the temple with Solas, Morrigan, Varric, and Cassandra. 

Bull stood next to Cullen. “I know I’m not the Commander, here. But we don’t have the forces to hold the Temple if there’s a large push from the enemy.” 

Cullen nodded, “We’re expecting reinforcements.” 

Sera’s whistle cut through the air and Bull reached for his Greataxe, “You’d better hope they get here soon.” He muttered as a hulkling red lyrium giant lumbered down the hill. “Chargers, with me!” 

======================================

For The Iron Bull, time has no meaning when he fights. It is only the ache in his shoulder and in his bad ankle tell him time has passed. Despite the sharp protests in his arms, he heaved the large axe overhead, determined to keep the enemies' forces out of the Temple and away from Athena. Dorian, however, was a walking timepiece, and with every passing minute became more concerned about what was going on in the temple. 

“Vashanta Kafass, how long does it take to find a blighted mirror?” He mopped his brow with a dripping hankerchief. The Red Templars came in endless waves, and while they had managed to hold them off, exhaustion was going to win out in the long run. Even Cullen’s stamina seemed to be waning. 

“Its been two hours!” Dorian screamed as he sent a bolt of lightning through a charging Red Templar that Bull cut down in one hit. 

"Dorian, get behind me!" Cullen shouted as a hail of red lyrium shot through the air. Cullen grabbed Dorian and held his shield in front of them. They stood facing one another for a moment. Cullen did not drop his hand. "Maker's breath, be careful would you?" 

Both men glistened with sweat and the humidity had caused Cullen's hair to curl. They were suddenly oblivious to the fighting around them. Dorian pressed one hand against Cullen's chestplate. 

"Amatus..." He murmured. 

Cullen smiled. "What does that mean?" 

And then they heard the scream of the Archdemon in the distance. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake…” Bull spat. Dorian readied a barrier but the dragon ignored them and headed straight for the Temple. 

“Its headed after the Inquisitor!” Cullen shouted. 

“I got it!” Bull shouted, and took off into the Temple with Dorian and Cole close behind. They found it eerily silent as they walked through the ancient hallways. They found a bridge littered with the bodies of both elves and Grey Wardens. 

“He was here,” Cole whispered. 

“Who was?” Dorian asked. 

“Corypheus. He’s still here.” The pale boy trembled at the site of all the bodies. “He died here, and then…he didn’t.” 

The kid usually didn’t make much sense, but his blabbering was extra confusing in the temple. “Come on,” Bull muttered. 

They continued across the bridge and through golden doors that appeared to have been blown open. Again, nothing but bodies: Elven and Red Templar. 

“Cole," Dorian asked, "can you sense where the Inquisitor is?” 

The boy got a faraway look in his eye. “The rune worked, but it was not enough. How could a human be so strong? The red stone burns and it hurts to breathe…” He shook his head and grabbed Dorian’s sleeve. “She’s hurt! Sampson hurt her!” 

“Son of a bitch!” Bull growled. “Where is he?” Cole pointed and the three took off, weaving through the deserted temple, eventually they heard the distant sound of fighting. 

=======================

They could see the grotesque outline of Corypheus up ahead. Bull ran headlong towards the blighted Magister. Up the hill they spied Athena, Varric, and Solas, who was helping Cassandra stand. Athena was hunched over and blood trickled from her nose and mouth. Morrigan cast a spell and the Eluvian was activated. Corypheus screamed and flew through the air towards them. 

“How did he do that?!” Bull asked Dorian, who shrugged. Athena and the others managed to jump into the mirror before Corypheus could reach it. It shattered. The Magister, knocked back, cursed in frustration. 

“Hey, asshole!” Bull shouted from the balcony. 

“Bull, what are you doing?” Dorian hissed. 

“Kicking this guy’s ass. I’m tired of his shit.” 

Even a passing glance at Athena's injuries spoke volumes. She had been on the receiving end of a hard blow to her chest. If she was lucky she had a few broken ribs at best. At worst, one of those ribs punctured something and she’d drown in her own blood. He’d seen it before. And who knows where they ended up. He was scared and angry and needed to hit something. And the ‘Vint who started the Blight was a good place to start. But Corypheus ignored Bull’s screams and within moments the dragon carried him away from the temple. And, arguably, his army. 

They found Sampson alive but unconscious on the ground. He groaned as Bull hoisted him over one shoulder and carried him back through the temple, dumping him at Cullen's feet. 

"Did you ask Krem?" He asked. 

"I—yes. I did..." Cullen blushed and rubbed his neck with one hand. Bull clapped the Commander on the back and started walking. 

“A raven arrived not five minutes ago,” Leliana reported when they had made it back to the main base camp. “The Inquisitor and Cassandra were both gravely injured, but luckily they arrived in Skyhold through the Eluvian and were seen by the healers right away. The extent of their injuries are currently unknown, but they are alive.” 

Bull’s knees gave slightly with the relief, and within the hour he was packing up what little he brought down to the Arbor Wilds and was readying a horse. To his surprise most of the Chargers and Athena’s inner circle were ready with him, and made no complaint of the grueling pace he set. 

He rode through the night and well into the next day before resting and setting up camp by a river in the Emerald Graves. He had not even packed a tent since he had shared one with Athena on the way down, and Josephine had promised to collect and return the Inquisitor’s belongings so he could leave as soon as possible. 

They ate a small dinner in relative silence. Even the normally boisterous Chargers were subdued. Weeks of travel and fighting left them all drained. There had been no word from Skyhold since they left the Arbor Wilds. Bull laid down on the ground by the campfire and stared at the sky, his hands behind his back. 

He heard quiet footsteps behind him, “We are going to roll out early, Krem.” He said. “You should grab some shut eye.” 

“Will do, Chief,” Krem’s voice was quiet, but he did not move. “Chief?” 

“Yes, Krem?” 

“Me and the boys were talking, and we wanted you to know, with all that’s been going on…with the Qunari and Inquisition and whatnot…well…we’re with you. Whatever happens. I am guessing we’ll stick around with the Inquisition for a while, but…well…just wanted you to know.” 

Bull smiled, “Thanks, Krem. Go get some sleep, tomorrow’s gonna be a long day.” 

“Yes, Chief.” 

He rode through the day and marched straight into the infirmary once he reached Skyhold. They were changing the sheets to one of the beds. Cassandra was asleep in a bed by the window. Her arm and torso were bandaged, and one side of her face was swollen and bruised. Bull pointed at the empty bed and one of the healers—the redhead from Skyhold, he realized—came over. 

“Where's the Inquisitor.” 

“In her quarters. Took a mallet to the chest with no plate armor. She's lucky to be alive.” 

“Thanks.” 

“Are you sure you don't want to stick around? The rooms upstairs are empty.” She arched an eyebrow and he recalled Athena's face after seeing him leave her tent. He felt sick. 

“Uh, I'm good. Thanks.” 

He took the stairs two at a time and burst through the large wooden entrance of the main building. Solas was waiting for him by the throne. His pale skin was mottled with bruises and he moved gingerly. Bull had clearly missed a good fight. 

“Ah, I was hoping you'd be here soon. I need to talk to you about her reckless fighting tactics. I can't seem to talk sense into her.” 

"What did she do now?"


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Athena's POV. Its a little long to address and resolve the Blackwall/Rainier story (as he is an important person to Athena) Chapter notes at the end.

She woke up in her bed, her torso bandaged. She moved to pull her covers off and winced. 

“I would take it easy, if I were you.” 

She looked over and standing by her window was Bull. 

“How did you get here so fast?” 

Bull smiled and walked over to her bed. He offered his hand and she stood up gingerly. “Well, I didn’t take a magical mirror thing, but if you ride hard enough you can move pretty quick.” 

“Sampson, Bull, he moved surprisingly fast considering how heavy his plate armor was. And strong…how is Cass?” 

“She’s still in the infirmary, but I don’t think they’ll be able to keep her much longer. But she has a SHIELD,” Bull fixed his good eye on Athena. “Which is designed to take a heavy blow like that. You don’t carry a shield. And you still refuse to wear heavy armor.” 

“I wasn’t trying to parry his attack.” Athena grumbled, Bull slipped something over her head and helped her arms through, “I was trying to dive out of the way and he was a lot faster than I calculated and I can't move in heavy armor—" She paused and loosed down. "Is this a dress?” 

“Don’t change the subject. Solas told me what happened. You dove between him and Sampson." He pulled the sides of the fabric together and placed a wide band of fabric over her stomach. "Besides, you think you’re going to get a tunic over your head for the next few days? You can’t lift your arms.” 

“I’m supposed to walk around Skyhold in a dress?" She made a sound that reminded him distinctly of Cassandra. "My goal was for both me and Solas to avoid the crazy Red Templar, but he would have cut Solas in half.” 

“You look nice in dresses. Just…don’t do it again? You were lucky Solas’ barrier held up.” 

Athena studied her reflection in the mirror. The dress was a light purple and made of a soft Avaar cotton. The wide straps in front did not connect until almost her navel, where they met a wide grey sash that Bull tied gently around her waist. The skirt was two wide swaths of cloth that had slits up each side nearing her mid thigh. Bull finished knotting the sash. 

“Old trick that Tammasarans used. I had Josephine order the fabric to match your eyes.” 

“I’m worried I’ll flash someone.” 

“Hey, you doubting my knots? If there’s one thing I know, its knots.” He nuzzled her neck. 

“I’m just not used to being so…exposed.” She turned, the fabric flowed and felt soft against her skin, but revealed most of her leg to her hip. “It's not too…” she frowned at her reflection. 

Bull looked up and met her eyes in the mirror. “Too what? You look beautiful. And you need to show off those legs.” 

“Right now all I'm showing off are bandages and bruises.” 

“You should see the other guy. And you will. Cullen's bringing him back for judgment. I'm just glad you're gonna be okay.” 

Bull lifted her off the ground and carried her down the stairs to breakfast. 

====================================================================================

Spring tripped into Summer and the troops slowly meandered back from the Arbor Wilds. Bull taught Athena how to properly tie the dress, which she wore around Skyhold now that the days were hotter and she wasn't training. When sparring she would opt for light armor that allowed her to move efficiently. 

She and Bull fell into a routine easily enough. She would meet him after supper at the tavern, where they would spend time with the Chargers and other members of Athena’s inner circle. Dorian had convinced Cullen to join on a more frequent basis, and Dagna had begun to show up occasionally. Only Vivienne and Solas refused to join in the evening libations. After drinks Bull and Athena would retire to her quarters, where he would stay until her servants arrived with breakfast for the two of them. Despite their nightmares, they resolved to help one another through, which often meant long conversations late into the evening when one woke the other up. 

They would take breakfast, Athena going through reports to prepare for her morning meeting in the War Room, and Bull offering his advice or observations. He would then go train with the Chargers, or spar with Cassandra or Cullen, and relax in the tavern for the afternoon. Occasionally he would join Athena for her afternoon training with Blackwall. Both men were determined she learn to master something other than daggers if she insisted on charging blindly into a fight. 

She had the strength for a long sword or great axe, Bull had argued, but Blackwall insisted that technique was more important than muscle or brute force. She had proved hopeless with a shield, so Blackwall focused on footwork, agility and speed. He built a raised platform for her balance beam, the logic being she would use that instead of the rafters of the stable or the walls of the battlements. Which it did to some extent. She and Sera were often chased off of the roofs by stonemasons or other construction workers. 

When not training, Athena liked to use the narrow beam for acrobatics. She had recently perfected a handspring and had been bugging Blackwall to make her a springboard. He had been resistant to the idea, arguing she already spent too much time climbing around Skyhold, that she was lucky she had not fallen to her death, and that she would likely use it to avoid training. 

She didn't argue with him. She had learned early into their relationship that the old Warden was as capable of denying her as her father had been. So not at all. She knew it would only be a matter of time when she would see it waiting for her by the stables, next to the training dummy and polearms he took away because she used one to launch herself into the hayloft. That had been Sera’s idea and left Athena with a sprained knee. Blackwall lectured her for a full week. 

She was early for her session so she took her boots off and hopped up on the beam. She planted her hands on each side and slowly raised her feet over her head. She focused on keeping her body still as she moved her hands forward and walked on her hands. She arched her feet back over her head and felt one come in contact with the beam, then the other. She let go and kept her balance. 

“You've gotten good at that,” Bull called out. She spun around and almost lost her balance. He reached a hand out but she steadied herself. 

“I thought you said this was a waste of time?” 

“That was before I thought of the applications of you being able to fold yourself in half.” He grinned and she blushed. She jumped into his arms and he lowered her to the ground. 

“What brings you around these parts?” She asked. 

“Looking for Blackwall. He didn't show up for training and I had to cover. He owes me a drink.” 

“What do you mean he didn't show?” 

“As in, did not make an appearance. He's here, isn't he?” 

Athena shook her head. “No, I just assumed he was with the recruits…” She walked over to the stable. His tools were still on his workbench but a note caught her attention. She read it over and over again before handing it to Bull. 

“He left.” 

“What?” Bull studied the letter. 

“How could he just leave?” She felt pain in her chest. Had she done something wrong? The last conversation she had with him he had told her a story about a dog and not speaking up. 'You would have done something.' He had said. Her vision was blurry and she realized she was crying. 

“Hey, hey, Kadan, it's okay…” Bull’s large hands rubbed her back. “It's not your fault. We'll find him. I'm sure there is a good reason behind it. Red will look into it. See, what's this?” 

He picked up a ripped parchment that clearly had been destined for Leliana's desk. 

“What's it say?” She sniffed. 

“Some guy’s gonna be executed in Val Royeaux.” Bull frowned. “Why would he give a shit about some criminal who's going to hang in a week?” 

She wiped her eyes. “Maybe he'll be there?” 

“You want to go to Val Royeaux?” 

She nodded. Bull pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “Then we go. If I have to swim you there myself.” 

“Thank you, Bull.” 

========================================================================================

She stood in the rain and watched as the hangman read the charges leveled against the man with the rope around his neck. The hangman began to read the charges against Mornay. 

“Well, this is grim.” Varric muttered. 

“You'll catch a cold,” Bull tutted, trying to pull her waxed travel cloak over her head. She waved him off. 

“Wait! Stop!” Blackwall's voice rang out. 

“A Gray Warden.” The crowd booed. 

He can't be recruiting now, she thought. 

“This man is innocent of the crimes laid before him. Orders were given and he followed them like any good soldier. He should not die for that mistake.” 

"Then find me the man who gave the order," the hangman replied. 

Bull hissed. 

“Mockingbird, mockingbird,” Cole sang quietly under his breath. 

Blackwall looked out into the crowd. He caught Athena's eyes and sighed. 

"Oh, shit," Varric groaned. 

"Blackwall!" Athena cried out. 

“No. I am not Blackwall. I never was Blackwall. Warden Blackwall is dead, and has been for years. I assumed his name to hide, like a coward, from who I really am." 

The man with the noose around his neck stared at Blackball, bewildered. “You, after all this time.” 

"It's over. I'm done hiding," Blackwall turned to the crowd. 

"No. Please..." Athena whispered. The color drained from her face. Bull held a hand to steady her. 

"I gave the order. The crime is mine. I am Thom Rainier. 

The crowd erupted in a mixture of cheers and boos. 

Blackwall was led away by soldiers and the crowds dispersed. Athena stood, in shock. 

“Mockingbird mockingbird,” Cole hummed. 

Athena shook her head. “It doesn't make sense,” her eyes stung. “He, can't have murdered a whole family…that's not the man we know…” 

“You're right. It's not the man we know. But it’s the man he was. We all have history, Kadan.” 

“But…he lied…” She shook as whispers took over. 

Varric shrugged. Cole fixed his blue eyes on Athena. 

“You'd be surprised what men do on orders” Cole whispered. And then she heard the Nightmare’s laugh as clear as if he was standing next to her. 

“I need Dorian.” 

“He's not here,” Varric's voice was gentle and looked over to Bull. 

“I…I need…” She felt dizzy. She looked behind her, "What? No." 

"Violet, who're you talking to?" 

“You know, Boss, as Inquisitor I am sure you can get permission to talk to him. Get some clarification.” 

It took a moment for her to respond. But finally she nodded her head. “Okay, yes. Where?” 

And, like so many months before, the gentle pressure of Bull’s hand led her through the crowds to where she needed to be. 

================================

There was little talk after she left the dungeon. Blackwall had confessed and desired punishment for his crimes. Cullen and Leliana offered Athena alternatives to watching him swing. But that would mean sitting in judgment of a man who had felt like a father to her over the past year. Complicating matters further was the sinister whispers she would hear when not distracted. 

She spent most of the boat ride across the Waking Sea curled in a ball, muttering to herself. Bull would lie her across his lap and gently stroke the side of her head and hum softly. It was a tune from Par Vollen. Her father would sing it when he tended to his garden. When she would finally fall asleep he would talk quietly with Varric or Cullen. Cole would sit with her and help still her mind as she slept, trying to keep the nightmares at bay. But they couldn't do anything about her own thoughts. 

The three men hunched over a table as the lamp swung with the rocking boat. 

“How is she?” Varric whispered. 

Bull shrugged. “Sometimes it seems like she's not there. Don't know who she's talking to.” 

“Dorian mentioned something like that a few months ago,” Cullen said. 

Varric nodded, “Chuckles said something similar to her about keeping her emotions in check.” 

“This situation has not helped, then,” Cullen looked like he was getting a headache. “What he did. The lies, betrayal…she must be so angry.” 

“Angry?” Bull looked up. “No, anger would be easier. She’s heartbroken.” 

“Heartbroken? But I thought you—“ 

“Not like that, Curly. More like—“ 

“No, I understand. I trusted Meredith.” 

“Well, the Knight-Commander was crazy, Curly, it just wasn't obvious HOW crazy until the end. But Blackwall—Rainier—whatever you want to call him? No one saw this coming. And here I was thinking he was as boring as Choir Boy.” 

“Shit, we've all got blood on our hands, I don't think she holds that against any of us.” Bull looked over, she was still sleeping. She twitched in her sleep. 

“Rainier betrayed his men—“ Cullen snarled. 

“And spent years doing good works and protecting people as Blackwall,” Varric interrupted. 

“Depending on when he switched over, it's an impressive list I saw from Red,” Bull added. 

“That does not just absolve him of his crimes—“ Cullen shouted. 

“You of all people should understand him, then.” Athena's quiet voice cut him off. She walked over and slid next to Bull, who wrapped his arms around her in. In that moment she seemed so young. “Is your time with us not a way of atoning for what you have or have not done?” 

“I—“ Cullen sighed. “I suppose you have a point.” 

“Difference is, Curly is honest about what he did.” 

“You hid Hawke. Lied to Cassandra,” Athena shrugged. “I get WHY, but you did.” 

Varric grumbled and studied his cards. Athena looked up at the ceiling as she spoke. 

“He made a mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake. But the man who joined the Inquisition and fought by our side was not the man who committed those crimes. I have to believe people change or who would I have?” 

“You want him back, Kadan?” 

She nodded. 

“Maker’s breath. I'll send a raven to Leliana.” Cullen left the table.

=======================================================================================

They brought him forward in chains. Athena sat in the large uncomfortable chair. 

“I didn’t think this would be easy but it's harder than I thought,” she said, quietly. Blackwall looked up at her, anger and shame flashed across his face. 

“You could have left me there! I accepted my punishment. I was ready for all this to end. Why would you stop it? What becomes of me now?” 

_Well maybe I wasn’t ready to lose you, too._

“You have your freedom,” Athena replied. 

“It cannot be as simple as that.” 

“It isn't. You are free to atone as the man you ARE, not the traitor you thought you were or the Warden you pretended to be.” 

Blackwall looked up at her. 

“The man I am? I barely know him. But he—I—have a lot to make up for.” He studied his hands, bound by chains. “If my future is mine, then I pledge it to the Inquisition. My sword is yours. If I had said anything less, would an arrow from the rookery have snuffed me like a candle?” 

Athena shook her head and smiled. She waved her hand and he was unchained. 

“Take your post, Thom Rainier.” 

=================================

That afternoon she walked by the stables to check in on him. She found Cole sitting on a hay bale playing with a small carved animal. A bear, perhaps. 

Blackwall spoke, his voice a hoarse whisper, “Cole, if you knew what I am, what I'd done, why didn't you tell the others?” 

“Everyone hides dead things. Everyone pretends. You wanted to fix it.” 

“I'm a murderer.” 

“You don't want to be. You made a new you. You are Blackwall. You killed Rainier.” 

Blackwall smiled, “If only that were possible.” 

“You would stand between Rainier and the carriage. But you can't. It doesn't work like that. So you carry the bodies to remember.” 

“I suppose I do.” 

Athena knocked on the doorway. “Am I interrupting?” 

Blackwall looked bewildered. “No, Inquisitor. How can I help you?” His formality stung. 

“I—do you want me to leave?” She began to fidget with her braid. “I just wanted you to know I missed you—“ 

“Maker’s balls, child,” Blackwall pulled her into a hug. 

“I don't even know what to call you. Rainier or Blackwall.” 

“I've gotten used to Blackwall. Perhaps we could treat it as less of a name and more of a title. Almost like Inquisitor. Reminds me of what I ought to be." 

“Alright then, Blackwall it is.” 

He pointed to a large wooden box next to Cole. 

“Harritt finished the coil yesterday. I just put it together.” 

She walked over and lifted the lid. “You did it! You figured it out?” She hopped up and down, clapping her hands. She kissed his cheek. “You are the best!!” 

“Just be careful, child. I don't want to be the one to tell Bull you broke your neck jumping off that thing.” 

She sprinted out to go play with her new toy. 

“Big hands throw me in the air and I fly, flipping and forgetting for the moment all that has been lost…” Cole smiled as he rubbed the nose of the small wooden bear. 

“What are you on about, boy?” 

“Her father used to toss her in the air. Your gift helps her remember him. You help her.” 

“I won't if she breaks her neck.” 

Athena ran back into the stable. “It works great! I can do a full hand spring and land on the beam!” 

“Then why are you covered in dust?” 

“Well, I missed a few times. But I'm fine. Come! See!” 

“Iron Bull is going to kill me.” Blackwall grumbled as Athena led him out of the stable. 

“Well, if he doesn’t, then Dorian might.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I head cannon that the Nightmare demon did significantly more damage than in game (and as explained earlier, forced our poor Inquisitor to face ALL her repressed memories). As evidenced by her conversation with Dorian, Athena isn't convinced that the demon lost its hold of her. But is it the demon or her own mind?


	41. Chapter 41

As the weather warmed benches and tables were dragged outside of The Herald’s Rest to escape the heat from the overcrowded tavern. Bull and Blackwall constructed large posts that they hammered into the ground. Sera strung up small lights that twinkled against the late summer night sky and illuminated those below. Music and laughter poured out from the tavern, for while Corypheus was still hiding somewhere, the defeat of his army in the Arbor Wilds had bolstered morale.

Dorian swirled the drink in his hand. He was prone to be sentimental when he was tipsy. “Might I pose a question to you,” he asked no one in particular, “If our entire blighted army is still in the Arbor Wilds, then who is in the tavern?”

“Recruits, visitors, servants,” Blackwall counted off on his fingers, “shall I go on?”

Dorian glared at Blackwall.

“Sparkler,” Varric mused, “I can't help but notice you are extra pouty tonight.”

Dorian huffed. “Have any of you given much thought to what happens after this is over? After we deal with Corypheus? I mean, assuming we survive.”

“That's a big if,” Varric shuffled his cards.

“Varric,” Cassandra asked with some hesitancy, “will you join Hawke in Weisshaupt?”

“I don't know, Seeker. Someone needs to help rebuild Kirkwall.”

“Will Fenris join her?”

“More than likely, though Hawke would want him to stay hidden. He'd have to brood first.”

“So,” Dorian mused, “Varric will either go back to Kirkwall or join up with Hawke. Blackwall?”

“I pledged myself to the Inquisition,” Blackwall said, taking a long sip of ale, “and I will serve until I die or am no longer needed.”

“Lovely sentiment,” Cassandra replied dryly.

“And you, Seeker,” Blackwall fixed his dark eyes on Cassandra, “provided you are not made Divine.”

“Ugh,” Cassandra groaned, “I hope not. I do not know. I suppose I will continue to serve, but I have thought about rebuilding the Seekers, I cannot be all that is left.”

“Sod that,” Sera slurred. “I'm staying. You too, right Dorian?”

“I don't know,” he replied, “I have witnessed first hand what one person with the right resources can do. I cannot change my homeland from the outside, and I still believe Tevinter could be better.”

Bull was quiet during the exchange. Krem had also brought up the question of “after.” The only one who did not seem to be thinking about it was Athena herself. She was a mercenary, like him. Would she go back to her Kith? Or would she become a Charger and travel with him? This was the longest he had lived in one place since Seheron, and it was nice to have a room of his own to come back to. An elbow from Varric brought him out of his reverie.

“Hey, Tiny! You there?”

“What?”

“Did you hear anything I just asked,” Dorian grumbled.

“Don't know.”

“What?”

Bull shrugged, “don't know what's next. Got no orders from the Ben-Hassrath, so I guess I'm a free man.”

“You and Buckles are gonna have lotsa babies right?” Sera clapped her hands together.

“Or get married. In the Springtime, we could braid flowers in her hair...it would be so romantic,” Cassandra sighed.

“Qunari don't do that—“

“You aren't Qunari anymore, Tiny.”

“Yes, but—“

Blackwall laughed, “yes but what, freeman?”

“Who is a free man?” Athena’s voice cut through and startled everyone. She slinked over and sat in Bull’s lap. She played with the tooth that hung around his neck. “None of us are free, not really.” She kissed Bull and took a sip from his cup.

“I'll have to remember that for my next book,” Varric mused.

Bull jumped on an opportunity to change the subject, “Hey, Varric, are you gonna write me into one of your stories?”

Varric smiled, “How could I not?”

“When you do, make sure you describe the musculature right. Cause this isn't just endurance work—there was a lot of strength training to get here. You wanna use words like "rippling" or "ripped." "Ripped" is good.” Bull flexed his arms, earning a laugh from the others.  
Varric stroked his chin, “Hmm... The Iron Bull's belly was prone to rippling after every meal. He rarely wore shirts as they ripped under the strain.” Varric grinned and took a sip of his ale. Blackwall and Sera burst out laughing.

Iron Bull pouted for effect. "That hurts, Varric. That's hurtful.”

“Oh, don't listen to him, Bull.” Athena cooed. “I think you are very handsome. Besides,” she winked at Varric, “you are strong enough to hold me in the air for very long stretches of time.”

“See Dorian,” Sera sat down next to him. “You’ll miss this if you go to Tevinter. Piss on families that don't do nothing for ya.”

Dorian took a sip of his drink, “you are right about that, Sera. I will miss this.”


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little smut, a little fluff.

It was easier when he used the gag. But he knew that. There was always a purpose or thought behind everything he did. Or didn't do in this case. 

A quiet moan escapes her lips. All she wanted to do was pull him on top. But he knew that too. The silk rope around her wrists was unrelenting and kept her hands suspended above her head. 

And had she been thinking strategically earlier, she would have locked her legs together and had some type of bargaining chip. But then he knotted the ropes around her knees and it was all she could do to keep herself from screaming. 

He had kept her right at the edge for what had felt like years. His fingers and his mouth traveled her body, worshipping every inch of her body. Never lingering for too long, driving her mad with desire. 

She could say it. One word and he'd stop. She had control over it as much as he did. Katoh. The word hovered between them, unsaid. Much like the word love. She could say it. But she would regret it. 

She yelped as Bull’s tongue flicked her clit. 

“Holy maker, fuck—“ she bit her lip so hard she was afraid she'd draw blood.

Bull chuckled. He knew he was on the right path when she began to use human expressions.

He kissed up her torso. When his lips met hers she kissed him with as much intensity as possible. He shifted his weight slightly and slid into her. She screamed into his mouth.

“Shh, Kadan,” he whispered. And then he moved his hips. She glared at him. His smile widened.

He moved slowly, enjoying the tension she held in her body. Knowing it was only a matter of minutes before it would be gone. He had never pushed her this far before. 

She was so close. 

Bull pulled at one of the small knots on the rope around her knees and they were suddenly free. She wrapped her legs around his waist. He was sometimes surprised at how strong she was. He held her hips as he increased the speed and intensity of his movements. He could feel her tense around him as he moved. It was distracting. 

Bull untied the rope around her wrists and pulled Athena on top of him. 

“I'm all yours, Kadan.” He kissed her and ran his hands through her hair. She rocked herself against him and whimpered into his mouth.

“Oh,” was all she could manage as she came, her whole body shuttering. Her pleasure pushed Bull over the edge and he came, a guttural moan escaping his lips. He fell back against the pillows and she flopped onto his chest. Bull kissed her nose.

“Damn, that was, that was good, Kadan!”

Athena nodded and smiled, “I needed that.”

Bull sat up, “all this time, and you've never said katoh. If I had known you'd last this long I'd have let you pick your own watch word.”  
“You've almost had me a couple of times,” she blushed.

“Good!” Bull looked serious as he studied her face. “I'm a better man for having met you, Kadan.” He said softly, pressing his forehead against hers. “I just hope this made things easier on your end.”

“Not this, you made things easier on my end... And no matter what happens, if we don't make it out of this—”

“Katoh!” Bull’s face was pained. He pulled her close and she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Stop, I can't,” he whispered, his face pressed against her hair. “We’re getting out of this alive. Together.” He kissed her lips and pulled her into his lap. 

_Do I say it? Do I dare._ They had danced around the word for weeks if not months. Her heart hammered in her chest. “Bull…I—I …”

“What is it?”

She exhaled deeply. “I love you, Bull.”

Bull’s arms tightened around her and he leaned back on the pillows, pulling her with him. She lay on his chest, curled into a a ball. Bull tilted her chin up so she would look him in the eyes. He smiled and kissed her on the lips.

“I love you too, Kadan,” he murmured.

She broke into a large smile. “Really?”

“Of course I do.”

“So, after this is all over, assuming we survive…”

“I'm not letting anything happen to you.”

She snuggled into his neck, her forehead pressed against his cheek. “But, after…”

“You're my Kadan, that doesn't change once Corypheus is gone. But we don't know where he is. It could be months before we find what rock he's hiding under, so let's worry about after, you know, after.”

She listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat and found her breathing slow. Her eyelids felt heavy. She sighed and heard Bull’s gentle snoring. They slowly drifted off to sleep tangled in each other's arms.


	43. Chapter 43

The next morning Bull walked her to her meeting in the War Room. 

“This should only take a few minutes,” she said, “wait for me?”

“Sure thing.” He leaned against the wall and studied the view of the mountains through the unfinished wall. It was almost confusing how simple it was to give her what she wanted and how he was learning that his own needs overlapped with hers. Dorian’s question of what came next. Could he justify staying? As long as there was an Inquisition he could, but one day the Inquisition would end, and then what? With no orders to go back too, the thought of having a place to stay and settle down, maybe with her. See, he thought, too many questions. This is why we have the Qun.

Solas had made his dislike of the Qun obvious. But something the elf had said months ago came back into his head, “freedom to live and love and raise a family, not be bred for traits like animals.” Family. Sera had mentioned kids too. Had she talked to Athena about that? They were close. His heart hammered, would she want something like that? Did he, now that the possibility dangled in front of him? He wasn't sure which scared him more. 

He then noticed the sky change color and heard Athena’s blood curdling scream from the other side of the door. He burst into the room to find her kneeling on the ground clutching her hand, which was glowing with an intensity he has not seen before.

“Kadan!”

Her body was rigid with pain.

“It seems Corypheus is not content to wait,” Morrigan noted.

“Inquisitor,” Cullen looked pained, “most of our troops have not returned from the Arbor Wilds!”

Athena blinked and stood, leaning heavily on Bull. “No, it's better this way.” She looked at Bull. “We ride for Haven. I'm finishing this.”

“I will have the horses prepared immediately,” Josephine ran out of the room.

“I will ready a team of scouts to accompany you,” Leliana added and left.

“Andraste preserve us,” Cullen rubbed the back of his head and stared at the broken sky.

“I will meet you at the stable,” Morrigan said and slinked out of the room.

“Kadan, hey, Kadan!” Bull folded her marked hand between both of his. Dorian's words from months ago floated into his head _don't know the long term effect of the mark…”_ He swallowed bile. It might kill her.

“Bull…it...hurts…” She had taken hits during the course of battle that would have crippled others and never complained.

“I know.” He pulled her into an embrace. “We’re gonna fix it right up.”

The door opened and Dorian, Solas, and Vivienne swooped in and escorted her out of the room. Bull waited for the door to shut behind them and then turned to Cullen.

“How many mages did we need before?” He asked.

“I'm sorry?”

“When we sealed the breach the first time, how many mages did we need?”

Cullen shook his head. “We don't have enough here. And that's including those who were too young or frail to participate. We can only hope the mark remains stable enough until we can seal the breach a second time.”

“When it was unstable,” Bull asked, “what was that like?”

Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose. “Unpleasant to witness, likely worse for her.”

Bull nodded and saw himself out of the room.   
=============================

They rode hard to Haven, stopping to rest only one night. Athena had bandaged her hand but Bull noticed that the green light seemed to be traveling up her arm. He forced her to eat and then held her in their tent until she fell asleep. He heard the anxious whispers by the campfire. Solas came and studied the mark before he went to sleep. He frowned as he prodded her hand gently. He looked up at Bull, “I am sorry.”

“Sorry for what? It's not like you did this to her. She's going to be okay, you'll see. We've got to kill his dragon. I'm good at killing things.” He was not sure if he was talking to Solas or himself.

Solas inclined his head, “still…” He murmured and left the tent.

“You are good at killing things, but also, hands so strong yet deft and gentle, healers hands like his.” Cole’s voice was soft and the shadows danced across his pale face.

“His hands?” Bull was confused. Who was Cole talking about?

“Papa would spend hours in the garden, always smelled of elfroot. Hands large and worn from work, yet soft and gentle as he healed the wounds of others, hoping it would take his away…”

“…her father?” Bull asked quietly.

Cole nodded. “But more than that. She used to hurt, haunted and hunted by her memories. You make the hurt less with your heart. You carry each other with you always. When she is in your arms she dreams of the future and small feet kicking in your arms.”

“Small feet…” Bull looked at her face, eerie with the green glow of the mark. He felt his chest constricting.

“It was too tangled, anger with hurt and pain that would tear too easily. It was easy to hate but felt wrong. It is better now, still tangled but not so easily torn. You help so many, The Iron Bull, but you worry that asking is too much.”

Bull said nothing, he watched her sleep.

“Happiness isn't too much to ask for, The Iron Bull.” 

=================================

They arrived at Haven the second evening, Corypheus was waiting for them.

“And, of course, he's being an asshole.” Athena noted, before diving head on into the oncoming demons. Anger had always made her reckless and she was downright furious. She drew her daggers and ran at the Blighted Magister.

“Kadan!” Bull called out, “remember: YOU DON’T CARRY A SHIELD!”

But she didn't care. One of Sera’s smoke bombs filled the air and Athena feinted to the right and landed a hefty blow. Morrigan had transfigured into a dragon, and a small part of Athena wondered what Vivienne’s reaction might have been. 

Corypheus roared in pain and frustration. And then the ground started to shake as the Chantry was lifted high into the air. Athena lost her footing and began to fall, only to feel Bull’s arm around her wrist.

“I got you!” He yelled, and helped pull her onto solid ground, or as solid as a floating rock could be. Athena looked down and saw most of her companions fighting demons. She leaned into Bull.

“I'm finishing this,” she said, “no matter what, Bull.”

He held her face in his hands. “I know, Kadan.”

Athena picked up her weapon and looked around. Varric was brushing off Bianca and looked no worse for the wear. Dorian had a split lip that had swollen quickly, but was fine. She looked at Bull, “no one with a big shiny shield,” she smiled and ran up the stairs.  
“Vishante kafaas,” Dorian cursed, “she will get us all killed.” 

The pain in her hand brought her a level of clarity she had not experienced before. She stayed low and rolled out of the way of oncoming attacks, dodged and weaved her way through demons to find her target. Blackwall's training had truly paid off. She weakened the Magister with every slice and angled blow, and he fled through the floating ruins. All around her two dragons flew and fought in the sky, until one tumbled and hit the ground with a sickening thud. Morrigan tried to get up and slumped over, unmoving. 

“Dorian!” Athena pointed, and soon he was casting a healing spell and Varric was tipping a healing potion into her mouth. Corypheus’ dragon landed in front of them and screamed. Bull roared back and ran at the monster. 

Bull managed to land a blow in the back of the dragon’s hind leg, hobbling it. Varric had learned a few tricks from Sera and hauled a pitch grenade at the beast, slowing it down. Athena used the opportunity to get under the dragon’s belly and thrust a blade into a gap in the scales near its heart. The beast gave a roar and rolled onto its side, where Bull’s Great axe was buried into its skull.

Panting, Athena leaned against the dead dragon to catch her breath. Corypheus’ voice filled the air.

“I am a living God, bow down before me!”

“Maferaph’s balls, this guy doesn't shut up.” Varric grumbled.

“Then let's do that for him,” she took a breath and ran up another flight of stairs where the Magister was waiting. Weakened and tired, he soon stumbled back as Athena pressed onward, her daggers glinting like lightning. The green glow from the anchor cast an eerie light on her face. Corypheus began to channel the orb, panic registering in his face.

“Dumat, I beseech you. If you exist, if you ever existed, aide me know!!”

The orb sputtered and flew into Athena’s hand, the green light filled her whole body. Corypheus dropped to his knees, spent.

“Kadan!” Bull cried, but Dorian held him back.

“You want into the Fade?!” She screamed, and then a thousand tiny rifts began to open around Corypheus and he slowly disappeared, swallowed by countless rifts she then snapped shut. Athena held the orb overhead and shot a beam of light up into the sky, sealing the breach. The orb fell from her hand, lifeless. Blood began to stream from Athena's nose.

Dorian released his hold and Bull caught her before she hit the ground.

“Totally did it,” she smiled weakly. “Are we falling?”

He was about to say no when he realized that they had been fighting in mid air, rocks crashed all around them as they all began to fall.

“Hold on!” Dorian screamed as he cast a barrier and they made contact with the earth.   
================================

She woke covered in dust and aching everywhere. She could not see Bull, Varric, or Dorian. She heard Solas’ soft footsteps behind her.

“The orb,” he cried, “it's broken.”

“I'm, fine, thanks for asking.” Athena used someone's sword to support her weight as she stood. “We did it, Solas, we healed the sky.”  
Solas turned. “Whatever happens, I want you to know you have my respect,” he said sincerely.

“Solas?” Athena tried to follow him but her legs gave way.

“The Inquisitor, is she alive?!” Cassandra’s frantic cry cut through the air.

“Kadan!” Bull yelled out. She heard the sound of rocks being overturned.

“Here, I'm here!” She called out.

Bull was soon at her side and slung her arm over his shoulder to help her walk. “Look at you being all not dead,” he said.

“Well, well. It seems we are victorious.” Morrigan noted dryly.

“And we're all alive?” Dorian mused.

“I'm too clever to die,” Athena grinned. “And you're too pretty.”

“I am pretty,” Dorian cooed.

“Alright, Boss,” Bull said softly, “let's get you patched up and then we can go home.”

“Home.” Athena said with a smile, “I'd like that.” 

===============================

They sent a raven and scouts ahead with the good news. But with the immediate crisis solved, Athena took her time traveling back to Skyhold. Dorian had, to everyone's surprise due to the last minute departure, packed extra wine skins which he broke out almost immediately. Dinner was hard cheese and bread with smoked ram meat. Sera and Blackwall sang bawdy tavern songs and Varric told stories late into the night. Cassandra listened enraptured as Varric recounted the time Fenris finally declared his love for Hawke. She leaned against Blackwall, cooing “it is so romantic” her Nevarran accent, made heavier by Dorian’s wine. Vivienne was busy designing outfits for the celebration tour across Orlais. Cole was giddy off of the happiness. 

Athena leaned against Bull’s chest, a blanket over her shoulders, his arm casually wrapped around her waist. She held a mug of warm wine in her hand and sipped it slowly. Bull planted a kiss on her forehead. “Thoughts, Kadan?”

She shook her head. “Just enjoying everyone's company before they leave.”

Bull’s arm tensed against her, “leave?”

“Of course, Varric will go back to Kirkwall, it's his home. Viv will go off and either restart the Circle herself or try to maximize her political power,” Athena ticked off her fingers, “Dorian will eventually go back to Tevinter, Cullen or no, Solas already left…” Her voice trailed off. “Sera might stay, and Blackwall might choose to join the Wardens if he'd like, but he will stay as long as Josie's around. Cassandra…don't know, might be Divine…” She hiccuped slightly, “and, you've got the Chargers…”

“You are being very practical about this,” Bull observed. Athena shrugged.

“I'm not happy about it. This is the closest I'll ever come to family again unless I have my own. But I understand, this is just a part of everyone's life and then they move on, I just don't have that luxury…” She took a long sip of her wine. Bull pulled her into his lap. He didn't say anything, because she was right about most of their companions, but not him. Could he just walk off and go back to his life as a mercenary now that he had something—someone—that felt like home? He kissed her head and she drifted off to sleep in his arms.

They arrived to cheering crowds at Skyhold. Backs were slapped and hands were shaken, every passing sin ever committed seemed forgotten. Music poured in from the tavern. Large tables covered in food filled the courtyard and main hall. The Chargers had taken it upon themselves to open several barrels of wine from the cellar and were happily filling goblets. 

Athena allowed herself to enjoy the evening. Spending time with her friends while they were close. Varric would go back to Kirkwall eventually, he confided. While Cole, Sera, and Blackwall would stay. Vivienne was already jockeying for clout amongst the nobility present, irritable that Leliana would be made Divine. Cassandra would rebuild the Seekers. Dorian, drunk and sentimental, kissed Athena and said that he would remain for a time.

“Skyhold does have something Tevinter lacks,” he slurred, “the presence of my best and only friend, and those don't come around that often.”

Athena hugged him and soon found Bull, sitting at the head of a Banquet table, a large mug of ale in one hand and a drumstick in the other.

“Kadan!” ale splashed over the table when he slammed his mug down. “That was the Tevinterest ‘Vint in the history of all ‘Vints. The original mold from which subsequent ‘Vints were cast. And I got to help kick the shit out of him. Good times, Boss. Good times.”

“There's no one I would have rather had at my side, Bull.”

“Same here! I got to kill another dragon and fight a ‘Vint. The poor bastards on the ground had demons. Listen, I've been thinking,” he pulled Athena onto his lap, “it's weird. I joined the Inquisition under orders from the Ben-Hassrath, and stayed because Corypheus was an asshole. Now that it's done, I've got no orders. For the first time in my life I can go wherever I want.”

“Or you could stay,” she played with the tooth that hung from his neck.

“Or I could stay.”

Athena kissed him. “There will always be a place for you here. Besides,” she grinned and whispered in his ear, “I heard about an Abyssal High Dragon some researcher wants us to trap out in the Western Approach.”

Bull kissed her lips.“You're the best, Kadan. Besides, the only place I'm going tonight is back for more drinks, Anaan!”


	44. Chapter 44

_Dear Bull,_

_You weren't wrong to opt out of this trip to the Deep Roads. Between the Darkspawn and, endless earthquakes it's a wonder anything survives down here. The good news is that I am taking your advice and letting the people with the big shields go first. Though I prefer this to those endless meetings with Josie and whatever stuffy noble is visiting._

_We have been here for two weeks, and will likely be here longer. There is so much history here! And Valta is a member of the Shaperate and has told me so much about Orzammar and its politics. No wonder Varric can't stand it, it's so incredibly rigid! At least under the Qun people may maximize their potential. But I digress…_

_Varric took Cole back to Kirkwall, hoping he will do some good. Cassandra got word of some seekers out in Nevarra and has traveled in search of them. So right now it's just me, Dorian, Blackwall, and Sera. We are doing well and they are all jealous that you and the Chargers are in the Frostback Basin with Harding._

_Tomorrow we travel another level down, and it will likely take us to uncharted territory. We won't have runners to send missives back and forth, so this will be the last letter you get for a little while. Cullen will send a search party of there is no word in a week. But hopefully it will be resolved and I'll join you in the south soon. Should I not return, Cullen has instructions so contact him._

_I love you,_

_A._


	45. Chapter 45

_Kadan,_

_You are lucky that your letter arrived an hour after a raven from Red saying you guys finally got out of the creepy Titan thing. “Cullen has instructions.” What is that even supposed to mean?! The whole point of kicking Corypheus’ ass was that we get to actually live our lives, right?_

_Ah, you know I can't stay mad at you. And you take advantage of that._

_The Avaar are strange but other than the Jaws of Hakkon assholes, we've had no problems. The professor might walk off a cliff while reading a book, so Harding has her hands full. But otherwise, we are fine. Should be a welcome break from the Deep Roads, and there is this beach that I want to camp out at, just the two of us._

_While Cassandra may be traveling to the ass end of no where, she still managed to get a letter to me saying something about an “anniversary” being very important. So here is the deal. You get down here in the next few weeks and I will give you whatever it is you want. Provided it involves us being naked for a very long time. Because I haven't seen you in almost three months and that is too damn long._

_So get here soon, I miss you and want to hear about this crazy underground ocean I heard others mention._

_Yours. Always._

_T.I.B._


	46. Chapter 46

_Bull,_

_While I understand the function of the Chargers in facilitating diplomatic relations, your absences grow tiresome. Varric left soon after the Jaws of Hakkon were subdued, Vivienne followed soon after. While I was so tired of her criticism I can say I'm sorry to see her go. Blackwall has begun to search for the men he used to lead, and I fear his sense of duty will take him from me as well. I admit, that grumpy old man has felt more and more a father to me over the years, and I will miss him._

_Sera says hello. She and I are helping Dorian pack for Tevinter. Dorian has promised that he and I will get spectacularly drunk tonight, but it's not the same without everyone else here. I think he and Cullen had a row, but I can never tell with those two. Oh, how I long for those summer evenings where we sat under the stars and did not think of politics…_

_I suppose Dorian's absence reminds me that you are gone, and I welcome distractions. Cullen has promised to teach me more shield combat, so that will keep me busy. And I am going to Redcliffe, again, to appease the unappeasable Arl Tegan. Leliana assures me that in his youth he was much more charismatic. Apparently he practically fell over himself trying to flatter Arl Cousland’s daughter, who was (and remains) a huge flirt. Mostly because it made Alistair jealous._

_And I digress into the romantic past of a King who won't meet with me and a Warden who is off who knows where. Perhaps we should be grateful that we will see each other soon._

_This is getting long, and Dorian says the wine is making me sentimental. But I miss you. I hope to see you soon._

_All my love,  
Athena_


	47. Chapter 47

_Kadan,_

_We just finished the last of the sweeps of Montfort. Tell Josephine that I'm tired of killing demons. The next job the Chargers get needs to be something fun, like a giant or dragon. I'll even wrestle a blighted bear if it means a break from Demons._

_Dorian made it to Val Chevin in one piece. We're going to get him as far north as Hunter Fell. Then he goes the rest of the way with the Valo-kas. It will be interesting to meet Shrokakar._

_Dorian said your nightmares came back. Mine too. It's better when I'm with you._

_T.I.B_

=====================================================================================

_Bull,_

_What happened in South Reach?! I just spent an entire afternoon with Josephine and Cullen because Rocky leveled a mountain? Cullen was trying to argue it was a strategic decision but now I've got Arl Tegan breathing down my neck again. Be careful, Ferelden is not as welcoming to Inquisition forces and their mercenary groups as they were just a year ago. How quickly they forget._

_Come back to Skyhold my love,_

_Athena_

_P.S. The next time you need to fight demons make Krem lead the Chargers and stay with me.  
P.P.S. Tell Rocky that he better be on good behavior for a while, or he's permanently cut off from ordering requisitions. _

=====================================================================================

_Kadan,_

_Cullen wants us to help some Inquisition troops deal with the demons near lake Calenhad. That should appease that Tegan guy. I’ll stay for a day or two to make sure it's not a total shit show and then it's back to Orlais. There has been tension out west and Red asked me to check it out. The last thing we need is another civil war or those crazy cultists reforming._

_Maybe you could meet me there?_

_Bull_

=====================================================================================

_The Iron Bull,_

_I have been informed by Ambassador Montilyet that the Inquisitor will be joining us in the fight after the initial push against the rebel forces._

_I have read enough of Josephine's letter's to know that Inquisitor Adaar is tired of playing politics in Skyhold and will likely arrive ready for battle. While I claim to know nothing of Orlesian politics, I will readily admit this is a very, very, dangerous situation with the Exalted Counsel in our near future._

_If we can finish this before she gets here, I would be eternally grateful._

_-Commander Cullen_


	48. Chapter 48

She was still wearing her travel clothes when she marched through, mud splattered and fuming. An impressive sight to behold, she towered over most of the soldiers by at least a half a foot as she stormed through the makeshift tent-city. While her presence was not confusing—they had won the battle and secured Perendale—marching on foot through the small city made up of soldier's personal tents was unexpected. 

She took a deep breath and lifted the flap of a tent with the Chantry symbol waving from a tentpole flag. It smelled of rotted wounds made worse by the summer heat. He was never hard to spot, twice the size of every man and predictably surrounded by tittering young healers. The first one to notice her was Krem, who opened his mouth to speak but Athena shook her head. He raised one eyebrow and nodded in affirmation, a smile catching the corner of his mouth. One of the healers slid his arm into a sling that tied around his neck. 

“You are so brave,” she cooed, her hands resting on Krem's shoulders, smoothing his shirt. Athena saw a flush creep up his neck. 

“He's reckless,” Bull hissed at something was pressed against his side. “I had him.” 

“What can I say chief? All that talk about getting behind the people with the shields must of sunk in. Besides, someone needs to protect your fat ass. I'm not going to be the one to tell the Inquisitor you're dead.” 

“Is it true, then?” One of the healers asked, looking at Bull. “You fought him in single combat?” 

“I heard he was almost as tall as a Qunari? Is that true?” 

“And the mallet he carried, was it as big as they say?” 

“I can vouch for the mallet,” Krem pointed at his shoulder. “Shattered my shield.” 

Single combat? Athena's temper flared and with it the mark. They all looked over at the entrance of the tent. Which was now filled with the eerie green light of the mark. Athena shook her hand and it quieted. 

“Your worship,” Krem saluted with his good arm. 

Bull’s large smile faded quickly when he saw the murderous expression on her face. 

“Single. Combat?” 

“Not quite single,” Krem joked, but his laugh died in his throat with a glare from Athena. The mark hummed. 

“What are the extent of his injuries?” She demanded. One of the healers read from her notebook. 

“Injuries to the sternum, fractures along the right upper rib cage which did cause some internal hemorrhaging. A small fracture to the right clavicle—" 

“Alright, alright,” Bull dismissed the healers with a wave of his hand. He looked at Athena. “It's not as bad as it sounds.” 

“Not as bad as it…Bull, Cullen told me they carried you out on a stretcher bleeding heavily because you had been hit in the chest with a mallet the size of your head. Not his head or mine, yours…if it wasn't for Krem…” Her voice broke, “I could have lost you…” 

“Hey,” he opened his arms wide and she fell against his good shoulder, tears falling freely as anger gave way to relief. “Single combat was the easiest way to prevent lots of good soldiers from dying. Besides, I had him.” 

Krem coughed. 

“Okay, maybe I had some help.” 

“Are you okay? Both of you?” Athena looked between Krem and Bull. 

The Qunari grinned at his lover. “I'm good, Kadan. Nothing a few drinks and some rest can't clear up. And this guy,” he punched Krem in the arm playfully. “He's a damned hero. Jumping between me and the crazy ass Chevalier.”

“I'll live. Besides, now we're even. Right, Chief?” 

Athena turned and pulled a startled Krem into an embrace. “Thank you.” 

“I…yes…of course…your worship.” Krem spluttered, blushing. 

“Oh come on!” Bull cried. “I cut the guy in half! I saved half of his forces from getting killed.” 

“You are still in trouble for almost dying. You'll need to make up for it. Starting with dinner tonight. Assuming you are up for it.” Athena kissed his lips. “I'm glad you are all right.” 

“I'm fine,” he slid off the examination table and winced, slightly. “But I do miss having Dorian around. He was useful in a fight.” 

“So that's what happened? You got spoiled by having a Mage do the work of a decent set of armor?” 

“Kadan, look at it this way. I got to kill the asshole who started a cult aimed at killing you, saved a bunch of lives, and won some land for the Inquisition. And I'm gonna live. I've had worse.” 

“Fine. I need to go meet with Josephine. Come find me in an hour or two.” 

“Can do.” 

========================

She was in hour three of a seemingly endless meeting with Josephine and various Orlesian nobles when a servant suddenly appeared. 

“Inquisitor, Lady Montilyet, I am sorry to disturb you both.” 

“Not at all," Josephine bowed slightly, "what is it?” 

The servant fidgeted slightly before muttering, “The Iron Bull—"

Panic gripped her as she grabbed him by the scruff of his tunic. “Is he alright, what happened?!” 

“I—he—“ 

“Inquisitor, please,” Josephine pried Athena’s hands off of the servant. 

“I believe they moved him to your tent, the healers—“ 

“Josie—“ 

“Of course, go. Our guests will understand.”


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little smut before we get to Trespasser related stuff...

Athena ran across the small city that had been erected along the battlefield. Smoke wafted through the air as hundreds of small campfires burned around her. She ran past the Inquisition soldiers stationed outside her tent and stood for a moment, confused. Two oil lamps burned softly; one by her cot and the other on her travel desk. But there was no one in her tent. 

“Bull?” She whispered, hoping he would appear. He was not in her room. She felt a chill run up her spine, but was unsure why. A breeze drifted through the tent and the lights flickered. She thought she saw shadows around the tent but couldn't be sure. The anchor began to hum, sending pain shooting up her arm. She stumbled toward her desk and began to search through her leather writing satchel. The whispers were starting. She finally found a folded piece of parchment covered in Dorian’s neat handwriting. 

“The smell of the books in the library at Skyhold, Blackwall in the barn, the smell of sawdust and pine in the air…” She muttered the words on the page and calmed herself. The whispers and shadows seemed to disappear. Her hand throbbed. She slathered a numbing ointment on the mark and wrapped it with a clean linen bandage. Over that she tied the red silk ribbon, now frayed and stained from years of use.

As her mind cleared she noticed a letter on her desk. She immediately recognized Bull’s handwriting. She broke the seal and unfolded the letter.

_Kadan_

_Sorry for the misdirection. It's not safe for you here._

_Go to Cullen and tell him Red was right. Then have him outfit a horse for you and ride toward Lake Celestine. Krem will meet you and make sure you get out of there safely._

_Bull_

__She read it over a few more times. Had he left? Where was he? And what was Leliana right about? She grabbed her satchel and shoved a few extra quills and ink pots into it. She changed into her travel clothes and made sure she had extra blades. She threw a rain cloak over her head, slung the satchel over her shoulder and left through the back of her tent to avoid the guards. She stuck to the shadows and was soon near the main tent Cullen had used as a command center. He was folding a large map of Orlais. He must have dismissed his men._ _

__“Cullen,” Athena walked into the light and pulled her hood down, revealing her face._ _

__“Maker’s breath! Inquisitor—“ he jumped._ _

__“Shh,” Athena came close and pressed a finger to his lips. _Well, that's new._ _ _

__“Inquisitor?” He whispered. Had she gone mad? Perhaps._ _

__She unfolded Bull’s letter and handed it to Cullen. He frowned._ _

__“What was Leliana right about?”_ _

__“Anxieties over what will happen at the Exalted Council. What would happen to it if you were out of the way. It has been why we have restricted your travel since you returned from the Frostback Basin. It seems Bull saw or heard something today.”_ _

__“So why not use the Chargers as my personal bodyguards? No one will get past Bull.”_ _

__“I agree, but they are going towards Nevarra in the next few days.”_ _

__“What? But they just got back to Orlais!”_ _

__Cullen nodded and scratched a note onto a scrap of parchment. He called a runner and handed the note. He turned to Athena._ _

__“Rylan will meet you in Montsimmard. Do not go with anyone else. He will escort you to Val Royeaux while I send a caravan to Skyhold.”_ _

__“I can take care of myself.”_ _

__“No one doubts that, Inquisitor, but your death could destabilize all of Orlais. Ferelden would see us disbanded and it may spark a war if King Alistair is seen as connected to any assassination attempt.”_ _

__She sighed. “This is one of those ‘bigger picture’ moments, isn't it?”_ _

__“Perhaps. Some see you as a figurehead, a chess piece,” he placed a hand on her shoulder. “Some of us are your friends and want to protect you. Bull is just trying to keep the woman he loves alive. And Dorian would kill me if anything happened to you.”_ _

__“It could be nothing.”_ _

__“True. But the Iron Bull will not risk it. Nor will I.”_ _

__

=========================

__He provided her with a horse and she was soon riding east with her hands covered in long ill-fitting gloves to hide the mark. She had been riding an hour when she heard a sharp whistle. She stopped her horse. A shadowed figure stepped out of the woods._ _

__“These roads are unsafe at night my lady.”_ _

__She recognized Krem's voice._ _

__“Can you ride?” She asked._ _

__“Not as fast as you, but it's not a long journey. Only and hour, maybe two.”_ _

__“Just us?”_ _

__Krem inclined his head. Skinner appeared with two horses._ _

__“Any chance to kill a few Shems,” she smiled. She helped Krem mount his horse, climbed up her own steed, and they took off._ _

__The left the main road after several miles and rode through a dark village. Finally Skinner slowed her horse to a walk, Athena and Krem followed suit._ _

__“Can I ask what happened?”_ _

__“You can,” Skinner replied. Several minutes followed._ _

__“Who knows with the Chief,” Krem grumbled. “He notices everything. Some grumpy Orlesian in a corner whispers and he’s all ears. The way this person sips his ale or that person slices his bread…”_ _

__“Or ties knots,” Athena added. “He likely uncovered a Venatori spy because he noticed how he tied the knots on his apron.”_ _

__They rode in silence for some time._ _

__“There, up ahead,” Krem pointed. They were at the edge of the village. The moon had risen and was high overhead. She could see a clearing ahead that must be the lake. They all dismounted their horses._ _

__“Wait, where are we camping?”_ _

__“We aren't,” Skinner shrugged. “You meet him here.”_ _

__“Skinner and I will see to the horses. See you soon, your worship.”_ _

__

__She watched them walk back towards the village. She took a few steps toward the lake when a large figure stepped out onto the road. Athena broke into a run and flung herself into Bull’s arms. He caught her and swung her around, ignoring his injuries. He finally lowered her to the ground and they kissed._ _

__“Kadan,” Bull pulled the hood of her cloak down. Her hair tumbled loose around her face and spilled down her back. He ran his fingers through it._ _

__“What happened?”_ _

__“Happened across an poorly organized assassination attempt. Thought getting you out was the easiest solution to my problem.”_ _

__“Your problem?”_ _

__“We gotta be on a ship across the Waking Sea the day after tomorrow. Someone does something stupid and you get shipped off to Skyhold and we get no time together. This way I keep you safe and I get you to myself. No Inquisition. No responsibilities.”_ _

__“So, was there a threat?”_ _

__“Yes, but no one would have gotten close. It's the last remnant of Gaspard’s loyalists mixed with some of those crazy cultists who took your Kith. Provoke war between Orlais and Ferelden, destabilize the Inquisition and use their army to march across the Dog Lord’s territory. The usual.”_ _

__She leaned against Bull’s chest. “I'm tired of being a pawn in political machinations.”_ _

__“I know, Kadan.”_ _

__She listened to his heartbeat for several minutes._ _

__“So where are we sleeping? If not at the Inn.”_ _

__“You'll meet someone there tomorrow.”_ _

__“Rylan, I'm meeting Rylan. The Templar from Starkhaven.”_ _

__“Good. I like him. Follow me, we’re sleeping by the lake.”_ _

__

__He led her through an overgrown path through the woods which gave way to a small beach. There was a small tent, lit from within by a few lanterns. The moon provided enough light to see, and danced on the gentle shores of Lake Celestine. The stars seemed to sparkle in the night sky. She heard nothing other than the hum of crickets and nightingales. They were completely alone._ _

__“Oh, Bull.”_ _

__“Thought you'd like it here. Was thinking when The Chargers get back from Perendale we could go out the that Oasis. Just the two of us. For more than a night.”_ _

__He ran a hand through her hair and pressed his forehead to hers._ _

__“Bull?”_ _

__“I miss you, Kadan. I hate being away from you for so long.”_ _

__She kissed him. “I love you so much it scares me.”_ _

__He held her face in his hands and studied it, as of memorizing its features. He looked sad._ _

__“You are so young.”_ _

__She made a face. “I'm going to be 27 in a few months. Cassandra was already the Right Hand of the Divine by this age. Now, tell me how much you love me.”_ _

__“I'd rather show you, Kadan.”_ _

__And he pulled her close and kissed her deeply, sending heat charging through her body. With deft fingers he untied her cloak and began to unfasten her tunic. She pulled the travel gloves off her hands and ran her fingertips over the bandage around his ribs. He was wearing the thin linen trousers which he usually wore around her room in Skyhold. She tugged at the drawstring._ _

__He kissed down her neck and slid one hand around her waist. He walked backwards toward the tent, pulling her after him.__

They kissed frantically, their hands and mouths touching and caressing one another. Bull pulled her tunic off and helped Athena step out of her trousers. Naked, they fell into the bedroll in a tangle of limbs.

__Bull rolled on top of her. He kissed down her stomach and parted her legs gently._ _

__“Kadan,” he purred, devouring her with his eyes. His hands roamed her body. He kissed down her inner thigh, driving Athena wild with anticipation. She shrieked as his lips pressed against her clit and his tongue entered her. She gripped his horns as he slid one finger inside her and flicked and swirled his tongue, driving her wild. Between his skill and their time apart, it took no time for her to climax, her whole body shuttering with pleasure._ _

__Bull sat up on his knees and smiled. Athena held out her hands and he pulled her up. She frowned slightly._ _

__“What?” Bull asked, kissing her neck._ _

__“This bandage complicates things.”_ _

__“Ignore it.” His fingers traveled down her belly and slid between her legs._ _

__“Magic healing or no, your ribs need time to heal fully. Lean back.”_ _

__“Yes, Boss.”_ _

__Athena sat in his lap and felt him stiffen against her leg. She stroked him gently and then lowered herself on him. A small cry escaped her as he filled her. His hands gripped her hips and he moaned into her neck as she rocked her hips forward. At first her movements were small, gentle rocking motions that built tension. She began to pick up speed, and Bull’s movements matched hers. She slowly felt warmth build as she moved against him. Bull could feel her tightening around him. He held her and laid her down on her back. He kept one hand on her lower back, suspending it in mid air. She wrapped her legs around him and he held her close, every thrust getting her closer to the point of no return. She cried out as she finally climaxed, heat and pleasure coursing through her whole body. Bull held her close as he came, too, pushed over the edge by her pleasure._ _

__They lay panting for several minutes. Bull finally rolled off of her and leaned up against the pile of pillows. She rolled into his chest. His fingers traced her body absentmindedly. She looked up at his face and he smiled down at her._ _

__Months of separation had caused her to forget how big he really was. He had lost some weight in his travels, and as such his face looked slightly more sunken, and his stomach was flatter, the ridges of his abdominal muscles stood out more than usual. She knew every scar on his body, but as she studied his face she wondered what he had looked like before he went to Seheron, when his face was whole. He must have been very handsome. He still was, but she wondered what it would be like if they had met one another when they were both whole._ _

__“Bull?”_ _

__“Yes?”_ _

__“If we had met in different circumstances…” She trailed off, unsure of how to finish her statement._ _

__“Like how?” He prodded._ _

__She sighed. “Like, not the Inquisition. Like, as people… Like my parents.”_ _

__They looked at each other for several moments. Athena lowered her head._ _

__“It's probably silly to ask, because—“_ _

__“No, it's not,” Bull replied. “I've thought about it. A part of me feels like this was going to inevitable. It could’ve been a battlefield on the coast of Highever or a tent city on Seheron or a crèche in Par Vollen. I would’ve seen you and I’d be done. And if that isn’t the case I don’t want to know that Iron Bull. I love you with every beat of my heart, Kadan. I don't remember what it was like to be alone, and I never want to be.”_ _

__“Never?” she looked up at him. He ran his fingers through her hair and stared off into space. She waited, her head resting on his chest._ _

__Bull looked down. “You gave me my life back, Kadan. And it's a good one, thanks to you.”_ _

__They sat in silence before she spoke up._ _

__“Varric says our kind of love story doesn't usually have a happy ending. He wasn't saying it to be mean, just to warn me. I guess I read too many of Cassandra's books. Where everyone lives happily ever after."_ _

__“Then don't think about the ending, Kadan, please. I can't…”_ _

__Bull closed his eye and held her close._ _

__“After Nevarra I want to hire you and the Chargers as my personal bodyguards. That way you need to stay close. At least until the Exalted Council. After that…well, who knows when that blighted council will happen.”_ _

__“Whatever you want, Kadan. But now, it's just you and me. And we need to make up for a lot of time apart.”_ _

__“Already?” She giggled as Bull began to kiss down her neck. Her hips began to move against him as she felt his hardness._ _

__“You underestimate the effect you have on me.”_ _


	50. Chapter 50

_My love,_

_I hear you are winning hearts over in Perrendale. The Chargers prove their worth time and again. Not that I am surprised._

_It seems we won't be able to take that vacation to the Oasis. The Exalted Council was finally called and we are off to Orlais. Halamshiral to be precise. Josephine is responsible for my wardrobe and I have left all packing up to her. I'm just bringing myself and some books. I am hoping that we may be able to sneak in some time together._

_Can you believe it's been nearly two years since we fought Corypheus? Hard to believe it was easier then, with someone to fight. All these politics leave me exhausted._

_We ride out tomorrow and I assume there will be some ceremony at the beginning because Orlais._

_But it means I get to see you, and that makes me happy._

_A._

=====================================================================================

_Kadan,_

_Seeing you will be the best birthday gift ever. If there is a bar at Halamshiral, that's where you'll find me._

_T.I.B_


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost there! Just a few chapters to include Trespasser related materials and an epilogue.

The pomp and circumstance of the Exalted Council left Athena more drained than she imagined. Varric had already arrived with as little fanfare as a Viscount’s presence would allow. He had given her lands and titles, which meant she could go home if she wanted to. He had also hired her Kith as part of the city guard. Shrokakar had written her to grumble about taking orders from an “orange haired battering ram” but they seem settled. Vivienne treated Athena to a spa day and complained about the infighting amongst the mages. 

 

Seeing Dorian was a welcome break, and they caught up walking through the baths. If he noticed her mark flare up, he said nothing. 

“How are you handling all of this?” He asked, “you look…” He studied her face for a moment but was quiet. 

“I'm okay, just really tired. Traveling doesn't usually wear me out so much.” 

“Have you seen Bull?” 

She shook her head. “Not for about two months, maybe longer. He should be in tomorrow.” 

“And the nightmares?” 

“Off and on. The voices too, but I can manage it for the most part.” 

“Hmm,” Dorian frowned. He studied her face quietly. 

“Do I look that terrible, Dorian?” 

“No, my love, you actually look wonderful, if a bit peaked. Nothing lunch won't fix. Come.” And he patted her hand and walked her over to the tavern, where Sera was waiting. Soon enough Blackwall, now going by Thom Rainier, lumbered in with hugs and stories of his time in the Free Marches. Even Varric managed to sneak away from his duties and have a drink with them. 

Comforted by the presence of her friends, Athena forgot about her exhaustion and the quiet ache from the anchor. Dorian soaked a bandage in a Royal Elfroot paste and wrapped her hand, which helped a bit. She sat on the window seat reading while Dorian dug through the chests that Josephine had sent over. It included, among other things, more dresses than she would need in a year—let alone a few weeks—decorative armor, as well as jewelry that she would never wear. 

“Dorian,” Athena closed her book and fixed him with a hard stare, “Bull will not care what I am wearing when I see him tomorrow.” 

“Provided it's pink,” Dorian's lip quirked into a smile. “But I'm looking for something.” 

“What?” 

“A disk, about the size of my palm,” Dorian began digging through the jewelry, unsatisfied. “It was blue, or more of a teal, really. The color of—" 

“Crystal Grace,” Athena finished his thought, realization clicking in to place. “The one I've traveled with for the past few years.” 

“Yes, that one.” 

Athena clasped her hands over her mouth. Her heart started to hammer in her chest. “Oh, Dorian…” 

He began to pace the room, twirling his mustache. “When was the last time you remember having it in your possession?” 

“Dorian, I haven't traveled with it for well over a year. I haven't needed to. The only time I see Bull was at Skyhold so it—oh—“ 

“Oh?” 

“It is in my desk, locked in a drawer. Josephine would not think to go into it.” 

Dorian relaxed. “Well, then. The rune is accounted for. So that crisis is averted.” 

Athena felt lightheaded. “Dorian,” she whispered. “Josephine oversaw packing my bags for the last few trips I've made. Including the one over in Verichel maybe eight, ten weeks ago.” 

Dorian opened a flask of sherry and poured himself a glass, knocked it back and refilled the glass. He sat next to Athena. “Tell me everything.” 

Her head felt foggy, she tried to clear her mind. “I've been in Skyhold for the most part, only the occasional trip and Bull’s been off with the Chargers for weeks at a time. But after he helped secure Verichel I went to the Ylenn Basin, in a effort to strengthen the petition to the Council of Heralds...Oh, Dorian, we hadn't been alone in months. We rode out by lake Celestine and slept under the stars.” 

“But when you got back to Skyhold,” Dorian pressed. Athena shook her head. 

“You said yourself it was only effective if I kept it close by within several days.” 

“And you did not go right back to Skyhold?” 

“No, I was already so far West that I went to visit Divine Victoria and discuss the Exalted Council. So I was in Val Royeaux for at least a week, if not longer. In fact, I was back at Skyhold for only a few days before coming here. I didn't feel up to traveling.” Athena put her head in her hands, “I was tired and ill, Josephine worried about having me travel…oh Dorian. I'm such an idiot.” 

“There there, we will figure something out.” Dorian patted her back. He looked out the open window and noticed a familiar silhouette outside the tavern. His suspicions were confirmed as he saw Sera leap into Bull’s arms and he threw her in the air. “But we may not have as much time as we thought.” And inclined his head. Athena followed his gaze and saw Bull and his Chargers walking into the tavern. 

“Dorian,” her almond shaped eyes filled with tears, “what am I going to tell him? What if he doesn't want…this. What if he thinks I did it on purpose?” She was verging on hysteria. 

“We don't have to tell him now.” 

“Dorian, if you noticed, how will he not?” 

“Well, to be fair it was Sera who picked up on it.” 

“Sera?” 

“Put two and two together, your weariness and apparently your breasts are bigger. That girl spends far too much time ogling them.” 

“Dorian, Bull is a trained Qunari spy.” 

“Well you don't have to tell him tonight. And you are forgetting one good thing to come out of this.” 

“What is that?” 

“I get to drink all the fancy wine by myself.” 

 

======================

 

She and Dorian finally settled on a dark pink Orlesian design with a plunging neckline that fit loose below her waist. She braided her hair so it fell over one shoulder. The afternoon light floated through the doors and Krem intercepted Athena on her way into the tavern. 

“Your worship,” 

“Krem! How nice to see you.” She felt wooden and uncomfortable. 

“I was hoping you might distract the chief while we sneak this dragon's skull into the tavern.” 

“I—of course.” 

“It's for his birthday,” Krem explained and ran off with the other Chargers. “Keep him talking, he LOVES talking.” 

Athena froze. It was his birthday? Today? Tomorrow? Why couldn't she think straight? She started walking and suddenly felt like her every movement was wrong. She slid next to him at the bar. 

“Kadan!” He pulled her in for a kiss and she felt her knees go weak. 

“We've got to stop meeting like this,” she smiled and leaned against his shoulder. 

“You okay?” 

“What? Yes! Just tired I suppose.” She heard Krem’s suggestion echo through her head and suddenly started blabbing. “Did you know that Ferelden has its own name for lords? The country is divided into Teyrnirs, governed by Teyrns. Inside those are cities and Arlings, ruled by Arls. And then there's the Bannorn. It’s a large area of countryside ruled by multiple Banns." 

“Good to know.” He took a long sip from his ale. 

“Do you think that news of the Exalted Council could affect the lyrium shipments from Orzamaar?" 

Bull looked around to see if Sera or Blackwall were around and he was being pranked. This was not the way she had imagined greeting him. "Umm...maybe." 

“You know,” she stammered. “I've been asking around about new equipment for...us. There is a merchant in Val Royaux who sells these silver rods with little cuffs that work like stocks.” 

Bull perked up, “I prefer rope work myself. Knots are easier to control, and more intimate. But if its stocks you want, you're worth it. Maybe the merchant will throw in some clamps, too. For you, anything.” 

“Really?” She asked before thinking. 

“Of course, are you sure you're alright?” 

“I—I'm sorry I can't do this,” Athena blurted out. “Bull, I—“ 

“Aww, sure you can! They must be almost halfway across the room by now, right?” He grinned. 

“Wait, you, knew?” 

“Ben-Hassrath, remember?” He nudged her, “good try, though, Kadan.” 

She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the Chargers and their gift. 

“Oh, you guys!” Bull called out, looking over at Athena, “you got me!” 

Krem puffed out his chest and the Chargers kept buying Bull drinks. Eventually they all wandered over to dinner while Athena met with Josephine. She joined them later on in the patio, in the midst of a toast. 

“Speech! Speech, way too much speech.” Sera grumbled, tipsy. 

“Sparkler,” Varric weaved slightly as he held his goblet aloft. “They don't want you, they may try to kill you, but know you'll be missed.” 

“Here! Here!” Yelled Blackwall and Sera. 

Athena's expression spoke for her. 

“And, you didn't know.” Varric noted, dryly. “Alright people let's move this party somewhere else.” 

It was then that Athena noticed Bull asleep under a bench. 

“Eh, leave him.” Varric ordered, leaving her alone with Dorian. 

“Dorian…” Her eyes filled with tears. 

“It's true. I couldn't stay away from Tevinter forever. I'm leaving as soon as the Exalted Council is done.” 

“You cannot leave me,” she sank into the white leather lounge chair. Dorian sat next to her and held her hand between his. 

“My father is dead. Assassinated, I believe. I received notice this morning: a perversely cheerful letter congratulating me on assuming his seat in the Magisterium. We only met a few times when I was home. He didn't say anything about keeping me as his heir. This ambassadorship was his doing, I am told. He wanted me away when the trouble began. I have to go back." 

“Dorian, I am so sorry. Why didn't you say something?” 

“I cannot override your crisis with my own. Besides I have a gift for you.” He placed a large crystal in her hand. “It's a sending crystal, amazing what a friendship with the Inquisition gives you access to. If I get in over my head, or you're overwhelmed with sorrow of the lack of my velvety voice—magic! What? You didn’t think I'd go away and you'd never hear from me again, did you? Uncle Dorian needs to make sure the little one is properly attired.” His eyes filled with tears and he cleared his throat. “Now, let's finish all the good wine before the others come back!” 

“I'll happily observe,” Athena smiled. “Besides, it looks like I'm off the hook tonight at least.” She looked down at Bull as he snores on the ground. 

“That's my girl!” Dorian took a sip of wine and insisted she toast him in front of everyone.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little smut near the end.

The next morning Bull arrived at her room bearing a tray of fruits and a pot of tea. He looked guilty, Athena thought, or hungover. Likely both. And under normal circumstances she would have been furious with him. But as it was she felt weak and nauseous. She probably passed for hung over as well. 

“Morning,” she smiled weakly. 

“Morning, Kadan.” 

He placed the tray next to her on the bed, she took a nibble of a roll but it only made her feel worse, so she put it down. She couldn't look him in the eye. 

“I know what's going on,” he said quietly. 

She started at him, wide eyed. “You know? How?” 

“I'm not an idiot, Athena.” 

“Oh, Bull, you aren't angry?” 

Now it was his turn to look confused. “Why would I be angry at you when it's my fault?” 

“Wait, Bull, what are you talking about, exactly?” 

They were interrupted by a sharp knock at the door. 

“Come in!” Athena called out. 

Simultaneously Bull shouted, “Not now, we're busy.” 

Dorian entered. “Ah, good to see you two lovebirds. I come bearing news. Inquisitor Adaar’s presence is requested at Duke Cyril de Montfort’s suite for breakfast. I thought this might stimulate your appetite,” he dropped a few slices of fresh ginger and some lemon in her teapot. He gave her a mug and she took a sip. 

“Of course, ginger settles the stomach.” She waited a few minutes and nibbled the roll. The nausea has passed. She ate a small amount of fruit while Dorian changed the bandage on her hand. He prodded the mark, gently. Athena winced. 

“It's getting worse.” Dorian frowned. 

“But I thought it was stabilized after you closed the last few rifts?” Bull looked between the two of them. Athena shrugged. 

“Started a few weeks ago, Dorian's bandage helps with the pain. But it's not bad, Bull, I promise.” 

“Don't lie to the man,” Dorian tutted and wrapped the bandage from her knuckle to her wrist. “The truth is, Bull, that we don't know what is happening, why it's happening, or how to stop the progression.” 

“Happy birthday,” Athena added. 

Bull stood up and walked over to the window. He was silent. 

“Yes, well, it could always be worse.” Dorian crossed his arms across his chest. 

“Worse?” Bull roared, “how could it possibly be worse!?” 

“Quite easily,” Dorian snapped back. “Don't forget Bull, I was with you at Adamant.” 

For a second Athena thought Bull would throw Dorian out the window. But, to her surprise Bull seemed to deflate as a realization of some kind sunk in. Bull looked over at Athena, he shook his head. 

“No.” 

“Bull?” Athena reached out to him. 

“Kadan,” he ran over and held her in a tight embrace. “I'm not going to lose you. Not like this.” 

“Bull! I'm fine, I'm right here!” She pushed him off. “Cassandra should arrive later today, but I sincerely think you need to go hit something. Go ask Rainier to spar.” 

Bull kissed her forehead and left her to get dressed. 

“He has gotten even more sentimental.” 

“Says you,” Athena fixed Dorian with a hard stare as she began to rifle through the closet. “And what was that stuff about Adamant?” 

“Didn't he tell you?” Dorian pulled a royal blue cloth out and began To tie it around her waist. She shook her head. 

“He went mad after you fell into the Fade. Completely unhinged.” He exhaled slowly. “To be honest, I don't think he would survive losing you.” 

“Dorian…” 

He held his hands up in defense. “Just an observation. But he is a man who has needed purpose. You give him purpose.” 

Athena remembered his behavior after he was declared Tal-Vashoth. 

“To lose you and his child?” Dorian pressed. 

“Then we don't tell him. At least, right now.” 

“My dear, he will pick up on it eventually.” 

Athena sat and brushed out her hair. Dorian was right, though. Her leather trousers were already tight around her waist and she could not button the top of her formal uniform. Even if she was not showing, Bull would notice that she suddenly started wearing dresses everyday. “Shit. Dorian?” 

“Yes?” 

“Have the tailors and smithy work on my armor. At this rate I won't be able to fit into it by dinner.” 

Dorian nodded and let himself out. 

============================

Breakfast was a dull affair filled with simpering Orlesian nobles. Vivienne joined and was slightly more gentle with Athena than usual, which led her to guess that Dorian had told the Grand Enchanter. At the end of breakfast Vivienne and Athena linked arms and walked along the balcony. The farmland stretched out into the horizon. It was beautiful in the summer sun. 

“You silly, silly, girl.” She waved at someone in the distance. 

“I know,” Athena ran her fingers along the marble bannister. 

“Don't fidget,” her voice was sharp but her eyes showed a kindness Athena had never seen. “You will need to be stronger and braver than you have ever been. And you must think beyond the council.” 

“I know.” 

“I shall have a alchemical formula delivered to your room at tea to help with any…symptoms, my dear.” 

“Thank you Vivienne.” 

Lunch was a meeting with Josephine and Charter to go over logistics for the first day of the Council. That was followed by a short meeting with Arl Tegan, an awkward conversation with Cassandra about marriage, and some much needed roughhousing with Cullen’s new mambari. 

By supper she was drained and went back to her room to take a bath. Bull was waiting for her. 

“You know,” she smiled at him, “I'm beginning to wonder if my security is too lax, you always sneaking into my room before me and all.” 

“Hey, Ben-Hassrath, remember? Give me some credit.” 

She spotted the bathtub by the fireplace. “Oh, that is exactly what I need.” 

“Good, so I haven't lost my touch.” Bull took a kettle out from the fire and poured steaming water into the tub. He had sprinkled jasmine and violet blossoms in the water, and their perfume filled the air. Athena undressed and slipped into the hot water. Bull sat behind her and untied her hair. He brushed it out and began to wash it gently. The firm pressure of his hands on her scalp and neck felt reassuring. 

“Shouldn't I be doing this for you?” She murmured, eyes shut in pleasure. “It is your birthday today. I feel terrible we haven't celebrated.” 

“I like giving you what you need. And with this Council, and your hand, what you need is to relax and let someone else take care of you.” 

“You won't find an argument here.” 

“Good.” His hands rubbed her neck and shoulders, easing out tensions and lulling her towards sleep. He poured warm water to rinse her hair and the gently dried it with a towel. He poured oil into his hands and massaged her horns. 

“I had an…interesting conversation with Cassandra today.” 

“Did you?” 

“Someone's been spreading rumors about us getting engaged. Well, Varric is spreading rumors. What are your thoughts?” 

Bull’s hands stopped for a moment. “You’re my Kadan. That's a choice I make everyday. I don't need to be bound to it. But,” he paused, “if you like the binding, then, when this is over, we'll make it official. However you like.” 

There was a splash of water as she spun around. “Bull?” 

He smiled. She returned his smile and kissed him. 

“Yes, after all this. I like that. But I don't need to swear to a Maker I don't believe in to know I want to be with you. To choose to be with you. But what if the Inquisition dissolves? What do we do?” 

Bull ran his hands down her neck and cupped one of her breasts, running his thumb across her nipple. They felt heavy and swollen and she wondered if he noticed the difference. “Kadan,” he murmured, kissing her neck. 

“Bull, I thought I was supposed to have a relaxing evening,” she feigned complaining and leaned into his touch as his teeth nibbled her collarbone and his hands squeezed her breasts gently. 

“Trust me, you will be very, very relaxed when I am finished with you tonight.” He promised. And lifted her out of the tub, carried her across the room and gently tossed her onto the bed. “I was thinking about the last time we were in a bed like this,” he said as he kissed down her stomach and his fingers slid between her legs. “It was after the shit show here with Celene. And you sorted it out in a few hours.” He kissed down her hips and thighs. “Don't see how the Council will be any different.” 

His kiss sent waves of electricity through her body. She gripped the sheets as his tongue entered her and he licked and nibbled her delicate pink folds. It had been weeks since she had been touched and was even more sensitive to his caresses. He worked slowly and methodically, feeling her become wetter and tighter around his fingers. He felt her hips jolt and held them in place with his large hands. She moaned and thrashed as he held her still and continued to pleasure her with his mouth. He could feel the tension mounting in her body and she began to moan his name. Softly at first, but then with growing intensity as he rubbed the soft button of nerves inside her with the pad of his finger. He did not relent with the pressure and he felt her muscles spasm around him. With a loud cry she came, shouting his name. 

“Oh, Bull!” Her cheeks were flushed. “What about—“ 

He cut her off with a deep kiss on her lips. “This is about what you need, and you needed that.” 

“I love you so much,” she felt her eyelids grow heavy as her body finally relaxed. 

Bull laid down next to her and rested her head against his shoulder. “The council will be a piece of cake.” He assured her. 

“Liar,” she muttered half asleep, “but thank you.”


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bull's POV for this chapter.

He was woken up by the soft crackle of the mark on her hand. The green light shown through her palm and some of her wrist. It was spreading. She began to toss and turn in her sleep. 

“No,” she moaned softly in her sleep, “no, Bull, please don't. Not now, not like this…don’t make me. Don’t leave us alone…Katoh! Katoh!” 

She began to thrash in the bed, the mark flared and she woke up with a cry of pain. She grabbed her hand and looked around, confused. Bull reached out to her and she jumped away from him, falling out of the bed with a large thump. 

“Stay away from me,” she grabbed the dagger she kept under her pillow and pointed at him. 

“Boss,” he sat up in bed but did not move towards her. “Come on, Athena, it's me.” 

She looked around the room, her eyes wild with terror. 

“I don't know this place.” 

“You're in Orlais,” his voice was soft. “At Halamshiral to be precise. You're here because in a few hours there is gonna be an Exalted Council.” He watched her face register his words, and her breathing slowed. She lowered the dagger. The mark grew quiet. “Why don't you come back to bed?” He tried to keep his voice even but he could hear his own pleading. 

And then the door to her bedroom burst open. 

“Inquisitor! Are you alright?” 

“We heard a struggle.” 

Startled, she pulled the sheets around her body, hiding her naked figure. The mark flared. She screamed and fell to the ground, clutching her hand. The dagger clattered to the floor. 

“Inquisitor!” The guards were frozen in place. Bull assumed control of the situation. 

“Go fetch Magister Pavus.” 

“The Tevinter Ambassador? But—“ 

“NOW!” 

They ran out of the room. Bull ran over and kicked the dagger out of Athena's reach before lifting her—sheets and all—and standing her to the window seat. He pulled the curtains to reveal the predawn sky. He pointed out the window. 

“See? There's the fountain, and those fancy lion statues. Over there is the tavern—“ 

“Where you got the dragon skull from the Chargers as a birthday gift.” Her voice sounded far away but he saw recognition in her face as her eyes lost the feral expression. She looked at him and hugged the sheets tighter around her body. 

“That's right,” he was aware of how far away she felt despite the fact that they were mere feet apart. 

“And I didn't know what to say because of the baby.” She looked back out the window, the mark had quieted but he could still see its glow through the sheets. 

“Baby?” Was she losing her mind? “What are you talking about?” 

“And Cullen got a mambari…and Varric is Viscount, and Dorian is leaving…” her voice grew stronger as she recalled recent events. “Oh, Bull, I am so sorry.” Her eyes filled with tears. He pulled her into his arms she leaned into him. 

“It's okay, Kadan.” 

Dorian burst into the room followed by Cullen, Cassandra, and Charter, who had taken over for Leliana as spymaster. 

“Let me see her,” Dorian demanded. Bull relinquished his hold and Dorian brought her over to the fireplace, which came to life with a wave of his hand. An elven servant came in carrying a bowl of hot water and bandages. 

The others joined Bull by the window. 

“Andraste preserve us,” Cassandra muttered, watching Dorian work. 

“I was told she pulled a knife at you,” Cullen asked. “But I couldn't get a coherent sentence between the two of them. Only that you told them to get Dorian, at which point I had to remind them to do that…” 

“They went to you first?” Cassandra was incredulous, “Why wouldn't they find Dorian?” 

Cullen rolled his eyes. “They are relatively new and thus never knew Dorian as one of the Inquisitor’s closest friends. And, frankly, they were unclear about following the orders of the naked Qunari mercenary in the Inquisitor's bed.” 

“Hey, I wasn't naked.” 

“How did Dorian get here so quickly, then?” Cassandra asked. 

“I—uh—happened to know where Magister Pavus was by luck.” Cullen began to blush. 

“It's not important,” Bull waved his hand. “But to answer your question, she was having a nightmare and woke up disoriented. I must have startled her, so she grabbed her dagger and fell out of bed.” 

“I can relate to the nightmares,” Cullen grimaced. 

“It reminded me of…” Bull trailed off, Dorian joined them. Athena sat staring into the fireplace. “How is she?” 

Dorian shook his head. “I'm unclear what set it off. But it seems to worsen with stress.” He looked at Bull. “She says you attacked her.” 

“I—what? We were asleep. She was having a dream.” 

“I know, the story she gave me made no sense. You were in some dungeon and another Qunari orders you to kill her, and you complied.” 

“That's preposterous,” Cassandra sneered. “It sounds like the same nonsense that demon said in the Fade.” 

“Demon?” Dorian asked. 

“Fade?” Bull and Cullen asked simultaneously. 

“At Adamant,” Cassandra explained. 

“The Nightmare?” Dorian asked. Cassandra nodded. 

“So she's reliving some shit a demon made her see?” Bull asked. 

“I don't envy her,” Cullen said, knowing all too well what it was like to be forced to remember your worst memories every time you closed your eyes. 

“The problem is,” Dorian pressed, “she's losing her grip on reality. Even after being forced to remember her worst experiences and with the demon taunting and promising Bull’s betrayal—“ 

“Wait, that was a thing?!” 

“You two never talked about it?” Dorian groaned. 

Bull shook his head. “She didn't want to go there, I wasn't gonna force the issue…” 

“My point is,” Dorian continued, “she understood that what happened at Adamant and with every demon she encountered at Fade rifts was not real. That they were demons whispering and threatening. But she's hung up on this thing with Bull.” 

“Are you telling me that the Inquisitor hears the demons she fights at every Fade rift?” Cullen looked apoplectic. “Do you realize the sheer volume of what she's encountered?” 

“Amatus,” Dorian hushed, “now is not the time.” And he gestured toward Athena, who seemed to have just realized they had all entered her chambers. “I fear she may lose her mind before the mark physically does profound damage.” 

Bull couldn't listen anymore. He walked over to the fireplace and stood by Athena. 

“The Iron Bull,” she smiled up at him. 

“Kadan,” he took her marked hand between his and kissed it. “Do you remember what I said to you, after Halamshiral? When we were in that fussy noble’s house?” 

Athena thought for a moment. “I wrote it down, in my journal. That's where I got the ribbon.” 

“Yes, the red one, you tie in your hair. But do you remember what I said to you?” He knelt in front of her, ignoring the protests from his aching joints. 

“You said, Katoh, would mean stop, no matter what…and,” she smiled, tears filling her large violet eyes, “you promised you'd never hurt me.” 

“Not without your permission,” he smiled at her. He held her face in his hands. She was so young to have such pressures thrust upon her. “I would never, ever, do anything to hurt you in any way. I love you, Kadan. And you must remember that with every beat of your heart you take mine.” He lifted the dragon’s tooth that they each carried and pressed them together. “No matter how far apart we may be, know that you are always with me. In my mind, in my heart.” 

“Oh, Bull, I'm sorry,” she threw her arms around his neck. 

“It's not your fault, Kadan. Just try to hold onto us. Whatever else happens, you and I walk out of this together.” 

“And after that?” 

“Whatever you want. I promise.” 

 

=====================================================================

He sat in the tavern that morning with Rainier and Sera. They did not exchange many words, but the sidelong glances the two shared gave Bull the sense that they knew what happened that morning. He was seriously considering having a drink when an Inquisition agent came into the room. 

“Pardon me, but your presence is requested at once.” 

“Is it the Inquisitor?” He asked, his heart hammering. 

“No, ser, she is still in the Exalted Council, but your expertise is required immediately.” 

Bull looked over to Sera and Rainier who shrugged. “Alright, see you in a few.” 

“See you.” Sera replied. Rainier waved him off. 

===================

Bull followed the scout across the courtyard to a quiet and secluded area near some empty shops. Everyone would be at the Council. He stopped in the door frame. There, crumpled on the ground, was a dead Qunari. Bull saw Charter studying the armor. 

“Ben-Hassrath foot soldier. One of the Antaam. In full armor.” He said. 

“Figured as much,” Charter replied. “Question is, why is there a dead Ben-Hasrath agent in the winter palace?” 

“Your people didn't take care of him?” 

Charter shook her head. “Found him like this.” 

Bull looked around. “There are supplies in these stores. If I had been stabbed I would have wanted to get supplies to heal myself and hide. Looks like he didn't make it.” 

“Do you think there are others?” 

Bull shook his head. “No, likely this was a recon mission of some kind. And something went sideways soon into it.” 

“The Divine believes the Inquisitor should look into this.” 

“Red still spymastering from afar?” 

Charter smiled. 

“Yes, whatever is going on her isn't good news for anyone. But I don't know anything.” He pointed at himself, “Tal-Vashoth, remember? Don't know anything.” He grunted. “I hate not knowing things.” 

“It is likely the Inquisitor will require aide.” 

“I'll get everyone ready.” 

Charter nodded and took off to pull Athena out of the Council. Bull went back to the Tavern. He sent Krem to find Cassandra. Sera had already gotten Dorian and Varric. 

“Buckles in trouble, yeah?” Sera asked, tightening the string in her bow. 

“To be honest, Sera, I think we are all in big trouble. And not the fun kind.” 

“Well, shit.” Varric sighed.


	54. Chapter 54

Athena was in a terrible mood. First she woke up and almost stabbed the father of her unborn child, whom she had still not told about the pregnancy. Then she was dragged into the Exalted Council where Arl Tegan proceeded to yell at her for doing his nephew’s job and Cyril Guislain prattled on about how young and incompetent they were. Even Josephine was frustrated, as she angrily scribbled notes on parchment which Athena simply ignored. She was tired of playing polite and speaking in circles. So Charter’s interruption was welcomed. 

She met Leliana near the courtyard and found the body of a Tal-Vashoth agent. Following the blood trails led to an active Eluvian, of all things. She felt more self assured once she had her armor back on. The formal attire Josephine had her wear during the council was heavy and already ill fitting. Dorian, to his credit, had gotten the blacksmith to work on the breastplate and had her pants let out a bit at the hip. She had never been comfortable wearing metal armor like Blackwall and Cassandra and it had taken years to convince Bull to fight in little more than pants. She fell somewhere in between. She opted for armor that facilitated speed and agility over brute strength and aggression. Mostly dragon skin. She would never be nimble enough to evade or sneak like Cole or Sera, but she was fast and found that it was easier for her to dodge a hit than weigh herself down so she could absorb it. She would leave that to the warriors who carried shields. She would stick to her leather armor and daggers. 

She met her companions near the Eluvian. 

“So, we're getting the band back together,” Varric noted, cheerfully. “That's exciting.” 

“Don't tell me the Viscount of Kirkwall missed skulking about and shooting people,” Dorian teased. 

“You've never been to the Viscount’s keep, have you Sparkler? Spend two hours there and you'll be glad to be shot at.” 

“We are not a BAND of any sort,” Cassandra scowled. 

“Just because you can't carry a tune, Seeker doesn't mean you aren't front and center in our band of misfits,” Varric pointed out. 

“Here, here,” Athena smiled. “Admit it, Varric, your going to miss getting into trouble like this.” 

“Pay me a visit to Kirkwall, Inquisitor, I can almost promise you trouble when you arrive.” 

“Aww, I missed you guys.” Athena teased. Cassandra snorted in frustration, but smiled slightly as Athena nudged her shoulder. Athena threaded the same red ribbon through her hair as she plaited it out of her face. “So, who wants to see where this goes?” 

“No one,” Bull deadpanned, “but we're gonna go anyway. Lead on, Kadan.” 

“Oh, are we doing pet names, again?” 

“I'm not the one calling Cullen 'Amatus.'" Bull retorted. Varric snorted and Cassandra groaned. 

“Yes, well,” Dorian blushed. 

“Inquisitor, darling, let's be off,” Vivienne's cool voice brought them back to the present moment. 

“Okay, here we go,” Athena took a few steps and disappeared into the mirror. 

=========================

She stumbled out of the mirror and found herself in the Fade, again. “Oh, what. The. Fuck.” She cursed and kicked a rock. Her hand was throbbing. Her curse was soon joined by Sera and Bull’s. 

“Shit, shit, shit! The Fade, not good not good. I'd rather be anywhere but here!” Sera cried in a panic. Athena squeezed her hand. 

“There is nothing here you have not killed ten of and then looted their small clothes to wear on your head disrespectfully,” Cassandra offered as comfort. 

“Pft!” Sera giggled, “that…that helps a lot, actually.” 

“Bull,” Varric loaded a bolt into his crossbow, “what are the Qunari playing at?” 

“They hate magic,” Dorian added. 

“It's no surprise that they are terrified when they have a bunch of untrained Sarebas running around.” Vivienne sniffed. 

“Are you comfortable fighting Qunari, knowing they are hostile to the Inquisition?” Cassandra asked. 

“I'm not Qunari anymore,” Bull replied. “Whatever they're doing I'm ready to stop.” 

“Fuck it,” Athena scowled. “I want to know what is going on. I'm following these mirrors.” 

Her mark started acting up after they entered the Elven Temple. She hissed at the pain and discharged the energy the mark was building up. Vivienne noticed. 

“I’m fine.” Athena assured her. 

“Don't be stoic at the expense of your health. Solas was the only one who pretended to understand the anchor but we all know it's dangerous.” Vivienne counseled. Athena sighed. 

“When it flares I feel the pain from my palm to my jawbone.” 

Dorian squeezed her shoulder. 

“When we return to the palace I will find something to ease that.” Vivienne replied. 

“We should take a look at it. Maybe between the two of us Vivienne and I could find some way to slow it down.” Dorian suggested. Athena nodded. 

=====================

And they cut through from one Eluvian to another, finding themselves in unfamiliar lands patrolled by ancient elven spirits. She studied the murals on the walls. They told the story of Fen Ha’rel offering respite and freeing Elven slaves. 

“It seems the vallaslin were slave markings to show which god you belonged to,” Athena murmured. 

“Another thing to never tell Daisy,” Varric held the torch closer to get a better look at some of the images. 

“Varric,” Athena ran her hands over some of the mural, “do these images look familiar to you?” 

“No, can't say they do.” 

“I feel like I've seen them before. I mean, not these exactly, but similar.” 

They continued, finding bodies of Ben-Hassrath agents, their faces contorted in terror. Bull was frustrated to be out of the loop, but all Athena felt was relief that he was Tal-Vashoth. She thought of what the Nightmare demon told her, years before. “He will choose his people over you, and break you in both spirit and body.” She shook her head to clear her thoughts. The whispering of past demons snaked their way into her mind with increasing frequency. 

“It doesn't make sense.” 

“What doesn't?” 

“The Qunari, messing with magic for one. But messing with ancient Elven magic? It is just bizarre.” 

“True,” Varric took a few more steps and cried out in surprise. 

“What is it?” Athena ran over. Varric looked incredulous and pointed at the drawing on the wall. It depicted elves, riding to battle, wearing, “that armor they are wearing. It's red.” 

Varric began to grumble. 

“Varric, I don’t think its red lyrium.” 

“You went there too, huh?” 

“What I want is answers.” Athena finally got the veil fire to trigger the trapdoor. “And if I happen to kill a few Qunari along the way, I won't be heartbroken.” 

==========================

The maze of mirrors was hard to navigate, but they managed to find their way back to Halamshiral. She felt drained and had a headache, which was only intensified by dealing with Josephine and the Council. Cullen was unhappy about the Eluvian and ordered guards to cover the mirror and to shadow Athena, arguing she may be the target of the Qunari agents. She opted to eat her supper in the Tavern with her friends, enjoying the momentary distraction their familiarity provided. 

“I'm saying, something's not right.” Sera was pouting and scribbling in her journal. 

“What's not right?” Athena asked. 

“The elven servants have no complaints. Working for these Orlesian noble's and not one is asking for a Jenny?” 

“That's unusual?” Athena asked. Sera nodded emphatically. 

“Have you considered the possibility that the servants might actually be happy?” Dorian challenged, pouring more wine into his goblet. 

Sera fixed him with a hard stare. “Servants ain't never happy, we may be fighting Qunari, but something else is going on.” 

“I've gotten reports of servants missing,” Athena mused, “but nothing seems out of the ordinary. I just keep feeling like I'm missing something.” 

“You probably need to rest,” Dorian said. She nodded. 

“I do. But I am going to go back to the Crossroads and see what the Qunari are up to.” 

“Ugh, more elfy things,” Sera complained.


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Bull's POV for this chapter.

He was hurt she left him behind, but he understood. Once they realized the mirror led to underground mines Athena sent most of her friends back to the Winter Palace, opting for a smaller team. Dorian, for once, was not pouting he wouldn't be going. 

“I hate going underground, it took weeks to get the Deep roads off of my clothes the last time we went.” 

Dorian knew he may also steal a few uninterrupted moments with Cullen, and Bull didn't begrudge him that. Time was precious and fleeting, now more than ever. Krem had joked about the Chargers dissolving and simply becoming part of the Inquisition. Would that be so bad? 

He stood on the other side of the bar and poured drinks. He took a cloth and began to polish the bar. There was comfort in the simplicity of it. Maybe he could retire, run a tavern. He poured drinks for fancy Orlesians in masks and stoic Fereldeners who wanted nothing more than to escape the finery and posturing. There was tension mounting between the Inquisition Honor Guard and the Orlesian Soldiers. Bull kept a dagger behind the bar. 

The dusk faded to night and the gossip was dull. Dorian returned and sat by the bar, nursing a sherry. There were bets being made about whether or not the Inquisitor wanted war with Ferelden. Veiled threats about what may happen to her in the future. She had survived numerous assassination attempts. The Antivan Crows were at least smart enough to refuse the contract. Bull had stopped three assassins himself. Though Athena only knew of one. Would it end if she disbanded the Inquisition? He had known nothing but war. He was good at fighting and killing things, but maybe it was time to put his sword down. 

It was nearing midnight when they came back, wet but otherwise looking no worse for the wear. Bull opened a bottle of wine and handed out glasses. He poured Varric an ale. 

"I hate caves,” Varric grumbled. 

“Yes, yes,” Cassandra retorted. “You hate the deep roads, and caves, and the outdoors.” 

“And anything that isn't hearing himself talk,” Sera added. 

“Orlesian cafes, taverns that are too tidy, slopes of greater than 10 degrees,” Dorian counted on his fingers. 

“Also quiet, most kinds of smells, rain,” Rainier added taking a sip of his drink. “Just water, in general.” 

“And Orleiasians, Fereldens, Nevarrans, mages, Templars, the entire Merchant’s guild,” Vivienne thought for a moment, “ah, nugs.” 

Bull handed Varric his drink. 

“Look, I have to complain or you'll forget I'm here and trip over me. I'm providing a service.” He saluted Bull with his glass. “You look like you belong there, Tiny.” 

“What can I say? I'm a people person.” 

They stood in the empty tavern together, savoring a few quiet moments of camaraderie. They all missed the long nights by the campfires and evenings in the Herald's Rest. 

“Bull,” Athena leaned into him, “I'm tired." 

He put his arm around her. “You've hardly eaten today, Kadan. You feeling okay?” 

Athena shook her head. “I'm just tired.” 

“I'll take you to your room.” 

========================

Back in her quarters Athena flopped onto the bed, instantly asleep. Bull took off her boots and covered her with a thin blanket. He noticed the bandage around the mark had unraveled. A green light emanated from her hand, and it was spreading. He hesitated for a moment but then chose to untie the red satin ribbon around her wrist. He sat by the fire and studied it. He was flooded with memories: her face when he first came to her room in Skyhold, when he kissed her at Haven, dancing at the Winter Palace, when she fell at Adamant, standing in the moonlight by lake Celestine...He had told her he would be bound to her, even though he already was. Tied to her. He ran his thumb over the worn out ribbon and smiled. He leaned back in the chair and fell asleep. 

==================================

They were awoken in the middle of the night by guards. The guards apologized for disturbing her but insisted there was a situation that required her attention. Something about a conflict between Inquisition and Orlesian troops. 

Bull stayed behind. He called a servant and ordered food and tea to be brought to the room, and for water to be drawn for a bath. His request was met with no hint of protest or frustration. Not even an eye roll. Sera was right, the servants were off. The tray of food arrived a few minutes before Athena returned, clearly frustrated. 

“Bath?” Bull suggested. 

“I shouldn't,” she replied, but her eyes lingered on the water. 

“I'll join you,” Bull pulled her close and kissed her forehead. 

“Will we both fit?” 

“Only one way to find out.” 

She giggled and he removed his pants and small clothes, stepping into the hot water. ."Ahh, Kadan, come onin, the water is fine.” Athena disrobed and stepped in. Water splashed out of the tub and into the marble floor. She leaned against his chest. 

“Can we just stay here?” Her voice was small. 

“It might get cold.” 

“You know what I mean. Bull...look, there is something I need to tell you—“ 

They were interrupted by Cullen. Who blushed. 

“Inquisitor! I—ah, apologize…” He stammered. Dorian knocked into him as he waltzed into the room. 

“Ah, good. You're both awake.” 

“And naked, Dorian.” Athena glared at him. Cullen was suddenly very interested in one of the Lion statues by the door. 

“That's not my problem.” 

Dorian held a robe up and Athena stood up and slipped it on. 

“It's safe, Commander,” Athena called out and began to pour herself some tea. Cullen blushed deeper and cleared his throat. 

“We have taken the servant in for questioning, Inquisitor. But it appears that Qunari were trying to sneak Gaatlok into the palace.” 

Bull sank further down into the tub and grumbled. 

“Oh. Well. Fuck.” The mark began to flair and Athena shook her hand irritably. It crackled and glowed bright green. She sighed. “I suppose we go back to the Crossroads. You coming, Bull?” 

“We will allow you time to change.” Cullen hurried out of the room. 

“I'll get the others,” Dorian offered, and left them. 

They room was quiet for a few minutes, Athena looked out the window and sipped her tea. 

“You wanted to tell me something, Kadan.” 

“I did. I do. But not now.” She smiled, weakly. “When we get back, I promise.”


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little longer to get through the fighting etc., the next couple of chapters will deal with the outcome of these battles.

Despite her exhaustion she could not help but be enraptured by the library in the Crossroads. While she was no mage, Athena had read almost every book about the arcane, the Fade, and spirits in the Skyhold library. 

“To think that the ancient Elves lived in the fade, that there was a time before the veil had been formed.” She mused aloud. 

“And the librarians seem to be spirits of wisdom.” Dorian was looking through a section of ancient Tevinter texts. 

“Huh,” Athena stopped and looked at Dorian. “Spirit of wisdom…” 

“You think we could take some of these books back with us?” Varric asked. “I've never read an Elven novel. I wonder what kind of stories they told.” 

“Unfortunately I don't think these are physical objects. More ideas. We just see them as books.” Dorian replied, thumbing through a large tome. 

“How about we leave all the creepy Fade shit where we found it.” Bull grumbled. 

“Hey,” Varric called out. “I haven't even written this book yet, how is it here!?” 

“Spirits like your stories,” Cole said. 

“You mean I have FANS in the Fade?” 

“Varric, Cole,” Athena called them over. “You remember that spirit friend thing of Solas’ that we helped unbind in the Exalted Plains?” 

They nodded. 

“That spirit spoke Elven.” 

“Your point?” 

“It wasn't Dalish Elven, I didn't recognize the dialect.” 

“Since when do you speak Elven, Violet?” 

“I don't, but the cadence of Dalish was different from that of Abelas and those ancient elves at Mythal’s temple.” 

“Athena, what are you on about?” Dorian asked. 

“Nothing, it's just what if that friend of Solas’ was one of these Spirits of wisdom?” 

“And?” 

“What if he knew about this? About Fen'Harel creating the Fade, about the ancient Elves being nothing more than magisters? Why wouldn't he share that knowledge? He told me about the orb, shared what he knew of the Fade—“ 

“That you know of,” Bull interrupted. “He shared as much as was helpful, to seem trustworthy.” 

“The unwashed apostate Fade walker?” Vivienne sniffed. “He was too busy painting to actually do any spying. And who would he report to?” 

“Painting,” Athena murmured. “That's why they look familiar!” 

“What looks familiar?” 

“Those murals. They look like Solas’ paintings in Skyhold.” 

“Huh,” Varric scratched his chin. “I can see it, I think.” 

“What are you thinking, Kadan?” 

Athena shook her hand again and discharged some energy from the mark. 

“It seems to be reacting to magic.” Dorian observed. 

“Doesn't hurt when you cast spells,” she replied. She flexed and wiggled her fingers. “I don't know what I'm thinking, Bull. But I met Mythal. The ancient elves were real. Would it be so strange for Fen’Harel to exist?” 

“And?” Bull prompted. 

“Sera, you said the servants were acting strange, right?” 

“That's right.” 

“All the servants or just the Elven servants?” Her hand was sparking again. “Ah, fuck!” 

“Elven…Buckles, your hand…” 

“So maybe that's why? Maybe there is something else going on. It may be that there are more than Qunari agents at Halamshiral. What do you think, Bull?” 

“Dunno,” Bull responded, but he began to recall the ongoing chess match he had played with Solas. He had taken it as a gesture of friendship on Solas’ part, for Bull had been so concerned with losing his mind after being declared Tal-Vashoth. But, as with most things, hindsight gave him a different perspective. Solas had sacrificed his queen and won that game with a pawn. “It's an interesting theory.” 

“It doesn't explain why the Viddasala and her agents believe the Inquisition works for Fen’Harel.” Cassandra noted. 

“There must be some kind of connection. Come on, I think we should ask the Viddasala herself. I can't think with my mark building up energy like this.” 

=====================

But the Viddasala had no answers, just threats and accusations before running off to some place called the Davaraad. 

Athena was bent over the body of a Sarebas, wiping her blade. The light from the mark had spread past her wrist, the glow carrying through her forearm. “You know,” she leaned her bodyweight against her weapon and straightened herself, “I am really going to enjoy killing her.” 

“You're mark, does it hurt? You'll tell us if its getting worse, right?” Dorian attempted to help bear some of her weight but she waved him off. 

“As long as I don't allow the energy to build up I can manage.” She rubbed her hand against her hip as if she could wipe off the mark and its magic like grease from a roast. 

“Anyone ever tell you that you're a bad liar, Violet?” Varric asked. 

“Frequently,” Athena replied. “Now I get to find out how big of a shit show it is outside of that stupid council.” 

She accepted help in turns from Bull and Rainier as they navigated the Crossroads back to Halamshiral. Not far from the final Eluvian she tripped. Instinctively, her hands shot out to brace her fall. The impact triggered a small explosion from the mark, knocking Athena into a nearby wall. She grabbed her stomach and yelped in pain. 

Bull was shoved aside by Dorian and Vivienne. 

“Hey, outta my way!” He demanded. Dorian cast a barrier to push him back. Bull’s anger escalated. 

“You can't take hits like that,” Dorian’s voice was soft and anxious. 

“If you feel any cramping you must inform me immediately,” Vivienne muttered. 

“I don't know, I felt something tear.” Athena’s voice was panicked. 

“What are you…” Bull’s voice trailed off. 

“Oh, shit,” Varric sat down on a rock and massaged his temples. 

“I don't understand,” Cassandra gestured toward Athena, “the mark has been unstable—“ 

“The mark isn't what they're worried about, is it, Kadan?” Bull kept his voice even but there was an intensity behind it that betrayed his anxiety. Athena nodded and bit her lip. 

“I'm sorry, I wanted to tell you,” tears welled in her eyes. 

Sera leaned against Rainier, who threw his arm around her in a protective gesture. 

“What do you mean?” Cassandra demanded. 

“Shit, Seeker, Violet’s pregnant,” Varric shouted. “Right?” 

Dorian nodded. 

“Maferaph’s balls.” 

“Oh, Maker preserve us.” Cassandra sat down next to Varric. 

“Kadan,” Bull’s voice was soft. His great axe fell to the ground with a clatter as he walked over to her. Dorian and Vivienne stepped out of his way. Athena held out her hands so Bull could help her stand. But the Qunari mercenary dropped to his knees in front of her, his large hands pressed gently against her abdomen, shock apparent on his face. 

“Really?” 

Athena put her hands over his. “Really.” 

“Hey there, little one. You're okay in there, right? You'll be okay. I’m your father…” Bull smiled at that last word and looked up at Athena. He kissed her. “When?” 

“That night on lake Celestine.” 

Bull chuckled. 

“That was a good night,” he kissed her again. 

Dorian cleared his throat. “Yes, well, I'm sure it was a wonderful evening, but I would really like it if we could have a healer examine her. The fighting and the instability of the mark—“ 

“It's not gonna make the kid weird, is it?” Bull kept his hand over her, as if it alone might prevent magic from seeping through. 

“Bull,” Dorian sighed, “it is unclear whether the child will survive this type of exposure to unstable magic.” 

“Might not survive…” His eye grew wide, “no, no, we're getting out of this, right kid?” He looked up at Athena. “Please.” 

“Varric, why did we stop?” Cole’s voice was soft. 

“Maker’s breath, boy,” Rainier hissed. 

“Look, kid, I'll explain it later.” 

“But he’s fine.” Cole insisted. 

“Look, it's complicated, it’s—" 

“Happy, harmony, heartbeat like a hummingbird, he doesn't notice the mark. But he didn't like hitting the wall.” 

“Wait,” Bull stammered. They all stared at Cole, mouths agape. “It's a…a he? And he's alright?” 

Cole nodded. 

Bull picked Athena up and swung her around, laughing. 

“It's a boy, Kadan.” 

Athena laughed as he tossed her in the air. The glow of her mark faded. 

“Cole, why didn't you say something sooner?” Dorian demanded. 

“She wanted to tell him. And you and Varric always tell me not to spill people's secrets. Besides,” Cole smiled, “it's not a hurt. He will help and heal where I couldn't. He makes everyone happy.” 

==============

They arrived back at Halamshiral in the late afternoon. Bull went and sat at a table in the tavern. The others joined, knowing full well they would be back in the Crossroads soon. 

“A boy.” Bull muttered. He could not keep the smile off his face. 

Rainier slapped his back. 

“You dog.” 

“You think you'll stay at Skyhold, yah? Even with shit going sideways here?” Sera asked. 

“Come to Kirkwall,” Varric urged. “I've already got a place for her in Hightown, and her old merc group works in the City Guard. It'll be good for her.” 

"In the meantime," Rainier held up his glass and they saluted Bull. 

Their conversation was interrupted by The Divine. Leliana’s normally cool exterior was replaced by fear and sadness. 

“The Iron Bull,” she spoke softly. 

“Red, did you hear the good news?” Bull’s smiled faded as he saw Leliana’s face. 

“Fasta vass,” Dorian cursed, “what happened?” 

“Her mark, it is getting worse by the minute. She cannot control it anymore. She is going to the Davaarad to try and stop the Viddasala.” 

“By herself!?” Bull stood up. “She'll get herself killed!” 

“Bull, she is dying.” Leliana’s voice cracked. She took a breath. “The only person who knew anything about the mark was Solas. It is likely that without his intervention she will not survive.” 

“Andraste watch over us all,” Cassandra muttered. 

“But…we were going to be a family.” Bull sat down and stared at the table, his eyes unfocused. 

“I am truly sorry, Bull. Cullen has stationed soldiers by the mirror in case…in case she does not come back and the Qunari invade.” 

They all sat in silence as the reality of her death sank in. 

“Fuck this.” Bull stood up. “She goes, I'm going with her.” 

“Vishante kafass, Bull, killing yourself is not the answer.” Dorian went to grab him. 

“No? I got nothing if I don't have her. My whole life is about to walk through some magical mirror and never come back. No. I'm going. You want to stay here and forget her, that's fine by me.” Bull stood up and walked into the courtyard, grabbing the enormous axe propped against the wall. 

The others watched for a moment. 

“Ah, Maker’s balls,” Rainier cursed and grabbed his sword and shield, following Bull. Varric and Sera followed him. 

Dorian, Cassandra, and Vivienne sat for a moment in the empty tavern. Cassandra stood. 

“It has been an honor working with you, most holy.” She bowed. Leliana embraced her briefly, and Cassandra walked away, her shield slung over her shoulder. Vivienne sauntered behind. 

“I would not imagine you would stay behind.” Leliana observed. Dorian poured himself a glass of wine. 

“I don't know if I can do it.” He said quietly. 

“Do what?” Leliana sat down and fixed Dorian with her gentle eyes. 

“Watch her die. Not like this. I've watched her fight everything from demons to dragons to Corypheus. To watch her be consumed by magic. To have it take both her mind and body. It just…” His voice trailed off and a tear rolled down his cheek. 

“Dorian!” Cole’s voice broke through the silence of the room. “Dorian where are you?" 

“Cole, I'm right here.” 

“Dorian, she needs you.” 

“She has Bull. He will take care of her. Cole, I…I can't…” He broke down, his chest shaking with large heaving sobs. 

“You cannot leave her to the Davaarad.” Cole pulled at Dorian's sleeve gently. “All her worst fears at once we can't. Dorian, Dorian, where is he? Dorian will make it better, make sense of the magic and misery. The Nightmare has told her this could happen and we cannot. No, no, Bull, please…Dorian…” Cole dropped to his knees in front of the Mage, “if she remembers the Nightmare we might lose her forever…” 

“Fasta vass,” Dorian wiped his eyes. 

“You are the only one, don't you want to help?” Cole’s voice was small and timid. 

“Yes…I, of course I want to help. Give me a minute.” Dorian sniffed and stood up. “Alright, Cole, let's go.” 

==========================================================================

The pain only amplified once she reached the Crossroads. White hot, it ran up the length of her arm and seemed to squeeze her chest, making the simple act of breathing near impossible. In her ears she heard them: the sultry voice of desire demons promising to bring her family back, the howl of despair reminding her of her meaninglessness, and, louder with every step, the fear that something worse than death lay in from of her. The Nightmare had wormed its way in and, by destroying it, she could not forget. She was not sure how she would even manage to set one foot in front of the other, let alone fight, but she would manage. She always had. It was best she finished it alone. She could not have the deaths of those she loved the most on her conscience. 

But then she heard the Eluvian behind her come to life. Bull walked through, his eye fixed on her. 

“Red told us what happened with your hand.” His voice was soft and sad. He wrapped his arms around her waist. “So this is it, huh?” 

"Whatever happens, I wouldn't trade the years we've had together for anything,” she rested her head on his chest and heard the quiet thrum of his heartbeat. The pain lessened for a moment. “I love you.” 

“Love you too, Kadan.” He kissed the top of her head and held her. 

“We would have been so happy,” she started. 

“Shh, not now.” Bull tilted her head up to meet his. He kissed her softly. 

The mirror shimmered again and Varric, Sera, and Rainier came through. Athena smiled. She should have known better than to think her friends would let her go it alone. 

“One last fight,” Rainier flashed a smile, but his eyes were wet and sad. 

“Right, last time to be legend. Try to keep up!” Sera slapped Rainier on his back. 

Varric adjusted his crossbow. “Alright Bianca, let's show all the tall people how it's done, one last time.” 

Behind them, Cassandra stood, tall and proud. “Thank you, all of you,” Her eyes were misty. 

Vivienne inclined her head and smiled warmly at Athena. She smiled back. 

“It has been an honor,” she started, but her eyes soon welled with tears. She took a deep breath. “Okay, let's finish this.” 

They started down the walkway, Athena reached out and touched the Eluvian. It glimmered and activated at her touch. She looked at her friends behind her. Her brow furrowed, “Where is Dorian?” She asked Bull quietly. As if on cue he stepped through the Eluvian, Cole following close behind. He met Athena’s eyes. Had he been crying? She wondered. 

“Enjoy me while you can, I'm sure you'll miss me terribly later.” 

She stepped through the Eluvian and onto the hard stone of a castle somewhere. Rainier tried to figure out where they were by the stars, but even he could not place their location. Her heart began to hammer. Something about this place felt familiar, but she couldn't place it. 

Sera and Rainier took out some of the patrolling Qunari. As they traveled through the hallways Athena began to panic. Her heart raced, her breathing shortened. She felt faint. 

“The magic here wakes it. Familiar, strong, ripping apart again, all again.” Cole said. 

“I don't feel so good,” Athena murmured. 

“Your hand hurts, it's pulling you apart.” 

“Cole!” Bull shouted, “Not. Helpful.” 

They traveled further and uncovered the Qunari’s collection of dangerous objects. The walls seemed to close in on her. 

“This way, I think,” Rainier indicated. 

The mark flared and suddenly Athena heard the Nightmare demon in her head. She clapped her hands over her ears and began to scream. 

“Inquisitor!” Cassandra shouted, alarmed. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Sera cried, and tried to pull Athena’s hands free. 

Athena dropped to her knees her eyes open but unseeing. “No, no, not now. Please.” She screamed. 

“What in the void,” Varric muttered. 

Her screams attracted more of the Antaam, and soon enough they were surrounded. Her cries were soon drowned out by the clatter of swords and curse words and Qunlat. 

“Maker’s balls,” Rainier cursed. He knelt down and pulled Athena’s hands off her ears. She fought his efforts to hold her as he pinned her arms to her side. With Cassandra's help they lifted her off the ground. She kicked and thrashed. 

“Kadan!” Bull went to touch her face and she snarled and thrashed. He pulled his hand back as if stung. 

Rainier dragged Athena through the next set of doors. She suddenly stopped fighting. He released his hold of her. She collapsed on the ground, the light of her mark glowing from her palm to her elbow. 

“You promised.” She whispered. She looked up at Bull, her eyes filled with rage. “You promised!” She screamed. “You fucking liar!” 

“Would someone please tell me what is going on,” Varric shouted. 

“She has completely lost her grip on reality,” Vivienne murmured. 

“The Nightmare made promises,” Cole murmured. “She doesn't know.” 

“Of course, a demon.” 

“I won't let you.” Athena began laughing. 

“It's words worm their way in and won't let go.” Cole seemed desperate. 

“Words, just words,” Athena fixed Bull with a hard stare. “You will not betray me.” 

“Never.” Bull promised. 

Athena tilted her head back and laughed. “You see? He promises, honeyed words hiding poison.” She paused as if listening to a response. “True, only one way to know for sure.” 

“No!” Cole cried out. 

Rainier lunged but Athena was fast and lithe. She spun and almost seemed to dance toward Bull. She pulled the dagger out from her boot and held it against her own throat. A scream escaped Bull’s throat as her blood splattered his face. 

A blast of energy threw Athena back and Dorian knocked the dagger out of her hand with his staff. He healed the cut on her throat. 

“Athena, I need you to listen to the sound of my voice,” he kept his voice calm and steady. 

“Dorian?” 

“Close your eyes and listen to my voice.” She stilled and obeyed. “Do remember what we practiced after Adamant?” 

She nodded. 

“Good girl, do you want me to start?” 

She nodded. 

Dorian cleared his throat. “The insufferable smirk Cullen gets when he wins at chess.” 

Athena’s lips twitched to betray a smile for a moment. “The smell of dirt and Elfroot after the rain, the feel of a book in my hands,“ she began to recite. 

“Clever,” Vivienne observed. 

“The smell of the library at Skyhold,” Dorian prompted. 

“Yes, and the sound of Cassandra laughing at Varric’s stories,” Athena’s voice became stronger. 

“A grounding exercise, sometimes used for young mages to recognize the difference between reality and the Fade. A remarkable application.” Vivienne explained to the others. 

“Go on,” Dorian prompted. 

“Blackwall in the stable carving wood, Sera singing by the campfire, the musk of Dorian’s cologne, the feel of Bull’s hands as he braids my hair...Oh!” Her eyes popped open. 

Dorian knelt in front of her. “That's right. You remember?” 

She nodded. 

“So what do we tell the voices?” 

“No proof.” 

“Exactly. Shall we stand?” He helped her up. She stood, and looked around at her friends, wide eyed and confused. 

“You okay, Boss?” Bull asked. Her eyes widened and still looked fearful. 

“I…yes…no…proof.” She muttered. Her hair was falling out of the intricate plait she used when fighting. Bull walked over and untied the twine she had used to secure the braid. 

“Here, let me,” he said gently. Her body was rigid but she allowed him to gently comb his fingers through her hair. He could not do more than the loose braid she used in Skyhold, but it would serve its purpose. She noticed the red ribbon tied around his wrist and touched it gently. 

“I'm sorry.” She said softly. 

“We get through this and I can think of a few ways for you to make it up to me,” he smiled. 

“We have to keep moving,” Rainier urged. 

Cassandra holstered Athena's daggers on her back. Bull kept Shrokakar's small dagger. They ran down another stone hallway and through a pair of heavy wooden doors. Right into a group of Qunari soldiers. 

“Teth a! Bas!” One shouted. 

The Viddasala stood at the top of the stairs. 

“Inquisiton!” She shouted, “Nehraa-Ataashi-asaara meravas adim kata!” She ducked out of the way of one of Sera’s arrows. “Hissrad! Now, please. Vinek kathas.” 

It was a moment when time seemed to stand still. Cassandra and Rainier turned their shields towards their companion. Athena dropped her daggers and looked up at Bull. Was he smiling? He heaved his Greataxe and turned to the Viddasala. 

“Not a chance. Ma’am.” He winked at Athena and jumped down the stairs, his axe landing a heavy blow on one of the Antaam fighters. Athena fell to her knees, heavy sobs escaped her lips and tears rolled down her cheeks. She felt the snap of Dorian’s barrier as her friends fought around her. She was vaguely aware of the room quieting and heard Bull’s heavy breathing. 

“Bull,” Cassandra started, “that cannot have been easy.” 

“You okay, Tiny?” 

“The Iron Bull is just fine. When this is over, drinks are on me. Probably a lot of them.” 

Athena sat up and wiped her eyes. The voice that had dominated her mind seemed to be gone, it was as if a spell had been lifted. She smiled as Bull knelt in front of her. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and offered his hands. 

“Ready to finish this, Kadan?” He asked. 

Athena took his hands and he helped her stand. She melted into his arms and kissed him, “As long as you are at my side.” 

“Always,” Bull smiled. 

=====================

They found notes referring to the Ataashi, and the cries in the distance were decidedly inhuman. Finally they stumbled into a large dungeon housing a weak and injured dragon, bound by chains and fire. 

“You mean Dragon’s breath is an actual dragon?” Varric deadpanned. 

“They have a dragon? Why didn't I ever get posted anywhere with a dragon?” Bull whined. 

“They’re hurting her!” Cole cried. 

“Blackwall, Cass, Sera: distract the Qunari,” Athena shouted. “Bull, Dorian, Varric: Cover me!” 

She ran and moved the plates to redirect the fire, ignoring the pain in her hand. Bull and Rainier opened the large iron gate and out the dragon tumbled, taking out most of the Antaam soldiers in their way. 

But the Viddasala was still alive and waiting for them by the Eluvian. Behind her stood a Sarebas that dwarfed even Bull. 

“Solas is an agent of Fen'Harel!?” Bull shouted as they fought their way through the mirror. 

“I should have known, it was my duty,” Cassandra lamented as she cut down the last of the Antaam. 

“Solas is the only one who can fix the mark,” Athena said gripping her hand, “Dorian, do you have any of those bandages left?” 

“No, but I may be able to re wrap it,” he said softly. He peeled off the wrapping, stained with blood and dirt and Athena rolled up her shirt. To his credit Dorian managed not to react, but her friends were not so subtle. 

“Maker—“ 

“Shit, it looks bad—“ 

“Oh, my dear.” 

The mark had spread well past her forearm and glowed to her elbow and up her arm. She looked down at her hand and sank down onto her knees. 

“Never mind, Dorian.” She murmured. 

“No, maybe if—“ she held up her hand to cut him off. 

“I've watched my father treat enough infections to know when it's past hope.” She wiggled her fingers, the mark shown through her very bones. It was over. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“I will need a team to stay here and deal with any remaining Qunari. Someone else will need to let Cullen know what our status is.” She took a deep breath. “I know you all want to follow and to help, but you can't. We pledged ourselves to a higher calling and I am asking you to hold to that now.” 

They nodded. 

“Friggin, frig,” Sera kicked at a dead body next to her. “It's not fair!” 

“Sera!” Athena shouted. Pain shot up her arm and forced her jaw shut. 

“It's not. We do our bit, save the world, and you get to be happy, right? No. Stupid Solas and the Fade, and now Bull won't be a Dad, and…” Tears fell freely. Rainier pulled her into a hug. 

“I'll take her and do some sweeps of the battlements,” he said. He kissed Athena's forehead. “It has been an honor, child.” He pulled Sera away. 

Athena looked at Varric. The dwarf folded his arms and scowled at her. “No.” 

“Varric—“ 

“No!” 

Athena hugged him. “You are a good and loyal friend, master Tethras. But Kirkwall needs its Viscount. And Hawke needs you. I couldn't take her away from you in the Fade just as I won't take you from her now.” She kissed his forehead. “Go, please.” 

“Shit,” Varric looked away and quickly wiped his eye. “You take care of her, Tiny.” 

“Will do.” 

“Cassandra, go with him.” 

“It was not supposed to end like this,” the Seeker’s eyes welled with tears. “You were supposed to live happily ever after. Both of you.” 

“Hey,” Bull said softly, “there is still a chance of that if we find Solas he fixes it.” 

“Come, Cassandra.” Vivienne looked over at Athena and inclined her head, “it has been an honor, my darling.” 

Bull helped her stand. She leaned against him. “No sense asking you to go anywhere, is there?” 

He smiled and shook his head. “Nope. Almost lost you at Haven and at Adamant. You tend to have bad luck when I'm not around.” 

“Dorian—“ 

“Fasta vass. I am staying. You two can't fight your way through an army of Qunari without my help.” 

“Cole can sneak back better than any of the others. So if this goes sideways fast, you get out and help the others. Got it?” 

Cole nodded. Athena brushed herself off and stepped through the Eluvian. 

================

She fought as well as she could, considering she could only use one hand to fight. The other caused so much pain she felt faint. The anchor built up energy that she could no longer control, and she found herself simply directing its magic at the Qunari in her way. At one point it blew her back into a wall and knocked the breath out of her lungs. 

“Athena!” Dorian cried. Bull looked back over his shoulder at her. 

“Stay back!” She yelled. “I can't control it!” 

“It's the veil. It wants to be back but it's trapped on you. I don't know how to help!” Cole’s voice was sad and desperate. 

“Keep Bull alive,” she ordered through clenched teeth. She felt every muscle in her body contract. She screamed and the blast from her hand threw her several feet into the air and she collapsed in a heap. The pain in her hand was echoed by a smaller twinge in her abdomen. She slowly stood. Bull heaved one of the Antaam over his head and threw him off a cliff. She couldn't see Dorian. Besides, what could he do? It was too late. She had only reclaimed her mind within the last hour, but she saw her own death looming in front of her. Bull’s too. There was madness behind his eyes as he fought and killed his own people, and she knew that The Chargers would not be enough. Not after being given the opportunity to hope for more. They would die together, and take the Viddasala down with them. 

They fought and fought. Bull had been caught in the ribs by one of their spears but refused more than just a hasty bandage that was rapidly soaking through with blood. Dorian had gotten a nosebleed from the exertion fighting Saareth and Cole seemed spent. Athena used the anchor to her advantage, and they finally managed to catch up with the Viddasala. 

“There!” Athena pointed. “We're so close.” She doubled over as a sharp stabbing pain claimed her abdomen. 

“His heart beats too fast, he can't keep up! It's too much.” Cole pulled at his hat and cried. Athena pressed her right hand against her womb. 

“It won't be long now, little one.” She said quietly. Bull leaned against the wall behind her. She looked back at him and shook her head, just so slightly, and he shut his eye and took a breath. He stumbled forward and pulled his axe out of the head of the Saareth. He sat at the steps leading up to the Eluvian, which was still active. Dorian tossed Bull a healing potion. Bull pulled the cork out with his mouth and spat it on the ground. He took a swig and handed it to Athena. She shook her head. 

“It's not going to do anything for the anchor.” 

“It's not for you.” He replied, his eyes fixed on Dorian as he healed a burn on Cole’s back. 

“Ah,” she took the bottle and took a few gulps. 

“Finish it.” 

“But Bull, you're bleeding.” 

He turned and fixed her with a hard stare. “I'll be fine. Just...finish it.” 

She took the remaining mouthfuls of the potion. She wanted to ask Cole if it helped, but she did not want to know his answer. She touched the mirror and it glimmered. She stepped through. 

“Hey, Kadan, wait!” Bull stood but stumbled and grabbed his side. 

“Fasta vass,” Dorian cried. “Go after her!” 

“What do you think I'm trying to do?” Bull roared back. And coughed. Blood littered the steps. He heaved his great body up the last few steps and touched the mirror. Nothing happened. “What. The. Fuck.” He pushed harder. And soon began to pound on the Eluvian. 

“Stop! Stop! Stop!” Dorian pulled him away. “You'll break it and we'll never be able to follow.” 

“Why did it do that? None of the others did. Stupid magic crap. If I find Solas I'm going to crack that head of his like an egg.” 

Dorian ignored Bull’s ranting and prodded the mirror. It glistened under his touch but would not yield. “Hm…” 

“Hmm? That's all you have to say?! Fucking ‘Vints and their damned books and magic and—“ 

“I am excusing your poor behavior do to your emotional distress and blood loss. But keep it up and I won't heal that puncture wound in your ribs.” Dorian raised his eyebrow and glared back at Bull. “The Eluvian is open, but won't respond…” 

“It got locked?” 

Dorian shook his head. “No, more like...someone holding the door so you can't come in. It's powerful magic…venhedis, let me look at that before you faint.” 

“No, magic mirror thing.” Bull pointed and noticed his hand was bloody. He tasted metal on his tongue. 

“Bull, there is a chance someone will need to carry her out of here, and you are best suited to do it. But if we need to drag your sorry ass back through the Crossroads too…” 

“Alright, alright.” He felt warmth as Dorian’s magic healed his side. “Just, save some of it for the mirror thing.” 

Dorian rolled his eyes. 

“I don't know what she sees in you.” 

“Sure you do.” Bull winked and coughed again. The bleeding slowed. 

“You are insufferable.” 

Cole was studying the mirror. “I can't hear her. But the Fade feels different, it's coming together, or apart. I can't tell anymore. Two heartbeats. One strong and sturdy, the other soft flickering fleeting like a candle flame. I can't hear it anymore.” 

“Cole, you are making no sense. Even for you.” Bull felt woozy from blood loss. 

“The Eluvian did not respond to Cole at all,” Dorian mused. “But it seemed to give to me a bit. I wonder…” Dorian rifled through his pockets. He pulled out a handful of bandages that had been around Athena's hand and wrist. “Bull, do you have anything of hers?” 

Bull shook his head and played with the dragon’s tooth around his neck. 

“Yes you do.” Cole pointed. “There. On your arm.” 

“No, this…” Bull untied it and played with the worn satin. “She wore this in her hair.” 

“And around her hand,” Dorian snatched the ribbon and walked over to the Eluvian. “When the mark was bothering her she would wrap her hand with that ribbon she wore in her hair. It may respond to the mark. That may be why it opened for her and not us.” 

“Did it bother her that much?” 

“She didn't want to worry you. Or me, for that matter, but between the mark and the voices she needed someone to talk to.” 

“Why didn't she come to me?” 

“Likely because you would have made her hit you with a stick,” Dorian retorted. Cole looked confused. 

“But, you helped, Dorian. And so did the Iron Bull. Healing different hurts in her.” 

“Come on, unlock the stupid mirror door.” 

“One second…and…let's see.” Dorian had wrapped the ribbon and bandages around his own hand and pressed it against the Eluvian, it shimmered and opened and they stepped through. 

And straight into statues of fighting Qunari. 

“Amazing, they are petrified…” Dorian muttered. 

Cole cowered by the mirror. 

“No, no, this is wrong, he wouldn't want to do this…he's not that kind of wolf….” 

“Oh he better not have turned her into a fucking statue,” Bull ran up the hill. 

“Solas, please,” Athena cried. 

“Enjoy your time, while it remains.” He turned to leave. 

Bull ran to her side, “Kadan, are you alright?” 

“The mark its…gone,” Dorian cried. “Oh but her hand, she needs a healer, NOW.” 

“Can't you?” 

Dorian shook his head. “This goes well beyond what I picked up at Skyhold.” 

Athena slumped into Bull’s arms, he looked up to see Solas step through the mirror. “You kill my kid I'm finding and ending you!” 

Solas paused at Bull’s words. “A child?” He murmured. And shook his head. “I am truly sorry.” He stepped through the Eluvian. 

“Bull!” Dorian shouted. Athena's hand was black and smelled of burned flesh. 

“Heartbeat like a candle, flickering, fleeting…don't let it go out…” 

“I got it, I got it!” Bull lifted Athena and carried her back down the slope. It was then he noticed the Viddasala’s petrified form, spear in hand. Good, he thought, at least Solas took care of the Qunari. It's the least he could do. 

==================

They ran as fast as they could through the uneven terrain. The strain reopened the wound on Bull’s side and he felt the warmth of his blood against his leg. He didn't dare look down but he felt the fabric of his pants leg clinging to his left thigh. 

“Fasta vass,” Dorian muttered when they were back at the Davaarad. “Bull—“ 

“No time,” he replied. His ears were ringing and his vision was cloudy. He could feel his blood pressure dropping. They made it through the maze of tunnels and found themselves near the last Eluvian. The sun was coming up. 

"Here they are! Sera, go send word ahead!" Rainier's voice cut through the predawn silence. He was bleeding from a cut on his head but was otherwise no worse for the wear. “Maker’s balls man, look at you.” 

Bull dropped to his knees. Athena was still unconscious. 

“Take her,” he said quietly. “I can't…” 

Rainier nodded and lifted Athena over his shoulder. He stepped through the Eluvian. Bull soon felt a tug at his shoulder. 

“Venhedis you are heavy.” Dorian grumbled. 

“Leave me. She needs you.” 

“You need a healer. I don't have the stamina to heal this, Bull. I am spent from trying to slow down the damage from the anchor.” 

“Go, I'll wait. You can send for a healer. I'm not going anywhere.” Bull put his hand over the wound. Blood seeped over his fingers. He leaned against the stone wall. He was cold. “The important thing is she'll be okay.” 

“Bull…” 

“You are a good man, Magister Pavus. Maybe in another life…” 

“Vishante kafass, I can't just leave you here.” 

“Go, please. Take care of my Kadans…both of them…” 

“Just…hold on a little longer…I'll be right back. Just let me find a lyrium potion and I'll be back.” 

Bull heard the sound of the Eluvian and then silence. Rainier and Sera really had cleared the place out. Somewhere in the distance a bird sang. The Iron Bull watched the sun rise in the horizon. 

“This is a good place to die,” he thought to himself. And then he closed his eye.


	57. Chapter 57

Athena stirred as Rainier was stepping into the castle. She was quickly placed onto a canvas litter and carried off. Cullen's voice cut across the chaos. 

“Send your best healers to the Inquisitor's chambers at once. Lady Vivienne is already awaiting her and will help tend to the wounds as they are of a…magical nature. Rainier, where is Dorian?” 

“He was with Bull. I don't know. I only carried her the last bit. Maker there was so much blood…” 

She smelled fire and over-cooked meat, it made her nauseous. Someone tied a tourniquet around her right arm. 

“Is there anything we need to know?” A woman's voice called out. “The Inquisitor? What is the nature of her other injuries?” 

“I—I don't know, I wasn't there…Maker…Commander, The Iron Bull…” 

“We need to move her now, she is covered in blood, where was she injured?” 

Dorian's voice rang out over the din. “It's not her blood!” 

“Dorian…” Athena murmured. 

“She’s awake!” 

“Inquisitor, can you hear me?” 

Her eyelids fluttered. “Dorian…” 

She smelled the musk of his cologne, “I'm here, don't worry.” 

“Something's burning…” 

“Yes, well…” 

“I don't like the smell.” 

“Shh, be still. Cullen you need to send a team for Bull, he was gravely injured.” 

“The Chief, where's The Chief?” 

But she did not hear the rest. She was carried out of the room and into the palace. Within moments she was in a soft feather bed that felt wrong. 

“Bull?” She called. 

“Hush my dear,” Vivienne stroked her forehead. “Drink this, it will help with the pain.” 

“Something is burning, don't you smell it?” 

“We will take care of it, but for now we manage the pain.” 

Athena obliged and drank the bitter liquid. She forgot what it was like to not hurt, and the relief brought tears to her eyes. She fainted. 

=====================================================================

She stared at her arm. Nausea crept over her as she moved her fingers and felt them move, only nothing was there. They had taken her arm below the elbow. No, she thought as anger snaked its way up her throat, Solas took my arm. It had been a gesture of compassion, of friendship, to spare her life. To spare her child’s life. 

And now Solas wanted to end the blighted world. Over her dead body. 

The large doors opened, revealing Vivienne’s unmistakable silhouette. Two other healers followed behind her. It suddenly occurred to Athena that she had no idea how much time had passed since the events of the Davaraad. The voices had subsided, for the most part, but she guessed they would always be there. It was always there, a deep pool of psychosis that she circled endlessly. It would be so easy to just dive in and live there. But then she remembered the terror of not knowing what was real and what wasn't. Of not trusting anyone. She tried to still her mind. 

“How are you, my dear?” Vivienne had demonstrated a level of gentleness that went beyond anything Athena ever thought the First Enchanter was capable of. 

“I still feel it, Vivienne.” 

“Ah, yes, it is an unfortunate side effect. We must monitor you to see if the corruption spread.” 

Athena nodded. She had seen enough people with blood poisoning to know what might await her. 

“How is everyone, Vivienne? Why aren't they here?” 

Vivienne's face looked soft for a moment. Athena’s heart leapt to her throat. The only reason her friends would not be at her bedside to greet her was only if someone else was worse off. Cole? Dorian? She looked down at her remaining hand. It was then she noticed her tunic was stained dark red. But it wasn't her blood. 

“He will not survive the Davaraad…” She remembered the Demon’s taunts from years ago. She looked up. “Bull, Vivienne where is Bull?!” 

Vivienne closed her eyes for a moment and took a breath. When she looked back at Athena tears threatened to fall. 

“My dear, he never returned from the Davaraad.” 

========================================================================

“Chief! CHIEF!” Krem's voice called out. 

“He was over here somewhere.” Dorian yelled. 

“There!” Dalish pointed, “by that wall!” 

“Andraste’s tits is that all HIS blood?” 

“We can try to use magic to stop the bleeding but we need to get him back to the Palace.” 

“We’ve got the stretcher!” Blackwall and Sera yelled. 

“Good, it's going to take all of us to lift his fat ass. Chief,” Krem shook Bull’s shoulder. “Chief, come on…” 

“Let me check for a pulse.” 

“No! No, no, no…” Sera cried out. She threw her arms around Bull and pressed her head to his chest. 

“Sera MOVE—“ 

“Please, Bull." She closed her eyes and hugged him close. Krem pulled her off. 

“Alright, Thom you and Grim take his shoulders. Skinner, Dalish and Sera, take his feet. Stitches and I will lift from the hips and put him on the litter. Rocky, make sure you keep our path clear and let us know when the ground might be uneven. On the count of three. One, two, three!!” 

They hoisted his massive body onto the stretcher and the Krem, Rainier, Grim, and Rocky lifted him off the ground. “Come on, let's get this man back to the palace.” 

They got through the final mirror and Dorian was waiting for them. 

"He's not—there's no..." Stiches mumbled. Sera sniffed. 

"Vishante kafass," Dorian muttered and held his hands over Bull. He concentrated his magic and sent a shockwave through Bull's chest. With a loud thud the mercenary gasped and Stitches felt a pulse. He looked back at Dorian, bewildered. 

"Take care of him!" Dorain shouted. He staggered back.


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Dorian's POV for a quick moment. I realized I didn't have much of the Dorian/Cullen romance. Just a little bit of fluff and a break from all the Trespasser drama.

He stood for a moment in the chaos, as if watching himself from above. Inquisition troops grabbed the stretcher and carried the bleeding mercenary down the stairs. Likely off to the servants quarters. That's what his mother would have done, had she been sober enough to give directions to anyone. 

He realized his hands were shaking, whether from exhaustion or what he had witnessed he could not be sure. Likely both. His head throbbed. He felt his temple gingerly. He was bleeding. Kafass, it might leave a scar. Then the room got very quiet. He looked around. There was enough commotion surrounding him. Then his ears started to ring. “Bloody blood pressure,” he muttered as his knees gave way. 

Strong hands and the unmistakable scent of dog broke his fall. 

“Maker, Dorian, you're bleeding!” Cullen grabbed a handkerchief and pressed it against the wound. Rough hands probed his arms and shoulders. “Should we have a healer look at you? Are you injured?” 

“Please tell me that you did not just press a hand dyed silk handkerchief against my bloody forehead,” Dorian muttered. Cullen blushed and looked down. “Kafass,” he hated it when he pouted. “You are worse than that blighted mongrel of yours. I am fine, Amatus.” 

Cullen helped him stand. They were now alone in the room. 

“I worry about you, and with you going back to Tevinter…” Cullen looked down at their hands. “It will be dangerous, and I wonder, will I see you again?” 

His sincerity broke Dorian’s heart. Dorian held his lover’s face in his hands. It was healthy and tanned by the summer sun, his golden eyes glinted in the dim candlelight. Still with the perpetual stubble because he was too busy to be bothered to shave everyday. And the scar that had caused Dorian to lose more chess games than he'd care to admit. 

That was how it had started. Dorian had been playing against himself in the garden when Cullen walked past after leaving the small chapel. Every morning, a prayer for those lost, and those trying to find their way. Cullen caught sight of the board and asked for a game. One game became three, then everyday. Exchanging books, discussing theory…weeks blurred into months. Hasty kisses in the stacks of the Skyhold library or Cullen's office. Holding him as he shivered through the night. He made Dorian uncharacteristically sentimental. 

“I will miss you so,” Dorian whispered, and kissed him. 

“Is this to be the end?” Cullen asked, slowly backing Dorian against the wall. “Are you to be a memory of a time my dreams did not haunt me? Of the man who sat with me and nursed me through the worst of the lyrium withdrawals?” He pressed his torso against Dorian’s. “If that is to be the case, I will count myself lucky.” 

Dorian could never concentrate when Cullen was so close. The very thought of having the commander tear his clothes of and ravage him left him completely unable to respond. The smirk on Cullen’s face meant he knew precisely what he was doing. Dorian grabbed at Cullen’s belt, earning a look of shock that was quickly replaced with a lustful smile. 

“The world almost ended, today,” Dorian whispered. 

“The world almost ends nearly everyday.” Cullen replied. He grabbed the hand on his waist and pinned it against the wall over Dorian’s head. “We are always at war, corruption within our ranks, and yet I find myself preoccupied with a handsome Magister. Perhaps I need something to remember you by.” 

They had spoken about this. Cullen did not want to end, neither did Dorian, if he was honest with himself. They both cared about each other, deeply, but time and distance would do what it always did. Some girl would eventually turn Cullen’s head, and she could give him a family. For he wanted children because he liked them. Not for inheritance or family legacy. Because in Cullen's world people fall in love and have children. Simple as that. Dorian would be the last member of the House of Pavus. He had accepted this. There would be no sham marriage nor any children to take his name. Dorian knew he might never find what he had with Cullen in Tevinter, but he was willing to sacrifice everything for his homeland. His life. His happiness. Besides, nothing was guaranteed. He had watched Athena give everything to the Inquisition, and how she may lose her happy ending. If she had blood poisoning, or if she lost Bull... 

Dorian let out a small involuntary sob. Cullen looked alarmed. 

“Maker Dorian, I did not mean to upset you…” His arms wrapped Dorian in an embrace. This is what home feels like, Dorian thought. His heart broke. 

“Amatus, is everything over? Are we to lose all we have worked for?” 

Cullen kissed Dorian softly. “The Inquisition is all but ended, unless the Inquisitor finds a creative loophole. If anyone can it would be her. But she may not survive the night. And if Bull dies…” Cullen looked off into the distance. 

“She will not be in a place to make any decisions, creative or otherwise” Dorian finished his thought. “And what of you? What will become of you?” 

Cullen shrugged, “I suppose I will go down to South Reach and see my family for a time. I have thought…” 

“You have thought,” Dorian prodded. 

Cullen sighed. “With the Templar order disbanded, there may be others who are like me. Not corrupted by Sampson and Corypheus, who are still tied to lyrium. There were some, at Skyhold, who stopped. It felt good to help. Maybe I will continue to do that…” 

Dorian made a small noise in his throat and covered his face. Maker, he was fucking perfect. 

“You are an amazing man, Amatus. I have no doubt you will succeed.” 

“I am terrible at goodbyes, Dorian. I still regret not seeing you off when you departed Skyhold. I just…couldn't.” Cullen closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Dorian's shoulder. Dorian wrapped his arms around Cullen’s waist. Maker, he was so solid. “I think of her, and Bull. How one cannot survive without the other. I think of you…willingly placing yourself in harms way. Never to return. Either because you are dead or successful in your endeavors. And I…I cannot pretend this never happened. And I cannot follow you. But, perhaps, you may delay your departure? For a few days, on the coast. We could be together.” 

“A illicit rendezvous? How scandalous.” 

Cullen scowled, he hated it when Dorian was sarcastic. Dorian softened his voice. “Amatus, nothing would make me happier. Of course I will. Provided you shave. I refuse to return to Tevinter with a rash from the scruff on your face.” 

Cullen broke into a large smile. “For you, anything.” 

"But for now," Dorian kissed Cullen hastily as he ran out of the room. "I must go tend to Bull."


	59. Chapter 59

“What do you mean he never made it back?!” Athena thrashed in the bed as four Inquisition officers attempted to hold her against the bed. She snarled at one of the men near her soldier. “You let go right this minute that is an ORDER!” 

The young man looked over at Vivienne, fear apparent on his face. 

“Belay that order. Inquisitor, we must treat the wound the anchor left.” Vivienne replied. 

“Oh, I'm going to be sick,” she muttered. 

Immediately the hands pinning her down disappeared, and Athena sat up and vomited into a bucket one of the healers thrust under her. When she finished she looked down at the bed. The sheets were already stained with blood. It had soaked through her braid and when she untied the binding her hair remained immobile, with loose strands clinging to her face and neck. 

“This is Bull’s blood,” she whispered to herself. 

That moment an Orlesian servant burst into the room. “Madame de Fer! You are needed immediately! The Commander—"

Athena's heart hammered in her chest, “Bull!” She groaned. 

Vivienne’s cold eyes flashed across the room. “Nobody let the Inquisitor leave this room, you understand?” The men nodded. And she swept out of the room closing the doors behind her. Athena looked at the two young healers and the four guards. She growled. 

“Your…your worship?” 

Athena rolled off the bed and bolted for the door. She was seized by the shoulders and dragged back from the door. 

“Your arm—“ 

“Not safe—“ 

“Madame de Fer said—“ 

“I don't care what Madame de Fer said!” She snarled. “Let. Me. Go!” 

But their grip was strong and would not relent. Athena lifted her feet and swung them behind her, tripping the men as they pulled her back. One guard let go as he fell. Athena pivoted and pulled out from the other guard’s grip. A third man lunged but she dodged and kicked him in the chest. She turned and was out the door in a flash, with three guards and two healers in pursuit. She flew down the stairs and straight into Cullen. 

“Inquisitor!” He cried, startled. 

“No time, where's Bull?” 

“I—they brought him into a room in the servants quarters. What are you—“ 

“Stop her!” One of the healers yelled out. 

“Thanks!” She shouted and slid down the railing of the staircase and into the servants quarters, locking the door behind her. 

She took a deep breath while she listened to the angry shouts from the other side of the door. They would find another way in. She wandered out into the courtyard, memories of slain elves and Venatori agents flitting through her mind. Up ahead she noticed Rainier and Sera, sitting on benches in the garden with what must have been some of the Chargers. Yes, she recognized Dalish’s staff. She walked over.

Sera noticed her first, her face registering relief and then horror as she glanced at her missing hand. Athena hid it behind her back.

“All right, Buckles?” She asked, wary. 

“Maker’s balls, woman!” Rainier cursed. “You shouldn't be here.” 

“How is he? How bad is it?” She looked over at Dalish and Skinner, they avoided her eyes. Grim just grunted. 

“That scary Mage lady went in a few minutes ago.” Rocky offered. “She's in there with Stitches and Dorian.” 

“He was alive when we brought him through, I think.” Skinner’s voice was thin and she wiped her nose. 

“Krem said he's never seen The Chief so bad.” Dalish whispered. 

“I need to see him,” she insisted. 

“You need your arm looked at,” Rainier countered. “You can't help him now.” 

They were interrupted by Cullen, Cassandra and half a dozen of the Inquisition Honor Guard. 

“Inquisitor!” Cassandra’s tone cut through any pretense of negotiation. “We are hear to escort you to your room. Now.” 

“No! Athena straightened her shoulders and glared down at her friend and Commander. ”I will not leave until I know Bull is alive.” 

“Maker’s breath just let her go see—" 

“No.” 

“Cassandra, please,” Athena’s voice cracked, she sank to her knees. “I love him. I can't…I can't breathe without him. If I lose him…” Tears rolled down her cheek, washing away the blood and grime from earlier that day. 

Cassandra’s voice softened, and she knelt down next to her friend. “You must have your wounds tended.” 

Athena sniffled. 

“Can we not tend to her here?” Cullen asked. 

Athena brightened. “Yes, can't we?” 

“But she is the Inquisitor! To stay in the servants quarters…” 

“Fuck that. I'm not leaving. Bring the healers here.” 

Cassandra sighed. Cullen issued orders and within a few minutes Athena was sitting on a hay filled mattress in a small dark room. The bed was small and uncomfortable, but she had slept on worse surfaces. Though Sera giggled when she noticed Athena's legs hung off the end of the bed. 

Athena sat while two Circle mages and several doctors studied what was left of her arm. She said nothing as they tried ointments and incantations. She distracted herself by listening to Sera hum lullabies and talk about the baby. Next to her sat Rainier, who had started whittling a small piece of wood. He had seen enough injured soldiers to know when a wound was past hope, but he said nothing. He occasionally looked up at her and smiled, and Athena recalled the times they say by the campfire and he would tell her stories. There, in the privacy of those moments, they forged a deep understanding of one another. At first he had yearned for her admiration, then it was her forgiveness, both of which she had offered willingly. Now she was unsure if she could provide him with what he needed, but she made a stab at it. 

“Would you want to be called uncle or papa?” She asked quietly. 

Rainier froze for a moment before looking up at her, his eyes filled with tears. Athena pushed further. 

“You know, I used to call my father papa. So, perhaps it is fitting you take that title.” 

Sera punched her shoulder. “Cut it, you. Don't make me cry.” 

Rainier knelt by her side. “I couldn't love my own daughter more than you.” He kissed her forehead. Athena smiled and rested her head on his.

shoulder. “Bull will be alright, won't he?”

“He lost a lot of blood, child. But if anyone is stubborn enough to pull through, it would be him.” 

=====================

They sat in relative quiet. Sera would go check on Bull’s progress and Rainier quietly carved at the small piece of wood with his knife. Athena wondered where Shrokakar’s dagger had gone. She wondered when the healers would tell her if she had blood poisoning. And if she didn't, she wondered what she would do once she could not fight, or climb. She wondered how she would hold her son. She wanted Cole to tell her the baby was alive and healthy, and his absence made her nervous. 

The dark room left her with no sense of time. Eventually a servant brought in supper which was a clear broth and hunk of bread. Varric sat with Athena while Rainier got supper at the tavern. 

“Any news from Weisshaupt?” 

"I got word from...well, best not to mention an entire smuggling supply chain in polite company. Turns out it's the special kind of shit show that only happens when Hawke is around. Though my money is on Hawke walking away as the fortress explodes.” 

“I liked her. Maybe I'll come visit you all in Kirkwall. We can braid each other's hair.” 

Varric laughed. 

“Hand me one of Prince Sebastian’s letters,” Athena reached out. “I do a halfway decent Starkhaven accent.” 

And so she distracted herself by doing dramatic readings of “Choir Boy’s” letters, much to Varric’s delight. Sera and Rainier joined them and joined in the ruckus. The mood in the room was jovial when Dorian swept in and studied her arm. 

“How is Bull?” Athena couldn't keep the desperation out of her voice. 

“Still alive, for now.” Dorian frowned as he prodded her elbow. “Do you feel that?” 

“You know I didn't, Dorian.” 

“Venhedis,” he muttered. He had dark circles under his eyes. She wondered when any of her friends had gotten a full night's rest over the last few days. 

“Dorian.” 

He muttered a few words in Tevene. 

“DORIAN!” 

His head snapped up and his eyes focused on her. “Kafass, woman, haven't they bathed you?” 

“How is Bull?” 

He shook his head. “Won't know until he wakes up. If he wakes up. Your arm…” His hand glowed slightly. “Anything?” 

“I thought the infection would kill me. But you managed to stop it, didn't you?” 

“Luckily.” 

“Dorian, I am going to miss you.” 

“Well, I miss you smelling of lavender and violets, not rotted meat and dirt. I cannot stand to see you covered in filth. Let me see what I can do.” 

Within a few minutes she received a cold sponge bath from a stern old lady who wouldn't even let Sera remain with Athena, insisting the patient needed to rest. And despite her protests otherwise, it did not take long before Athena had drifted off to sleep. 

===========================================================================

She awoke before dawn to find her room empty, save one healer and guardsman, asleep by the hearth. She hastily threw on a long tunic and attempted to pull on breaches, but that proved near impossible with only one arm. So she risked being half naked as she snuck out of her room and tiptoed into the garden. The Chargers were still waiting, asleep against each other on the ground and leaning against the stone benches. Even Krem was asleep in the chair outside Bull’s room. The door was ajar and Athena slipped in. 

Bull was lying on two mattresses that had been laid on the floor. The fire had died down to soft embers, which cast long shadows about the room. His left torso was bandaged and wrapped. The pile of blood soaked rags in the corner hinted at the severity of his injury. Athena picked up the bandages and threw them into the hearth. She then added a log and the fire sputtered to life, warming the room. She hung a kettle to heat and found a clean cloth on the table. She poured the hot water into a bucket and began to gently wash Bull. Blood had soaked through his trousers, which they had likely removed to search for injuries. She washed the dried blood off of his leg and moved up. She was dabbing his face when he finally stirred. 

“Shh,” Athena hushed him and kissed his nose. 

“Kadan? Where did? How did—“ 

“Be still, my love.” 

“I feel dizzy.” 

“You lost a lot of blood. You're going to feel woozy for a while.” 

Bull sat up slowly, and grimaced with pain as he touched his side. They sat quietly together, as she washed his back and changed the bandage that covered a burn from their fight with the Saraath. It would leave another track of scars.

“Next time we fight a Sarebas how about you don't use yourself as a shield.” She murmured. 

“Hopefully there won't be a next time.” 

“No, my fighting days are behind me.” And she showed Bull her left arm. 

“Oh, Kadan…” 

She looked at Bull. He was pale, and he studied her arm quietly. She stroked his cheek. “But I have you, and you have me. We are ALIVE, Bull.” 

He smiled. 

"We are.” 

Krem stumbled in, sword in hand, “Who's in here? No one is supposed to—Chief! You're awake!” He ran out into the garden and soon they were surrounded by The Chargers, who happily slapped each other's backs and congratulated Stitches. Bull smiled and laughed with his men. After a few minutes Krem shooed them all out, insisting Bull get some rest. Bull grumbled at the clucking but looked tired. Athena kissed his eyepatch. 

“I should go back before they notice I'm gone. Rest.” 

“Fine, fine. Hey, Kadan—“ 

“Yes?” 

“When did you become a redhead?” 

“When you decided to bleed out onto my hair. It's stained.” 

“Oh, well. I like it. And the..." 

He placed a large hand on her stomach. 

"I guess we wait and see." 

"We can do that, now, can't we?" 

She nodded. They could get through this. They could get through anything. Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap! I can't believe this is almost totally finished. I hope those of you who have read some (or even all!) of it have enjoyed. Epilogue to come in a day or two. 
> 
> And now I'm already starting on a Dorian/Lavellan story, because I can't stop myself...


	60. Chapter 60

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

Rain and wind pounded at the windows, the hinges creaked in response. Three figures sat by the large fireplace. A white haired elf sat in a large overstuffed armchair, he swirled a glass and took a sip of brandy. His entire body exuded confidence and ease. It contrasted with the smaller figure who tapped the mantle impatiently. 

There was a sharp knock on the door and the white haired elf’s entire body tensed. The third person placed a hand on his shoulder. Her touch instantly soothed him and he leaned back into the chair. A hooded figure came through the door as an elven servant removed the soaked cloak. A small excitable Dalish elf ran into the room. 

“I'm not late, am I? It hasn't started?” 

“No, Merrill, not yet.” 

“Oh, good. I brought what I think we’ll need. Herbs and bandages and—"

“Daisy, come by the fire and warm up. No need to worry yourself sick.” 

“Says you. You keep that pacing up, dwarf, and you will owe Hawke a new floor.” 

“Well, he should be here by now.” 

Varric began drumming his fingers on the mantle. 

“He will come.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“He’s a Magister—“ the sneer in his voice was clear despite the fact that his face was hidden in shadow. 

“Fenris,” Hawke’s voice cut through the air like a knife, “you remember who will be staying with us.” 

“Yes, yes. I will behave. If he does.” 

“Maferath's balls, I told Sparkler this would be a bad idea.” 

“It will be fine.” Hawke shot Fenris a stern look. “Won't it?” 

“Yes.” The elf grumbled. His tattoos glowed slightly, betraying his anger. 

“Yes, well.” Merrill began to sort through the basket of herbs, placing them on the desk in the corner. 

“Daisy, one small note. Don't say or do too much magic around the big guy. He’s…touchy.” Varric cautioned. 

“Ooh, does he have a problem with elves?” 

“No, not at all! He is just…touchy about magic.” 

“Blood magic,” Fenris clarified. 

“But I just want to help, I—" 

“Merrill, don't worry. We need your skills. Why don't you go check on the patient. I'll put a kettle on. We will need water to sterilize, yes?” Hawke again cut through her friend's conversation. There was a fatigue in her tone that was new to Varric. He wondered if Fenris noticed. 

“Yes. Oh, yes, that is a great idea, Hawke.” And Merrill darted up the stairs. 

“Fasta vass,” Fenris grumbled. 

“Well, you COULD have gone with him.” Hawke shot back. 

“I thought you didn't want me killing her Magister friend.” 

“I met the man. I fought with him. He is not like Danarius.” 

“More importantly,” Varric cut in before the two started fighting. Again. “He is HER best friend and I say we don't begrudge the pregnant lady's request." 

There was a loud knock on the door. 

“Serah Hawke, there is a large group of Qunari demanding we let them in. Says they are city guard.” 

Hawke nodded and five armored city guardsmen stood in the middle of the room. A large woman stepped forward. 

“So you're the one they call Hawke.” 

“I am.” 

“You killed the Arishok in single combat.” 

“I did.” 

They stood in silence for several moments. The guardsmen had left puddles on the floor but seemed oblivious to the wet and cold. 

“With daggers, I heard.” 

Hawke shrugged. “I use whatever I have on hand.” Fenris stifled a laugh. The Qunari woman grinned. 

“I am Shrokakar of the city guard. Formally of the Valo-kas. Adaar was in my care for years before the Inquisition. She has no mother and I would like to be with her for this.” 

“She is upstairs if you want to see her.” 

Shrokakar nodded and was led upstairs. The other Qunari turned and walked out of the room and into the storm. Varric wondered which one was the poet.

=========================

Several hours passed. Varric began to pace in front of the fire in earnest. Hawke hung a kettle over the fire. They were startled by unmistakable sound of a fist pounding the door. 

“Venhedis, you will knock the door off its hinges!” Fenris shouted as he pulled the door open. He was practically trampled by the newest set of house guests. Shouts and curses could be heard from the foyer. 

“Ah, the Chargers are here.” Varric finally sat down and relaxed. 

“Where is she? Did I miss anything?” Dorian flung his cloak into Fenris’ arms. His tattoos began to glow dangerously bright. 

“Word of advice, Magister Pavus: not every elf is a servant in the Marches.” Bull took the cloak out of Fenris’ hands and hung it up next to his. 

“I, oh, terribly sorry. Honest mistake and—is that LYRIUM tattooed on your skin? Fascinating.” 

“Sparkler,” Varric's voice conveyed warning. 

“Nothing yet.” Hawke grabbed Fenris’ hand and squeezed it gently. 

“Hawke!” Merrill shouted from the stairs. 

“Spoke too soon,” Hawke kissed Fenris’ cheek and dashed up the stairs with Dorian and Stitches. Varric showed the Chargers the kitchen and Bull took a stool and sat by the fire warming his hands. 

“Are you not joining them?” Fenris slumped back into his armchair. Bull shook his head in response. 

“Can't complete with Dorian. Besides, we had a talk a while ago about it.” 

Fenris handed Bull a glass and filled it. “She told you to stay out, didn't she?” 

There was a moment of silence as the two men stared at each other. 

“She told me to stay out.” Bull growled. “Apparently I ‘overreact’ and become ‘unreasonable’ when it comes to the baby.” 

“That sounds like something Hawke would say.” 

Varric came back in and sat down. “Ahh, Tiny, it's for the best.” Varric leaned back in his chair. “Besides, you don't need to hear the things she's gonna call you.” 

=========================

The hours ticked by. The Chargers eventually quieted down and Varric snored softly in his chair. Bull attempted to enter the birthing room twice but gave up after Shrokakar threw a dagger into the door frame that narrowly missed his good eye. Eventually the door opened and Hawke came downstairs. She flopped into Fenris’ lap. 

“She's changed her mind, it'll be any minute now.” 

Bull launched himself up the stairs and burst into the room. A few minutes later they heard the unmistakable scream that indicated new life had entered the world. 

============================

He was small and round, with two small nubs on his forehead and full head of thick, black hair. His skin was pale gray and he balled up his fists as he screamed. They tied him up in a blanket and handed him to Bull. He cradled him in one hand and rocked him gently. The baby quieted and opened his eyes. At first glance Bull thought they were black, but upon further inspection it seemed they were a dark purple. 

“So, you've got your mother’s eyes,” he whispered softly. His son blinked. He was observant, like his father. Bull placed his son on his chest and leaned back into a chair near the fireplace. The infant snuggled in and was soon asleep, listening to the deep thrum of his father’s heartbeat. 

The door opened as Shrokakar and Hawke dragged in a large metal tub. Within minutes it was filled with scalding hot water. Athena was half lifted, half carried into the tub. She winced then sighed as she sank into the water. Shrokakar gently washed her hair, humming a tune Bull had heard before. 

Shrokakar sensed his eye on her. “I was assigned to be a Tamassaran, have my own brood to look after. I preferred daggers to diapers and left the Qun. I met her parents soon after I started the Valo-kas. Taught them how to fight. They were kids themselves when they had her. So I helped with this one.” 

Athena smiled as Shrokakar's strong hands untangled her hair and massaged her scalp. “I'm glad you are here,” Athena whispered. Shrokakar kissed her forehead and helped her into the bed. 

“Sleep while the little one rests.” 

Shrokakar straightened and looked over at Bull. 

“She deserves to be happy.” 

“I know.” 

“Well, see that she does.” 

Bull looked down at the baby sleeping on his chest, his little lips parted in an “O” shape. Bull smiled. “I think I can manage to follow those orders.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much! Can't believe how LONG this thing got. Really out of hand. And I'm already working on a DorianxLavellan bit too. Need something to do during my commute on the subway, right? Hopefully you liked it. Feel free to let me know!


End file.
